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Spacing of Baby #2 & #3

  • poll:
    You're insane : (25 votes)
    54 %
    Babies rock--go for it! : (21 votes)
    46 %
  1. matador84

    papaya / 10560 posts

    Honestly, I didn't realize how awesome it would be having two older kids! My oldest will have just turned 5 when the baby is born and the middle will be 3.5. They are both very independent, and just require basic supervision from me and both super helpful. I think it would be great if I had our 3rd while I was younger, but I've enjoyed our little family of 4 and all the things we've been able to do.

  2. Mrs. K

    apricot / 308 posts

    @bees_knees: I know this post is originally from some time back but I stumbled across it and saw that you now have 4- congrats! I have two littles and on the fence about a third. Lo1 is 2 yr 8 mo and Lo2 is 9 months. If we were to have another I want to wait until she is at least a year but I feel like our hands are so full already! What are your thoughts now that you’re on the other side of this?

  3. bees_knees

    persimmon / 1064 posts

    @Mrs. K: My thoughts remain: give me all the babies. All of them.

    So we have a 2y3m gap between DS1 and DS2, then 19 mo between DS2 and DS3, then 22 mo between DS3 and DD.

    The transition from 2 to 3 was definitely our most difficult--not sure if it's because of the small age gap, or because we went from man-to-man to zone defense, or because of DS3's personality (he was def our hardest baby). BUT it must not have been that bad, because we chose to have a 22 mo gap between #3 and #4 and it has been seriously so easy. And that's with us going through a major renovation at the same time! (Seriously. Our house was in pieces when DD was born. Kind of hilarious when I think back on it).

    Anyways, I think this advice was given earlier on this thread too--for me, it helped to think of the very specific logistics of everything. When we go to the grocery store--how will I get my kids from the car to the cart? Etc. I still remember the first time I had all 3 out in public by myself and I felt like superwoman

    For us, I think a 2ish year gap is perfect! GL deciding on going for a 3rd--you don't have to decide today, and remember it's ok to change your mind from day to day!

  4. Ms. RV

    pear / 1930 posts

    @bees_knees: I totally didn't see the dates at first and was all confused!

    @Mrs. K: DD was two months shy of 3 when I had DS1 and DS1 was 9 months when I got pregnant with DS2. DS2 is now six months, DS1 23 months and DH and I sleep in separate rooms because neither boy reliably sleeps through the night. There are nights when both are up twice and DH and I would get zero sleep if we both woke up four times. The boys are super, super close already and that is so awesome, but night wakings require strategy...

  5. bees_knees

    persimmon / 1064 posts

    @Ms. RV: haha! Nope, no more babies here, we have always said 4

    And yes I should have mentioned that I have rockstar sleepers so the sleep thing wasn’t as much of a factor in oir decision. All of my kids had been sleeping through the night 99% of the time by the time I got pregnant with the next.

    @Ms. RV: Hope those little dudes start sleeping better for you sooner rather than later! And hope all is well with everything else, too

  6. Petitduck

    kiwi / 624 posts

    @bees_knees: I love the 2 year age gap and think it’s perfect. There are 22 months between my first two and 24 between baby #2 and #3. I’d love to have a 4th, but my hubby is over babies. But if we did I’d want the same age gap.

  7. Pumuckl

    pomegranate / 3601 posts

    @Mrs. K: so we were the same and on the fence if we should go for no. 3 or not. One thing I was personally sure was that I didn’t want to be pregnant while still nursing again which is why LO1 and LO2 are 21m apart and LO2 and LO3&LO4 (turned out to be twins) are 24.5 (or would have been 25.5 months but preemies) apart. We love the spacing and ours are each other’s biggest supporters. Now that they are older it’s been a really cool thing especially during lockdown that they play so well together. Says the mum whose kids are currently playing in the living room while she sits in the kitchen and enjoys some HB and a cup of coffee. So while there are definitely hard days we definitely don’t regret going for no. 3.

  8. Mrs. K

    apricot / 308 posts

    @bees_knees: thank you for the advice! It was fun to stumble across this thread while I’ve been pondering this decision and being able to hear your perspective on things now. It does seem like people’s experience is all over the place and it sounds like a lot of it depends on temperament of the kids on whether or not it makes things harder or easier. Honestly the thought of going out with three kids sounds like such a feat! 😂 I have a hard time wanting to go out with two because I still don’t trust that my 2.5 yo son will stay close by and be safe, but I think I also need to just let go and try. Well, if I ever end up with a BFP I’ll hop back on here and share! Many thanks! 🥰

  9. Mrs. K

    apricot / 308 posts

    @Ms. RV: oh my gosh you’re totally right I didn’t even think of the night wakings!! 😱 yikes... I was lucky enough that my oldest was sleeping through the night when I got pregnant it’s a little one now but she is still not sleeping through the night consistently. I am hoping that as she is a few months older that she will eventually start to STTN more consistently!

  10. Mrs. K

    apricot / 308 posts

    @Pumuckl: that’s really part of the motivator for more kids closer together is the fact that they will *hopefully* grow up being close and be each other’s biggest supporters!! Can’t believe you ended up with twins! Massive bravo for you surviving!! 🤣 I hope they are at least good little sleepers for you!! ❤

  11. Pumuckl

    pomegranate / 3601 posts

    @Mrs. K: They have luckily all been at least half decent sleepers. The twins were in NICU a little while and on a schedule that helped with sleep

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