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I would send mine off much more frequently if either side of the family lived nearby. The reason why we haven't been away at all is because we have no one besides paid help (and we don't even have anyone regular there) to care for the kids. I think it's super important for kids to have time with extended family, especially one-on-one - we just don't have the option.

Both sets of grandparents would LOOOOVE if we let LO sleep over their houses regularly. I plan to do it when he's a little older, but he's a defiant toddler and I worry about them being able to manage him in unfamiliar settings.

My first overnight away from Dd was when she was 16 months. DH was home with her. A month later she had her first overnight at my in-laws while we went to a wedding. I just wasn't ready to leave her before that. We are also still nursing enough that I have to pump if I'm away for 18 hours or more so it's just kind of a hassle. Getting over the first one is half the battle and now that I've done it id be fine with it more often. She is with my in-laws 3 days a week while i work now since we pulled her out of daycare so I don't really like to use them for weekend care anymore. Oh and she still doesn't sttn consistently, so don't want to Put that on anyone else! I think when she is older she will spend more nights over there.

Only time we have done overnight is when we travel. We went to Germany and my parents watched DS for a week at our house. I guess if I needed to do something and would be gone I would have an overnight but not randomly. My family also lives 8 hours away.

@runnerd: I guess I mainly just worry that he will like run away from them on the street, or they won't be able to physically manage him if he is tantruming outside. I shouldn't worry though, they're all in good health and raised kids themselves! They know what they're in for

@mauxie: same here. I never randomly stayed with grandparents unless my parents were traveling.

Didn't read above responses, but I take advantage of my. IL's offer to let my kiddos stay over at least monthly. I say "it takes a village.." And your kids should have time to invest in loving relationships with adults other than you. In my case, the grandparents want to, my kids are happy and we are happy. It's a win all around. Don't let mommy guilt get you

I'd guess it is the age? I would not have allowed LO to spend the night at my parent's house without us the first 14 months because she was such a horrible sleeper! In that time she STTN maybe like... 3 times? And she wasn't a kid who just wanted a bottle and to be set back down (she stopped eating overnight by herself at like 2 mo). She usually needed to be rocked back to sleep and she usually would only let me do it. I wouldn't have put her or my parents through the drama of an overnight stay lol.

Now at 15mo she seems to be STTN (knock on allllllll the wood dear god I hope this is the new normal) so if my parents were interested I would probably love to have them watch her overnight! That being said, my parents LOVE visiting us/her and they are very gracious about watching her so we can have occasional date nights but they have never offered to watch her overnight and I probably wouldn't ask for a good long time. They are moving to our city (yay!!) next year and I am very hopeful that when she is older (like, 3+?) they will be willing to watch her overnight occasionally so we could have a legit date night/overnight/sleep in. Probably if they were wanting to (like seemed like they REALLY wanted to and weren't just being nice) I'd love if LO slept over for a night at their house like once/mo? That would be amazing.

My MIL is 15 min away and my parents an hour - M sleeps at their homes at least once a month. And everyone loves it!! It's always if we have plans like dinner with friends, concert, play etc. We've done it since she was about 4 months and so she's used to it and has never freaked with us saying goodbye. I think it gives everyone good bonding time together.

The only reason we haven't done this is that LO doesn't sleep though the night. We'll probably ask my parents to take him overnight sometime this fall or winter anyway because we want to TTC soon and could use at least one night away before we have another LO.

My MIL watches my 15 month old while I work everyday so I rarely ask her to do overnights. But she would and has when we needed. Usually though if we have weddings or something planned on the weekends my parents watch him either at their house or mine. They are an hour away and we see them usually a few times a month. They are always willing and happy to take him. My 3 nieces live across the county and they come to stay with my mom for a whole month in the summer without my sister. So overnights for them are no big deal.

@runnerd: we didn't leave LO with my parents overnight until she was 14 months old. She stayed at their house for a couple of nights. I didn't feel comfortable leaving her for so long whilst she was still a baby. She has only stayed at their house for another couple of nights since and that was because we were moving and we wanted her out of our hair until we'd unpacked! This November, when she'll be 2, is going to be the first time we're leaving her overnight for a pleasure trip rather than because we had to go somewhere for work/moving house and couldn't take her with us.

Reading on HB I'm always surprised by how often/how young people go away and leave their babies, but I guess everyone is different

@runnerd: I think you are doing it right and shouldn't feel guilty. The main reason we don't do it more often is because my dad doesn't offer and MIL lives about an hour away, which is far enough to make it annoying to drive there and back for a night off (plus LO gets carsick every time we make the trip). MIL has stayed overnight at our house while DH and I have stayed in a hotel, and that was nice. I mean to take her up on it again sometime.

@T.H.O.U.: Yeah, we both work full-time so that's the other reason we don't do it more often. The weekends are really our only quality family time.

Uh my DD sleeps over once a week on average. They take her for a long weekend whenever Dh and I want to go away skiing, to a concert, whatever. We even went on a week long trip just Dh and I when LO was 7 months. I feel zero guilt because they adore having her and only live 2 mins away. I had a very special relationship with my grandmother and frequent sleepovers was one of my fondest childhood memories.

@runnerd: Don't feel bad about overnights! My parents and my in-laws are both local. We probably leave her for an overnight with one set of grandparents like once a month.

For our parents, they actually prefer to keep her overnight than to babysit her at our house. That way, they can put her down at bedtime and be at their own house instead of waiting around our house watching our terrible TV. They also love having her there in the mornings to watch cartoons and eat pancakes.

And I always feel so restored after a night apart!

I didn't leave my daughter overnight until she wsa 13 months old and even that was just with my husband. I work full time and don't get to see her as much as I would like to as it is. It doesn't mean I wouldn't love a break, but when she was a baby, I just wasn't comfortable leaving her over night for her sake or the sake of those caring for her. Now that she's older we've left her for two trips, and a couple times we've let her stay with friends overnight in town just because it made more sense logistically (ie they kept her at their house while we went out on a date and since she was already asleep it just made sense to leave her and pick her up early the next morning).