Hellobee Boards

We don't. She's too little for discipline. When she does something I don't want her to I say no... but I'm pretty sure she doesn't know "no" yet.

She's started to man handle my face sometimes when I'm holding her (she's 9 months). The first time I'll tell her no in a firm voice, the second time I'll tell her no and stop her little fist from pummeling. The third time I'll usually put her down or move her so she can't pummel. That usually results in tears but it stops the pummeling if I get tired of it.

So after reading this thread lo pulled my hair and I told her no in a firm voice. And she giggled. I couldn't help but laugh.! Wow, my daughter is going to be spoiled!

For a very young child, I would focus on redirecting.

There's also another trick that works wonders, called "incompatible behavior." Here's a description from a NYT article about how a woman trained her husband using this technique.

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On a field trip with the students, I listened to a professional trainer describe how he had taught African crested cranes to stop landing on his head and shoulders. He did this by training the leggy birds to land on mats on the ground. This, he explained, is what is called an "incompatible behavior," a simple but brilliant concept.

Rather than teach the cranes to stop landing on him, the trainer taught the birds something else, a behavior that would make the undesirable behavior impossible. The birds couldn't alight on the mats and his head simultaneously.

At home, I came up with incompatible behaviors for Scott to keep him from crowding me while I cooked. To lure him away from the stove, I piled up parsley for him to chop or cheese for him to grate at the other end of the kitchen island. Or I'd set out a bowl of chips and salsa across the room. Soon I'd done it: no more Scott hovering around me while I cooked.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewanted=all

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I often do something similar. So for example, after his evening bath, Charlie kept trying to help prepare his milk bottle, which would result in spills, whining and crying (on his part, although I also wanted to cry). He would sometimes pour out the milk or do something naughty, which drove me crazy.

I ended up creating an incompatible behavior, by training him to hit the "30 second" button on the microwave that we use to heat the bottle. He would get so excited about that, that he would forget to try and help prepare the milk. It's removed the need for his involvement in the milk prep, which has eliminated the need for any discipline. Phew!

@chopsuey119: Oh I forgot to highlight one more wonderful point from that article:

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I adopted the trainers' motto: "It's never the animal's fault." When my training attempts failed, I didn't blame Scott. Rather, I brainstormed new strategies, thought up more incompatible behaviors and used smaller approximations. I dissected my own behavior, considered how my actions might inadvertently fuel his. I also accepted that some behaviors were too entrenched, too instinctive to train away. You can't stop a badger from digging, and you can't stop my husband from losing his wallet and keys.

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This advice works wonderfully on babies and spouses alike!

@chopsuey119: Haha, in that order?

@chopsuey119: Most dads I know aren't thrilled about being the clear and distant priority... but some dads don't mind at all!

I'm a big believer in, "whatever works for your family is what makes the most sense!"

It depends...sometimes a firm no doesn't do anything, like when he touches the knobs on the stove or plays with the floor lamp. We can't remove everything and frankly, I don't want to, because what do we do when we go to someone else's home?

Redirecting just causes a meltdown in some cases, so I have to pick my battles. If I need a few minutes in the kitchen, I have to do it during a nap. When my son is older, I'll have him "help" with simple tasks, but for now, he's too little and doesn't have the motor skills or understanding.