Hellobee Boards

I think a lot of it depends on how your son reacts and what he likes. He might have no interest in story time or a museum, so my suggestion is to try and then make a decision on whether or not you'll continue. Places by me offer a "try it session" ahead of registration, so in case your kid isn't interested, you're not out the money. It's really easy to say to someone that they should be doing something every single day, until you actually have to go and do it, lol!

Also, how many times a day is he napping? If you're down to one afternoon nap, you have a nice long stretch in the morning, so you have some more options during the week.

I'm a SAHM to a 2.5 yr old and a 10 month old. We head out to organised activities once, sometimes twice, per week, and that is plenty for me! We go for walks, run errands, and just do stuff around the house on the other days and I feel that's a great balance. On the weekends, DH is home and we usually run errands one day, and head off on an adventure of some sorts the other day (this is in addition to the one or two activities I do on my own with the girls during the week).

Honestly, I think it all comes down to personal preference - the thought of doing something every single day, plus taking care of the house and managing the errands, makes me want to curl up in a ball and not get out of bed. For other people, the thought of being cooped up in the house with a baby/toddler all day makes them want to tear their hair out.

I think your DS needs time to adjust, as do you, and there is no better place to do that than in your own home, doing things together. One or two activities per week sounds like plenty and I would leave it at that for now. If you think he needs further socialisation, then by all means look for more things to do, but I'd say your DH's expectation is a little unreasonable right now. I also think always having an organised activity potentially limits a child's ability to learn how to entertain themselves.....just my opinion though. You've got to find the right balance for you

When I was on mat leave, we got out once a day, towards the end of mat leave, because I was going nuts in the house alone.

I think you should do what's comfortable for you and your LO. Maybe you can talk more with DH about what all you are doing and how your LO is responding to those situations, so he has a better feel for what's realistic and what isn't.

When I was on mat leave, DH thought I should have the house spotlessly clean and a full meal I the table when he got home every day. He didn't understand how much work caring for an infant was!

I don't sah so take this with a grain of salt but I think getting out of the house every day is good for everyone's sanity most of the time. But, I think that includes the park, grocery store, errands, etc. you are helping lo acclimate to your life and your world here and that is a big part of socializing to your environment. I do solo parent a lot on the weekends and I think it is good for lo to come on errands to see that food and toiletries don't magically appear at the house, you know?

I think time will do the talking in this case and I would encourage you to trust your mama gut!

I stay at home and we have a library story group we go to once a week. We might add something else this spring, but I am honestly not concerned. Learning and socialization comes in many forms, like solo play and helping you run errands! It does not all need to be from structured activity, those can be great for some but overwhelming for others!

I think it's inportant to remember that most parents of two year olds have had two years to adjust and get to know their two year old. Your two yo has some unique issues so obviously your approach will be unique.

I agree with you on having fewer scheduled activities, especially as you are still working out sleeping and tantrums and whatnot. Fwiw I only have two scheduled things that I go to with my 17 mo (both free) plus a weekly play date, then the other days it's a mix of seeing friends, groceries, etc. I think she socializes plenty even just at the grocery store and that it's important for her to experience real day to day stuff, not only things that are centered around her (or, maybe I tell myself that so I'll feel better about not doing more activities for her?).

In the end, I'm a big proponent of You know your child best, so what's best for another LO isn't necessarily what's best for yours.

@hotchildinthecity: no way. Take your time. Spend your time loving up LO and adjusting. The most important thing is becoming comfortable - for you as a mom and for LO in his new life. The bond between parent and child is n.1. I would agree to once a week maybe. Motherhood is a humongous adjustment and for LO as well.

Eta: tell DH that I took LO to every Christmas activity and we have all missed Christmas- for a whole week now we have had the most horrible stomach flu. I know that can happen anytime blah blah but honestly I am going to even further tone down my winter indoor children activities! Just something to consider. It is cold and flu season and no one needs that added stress.

My LO is 2 and we don't do any classes. I run an outdoor play/hiking group once or twice a week. Other than that it's just going to the library or the park or meeting up with friends. He still sees other kids at this stuff and gets socialization that way.

Just enjoy your mat leave. My guess is rather than socialization your LO needs to learn about quality relationships. Socialization with you is probably enough at this point!

I'm not a parent yet, and I know only a little about adoption, but following along with you and reading the other responses I feel that this is such a unique situation that you really can not do what others are doing just because they have a child that's the same age or they SAH. Just being in new place with everyone who speaks a different language seems really overwhelming. At this point building trust and bonding while having your son adjust to your home seems like a lot on its own. Leaving the house every day sounds great, especially familiar places like the grocery store or coffee shop. However having scheduled activities everyday seems exhausting for both of you. I think you should consider how people act with a newborn, staying at home, taking it easy and getting to know each other can still be applied in some ways here. Just my thoughts, not sure if it's worth much. I'm so so happy for you.

I think in your unique situation, you do need the time just to get situated, start a routine, and get in a groove with just a new little person! I also think scheduled activities every day could be very overwhelming for your LO. I would not stress about it, and you'll find your rhythm and seek more activities the more comfortable you both get.

As for your question, we don't really do a "set" schedule of activities each week. We were doing 2 different classes last session (ended recently). I usually try to schedule at least one mommy & me class going on at a time. We do try to meet up with different friends a couple times a week, and we both love to get out of the house, so we're out and about doing something almost every day. I feel like even every day errands, taking my almost 2 y.o out with me, she gets a lot of socialization and learns about the world. But the idea of "scheduling" something every single day sounds daunting and exhausting. Hang in there and I'm sure you'll figure out what works for you soon!

@shopaholic: I was trying to think of the right way to say it, informal socialization was what I was trying to think of. @hotchildinthecity your son is getting socialized just by leaving the house and seeing the world. It does not have to be a formal class with a time and other kids his age for him to be learning and engaged. I hope y'all get what I'm saying.

@youboots: In fairness you did edit your post. I believe you had originally written that 5 days a week of scheduled activities were not a good thing for any child.

My LO is 26 months and we do organised activities three days a week. Monday and Wednesday we attend a small, informal community Playgroup (< ten kids) and Friday we go to a toddler music class which includes snack time and free play (25-30 kids plus parents).

In your situation I think your LO might do ok / cope better with smaller, more informal group activities so he can take his time to suss the environment out