Hellobee Boards

My kiddo was newly 3 when we started swim lessons. She had nothing but positive pool experiences and still absolutely freaked out her first few lessons. I got the same advice you did, go wait in the hall where she can’t see you, and I spent an entire swim
semester waiting outside the pool during our weekly lessons. Honesty, after the first few times, she was completely fine as long as she couldn’t see me, but would cry if she spotted me. After that semester, she was perfectly fine with lessons and I now watch her from the stands with the other parents.

Most of the swim schools I know of, parents are in another room with the one way view mirrors so you can see them but they can't see you.

I have a sensitive-ish 3.5 year old and honestly only this summer she told me she wants swim lessons. Before she had always explicitly said she didn't want to if I wasn't in the water with her.

I say power through it. I think because it's not once a week but daily, it will be much better for her in the long run. I would 100% adhere to the no parents in sight rule because that also helps immensely.

My daughter started swim lessons at 4 and we didn't have major issues but the once a week format took her forever to get used to the actual class and swimming. We did like a clinic for 5 days straight and then it finally clicked for her bc of muscle memory and for doing it repeatedly.

@castilrm: can you ask her what you could do to help her? Maybe remind her why she wants to swim (“I know you want to learn to swim so you can have fun with us in the pool” or whatever) and ask how you can help her.

My little guy is 3 this week and we just started weekly group lessons in the last month. He cried, was happy, cried and then was happy the last two weeks. I asked him how I could help him have fun and he told me I should tell him to “try my best” and “put swimming powers in my muscles”. I definitely wouldn’t have come up with that on my own! At this age I think you could at least see if she can help you problem solve together?

@castilrm: I can totally relate- to both your experience as a child and as a parent!

For years, my very stubborn son fought any type of swim lessons. He either flipped out or refused to participate in them. He was legitimately terrified of being in the pool with a stranger. Eventually, we got tired of wasting time and money on them and took a break for a few years.

Now, at five years old, he seems ready. We signed him up for private lessons at a small, quiet pool. On the first day, I asked the instructor to "just make it fun for him." The instructor spent the half hour playing games, being silly, and taking it easy. My son had a blast and learned to trust him. Today was our second lesson there and he happily hopped in the pool without me and was able to actually start learning some skills.

All this to say- it might be worth asking them to keep the next lesson very laid back and fun? That's what worked for us!

My son is also very tentative and shy and tends to be a perfectionist, getting frustrated easily. We just finished our first session of non parent assisted swim classes. We did low ratio so just 2 other boys and the instructor. What seemed to work was talking it up A LOT: ‘you’re such a big kid you get to go in without mama! Your teacher will help you and we are so proud because you’re being so brave!’ Etc. We did this every Friday night before class on Saturday morning and on the way to the class. It took 2-3 sessions for him to go to the instructor easily where he didn’t look miserable the entire time but by the end of 10 sessions he LOVED it and looked forward to going. I would stick with it for sure and be out of sight. You could also try for next time just a couple other kids and see if the peer pressure is helpful to go along with it. More than 2 or 3 kids is hard but I found it was a great ratio for my son.

@castilrm: Glad to hear things went better today. Honestly, i've seen some *screaming* kids, especially if the parents are in their sight line. Keep doing what you're doing and it'll eventually get better!