I'm really in need of some insight on this...

DS is a very sweet, thoughtful boy but every since he turned 3--he has become super defiant (only to DH and I). Today, I picked him up from preschool and on our way out to the car, he ran to play with a few other boys in a grassy area near the parking lot. The other mom's stayed and chatted while the kids were playing tag, no big deal. When I told DS that it was time to leave, he yelled, "No" and ran from me. I walked closer and repeated myself a minute later. He ran away again (I wasn't going to chase after him since I was holding DD who was hungry and yelling). I counted to 3 and he came but he then got distracted and started playing yet again. I told him if he didn't listen to me, then he would go into a time-out when we got home. Finally, after about 10 minutes, I got him in the car but he was pulling away from me, screaming the entire time and I had to get him in one handed. It was a nightmare. He kicked, hit, cried...full blown out melt down.

This has been on going for the past month. I'm really fed up...how can I survive the terrible 3's? What would you do in this situation? I feel like I have tried everything. Time-outs, taking away toys, a reward system, my mom suggested a swat to the bum but DS does not respond well to that (he only becomes more angry and violent). I've read so much about parenting through the toddler/preschool age but in the moment, nothing seems to stick. I try to keep calm. I try to get him to explain what he is feeling and why he is feeling a certain way.

I should add, one of the boys he was playing tag with after school, pushed DS down and his mom got upset with them. The little boy then told DS, "I don't like you". Obviously, DS's feelings were hurt and maybe it's why he acted out? Also, all the other moms saw DS's melt down. I was so embarrassed. I know "it happens to everybody" but...my child is the ONLY one who acts this way after school! Clearly, I'm doing something wrong. I feel alone. I need help and so I'm thinking a behavioral therapist might do the trick?