We're struggling getting our 3yo ready and out the door on time for school. I give her two options for outfits she doesn't like them, she puts socks on and they're too big so she needs new ones etc. Any suggestions for morning routines to make this smoother?
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Would she be okay to do outfits for the week, where she puts them together on the weekend, assigns it to a day of the week and then wears that on the day?
Does she always reject the same things, or is there no rhyme or reason to that? I would take the offending things out of rotation and include her in shopping, at least trying things on to get a sense of what is working for her.
I know it sounds boring and that you're potentially opening her up to wearing the same thing everyday, but doing this has really eliminated a lot of morning struggles with my son. I thought he looked super cute in jeans, but he refused to wear them, so after a little trial and error we found stuff that works and stick to that.
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@gotkimchi: how much time does she currently have now to get out of the house?
Our kids are early birds, so they are usually awake at 6:00-6:30am. But they don't leave for LO1s pre-k until 8:15. So they have 2 whole hours to slowly get dressed, eat breakfast, do hair, play. My husband does the morning potty/diaper change for both girls, makes breakfast and feeds both girls, and sometimes dresses the girls. Then our nanny comes at 7:45 and does hair and dresses them if they aren't already, and then they leave by 8:15.
I pack everything, absolutely everything, the night before. Except LO1s lunch container, which I put in the fridge. It's a microwavable thermos, so my husband will take microwave until hot and add to the backpack. But everything else is packed and by the front door before I go to bed at night.
eta: We go through some of the stuff you mentioned, but because there's so much time, we have time for the indecisiveness. My kids also like to get naked and then run away. So my husband has to chase them around a bit, but he has plenty of time for that.
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@looch: the only theme I can find is she's rejecting it because I'm offering it. It's stuff she's happily worn before and she wear it later. She's just saying no to say no. With weird excuses like those pants are too soft
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can you choose an outfit the night before??? not that a 3 year old will still accept the choice in the morning, but maybe? Or you could make a little outfit chart that she could pick and stick to for the day.
I didn't give my 3, now 4 year old, a choice, but he was OK with it. I couldn't fight about outfits in the morning with everything else going on!
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@gotkimchi: what happens if you let her pick?
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@Anagram: she wakes up around 6-6:30 and they need to leave by 8. I leave for work at 7:15 and I try to have her dressed before I leave. So for example today we all slept until 6:30. I got myself and the baby dressed. I got my older one in her shirt and pants. Apparently there was a sock incident between when I left and leaving for school. I like to have her all the way dressed before I leave but it wasn't possible today. She also complains about which jacket, which shoes etc
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@looch: that's what happened this morning, she picked a boat shirt and flower pants. It looks crazy but I went with it. I could try not giving her options just saying come her and pick and maybe arrange her drawers so the choices aren't so crazy
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@gotkimchi: I would just arrange what she has access to so it all goes, no matter what. Like all solid bottoms and print tops in coordinating colors if it really matters to you how she looks. Otherwise, I'd let her go with her choices. People understand you didn't do that to her, YKWIM?
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The baby gets up at 5, and I get my 3yo up at 6 and we leave at 6:35, so we have a pretty streamlined process. Here's what helps us:
An ikea shoe caddy hanging shelf with a full outfit on each shelf.
A basket with all the shoes in it.
Child height hooks with weather appropriate jackets.
So I'm out of the equation. LO knows to take everything out of one cubby and that is the day's outfit. We fill the cubbies on Sunday after checking the average temp for the week. Then I say to go choose a pair of shoes, etc. -
@looch: @MrsSRS: these are good ideas, I'll try to create a process that allows more freedom/independence for her
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The picking of the outfit the night before was a game changer for us. We couldn't get away with picking all outfits for the week on Sunday but if we take the time before bed to pick out the next day, it makes things easier. It's hard enough getting him to wake up!
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My 4yo is a major dawdler/procrastinator and what's worked for us is making everything into a FUN GAME. "Let's race to see who can get their pants on first, you or Mommy. On your mark, get set, GO!" "I'm a crazy shirt! Bet you can't get me on. I'm over here. I'm swimming away! Now I'm going that way! Hahaha" (he grabs it and puts it on). And more reverse psychology, "You can put on either the right leg first, or the left leg first, but DEFINITELY NOT BOTH!" He loves this nonsense and gets ready pretty easily
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@hummusgirl: that's a good idea too! Stuff like this works for getting in the car and stuff. If I say I'm going to beat you! She can't resist
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All of DS' clothes are mix and match. We have plain soft cotton shorts or pants, and then an array of fun t-shirts - short or long depending on season. We set out one combo the night before and if he has a fit about it in the morning, he can pick another shirt or pant and it's not a big deal. If he's having a hard time, we give him a second choice. If he doesn't want either, WE get a 3rd choice for him. If he doesn't pick one we start to forcibly dress him in whatever we decide and deal with a hot mess morning. Usually while this is going on he will scream for one of the 3 options we are not currently trying to dress him in and then we let him wear whatever that is. We found our son can't have endless options - it overwhelms him and he just starts flinging clothes everywhere. So we still do choices with boundaries.
He's very partial to his hockey team t-shirts right now so we just have like 3-4 of them. That way I can keep up with a clean one if he literally wants to wear one every day that week, although we try to use them more as a secondary option because he will almost always go with it and it's easy peasy.
Once he's in clothes we take him straight to the car and go. We usually like having his lunch, all his daycare stuff, water bottle, road snack, etc. all in the car before we get him up and dressed for the day. Letting him dawdle at home makes the mornings go worse for some reason.
We bought small hampers (maybe 12 inches wide?) at the Dollar Store and put them in the car under his car seat.. One has 7 pairs of clean socks refilled every Sunday night. One has 2-3 thin jackets and sweaters (obviously with rain coats and heavy coats this isnt an option - it's more the layers). We keep his sneakers in the car.
Once we get to school, before we get him out of his seat, we hand him the sock basket and ask him to pick a sock, and then we put his socks and shoes on. Then we get him out of his seat, hold out the jacket basket and ask him to pick a sweater if he needs one. Sometimes he doesn't want a sweater and then I'll have him stand outside the car for a minute so that he sees it's cold and he'll let me put a coat on him.
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@gotkimchi: Is it your husband/partner or a nanny that is struggling with getting her out the door in the morning?
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@gingerbebe: all great ideas thank you!
@Anagram: husband....and I have told him I think a lot of the problem is how he is approaching this and also my daughter knows I mean business but he's much more of a softy so of course she tries to see what she can get away with. Any advice for that lol?
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@gotkimchi: haha, nope! You just described me and my husband. I also leave early for work (6:45 am) so I just let him do his thing, which as I mentioned before, sometimes involving our naked kids running away from him when he's trying to dress them. He doesn't complain about it though, I think he thinks it's funny.
Did he come to you ask ask for help, or was he just venting/letting of steam about it? BTW--you do way more than me in the mornings, if you are dressing the baby and your oldest! I don't do a thing in the morning other than get myself ready and make our bed because DH makes the kids' bed.
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@Anagram: he was complaining and I also have been having the problem where she's refusing her choices for outfits so I was looking for suggestions for both of us!
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@gotkimchi: gotcha. Hopefully, the picking-it-out the night before trick will work. My oldest is not opinionated about clothes, but my youngest already is, so we'll see how she is when she's older.
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@gotkimchi: picking out the entire outfit the night before helps my picky and challenging 3 year old. We have a special hook that we put it on and she lays the socks or tights on the floor below it. She usually will wear what she chose the night before. But I don't care if she wears a crazy outfit. I have too many things to fight her on already. She mostly only wants to wear dresses and tights so our biggest fights are when tights just aren't appropriate.
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For us what works is having the same routine every single morning. Then as we go I say the next two things we have to do so he's warned.
We have about an hour to get out the door and most of the time we make it. His favourite stall tactic is to say he's still hungry right when I say it's time to go.
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@Foodnerd81: 3yo are the worst. Idk what happened but man she's been a pain lately
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@ALV91711: I think that would help, our mornings vary a lot depending on work schedules so I'm sure that's not helping
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@gingerbebe: I was also going to say that we have a couple t shirts that are no-fail options. He always wants to wear them (for us it's an excavator one and a fire truck). So i don't necessarily WANT him to wear the same thing to school every single day. But if he's having a fit that morning I know I can always pull that out and he'll put it on. I actually keep them out of his usual drawer/view so that it's special when I pull it out. And I can always pull together enough laundry between the 3 of us (no shortage of laundry over here) to wash it that night.
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