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What about introducing some signs to help him express himself?

There's a sleep regression around 18 months (give or take). My DD started spending up to an hour awake, sometimes it was crying but we started leaving a few board books and stuffies in her crib and she happily will play. She's tired and she needs to sleep but is going through a mental leap of sorts. It's finally getting better. I've also found she shows no other sign of being tired other than meltdown central.

My 19 month old went through something similar. She also isn't very verbal yet. She definitely saves her worst behavior for me! Someone once told me that means I'm her safe place. I try to remember that when I'm close to losing it. DD's thing is pulling hair when she's mad. I tried a few things (time out, talking to her) but what works is for me to remove myself from her immediate area until she's done with her tantrum. Then I go back to her for hugs and reassurance. When I'm not in her line of sight the time of her fit is significantly less.

It's totally normal at that age. You're not failing. But this is where being consistent pays off when they get to the other side of this stage. We noticed a big improvement closer to 2, another rough patch after 2, and now at 33 months he's great, although we're waiting on the next regression. No matter what tho we are just consistent about behavior and manners and sleep.

Our son only had two signs - more and all done. We just used them alllll the time and asked him if he wanted more or if he was all done. Eventually he got it after months of him being a jerk or screaming or ignoring. We also made him say please and thank you and put his hands together and say amen before meals. We used to motivate him with things he wanted like certain snacks and foods and he got all of those things really fast. We also did timeouts in the highchair or let him have his wailing fits in the high chair if he hit or kicked us and it was a loooong few months. Just be consistent. He was always worse for me bc I was the one he could depend on to be there through the jerkish behavior so he was always a psycho for me.

It will pass - hugs to you!

@babycanuck: lately, I've been trying (with some moderate success) that "unruffled"/Janey Lansbury method of just not reacting when my kiddo has a huge tantrum or hurts me in some way. TBH, I think before I would OVERreact--like if she hit me in the face, yes it hurts a little but she is a toddler after all, but I would scream and jump as if an adult man hit me in the face--thinking that would "teach her" that hitting hurts. But it seems she was seeking a reaction of any kind--positive or negative, so my overblown reactions were kind of fueling the fire.

I should also note that I read a lot of gentle parenting stuff, so that's my angle---but I found that when I started totally not reacting to the negative behavior, and at the same time really positively reacting to her good behavior, and also trying to "fill her tank" with a lot of cuddles, loves, 1-on-1 time when I'm not doing other things and just hanging with her, she improved.

Her tantrums have pretty radically decreased lately. So it could just be developmental and timing, or it could be that some of the things I've been doing are working. Either way, it's great, because compared to LO1, LO2 is extremely emotional and physical and tantrummy in general. Like her first enormous tantrums were as young as 10 months and she'll be 2 in August. So it's been over a year of that kind of behavior....but it's tapered off a lot recently.

So there's hope for you! It could just be a couple more months.

DD didn't hit, but she threw AWFUL tantrums around 16 months. They went away a few weeks later when she got much more verbal. Hang in there!