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I just wanted to commiserate! My son is a terrible eater. I get one good meal in him a day and I call that a win. He almost never eats dinner, and right before bath, he's asking for a snack. I'm hoping that soon enough he'll learn that he goes to bed hungry if he doesn't eat his dinner!!

My LO is tiny too so every bite counts. What works best for us is courses. I give a food he likes but won't choose if another good is available first. Often it's broccoli. Sometimes the protein if it's not his fave, like chicken. Then I give him the food he likes best, pasta, toast, etc. Last I do yogurt and/or fruit.

He may only take a couple of bites of each, but if it were all on his plate at the same time, he would only eat the food he likes best. (Sometimes he will spit out what's in his mouth so he can eat the new thing.)

I always ask him if he wants something else before getting up.

Char survives on the typical toddler diet: carbs, carbs, and more carbs. She usually likes mini-pancakes, buttered toast, or cereal/oatmeal for breakfast, quesadillas or grilled cheeses for lunch, and mac and cheese or pizza for dinner. Or pho if I'm having it.

She likes grapes and strawberries, bananas, avocados, cucumbers, and peas, but only sometimes, and never for more than 2 days in a row.

I grew up eating EVERYTHING and didn't have a choice to be picky, so it drives me nuts that she is such a poor eater! and how with baby brother around, she wants us to FEED HER (she's 2 1/2 and had been self-feeding for awhile now) since we spoon feed him. It's a mess, but I'm hoping that she will outgrow it soon.

I just need to stick to my guns about not being a short order cook for her, but no luck with that yet...

For those of you who have a rule that they have to try a food, HOW do you enforce that?? I would love to do that with LO but I can't force the food into his mouth...

When I was visiting a friend of mine, her toddler wouldn't eat dinner. After we ate, she threw spinach avacado and whatever fruit she has into a blender. Her daughter slerped it down. She said she feels better that her daughter at least ate something. I hope to use this strategy. I think it's a good idea. Maybe I'll add chia seeds and some protein powder.

H eats tons of carbs and raisins. It's so frustrating because I grew up loving veggies and I can hardly get a vegetable to pass her lips. Tonight I nearly wept with joy when she ate ground beef in pasta sauce.

@hilsy85: I don't know if this is the right way to do it, but I tell him he can't have what he wants (usually hummus or cheese) until he has one bite of whatever "new" thing I've served him. It generally works though it's not often he likes it enough to keep eating beyond that one bite.

My daughter used to be a nightmare about eating, but one thing that worked for us (at the suggestion of her speech therapist) is to stop making it a power struggle. That meant the following:

(1) No more begging her to take bites. We are supposed to appear neutral about whether she eats or not.

(2) No more scolding her for spitting out food. I just clean it up and make no comment whatsoever. That makes it less "fun" to spit it out.

(3) If she doesn't want to eat, I just say, "Oh, are you all done? Ok, all done!" and make a big show of putting her food away. When I do that, she usually changes her tune and requests more food, so I get the plate down and say something like, "Oh, you're not all done? You want more? Ok!" and then give it to her. That usually works to get her to eat at least a few more bites.

The idea is just to make a meal into a neutral thing, rather than a power struggle where the parent wants the child to eat and the child can "win" by refusing. When this idea was first proposed to me, I thought it would never work in a million years. But now my daughter (usually) eats great for meals. It used to be a full-on nuclear meltdown at every meal, so that is a big change. She's still reluctant to try new things, but I've found that she will eat more if she has some kind of control. Like if it is in a plastic bowl that she can hold herself and dip the spoon in or whatever. Or little packs of yogurt that she can hold herself. Or something she can dip into a sauce herself. I think the novelty keeps her interested.

@Anagram: we always read a book at the table. That is the only way he stays in his chair long enough to eat a meal.

@LML: yep....when there are oral motor issues, it's a totally different bag.

But, I do think a lot of it is about control as well. Kids don't control that much, really none if you think about it, so they do flex their muscles and try to see what they can get away with. It's tough to make the call if they're hungry or not...I swear I can not hear my son's stomach grumble!

@sunny: Feeding K is usually my number one stress each day. She doesn't squirrel away the food - usually just flat out refusal, mouth clamped, head flops, and pushing or throwing the food away. Before, when I could spoon feed, meals could take upwards of 2 hours. I sort of just gradually did what @LML: outlined. I noticed she'd eat better (or at least with less outward refusal and throwing, etc.) if I just left her on her own to eat and acted neutral. If she doesn't eat her food, I'll try to take it away, say "all done?" etc. and she usually will protest and take at least another bite or two. Still, she eats very very slowly. And if I even try to push any food on her, even stuff she likes, she becomes more defiant and feeds off any signs of stress I show. So, like with most things, I just try to ignore it. I have just taken away food even if she doesn't eat and try the "let her be hungry" thing. She's skipped 3-4 meals in a row. Not until I really take away snacks has she improved on eating meals. Even though she's almost 2, I've recently gone back to carrying pouches with me for emergency snacks. If she's skipped meals but actually hungry, she'll down a pouch or two. Not sure if all this helps, but I can relate on how stressful having a terrible eater can be.

@avivoca: ha what is with these kids! I attempt to be neutral too but all junk kills me lol