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What a dumb thing to say, I have no idea why someone would say that.

I heard this from people too. It usually came after someone asking how long I had been married and if we were planning to have a family. All of it is just rude & nosy.

Having children is a personal choice and doesn't concern anyone else other than the two people that choose to make a baby. I don't understand why people offer unsolicited and mean spirited advice as if they're experience should be gospel.

My guess is they are trying to be funny/sarcastic, this is especially the case with parents of teens dealing with all the moodyness but they love their kids I'm sure and wouldnt trade it for the world

I'd retaliate right back and ask them, "really? I know you had a bad night/sick kid/discipline problem but would you really trade your kid?" If they are being nosy and rude put it right back at them and put them on the spot... then I bet they'll all just say they are joking.

Even if people are joking it's not funny.

My gut reaction is to wonder how or why someone would ever say that. But I do recall at some point early in my second trimester, a younger coworker asked how pregnancy was going and I think I said "It's a disaster, never do it." But I was going on 16+ weeks of nausea and crippling fatigue...

I think if I ever heard someone actually tell another person to never have kids, I would just feel sympathy for how tough that person's life must be. (And/or their kids' lives.)

No. But I don't think I'm close with anyone who openly and deeply regrets parenthood. However, I have definitely gotten a few comments about waiting until DD is much older before having a second. I have a good friend who is only half jokingly making me promise to rethink our plan to add another while our first is still young. While she adores both of her kids, she claims having a preschooler and newborn is a living nightmare.

My parents always discouraged me from having kids any time soon (awhile ago). To wait and experience life and yadda yadda. It got old, FAST

I wonder if this is the counter-response to people finally figuring out it's not nice to pressure others about when they're having kids...and subsequently ending up at the other (equally not nice) extreme?!

@Synchronicity: In the case of your coworker, she was probably just trying to be funny. I understand why you might not find it funny, but I'm sure I've (jokingly) said things to the effect of "Want to borrow them for the weekend and see if you still think so?" to people cooing over how cute my kids are at a time we've been having a bad week. I'd like to think i've only made silly comments to people who are close enough to me to get it and share my sense of humor...but I don't know. I'd never combine my joking with advice not to have kids, though!

Never! I can't stand people who say stuff like that and I'd shut it down real quick. Just because you're miserable with having kids doesn't mean anyone else will be! My mom "just you wait"'s me all the time and she's never been right.

I think it's equally as thoughtless and rude as telling people they *have* to have kids or that they should do it soon! You never know what someone is going through. But I assume most of those people are just having a rough time and trying to make light of it. I've actually heard DH say it to friends when we are having a rough patch- in fact I'm sure he told his friend not to have a second, since we've been having a rough transition, and then we found out his wife is pregnant again. Oops.

Also my brother totally told me I should wait a while and get lots of traveling in before we had kids- I know it was because his son came a little sooner than expected and he and his wife didn't get to do some things they had planned- but I was secretly 8 weeks pregnant at the time.

@Eko: agreed.

@Synchronicity: so many people said this to us. Even now that we have kids, when K is throwing a tantrum or something, I always hear the "oh, just you wait until..."

FWIW, I think you should probably have kids like, tomorrow