Not to say we didn’t know what we were doing, but we (mostly I) didn’t think this through. I’m 41, and I thought , let’s NTNP, and if it happens it was meant to be. Now I’m freaking the fuc* out. Financially this scares me, our house is too small for 3 kids, and mostly I like my little family like it is. It’s new (I’m not even 5 weeks pregnant), and I will be honest - a lot of thoughts are going through my head in terms of what to do. Anyone with any thoughts or advice - I would welcome it.
persimmon / 1380 posts
No advice, just wanted to say I understand how you are feeling. I am 7 weeks along with my third and it was not planned! We hadn't ruled out wanting a third but I am only 9 months postpartum with my second so we hadn't even discussed whether or not we wanted another child. I majorly freaked out and cried a lot. I have a lot of worries, a lot of which are financial, where are we going to put a third baby, how am I going to handle 3 kids 4 and under, especially with the last two being so close together. We have a great dynamic with the 4 of us and I am worried that this will be so different. But, I am slowly warming up to it. First trimester nausea and tiredness has started so on days where I don't feel great I have a lot of anxiety about it but on days where I am feeling good (like today) I am not quite so terrified. Anyway, like I said, no good advice but I am in the same boat you are and I completely understand everything you are feeling right now.
grapefruit / 4045 posts
First, congratulations! I would probably be feeling the exact same way as you. I felt this way when I found out I was pregnant with my second. I am not onto my third yet, so I don't have any specific advice. But I felt all the same issues you do. You will make it work. The kids can share rooms. You likely have all the toys, clothes and whatever that you need. Remember that the infant, new baby sleep challenges are temporary. And hooray! Three will be so fun over your lifetime! Congratulations! You will do great! And if you don't do great, you will survive and be happy in the chaos!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Aww, I would feel the same way even though ultimately I'd be very happy! Real life is hard and all your concerns are legit bur I also know that the dust will settle and you will never look back and regret anything. I think as much as I don't mind a 3rd happening, I 100% would have the same concerns, mainly financially. And TBH, my two are similar age to yours and now that DD2 is almost 2, I feel like myself again finally and looking forward taking more trips, and doing things as a family of 4 and if a 3rd randomly happens it would for sure throw a wrench in our immediate future.
pomegranate / 3759 posts
I’m a new mom of 3. Ours was planned but can confirm that I freaked the eff out when I got that positive test. It seems like 10 more people are being added to the family even though it’s one. I will assure you that the third has been the easiest by far. You really don’t need much more space. Siblings love the new baby. Try and enjoy this as much as possible. There may come a day when you realize that it will be your very last time. Congrats and you got this 
kiwi / 625 posts
@Lindsay05: thank you - that is a very good point. I won’t get this moment back - and at my age, it is undoubtedly my last time. That very much helps me to keep perspective!
kiwi / 598 posts
We’d been TTC for our second for 1.5 years and I still freaked out when we finally got a BFP that stuck. I still have anxiety about adding to the family and I’m 32 weeks. I think it’s a natural reaction! Ultimately I am very happy and it sounds like this is good news to you too!
Congratulations!
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Congrats 
Our third was planned and when I found out I still thought ummmm......I think we just made a big mistake, I’m not sure I want to start over now that it’s real. But we had wanted 3 and now I feel like we have a big fun family, it’s def a bit chaotic but there’s just so much
nectarine / 2806 posts
@oskarsmommy: you give me hope! I’m 40 and really want a third. I’m sure I’d be freaked out too, but getting pregnant at 41 is pretty dang awesome!
kiwi / 625 posts
@CatchAFallingStar: thank you! I do feel like I’m only half way there - I mean I need to see a heartbeat, then we plan to do CVS testing. I’ve always ‘gotten’ pregnant easily (I just think that is anatomy - but I’ve had several chemicals and a missed MC, so...
pear / 1622 posts
I would definitely be freaking out. I am 41 too and in my perfect world I saw me having 3 kids but decided for the IUD and being happy with 2. But if I got pregnant I think I would ultimately say it’s meant to be and be excited. I would also try to take it one day at a time like you are doing but it’s hard thinking of all the big things! I am happy for you! Hoping everything goes smoothly!
pomegranate / 3768 posts
Congratulations! I was also NTNP and my third happened REALLY quick and I was like oh crap. We had to get a bigger car (minivan!) and still looking for a bigger place. It’s hard but when I see my three kids together and know that they will have each other for life, it makes it all worth it. Nothing beats seeing that sibling love. Everything will work out!
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