My husband runs his business from our home. He has a designated office on our main living level, and is working to renovate our basement so he can have a larger office/man cave/recording studio. I work full time out of our home, and when I come home with our toddler at around 4:30 p.m., he's usually still in full work mode. If he's not downstairs working on his renovations, his "office" has become the entire house, with the debris of whatever he's consumed or worked on that day still all over the kitchen and living room. Or he just ate "lunch" at 4:30 p.m. Or he's passed out on the couch with his computer in his lap, and since he's had a mid-day nap, he's now two-three hours behind in his schedule.
Any of these situations leave me to be the primary dinner chef (he doesn't eat with us unless we order take out or bring take out home), toddler-entertainer, clean up crew, bath time and bed time director. Then when I'm done with that...he's just made himself dinner and the kitchen is a mess...again. Weekends are no better - he sleeps in until about 9/10 (me and DD are up between 6-7 a.m.) and this throws the schedule off even more. He also usually has work to do on weekends too.
I really respect that he has created and is running a successful business all by himself. He is a loving husband and a good father. But this schedule is running me ragged and making me resentful. My job has a very strict schedule, it starts at 7:25 a.m. and is contractually done at 2:55 p.m., but all teachers know "done" is a relative term for educators. I also often need to bring work home, I know it's a lost cause since I'll be "working" at home until 9 or 10 p.m. We've tried setting up schedules, but he can't seem to stick to them because some days his job is non-stop and other days he has time to go out golfing for a few hours. And forget about any days my DD and I might be home due to holidays or snow days - my husband feels like he can't work. Any suggestions on how to better align our lifestyles?