This is me. Scared. To. Death. Like completely terrified. So excited to have LO here in 4 months, but the birth part = biggest fear in life. Was anyone else like this? How'd you get over it? Any tips?
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@mrscobee: YES!!!! I was so terrified, the thought would just make me cry.....
Nothing prepared me other than it happening... lol
You kind of go into warrior mode......
I was even so freaked out by the IV the nurse made a wrap so I didn't have to look at it in my hand....lol -
I was never THAT scared, but for me, reading tons of birth stories really helped me feel more comfortable with knowing what I could expect. I read good, bad, whatever, which helped me feel prepared (more so than the actual child birth prep class that I took).
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I was scared of the unknown. There was no doubt in my mind that I could do it, but I was scared of the pain, the needles, how long it would take (my mom had a 24 hour labor before c-section with me and a 22 hour labor before c-section with my sister). Once it started, the fears went away. Also, I took a great birth class and our instructor covered what the labor room would look like and what the operating room would look like, which eased my fears.
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I wasn't scared to death, but I was pretty anxious for a while. It helped for me to do prenatal yoga, because the instructor was very empowering and I gained a lot of self-calming techniques. I also read The Birth Partner, which explained all the typical events that occur during a birth (as well as other issues than *could* happen and how to have your coach/partner navigate them). My big aha! was watching birth videos in the birthing class that didn't involve women flipping out like I saw in a lot of other movies & TV shows. I thought "Damn! Those ladies did it, I can too!"
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I was nervous bc I didn't know what to expect and ironically - going into things - a Csection actually sounded preferable to me!
But I had a super easy vaginal delivery...My epidural was awesome and I slept most of the time. They literally woke me up for a check, announced that it was time to push, and LO was out in about 5 pushes. I also didn't have any tears or stitches - just internal scrapes - from all the perineal massage they did.
So it was actually way easier than I could have ever imagined, and I'm actually not nervous about this LO (induction a week from today), and am wondering if I have a really false sense of simplicity surrounding labor. This one might be AWFUL, but I guess because my first one was A-OK, I halfway expect this one to be the same. And the other half of me is afraid that it will be horrible:)
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I definitely was scared, but honestly in the moment you are so much stronger and resilient than you think. I was so scared to have the epidural and the prick felt less painful than blood draw. Pushing was exhausting, but when you know you are about to meet your little one you get through it. You can do this!
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Yes! So much that I really pushed for adoption because I just didn't think I could do it - the needles, the pain, the pushing...ugh. I would literally make myself sick worrying about it. But it resolved itself - by 38 weeks or so I was so desperate to not be pregnant anymore that I stopped giving a shit about the childbirth part.
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@wonderstruck: LOL, I joke to everyone that the eternity of pregnancy must be necessary bc at the end you don't care how you get that kid out of you or what kind of crazy shit has to go down, you just want it OUT.
That's where I'm at! If I could reach in there and either get her myself or break my water just to get the party started, I would!
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Yeah, I was pretty scared but like @wonderstruck: and @PrincessBaby: said, I was just desperate to get him out by that point. I was no longer scared by 40 weeks!
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I was scared in the beginning but near the end I was just so ready that the fear went away.
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@mrscobee: Bradley method classes really helped a lot. It gave me confidence, helped me to feel empowered to take change of my healthcare, taught me what would happen= I recommend it!
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@mrscobee: please read Ina May Garten's books about childbirth. I think reading positive stories is very effective and her book in particular is quite empowering. Also look into hiring a doula for extra support.
You can do this! It will be amazing! -
As it got closer I was honestly too scared to even think about it. I just made an effort not to and cut myself off with "it'll be ok, people do this every day, and a couple months later I'll be recovered with a baby."
It actually wasn't that bad. I had a long labor but the part I was scared of was pushing and I did it with an epidural, no issues, and I was in no pain. I think I made it seem way worse in my head!! Even the recovery!
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Ina May Garten's books are great, as well as just reading positive birth stories online. I also recommend hypnobabies home course (even if you don't plan for a med-free birth, there is one track in particular called Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations or something that is really helpful for just feeling good about your pregnancy). I was pretty calm in the last trimester and I think it was due to hypnobabies (that being said, I still ended up with an epidural).
Hugs, you can do it!
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Yes, but that's mainly because I had a very traumatic birth with my first. I wasn't as worried about delivery prior to my first, but knowing the reality of what can happen freaks me out.
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I second @Greentea: Bradley Method classes (or even the Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way book) are so helpful for understanding what will happen! My labor/delivery was pretty easy and I credit part luck/biology and part Bradley method for helping me stay calm and relaxed which helped things go more smoothly.
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I agree with all of the above about reading birth stories, garten's books, and Bradley classes. Only 2 weeks into my classes, but I LOVE them so far. And DH is actually enjoying them. He knows nothing about what to expect (and the experience last year with the induction part of the termination didn't help), so I think it makes him more confident too. Knowing I'll have his support and confidence is really helpful to me. Also, hiring a doula helped me. I know she'll be there and can provide all the help I need, and she'll really know what she's doing. And I can text her anytime I get nervous between now and then!
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I wasn't as scared as you sound, but I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Like others have mentioned, I think Hypnobirthing or a similar class would help you. Even if you have no interest in med-free birth, there are a lot of exercises geared toward interrupting the fear-pain cycle (i.e. the more you're afraid of something, the more pain you tend to feel, which increases the fear, etc). There was a woman in my class who sounded a lot like you, and I don't know how her delivery went but I know she was mentally in a better place by the end of our sessions.
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I'd second what everyone else has said about birth stories. My daughter's birth actually ended up being fairly traumatic for her, with the code team rushing in and everything. But because I had read a lot of stories, I knew that very many newborns needed help breathing, and that it wasn't that big of a deal. And it wasn't, and before long she was fine. So I'd really, really suggest learning all about what's normal, even the scary stuff.
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@FaithFertility: Can you tell me more about the wrap? My IV lock really bothered me and took me out of my zone. I could not stop looking at it.
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I was a little bit scared but as I got closer to my due date I became less scared. Then, when I had LO, it was unexpected (she came early) and I think the adrenaline of getting her out safely carried me through labor! I also discovered I have a verrrrry high pain tolerance! Oh and the epidural was also my friend. It really relaxed me mentally!
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I wasn't initially scared to go into labor, but I was terrified about being induced. All I had heard were horror stories about Pitocin. I ended up reacting very quickly to the drugs and my labor was only two hours. The nurses made a huge difference in making me feel more comfortable. They were so knowledgable and experienced. It did hurt a lot, but when you're in the moment, your instincts just take over. There's no time to be scared, it just happens.
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I was definitely scared and around seven months cried to my midwife about it. She recommended reading Birthing from Within. I started it but didn't finish but maybe check it out? Our Bradley classes also made me feel prepared and like there was less unknown, which helped a ton. Although my birth story had some unexpected twists, it all worked out to a smooth delivery and recovery. I wish the same for you and peace in the meantime!
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Read all you can! For me, knowledge is power and comfort and reduces anxiety
Also, yeah....you're so so so uncomfortable at the end (unless you're a unicorn), that you're just ready to get it over with (I'm 37 weeks and starting to feel that way!)
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I was and am absolutely petrified. Seriously. So with my first, when she ended up being breech and needing a c section, I was relieved beyond belief and no one coukd understand why I wasn't upset about that, and no one can understand why I am glad I now automatically have the option of a c section this time rather than try for a vbac. I have no desire at all to try for a vbac. But in my case, many of my friends and family have had very bad, scary labours and I think part of my fear is based on that and I worry that if something goes wrong I will panic and not be able to work through it.
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Research, research, research. I was scared but not necessarily scared to death. I got ku'd and actually was hoping for a csection b/c I thought that would be so much easier! I realized that a csection might not happen so I started researching, reading and watching birth videos. Knowledge is power in my book. After doing all that I knew I could do it, I didn't want to do it but I knew I could do it. It's like anything you don't want to do, you gather your strength, you meet it head on and you push through (pun intended
)In the end giving birth wasn't that bad and recovery was ok too. I mean it's not the most fun thing ever and there are times when you really want to give up or when you'll just cry BUT you will survive and it once it's behind you it won't even seem like it was that bad!
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I was terrified of medical interventions and complications. I had no idea how I would handle the pain, but I figured that my body was designed to handle a routine vaginal birth and that I would get through that.
I was way less bothered by my heplock than I expected to be. (Labor was just very distracting.) And I was extremely lucky to have a complication-free labor (albeit a 23-hour one). So I did not need to confront too many of my fears in the end.
I was even afraid to get an epidural but I ultimately got one after my labor was stalled out at 9.5 for a couple of hours.
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I was pretty scared of giving birth and, like @princessbaby:, thought that a c-section sounded preferable! I was induced at 41+1 and was terrified - my induction actually got pushed back from the night before to the next morning, and I cried and kind of threw a little temper tantrum because I had finally psyched myself up but then had 12 more hours to freak out about having to give birth. (Clearly, I was not one of those who was ready to be done, just still terrified of having to give birth!) Anyway, it was actually a really positive experience. I reacted really well to the induction (start-to-finish was about 12-13 hours, even with 2 hours of pushing) and I had a few internal tears, but nothing terrible. I would (and will definitely plan to) do it again!
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YES!!!! I was worried about complications because even though I know my OB would decide the best option for us, I just didn't know how I would handle the situation since I'd be totally helpless, but want nothing except the baby comes out healthy. You hear horror stories of having the dad choose mommy or baby or how the baby doesn't make it, etc. OMG!!
I was also terrified (more so than the complication aspect), of the post delivery. Mainly the tearing. The pain of it and recovery process while still caring for a newborn and myself.
I was induced so while I had final due date, it still scared me sh!tless!!! Because ready or not, I was giving birth. Even when it was time to push and the OB asked if I was ready/okay, I was super duper anxious. It's just one of those things where you kind of just hold your breath (metaphorically) and make it happen.
Meanwhile, my labor and delivery for DS was absolutely amazing!! Like he set the bar really high for subsequent babies because I want all my deliveries just like his. lol Minus the decel scares and my OB threatening to give me an episiotomy after my 2nd set of pushes!
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@Corduroy: I'm really squeamish about IVs. I just told my nurse that being able to see it would really freak me out and right after she put it in she covered it for me with gauze or wrap or something. I've had to get IVs at three different hospitals and the nurses have always done that for me, I think it's a pretty common request, just ask!
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Yep! I am the biggest pain wuss in the world; never had any surgery, don't do well with pain, hated annual OB exams... And through out pregnancy I read about worse case scenarios... I was freaked out about contractiongs, what if I can't get epidural, what if epidural doesn't work, the pains of pushing, tearing, recovering... And don't even talk about c-section! I was terrified at the thought of having surgery while awake!
I was SO nervous going into the hospital (but I didn't have contractions since I was induced). There were def extremely uncomfortable moments (IV, draw blood, check cervix, etc). At the end when I was pushing it was def very overwhelming, but I def feel like what doesn't kill you makes you stronger haha. At that point you have no choice but to keep going! It was hard pushing (and I felt it even with epidural), I got cut AND I tore, but recovery was surprisingly easy and this is coming from a pain wuss!!
For weeks and months after birth I kept saying man I don't know if I can do that again. But at almost 5 mo pp, it's true that you start to forget enough, or start thinking like well it wasn't THAT bad, I lived through it afterall, in order to want to do it again!
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