LO has a grandmother who goes crazy with presents at Christmas. Before LO was born, we asked her to only buy DH and I one or two presents, but even if she promised to keep it small, she never followed through. It really bothers DH, because it is such a waste of money (if we could, we'd return most of it, which we can't because she throws away receipts and tags mercilessly).

This is LO's first Christmas, and as DH rightly predicted, it is even worse now. We tried talking her down, but she is so set in her ways and believes it is her right to spoil her grandchild. Of course, LO is too young to be affected by right now. But in a few years, we really worry that:

a) this practice will really make the commercialized gifts part of the holiday overshadow everything else.
b) LO will look forward to "Granny's Christmas" more than our own.

We plan on doing the "want, need, wear, read" present formula, and even if we had the money to outdo Granny, we would never buy her the extravagant things I am sure that they will. We've tried getting the grandparents on board with a five present cap (nope), doing the want/need/wear/read thing (nope), insisting that we don't have room for many presents (no problem, the presents will stay at HER house!), expressing our concern that too many presents undermines other aspects of the season like charity and sacrifice (she looked at us like we were crazy).

Assuming that no amount of reasoning, begging, or threatening can change a grandparent's desire to shower LO with presents, my question is, how do we as parents counteract it? Should we become more austere in our own holiday traditions to try to really drive home the message that gifts are not what this holiday is about? Should we hide as many of the gifts as we can once we're home and only dole them out at special occasions throughout the year?

Our feelings about the cupidity of the grandmother's actions aside (and rest assured that she does it at least in part to show off what a wonderful person she is and to try to buy LO's affection)...what if, despite all our moralizing pep talks, LO still sees her visit to Granny's as the true pinnacle of Christmas because she gets so many toys? That would break my heart. I would feel like I failed as a parent. I would feel resentful, like her grandmother stole something special from us by making our child see our household traditions as plain and boring compared to the avaricious nature of the holiday at grandmother's house.

P.S. I know you might be thinking, "Hey, I buy my kids tons of toys and I don't like the implication you're making here!" But you have to understand the level of monetary gifts this woman buys. LO has not even turned one yet and this Christmas she will easily have over a thousand dollars in toys. I'm sure it will only grow, if my DH's experience as a kid is any indication. And there's no way to stop it, unless we just cut off all contact.