Was invited to a bridal shower. There is a shower registry link for basically all alcohol (nothing else). There is no other registry (bride is hoping for money for her wedding - Cultural wedding, it's customary to give money).
Should I buy something for the shower AND gift money for her wedding?
nectarine / 2272 posts
Yes I always buy a gift for the shower and give money at the wedding
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Yes, I do gift for shower and money for wedding. Even when it's not cultural!
persimmon / 1183 posts
Oh wait. I just got clarification.
It's a shower registry, but the alcohol on the registry will be used for the wedding.
Do I still get the wine and give cash?
grapefruit / 4321 posts
Wait. The guests are expected to pay for the alcohol they will then be served at the wedding? That's a shower I would skip.
persimmon / 1071 posts
@stiletto_mom: Yup. It's a stock the bar shower.
If you're close to the couple and plan on attending both, bring some wine to the shower and money at the wedding. Or skip the shower if you don't want to go.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
Yeah, that's pretty much how it works - give a gift at the shower and money at the wedding. Never heard it described as a cultural thing, I live in the US and every wedding & shower I've been to have been like that.
persimmon / 1481 posts
That's kind of strange that she's registering for the wedding beverages for her shower...but yeah if you're getting gifts, do both.
clementine / 854 posts
I would only go to the shower if I were close with the bride. It would feel weird to help stock the bar for their wedding. If it were a close friend though, I'd do it.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I guess it depends on where you live. In NY, we always got a shower gift and gave money for the wedding. Here in Texas, many people only do a shower OR wedding gift and giving money is not as common...I was surprised at our wedding!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Interesting, I have never heard of this! But either way I'd give the gift and give money...
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
This type of shower is new to me as well. What I found online is stock the bar for the couple's home not quite help purchase alcohol for the wedding. The latter is basically an admission fee for a wedding. Nonetheless you give a gift for the shower and another for the wedding.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I just go along with whatever the couple is doing, I don't put too much effort/thought into what is considered appropriate etiquette these days.
kiwi / 578 posts
I find this thread very interesting. I grew up in the south and like @travellingbee: mentioned people usually only buy for one or the other. Family are the only ones I can remember that may have done both shower and wedding money for us. I had no idea it was any different elsewhere. Love when HB opens my eyes to something I've never heard of!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@travellingbee: @Bea: I am in Atlanta and this would be a huge no no. I haven't heard that this was a thing in the south to just give a gift to one or the other.
kiwi / 735 posts
I usually give a little shower gift and a little wedding gift. My mom however give really good big shower gifts and then does not bring anything to the wedding.
kiwi / 578 posts
@Smurfette: I guess I shouldn't say south then? Maybe more regional as I live near TX. Or maybe not related to region at all. I grew up in a very rural area so maybe that plays a part? Who knows! But I'm very intrigued.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
@Smurfette: I would have thought it was a big no-no too but my MIL said that is how it is done here. I don't know if it is a Texas thing or a southern thing. I just know that is how it is here.
pomegranate / 3779 posts
@travellingbee: Never heard of that here in Texas. Everyone I know gives both.
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