Hellobee Boards

It first started off as a place to get parenting information (FTM going through bad sleep issues), then a community to turn to for advice, venting, friendship, unintentionally helped me broaden my perspective, and now is just a time filler.

@jaguar:

@Arden: back atcha

@simplyfelicity: If it makes you feel better.. other than dabbing my toes back into the IVF thread, I'm stuck in limbo in the Loss boards too. And I can't see myself going anywhere else for a while, you know? x

eta: And more back in YOUR general direction too. Giant bear hugs.

I used to think HB was a sanctuary: an outlet for a gal all alone in a foreign country where everyone else is multiple timezones (and families) way. I found this site friendly, uplifting and educational. The posters were encouraging and provided an interesting mix of diversity.

But through the years, I've noticed an obvious clique of a few individuals that has managed to turn a friendly, open community into miniature version of Jr. High School drama - not always, never always. But in some choice threads, all the drama and bullying is there. What's really disheartening is they seem to pick threads that are drama free. It's almost like a game that's played: The how much drama can I stir-up now challenge. It's usually started by one individual poster that's somehow "backed-up" by her posse of virtual high-5s.

I got all that shit out of my system in Jr. HS (and even then, I didn't care for it), and that was a really, really long time ago. It doesn't really motivate me to share more of myself, it forces the opposite. After reading pp, it seems I'm not alone.

To answer the question in summary:

Before: outlet, information resource, entertainment, motivation, education, shopping guide, sale hunting, encouragement, venting, motivation -- a lot of warm and fuzzies.

Now: information resource, product reviews, time killer, social connections, sales. I've learned my lesson that people on these sites don't really care. It's a sandbox. Some people play nice, some people cooperate, and some shit in it.

@jaguar: @simplyfelicity: what do you think about moving the "loss" subforum to a category other than pregnancy. That way if you want to use it you can still have pregnancy posts blocked? I'd love to talk with you ladies but I don't have infertility and feel weird posting in that forum

@Ms.Badger: @simplyfelicity: I think this is a wonderful idea. It's just too hard to wade through the pregnancy posts at the moment, when you're still processing the fact that you're NOT pregnant anymore!

@808love: I understand this completely. I still post on WB occasionally {Jag 4eva! haha} but they don't have a specific Loss forum, so I don't really fit in at the moment.

@jaguar: @simplyfelicity: Ok, I asked to have it moved to other. It was really nice to have the chronic care board when I was at that stage because I could just chat with people who knew what I was going through. Hopefully that forum can be similar.

When I was pregnant with my first, and then the first year of my first child I came for a lot of information/resources. Now that I have two, I still come for info, though not as much because everything isn't new to me. Mainly now I just get on after work, after the kids are asleep when I can.

Information, community, healing/emotional support, time filler, normalcy, some venting, entertainment, broaden perspectives and view other points of view.

Most of this is related to the IF boards. (I don't think I would be sane considering all the waiting I've done and still doing.) Some baby related because I'm pre-baby. Other non baby related posts or threads are to build friendship and feel normal or not normal (haha) with others.

For me, it's an information source, friendship community, and time filler.

When I was TTC, it definitely gave me a lot of support. It was a place to vent and talk to other women in the same/similar position.

Now I'd say I hang around here pretty casually. I like reading what others have to say. I like piping up when I feel I can share something. Sometimes I find some information that's useful/interesting. Sometimes it's just a way to fill some time.

I never really expected more from Hellobee myself.

@mrbee: if non parents without living children/not yet parents have suffered a loss and block parenting boards, that defeats the purpose. I think other might be more helpful.

For me it's an information resource, friendship community, gauge of normalcy, form of entertainment, venting outlet, and a time filler.

@mrbee: @Ms.Badger: Mr. Bee, I believe the idea is to have it moved to "other" or perhaps have its on category and have miscarriage etc within. Having just gone through two miscarriages, it's really difficult to have to weed through all the pregnancy (or parenting if it's moved) posts. I am definitely not asking for special treatment or anything and perhaps you have an even better idea.

It's a mix of community, time filler, gear recommendations, and entertainment for me.

The diaper backpack discussion a couple days ago cut down doing product searches to a half hour at best. I have a Ju Ju Be Right Back coming today. Seeing all of the recommendations made it an easy choice.

I also would support Loss (including Miscarriage, Family, Pets as a few possible subcategories) being its own board, rather than under Pregnancy or Parenting.

When I first joined, it was for TTC resources/support - also a place to talk about the TMI details of ttc that I wasn't comfortable talking about with friends in real life.
Still the same, but focus has shifted to pregnancy and newborn topics instead of ttc. It's also a lot more of a time filler for me now.

@Ms.Badger: @FliegepilzHut: I completely agree.