Hellobee Boards

How much more I would think about death was the biggest one, for me, not because I was depressed, but just because...shit got real, you know? Circle of life and all that.

That I am my biggest critic and she's my biggest fan.

In other words, cut yourself some slack and have fun.

It surprised me how hard it was to leave my babies, even for a night. I never understood parents who left for vacation and while on vacation said, "I miss my baby sooo much!!" because as a single person, I thought, "isn't it nice to get away once in awhile?!" - but after becoming a parent I 100% get it.

It surprised me how little I understood my mom's sacrifices (and my ungratefulness/selfishness growing up) until I became one.

It surprised me how much certain things (that have nothing to do with me - like things on the news or even movies that are fictional!) would affect me to the extreme because I'm seeing the world through a mom's eyes now.

@Silva: Yes! There is so so much more at stake now.

@Mae: I agree with being surprised that I don't feel like a walking zombie! Even after the rough nights, a few cups of coffee do the trick.

I have been surprised by how insecure I am. The only way I can describe my feelings on bad days is that I feel like my baby doesn't like me. I didn't know I'd take all the crying so personally.

@Mrs. Pen: yes! I don't wish for it back, for sure, but I wish I had appreciated it then. Someone has been depending on my body through breastfeeding or pregnancy, every day for two years. Walking out of the house without thinking about anyone else would feel so foreign at this point. But also lonely.

@Mrs. High Heels: OMG I had a "mother's helper" come the other morning. She kept talking about how tired she was and that she was going to take a nap in the afternoon. I just hope she remembers that when she has a newborn, haha.

@runnerd: I felt like that so much with my first. My second is more of a mama's boy. But it's so hard when you think being a mom = the person they want more than anything.

I also have this theory that it is harder to listen to your own baby cry. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me and I NEED to make it stop. I think it's biology. Other kids crying doesn't bother me. So maybe that's why it feels personal?

@Silva: this. I thought I was the only one. Death seems so much more real now. I think about her growing up without me or missing her wedding day...

I think I was most surprised by how amazing it feels to be her mom. It feels like a dream. I can't get over his perfect she is. People told me it was awesome, I always wanted to be a mom, but THIS? This is beyond my wildest dreams.

I'm amazed by how quickly it changes - day by day, week by week. Just when I think I've got it figured out, the game changes again and Im floundering! Just when I think I can't handle any more sleepless nights/feeding issues/teething, a switch is flipped and its all over - but the new phase has its own challenges! Its like being on a roller coaster.