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I would do this early, my sister in law had a similar issue - hands and toes and had surgeries. I feel like in general surgeries are easier on younger people and also this is something I would imagine most people would want fixed. Finally I wouldn’t want my lo to feel bad about something like this and feet are something that tend to be out

I’d do it at a young age.

In this case I would go ahead and do it at a young age. I have a cousin with the same issue who wishes so badly it was already corrected as she’s now scared of doing the surgery and she can’t really afford it.

If possible I might do it before they start walking, to ease how much of a hassle recovery will be.

I think it's great that you are really considering what your child would want in the future and being very thoughtful about it. As for me, I would do the surgery now. I can only think it would be a benefit to do this now (or before LO can walk) to make sure that they don't have to "relearn" to walk.

@Tanjowen: One other thing I'll say with regard to young kids and scary medical stuff is that looking back, I think it was easier for me (as the parent) having medically necessary but difficult/painful procedures done on my children when they were smaller than it has been as they've gotten older. For example, while it was very sad and scary to watch DD2 have an emergency spinal tap at 8 weeks old (!!), I honestly feel it was worse/harder for me, and had a longer term impact on her, when she had a broken arm set last year at three years old. At three she clearly knew what was happening, had a lot of anxiety about it, knew how to physically resist, could verbally shout at the doctor, and actually tried to bite him. She still talks about it when something jogs her memory of the experience a year later. As an infant, she fussed, but was soothed by nursing and cuddles, and (obviously and thankfully) remembers nothing about the experience now.

But all that said, I can absolutely understand why you'd be reluctant to decide something like this for your child, and think you're being very respectful to step back and consider your options this way before plunging ahead.

I have always been medically squeamish. I am much better about it now after experiencing pregnancy and L&D, but as a child and through early adulthood I really faced anything medical with severe dread.

I realize that it's easy to say that I might prefer to keep my fused toes intact if I'd been born that way. But if it is not complicated or risky surgery it seems like a no brainer that most people would want to have conventional feet. Sure it might technically be cosmetic but it's not like you are talking about a nose job. Sorry if that sounds insensitive, I am just trying to be direct.

So, from my 40yo perspective I think that by the time I might be have been old enough to desire conventional toes, I would have been scared shitless at the prospect of experiencing the surgery. I would probably have preferred having it done at an age before I would remember anything about the experience or have to confront my medical anxiety in a substantive way.

Is it all toes? I’m friends with someone whose 2.5 year old has their seconf two toes fused on each foot. No plans to get it corrected. Their second kid’s toes are all separated. I find it’s not noticeable unless you’re looking often.

To me, if it’s not in a very noticeable area and it’s not going to cause any issues I wouldn’t bother. For something on the face I would.

@Tanjowen: Just a perspective from someone who’s parents made this choice.

I was born with ears that stuck way out. My mom had this as a child as well and her parents didn’t do anything about it. As a result she was picked on a lot and ended up having the surgery to correct it at 16 years old. When I was born with the same thing my mom pushed hard for me to have the surgery when I was young to not have to deal with it. I had the surgery when I was around 4 and have very little memory of the surgery or recovery or any pain. The most traumatic part for me was having to have my ear re-pierced because one of the holes closed up during my recovery

I’m glad my parents took care of this before I was old enough to be self conscious about it or for other kids to tease.

I agree with everyone above who says do the procedure now as opposed to later.

@mrswin: I think insurance will actually cover taping back a kid's ears, even though it is something arguably cosmetic. Kids are cruel. I know an adult with ears that stick out and he wears his hair in a ridiculous over grown style specifically to cover his ears. This man is in his 60s.

Oh wow! I'm kind of shocked im in the minority on this. But I guess I'm today's world I get it. But I'd choose to not do surgery and teach lo it's fine, just a difference. And then I guess if lo wanted surgery later I'd be supportive but not a proponent.

My view could be skewed bc I had a friend who had this in college and he was cool with it and we were all cool with it... It wasn't an issue.

@agold: We are in Canada so I know that my parents only paid a minimal amount for the surgery and they were able to put tubes in for me at the same time...kids are incredibly cruel.

@Tanjowen: Since it is his toes it may not be as big of a deal since it is a lot less likely that kids would see them, but I would want some assurance from the Dr’s that it wouldn’t cause any issues playing sports later in life

@ElbieKay: Yes this! The only times I've ever been in the hospital was to give birth and both times I was pretty freaked out haha. Unless the taunting/pain was SO great, I probably would never elect to have the surgery myself so I'd probably appreciate my parents doing it for me when I was too young to remember!

Also, my 3yr old hates all doctors, so unless I had this done during the 1st year of her life, then I'm probably stuck.

Because kiddos start to remember things like pain after 2, I would opt to do it early to help not put them through the trauma of remembering the pain. They may be less apt to being able to pick at the wounds at a young age as well.

I grew up with an eyelid that is different than the other. I know my parents would have done anything to fix it (and I have surgeries a few times because it bled) but nothing can be done as it's all have to with the blood vessels around the eye. People still asked me today what happened. Most don't notice because I wear glasses (my DH didn't notice it the first time he saw me) ... so if it was my child, I see no benefits in waiting unless it's a money/insurance issue. Yes, I agree it's less visible but what about when they go to the beach, pool. It seems to be easily corrected.
Please follow your guts. Mama knows best.