Hellobee Boards

@bluestriped bee: This particular election season is tough because it isnt just your usual liberal/conservative issues. Regardless of which side you are on somethings are just right or wrong but thats all blurred this year. I dont have any good advice for you though

I have this problem too. My in-laws are conservative republicans who are pretty much against everything I am for. It gets so frustrating whenever we talk about politics. I don't initiate these conversations, but I get sucked in through group chats or when we see them. My father-in-law is a lawyer, and he loves to argue/debate. I personally don't, but I feel like I have to defend my beliefs. My husband thinks I shouldn't engage him, and I should either ignore him (on the group chat) or change the subject (when we're in person), but that's easier said than done. I don't have advice, but I can relate to what you're going through.

I turn the other cheek and ignore, ignore, ignore. It's very hard sometimes.

I live in a very "right" sided community and I swing pretty left. I've learned to hold my tongue (especially around those who don't educate themselves and just spout off Fox News findings) because it's best to not get into an argument. If someone asks me I give my honest opinion, but i'm always outnumbered and have learned less is more in most discussions regarding politics.

Uh, my dad is voting for Trump, so yeah. Luckily, my parents live 600 miles away so I can easily ignore the craziness, but we are renting a beach house with my parents and siblings in a few weeks and I know that there will be conflict. I'd rather not discuss it, but my dad CANNOT stfu about it, and I am too passionate about it to let him spew...lets be nice and call it nonsense. Needless to say, I feel you.

We are on completely the other side of things politically from my in-laws. And they are unwavering and unable to have rational conversations about it.

I grew up with racism in my own family. I learned from a very early age that you can love someone deeply, even if they have a completely different view of the world. This ability has helped me my whole life.

That being said, I unfollow all my in-law's posts on Facebook so they don't turn up on my newsfeed. When politics is brought up in face-to-face conversation (they usually spout out some hatred and assume I will agree), I just say, "Well, we see things differently. Let's talk about something else." When my father in law says something racist, I either don't react at all, because sometimes I think he does it to look for a reaction, or I say "I don't like that kind of talk around LO. You're talking about her friends and auntie and teachers." And he stops.

Basically, just shut it down but don't engage in conversation.

It depends on the content. My family doesn't do social media and keep our opinions to ourselves (we're all fairly moderate anyway with some fiscal conservatism here and there), but my husband's family is a little more prone to broadcasting their opinions.

DH shared an article from NPR and got a ton of follow-up articles from no-name spam websites from my MIL about NPR being totally biased against anyone in the GOP. She was "genuinely concerned that you are listening to the liberal media" and thought he should be reading more drudge report and getting a Fox News live feed installed in his brain I guess.

In general, we tend not to say anything and just avoid the subject, because we know they are irrational, but if something goes over the line with hatred/xenophobia/racism etc., we make a comment about the ridiculousness of their 'facts' and/or sources and that we are teaching our child to love and respect others regardless of whatever others think.

I try not to be drawn into debates and tend to put things in "well, personally, I think the one with less lies would be more trustworthy" and leave them to ponder whether that means I agree with them or not. Then I distract them with a conversation about their grandkids or parenting philosophies. Works pretty consistently.

I mostly try to ignore it, or unfollow if it's on social media. The only exception was one year at Christmas when my brother was going on about gays being sinful, should not be allowed to marry, and so forth. The only reason I said something is that another (religious) relative was sitting there who I'm pretty sure is in the closet, and I didn't want him to think that everyone in his family thinks gays are evil. He's always lived in a very, very conservative area where I seriously doubt anyone has ever said anything positive about the LGBTQ community. He would never want to come out, which I totally respect, but I just wanted to say something positive. It didn't go particularly well...I think I just made said relative feel like he had to argue on my brother's side. I really don't know the best way to show support in this kind of situation.

@magnoliamama42: I love your approach. I grew up with racism also and struggle with how to shut my father down without causing a major scene. I tend to react with anger, which only escalates the situation.