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Yes. But DH is out of town Monday-Thursday so he gets breaks Mon, Tues, and Wed evenings after work while I'm essentially a single parent for 3.5 days. So I think it is totally fair to give myself a break when he gets home Thursday evenings!

When DH gets home on the days that I don't work. He will normally go and change into something comfy, throw the ball in the back yard for the dogs for a little bit, and then take over playing with DD until dinner is ready. We eat together, then he plays with her after dinner while I clean up. We have a little bit of family time, then she goes down.

DH and I don't get personal downtime until DS is in bed for the night at 730pm. We never talked about it, its just the way its always been.

Basically, when DH walks in the door, he's Dad. Some days DH doesn't even get to change out of his work clothes before he's "on." I need a few minutes without the toddler to get dinner on the table or load the dishwasher and so DH usually takes over distracting DS until I'm ready. Then DH is in charge of bathtime, PJs, and bedtime books while I run around wiping down the kitchen, setting up for the next day, and running laundry, etc.

But I don't see this as a break for me, I see it as team parenting until DS is down for the night, then each of us can do what we want.

Neither of us takes a break on the reg. I mean, right now we both WOH, but even on summer break when I'm home, he generally comes home and jumps right in. We typically divide and conquer--we each take one girl and do whatever it takes to get them in bed asleep.

But my DH gets home later, around 7 pm, just in time for the bath/bed rush. Maybe if he was home at 4:15, we would try to take breaks? I don't know.

You guys could do an every-other-day thing.

I would say that you should get a few minutes to yourself as a break right when he gets home (let the man pee first or something) and his can follow after you've had maybe 20-30 minutes to yourself. That's what I ask for if I'm home with H all day.

I get a break to go to the bathroom alone. Inevitably my three year old has to gorightthentoo!!
Not much of a break.

He walks in the door right before dinner (6). So, he usually runs upstairs and changes, and then we eat as a family. Right after dinner, he bathes the kids and I start cleaning up from dinner. He puts T to bed and I usually put R to bed. R takes no time, so then I run downstairs and finish cleaning up....then make lunches for next day. By that time, both kids are asleep. I usually shower and then we relax for an hour before we go to bed. That's the evening. No real break, but c'est la vie.

If he gets home early, he'll usually play with the boys while I'm already cooking. He very rarely gets home before I'm prepping dinner, so I don't get a break anyways.

I don't think that him hanging with the kids while you cook dinner or do laundry is a break for you!! If your "break" is you still working, he can't really say he needs some downtime first IMO

Yup, though I'm sleeping for most of it! DH gets home at 6:30 am and the kids wake up sometime between then and 7. So he will get them as they wake up and let me sleep for another hour or so.

He gets to change and go to the bathroom, then the kids are his to either take to the gym or take outside to play. I'm either cooking dinner or cooking dinner and rushing to work and doing lesson prep, so he doesn't expect much from me during that time of day. He gets more time to himself if I don't have to work and we are going out to dinner that night.

I SAH. When my husband gets home I'd say 75% of the time DS is still awake. He'll usually take 10 mins to change and use the bathroom/freshen up. Then the 3 of us hang during dinner and bedtime. (DS dinner, we eat separately). But every so often I need to run an errand or just chill and he'll oblige.
I think for us we realized that if things are really assigned it starts to feel too much like a task and we feel resentful. So each day we sort of gauge who needs what and do as much as we can together and let it happen organically. If he had a really bad day at work I'm fine just letting him veg a while longer. If DS was particularly challenging he'll tell me to go relax and he'll do everything from dinner to bath to bedtime. We really speak up!
BUT we both get lots of downtime once DS is in bed which is often by 6:30, always by 7pm. And my husband is often only home for 30 mins or less before bedtime so he gladly steps in. So I think neither of us feels too deprived.
I think if we both felt we needed downtime and weren't getting it, we would designate a certain night each week to be off duty. Or, it sounds like your DH gets home kinda early. I'd maybe let him have till 5/5:15 by himself and then ask for him to step in so I could take a breather while dinner is simmering/baking/etc. (I don't cook much so I don't know if that's even possible). Or ask him to def take over bedtime or bath and chill then.
It sounds like you guys have already broached the subject, so I would try to have a conversation. I'd say "we both deserve and need some time off. Let's figure out a solution that works for everyone" and maybe brainstorm ideas. Figure out how much time is enough. Where can that time fit. Is he willing to take on more some days for a payout of more free time other days. Etc.
Hope this makes sense since I'm on phone typing quickly!

On nights DH works he doesn't get home until 7:30 so no break for me, if DD is still in bedtime routine he will take over so he can see her for a few!
If he is off, then when I get off work he will cook and I keep DD entertained but he will then do bed time as I xaken and start my shower!

The only way it works for us is for neither of us to get a break while our son is awake. To me, cooking or folding laundry is not a break, though.

We tried to switch off days and it never worked, my son had preferences, etc.

DH gets really dirty at work so he comes in and spend about 5 minutes saying hi to DD before he takes a shower. I selfishly wish he didn't have to take a shower because even though it's only 20 minutes, it can be rough -- DD is getting hangry (as am I!) and we're both anxious to hangout with DH.

After he's out of the shower he's usually "on duty" while I make dinner, although I go out and play with them when I can. After dinner we both play with her until her bedtime ~90 minutes later. DH goes to bed shortly after (long and early work hours), so he doesn't always get a ton of alone time, but he usually plays on his phone to decompress in bed for a while before falling asleep. I usually stay up until 10 or 11 so I have plenty of time to myself!