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Nope - my rule is if you are full you may get down but the next thing you do eat will be the rest of your dinner.

Usually at 7:15 I am reheating dinner and then they ask for a snack right after.

No, I think it could set them up for an unhealthy relationship with food to make them eat beyond when they feel full. Now, if they serve themselves and suffer from "my eyes are bigger than my stomach" syndrome, I won't hesitate to suggest maybe they should take less next time and can always get seconds. But I won't make them clean their plates!

No; I don't think it sets healthy examples or sets them up to have a healthy relationship with food. My in-laws did this with my husband growing up and he battles it to this day - his instinct is to eat everything on his plate, without thinking about how hungry he really is. So easy to overeat that way when you get older.

But, we also won't have dessert/treats available every night either, and I don't want to set up dessert as a reward for eating.

I won't force him to eat or to clean his plate. I think that's a mentality from the 50s that's not very healthy. He will be expected to stay at the table though; you can't get up and go play because you don't to sit still at dinner and then be hungry later. If I really feel like he hasn't eaten enough I'll put his plate in the fridge for later. No trying to not eat dinner and skip to dessert.

Nope. We start with very small portions to avoid waste. He doesn't eat it all we put it away and offer it later if he says he is hungry. We also don't bribe with treat kind of foods.

For what it's worth, my husband was made to always clean his plate, and you can really see the impact it's had on him. He is completely incapable of leaving food, no matter how full he is, and it's a big part of why he struggles with his weight.

Nope. But you do have to remain seated at the table until everyone is done and you won't be able to fill up on junk or sweets afterwards.
And I'm certainly not making a second dinner if you don't like what we're having.

No way. If they didn't eat, no dessert/treats/other snacks. If you're hungry again you may finish your dinner. If I honestly believe that she stopped when she was full, then if we are having something special later she can totally have some. I want to encourage her to listen to her body.

Yes, whatever I give #1 to eat in his bowl, he must finish. Whatever he chooses to add in addition to what I gave him, he must finish. He doesn't get to choose what he wants to eat and not finish what I originally put in his bowl. We don't have snacks or treats after dinner. Over time, I can judge how much he should be able to consume for dinner to not feel hungry for a snack between dinner and bed time. We had tried the whole saving your dinner for later if you get hungry later but we snip that and said, if you don't eat dinner, you don't eat at all.

No! DH's stepmom and dad are a stickler about this and, while they enforce it with my nephews, we don't let them enforce it with C. I had to make kind of a joke of it when I was pregnant because they as previously always commented when I didn't clean my plate (not how I was raised) and I was tired of it. DH and I both think it creates an unhealthu view of eating. My dad is almost 60 and just now able to break this habit after his depression-era grandparents instilled it in him.

That being said, we also do not do after dinner snacks and no dessert, because lazy. C has learned to eat til she's full and is very good, even at 2, of knowing when she's full and will tell us all done. I think that skill is far more important than cleaning your plate.

ETA: typos! Sorry about that, too much of a pain to fix on my phone.

@chopstixwife: can I ask what motivated this decision for you? It's always interesting to hear what impacts a person's decision, to me at least.

@jessibear: As his mom, I know he's not eating enough. He use to be a great eater. As he got older, he would whine/fight us at dinner time about eating saying he's not hungry blah blah blah...I didn't want him to get to the point of where he doesn't sit at dinner with us and the constant asking for food/snacks before bedtime. Structure is very important to my husband and eating together at the table as a family every night (at least 4-5 times a week) is important to me. As the eldest son, I want him to set an example and didn't want his younger brothers learning bad behavior such as if you whine enough, you won't have to sit at the table, not finish your dinner, etc. We don't force him to over eat because I give him the minimal amount of rice that I think he should have and then I add meat and veggies to his bowl, which isn't much (his younger brother eats more). Usually, he'll add more meat and sometimes veggies, but I always remind him, that he must finish what he takes and what I originally put in his bowl before he can leave the table. At 4.5 years old, he says to me "mom give me only a small amount of rice, you gave me too much rice/food for school, etc". Take for instance, Friday nights are movie nights, he finishes his dinner and can still finish a whole bag of popcorn if we let him.

@sunny: I'm on your side. When they're older? Sure, I'll let them decide. But right now that toy on the floor is way more enticing than the food on the table. I don't make separate meals for my toddler, we don't do desserts. She tells me so often "I'm full!" Or "I don't like this". I know her appetite and I know she's not even borderline full. She loves what's on her plate and always has. At this age it's my job to make sure she's fed a healthy meal.
I hate hate hate waste. My bIL loads his daughters plates with enough food to feed my husband and I combined and his girls have the appetite of a bird. I won't and don't do that! I think if you only give them what they can eat there's no reason why they can't clear a plate.

Anyway, that's my philosophy but of course it doesn't always work with a toddler. There are nights she doesn't have a appetite and I can tell and respect that. But I will absolutely encourage her to eat a tad more. When she is full she flat out refuses to eat any more. But when she isn't she will eat more.

I grew up being taught to finish the food in my bowl, I'm chinese so we always ate family style. I have no eating issues. I certainly don't want to create eating issues that lead to overeating but there's a flip side as well.

No.

@chopstixwife: I agree that encouraging kids to eat some more when they're saying they're full just to get up from the table is sometimes necessary. And encouraging kids to be mindful not to waste anything, especially food, is important. For us, we choose to instill these good habits and manners without making it about cleaning your plate. At least that's what we're hoping to accomplish. Thanks for sharing.

Same as you, Bao. My dad used to make me sit at the table until my plate was clear. I used to wrap up the food i disliked (does anyone really like overcooked, soggy, unseasoned broccoli or green beans? Sorry, mom...) in a napkin and put it in my pocket, then flush it down the toilet.

No. I have bad memories with that as a child and I have an unhealthy relationship with food now and I won't do it to T. I encourage him to eat more if he stops just to make sure he IS full (he's only 12 months) but when he's full he's full.

No. I usually have a variety of food on their plate and don't expect them to eat it all. I mainly want them to try a bite of everything on their plate. FIL assumes that LO has to eat everything I pack, which is a lot. I need to address that issue.

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