Take your sick child away from you for the day to let you rest if you are sick?
T is almost over HFM but one of her sores got infected. So she's on antibiotics. And has a open spot on her hand to keep an eye on. She also has small sores in her mouth but no fever. Last week she was also diagnosed with croup. I have bronchitis. DH will be out of town for business.
I'll fill in the rest of the details in a bit. Just curious what your gut reaction is.
113 votes
nectarine / 2987 posts
My MIL, no my mother or aunts, probably under those circumstances, yes.
honeydew / 7622 posts
@MrsSRS: I should have said any caregiver who has watched your child alone before.
nectarine / 2987 posts
@youboots: Well, I would let MIL sit, but she doesn't listen to me or pay attention to details, so it has to be a healthy kid who won't need anything except playtime. It sounds like your LO is on the mend. So, with someone you trust to watch details, sure. Especially because bronchitis is miserable and can linger and resting will help you heal.
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
Yes, I would. My healthy MIL would probably take better care of my DD than I would if I was super sick, so it would be a win win for everyone.
nectarine / 2242 posts
Yes definitely! My LO just had HFM and Croup too and we are dying for a break!! I'd gladly let her take him so we could rest, even if we weren't also feeling crappy. Good luck and hope you get some relief soon!
honeydew / 7622 posts
I said no. No one has ever driven T besides us and uninstalling and reinstalling the car seat several times would be a pain. Everything is here- meds, food, toys, etc. I also want her sleeping in her own bed- anywhere else she does nap well. Also they are in the middle of a home remodel and have 5 other grandkids to consider (including a 2 month old)- germs. We asked her to come over here. It's 2x as much driving and such a pain to communicate everything to her to take T to her house. She kept insisting so I had DH call her and tell her no. I guess that she was so insistent is what irked me. So she's coming over here. But the whole thing gave me a weird vibe. She's my kid I want her sick in her own home. ETA she's 16 months. I wanted to check myself to see if I'm being unreasonable/protective but I guess that's my prerogative.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I would, but I really like and trust my MIL. My only concern would be both my girls are super attached to me especially when sick, so I would feel bad that they want me when they don't feel well. I think my MIL, or my mom, would do a better job taking care of them than a very sick me would. As long as T is happy with your MIL, I would do it. If you don't get some rest this sickness will just longer and not get better. That's worse for everyone.
coconut / 8472 posts
Yes, if my MIL had watched DS alone before, I totally would. I'm useless when I'm sick. I honestly don't see much of a downside.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
My particular MIL no, but if th criteria were someone that I and my child are comfortable with, who has also watched them alone before then yes. Especially if my LO was on the mend.
pomegranate / 3904 posts
I'd have my mom take care of L here, I agree with your logic. Also, definitely don't want to expose other kids, especially babies.
pear / 1503 posts
Nope, for several reasons we haven't felt comfortable having MIL watch LO. I definitely wouldn't leave him with her while sick. My mom, definitely, my SIL or BIL, definitely, or some other relatives, maybe.
apricot / 431 posts
@youboots: I would be the same as you. I'd want her in her own home so she could be comfortable and so I could keep an eye on her.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I'd be fine with that and welcome the help but it's certainly your perogative since it's your kid. It is to help you and if you don't feel it's a help then, saying no thanks is the right option.
grapefruit / 4321 posts
Given that it's someone I and my LO are comfortable with, then yes. In my case my MIL is not that person. But I can think of people who are. If I trust someone to watch my kid at all, then I have a level of trust where I would feel comfortable with them to handle medicine and sickness, etc. The only hesitation would be if I felt my LO would be more comforted by me.
watermelon / 14467 posts
My mom, yes, absolutely. Not my MIL. It's not that I don't feel comfortable, it's that my FIL is immunocompromised due to black lung and if he gets so much as a cold, he ends up in the hospital.
grapefruit / 4361 posts
Our dr told us grandparents tend to get HFM pretty badly due to not having any natural immunity. But I'm not sure of your child is still contagious...?
I'd rather the care giver come over to the house to help out for 5-6 hours a day.
pineapple / 12053 posts
I think I'd rather them come to me so I could rest but be available if LO needed me.
persimmon / 1322 posts
No, I would not. Aside from the fact that I wouldn't trust my mil to follow my specific instructions, I wouldn't want my daughter to have to deal with travel time, being away from home, and not napping well while she was trying to get well herself. And I can totally see why you were irked at her being so insistent about it. You made a judgment call, and it's absolutely your call.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
If DD had stayed with her before, and presumably MIL's house were all set up for her to stay there, then hell yes I would jump on it.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
I would appreciate her coming to my house to help so I could rest, but I wouldn't let her take the children out or to her house. I prefer them with me when they are sick.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I would. But I've also come to realize I've hit the jackpot in terms of inlaws.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@youboots: are you feeling any better? I hope
MIL was able To come over and help without overstepping and you got some rest. With other kids in the picture I would want to keep LO separated, for their protection from her germs, and to keep her from picking anything else up. I really hope you got some good rest. It's so hard to get better when you don't get a break.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
Just for the day? Probably.... Although lo is very clingy with me when she's sick so maybe not if she wasn't feeling well. Overnight no, lo hasn't spent the night away from both of us at the same time yet
grapefruit / 4988 posts
No, but only because my LO gets easily carsick and my MIL lives an hour away, so it seems terribly unfair to make a sick kiddo sit in the car so long. I'd be happy to have her watch LO at our house though.
nectarine / 2951 posts
It might be nice for you to get a break. If you are nervous, can she stay with you and help you at your house?
My mil comes weekly and it is so helpful!
honeydew / 7622 posts
Thanks everyone for chiming in. She's coming over today. No more fever or body aches just a nasty cough.
I realized if it were an older child that did not nap and really understood what was going on I'd be fine with it. But my sweet girl is still a baby at 16 months and I want to be nearby. MIL does well with her. Since T seems ok I don't trust MIL not to take her places 'just real quick' or feed her food she should not be eating. I'm sure it will be fine her being so demanding was really weird to me- especially since they are remodeling.
persimmon / 1445 posts
I would not do this even with my own mom (who is our usually caregiver and who I trust as much as I trust myself), much less my MIL who has a habit of not listening to my instructions. If my kids are sick, they need to be in their own bed with their own mommy to comfort them. If someone wants to help out-great, they can come over to my house. Sick kids don't need to be in the car, changing up their routine, or risk being exposed to other germs ( or exposing people to what they have).
pineapple / 12566 posts
Initially, I said yes. But when you added the details of the current situation, I thought it would be better for her to come over. My main concern was T exposing the other grandkids to HFM.
grapefruit / 4418 posts
Yes, but my Inlaws watch DD 3x a week, have all the stuff, she's used to being there, etc. ETA - only if DD was ok good. If she wanted to stay home then I of course would keep her so I could comfort her.
nectarine / 2220 posts
My MIL specifically, no.
But my dad is my go to person to pick our daughter up or keep her home while I work if she's too sick to go to daycare. I'm sure he'd be willing if I was too sick to manage her as well.
honeydew / 7622 posts
It went well but she watches T fairly often. I hired a babysitter for 3 1/2 days from a family I know here in town and they are doing great. I just took an hour nap.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Sure. She's great with the kids and she's a nurse, so she could handle it.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I'd ask her to come over instead. My mom did that for me many times... One time she got sick too and I felt SO bad!
pomelo / 5621 posts
Hope you are both feeling better.
I first said yes, but when I read the details my answer changed to no. Glad she came to you.
honeydew / 7622 posts
Well explained that T is still contagious via saliva. She let T drink out of both of our waterbottles. Then she took her on a walk- I said not to take her around other kids. I found out later she put her on a swing (!!!) face, palm.
I think I have a cracked rib from coughing so hard. M is in NY for 5 days. It's not going well.
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