https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 21:36:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/finally-forever#post-2906602 Fri, 20 Dec 2019 12:20:38 +0000 Costello 2906602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two years, eight months and three days ago, we were made aware of a precious little soul on his way into the world. Today, we are “officially” his forever! ❤️ </p> [attach=2296/19/q2tmue.600x480.A320FC6B-84FE-423A-B090-1B849B9FD8A7.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/court-tomorrow#post-2902415 Wed, 13 Nov 2019 15:36:56 +0000 Costello 2902415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tomorrow, we ask the court to appoint us legal guardians of our son. This is the last step before finalization of our adoption. It will also be the first time in this journey that we will be officially tied to our little guy. Throughout all of this, I have always looked only to the positives. But, for a brief moment last night, I let my mind wander to what could have happened. I immediately thought about whether he would remember us if he had been taken from us. The idea of him not remembering is devastating. Because, I will never forget the last two and half years and how this one amazing, funny, smart little mister has changed my everything. Now, only good thoughts for tomorrow! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inching-closer-to-finalization#post-2893599 Mon, 05 Aug 2019 13:04:00 +0000 Costello 2893599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure if anyone remembers our story but thought I would update just in case. After over two years, our road to finalization appears to be getting close to the end. We found out today our son’s birth mom signed the affidavit to surrender her parental rights and the public notices for birth dad and legal dad have started running in his birth state! Next step, we will be headed to court where the judge decides the degree to which a home study is necessary, if at all. While we have considered ourselves his parents since the day he was born, it is highly likely we will be deemed his legal parents before the end of the year! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-i-need-for-a-two-year-old-girl#post-2869838 Thu, 31 Jan 2019 11:06:44 +0000 Mosmith 2869838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just found out that we will be taking care of a two year old girl for a few months and I have no idea what I need or what to feed her. Help please! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858284 Sun, 25 Nov 2018 13:35:40 +0000 LAZB 2858284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whether or not we are able to have another biological child, we have talked about international adoption. My SIL (brother’s wife), and SIL and BIL (dh’s Siblings) were all adopted domestically, so it’s a distant consideration, but I have known several families that have been heartbroken by domestic adoption, so right now we are preferring international.<br /> We aren’t 100% going to do it, but we talk about it a lot.<br /> Any idea where to start looking? Reputable agencies? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-day#post-2857696 Tue, 20 Nov 2018 15:03:02 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2857696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did it! Born 11/3/15, placed 7/21/16, adopted 11/19/18. </p> [attach=5595/18/piid12.519x600.received_210573563173383-01.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2828993 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 11:02:15 +0000 Sams Mom 2828993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Through a chain of events this weekend, my husband and I have been presented with the idea of taking guardianship of a semi-distant cousin of mine. She is nearly 8, her mom is a garbage human being that should have no chance of regaining custody of her. </p> <p>My question is, have any of you taken guardianship of a relative. She is old enough to know where she's coming from and who we are to her. She has had some trauma in her life, and I know therapy is most likely a given. She is a sweet girl, but I also know that there could be a lot going on under the surface. We have a 2yo son, and have been ttc #2 for 15 cycles now. I know nothing about raising little girls, but I'm 1 of 3 girls and my parents will be a great resource for us if this ends up happening. </p> <p>Another thing I'm torn about is she has 2 brothers, we can't take on 3 more kids on top of our own. She is expected to supervise and take care of her brothers even though she is the middle child... and only 7 years old. Will we even be able to take just her, is it wrong that I only want to take her?</p> <p>I just know we can provide her with an exponentially better life than the one she is on track for at the moment. She will be able to have a childhood, we will love her as our own, she'll have great schools to go to, we can provide her with everything she needs and a lot of what she wants. </p> <p>I don't know why I posted, I just am hoping to find someone that can recommend any literature, or commiserate with me, or offer advice of any sort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/calling-all-moms-of-8-yo-girls#post-2838135 Mon, 06 Aug 2018 10:31:02 +0000 Sams Mom 2838135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I have a possible time line for getting my cousin, it's looking like a couple months from now we could be picking her up. </p> <p>I know it will be hard for her coming into the school year late in a new place... but this seems to be the least of my worries. </p> <p>My parenting experience to date is my son a nearly 2 1/2 year old little boy. I don't know what to expect at all, I think I am better prepared for all of the bad that can happen from her life experiences to date, but know nothing about the day to day. Like what is the normal growing pains of having a girl this age? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/checking-in-1#post-2808838 Fri, 09 Mar 2018 17:51:15 +0000 Costello 2808838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello! It has been awhile since my last update and I thought a quick post was due for those who have been supporting us. We are still in legal limbo but our little guy just turned 9 months! It has been such a pleasure watching him grow and acquire new skills. He is still an easygoing little soul with a quick smile and the brightest eyes. Even though our adoption story has not been easy and is far from over, this has been the greatest adventure of our lives. I would do it all again a thousand times over. :heart: </p> [attach=2296/18/p5ci5g.426x600.3D569056-F949-4A0E-B1BA-CD221398C8C7.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-huge-step-forward#post-2806401 Mon, 26 Feb 2018 19:01:25 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2806401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I'm not sure where this should go, but I wanted to let everyone who has been following our case know that we took a huge step forward today in court. Nothing is final as we have a long appeals process coming up, but today was a big day and it went in O's favor. HUGE sigh of relief. I can't believe we've made it this far. I'm going to post this photo here for a few hours, then probably take it down. But you should all see how big and healthy this little girl has gotten.</p> <p>[attach=5595/18/p4s87n.400x600.oliviaferris.jpg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-the-universe-trying-to-tell-us-something#post-2727279 Fri, 21 Apr 2017 08:46:41 +0000 Costello 2727279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our plan has always been to adopt. Long ago, we decided a baby was probably not part of the plan. We have started and stopped pursuing adoption through foster care several times and decided to put expanding our family on hold two weeks ago. Then, randomly out of the blue, I received a box full of formula and bottles in the mail. We had a big laugh over that! Three days ago, a friend of a friend's friend reached out looking for a good home for her baby, due in about a month. Amazingly enough, despite a number of pretty serious barriers, everything seems to be falling into place and I am optimistic we may be bringing a baby home soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749517 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 23:38:00 +0000 Amorini 2749517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sad, sad story 😭...an effed-up cousin and his effed-up girlfriend are addicts. She used hard drugs during pregnancy 😭😭😭 and their baby was rightfully taken from them and placed with the baby's grandma, my aged aunt. The baby is now four months and the parents stopped coming around. The mom was found using again shortly thereafter, violated court orders and is onto serving multiple sentences. It will be years before she is out and she has lost all rights. Same for the dad, my cousin, who is just freaking useless. Good riddance, or in DH's words: parents like that should be left in a deep cave... </p> <p>Unfortunately the whole thing is so hard on my aunt who has full custody and is hardly surviving the trials of raising an infant especially under these circumstances. The baby is healthy but has some mild effects of being born under the influence. Time will tell. My aunt is slowly coming to realize that she is struggling (she deals with bouts of depression) and has started to talk about putting the baby up for adoption, if she could remain a grandmother to the child. She lives in a rural area and isn't really aware of resources for this kind of thing and frankly I am to starting from scratch, too, to help her (from afar and with the help of my mom, her sister).</p> <p>DH and I have talked about whether we could adopt the child as our own. Our DS is 8 months so the timing is difficult, among other challenges, but this little one is part of my extended family and deserves what my boy has -- boundless love forever and ever. It just pains me for this sweet innocent one. After several conversations, we arrive at the same conclusions: we just don't think we can do right by DS or this little one, with them being so close in age, having two in daycare, having two parents with demanding jobs, and generally already feeling the strains of one LO on our marriage. One is probably where we are going to stop...(insert my IF baggage here). There are other family members who are in better positions to step in, but no one has done so yet.</p> <p>I know that there are amazing would-be parents that would walk through fire to adopt. I want so bad for them to find this little one. ❤️😭❤️<br /> Any and all adoption insight and resources to provide my aunt are appreciated. And any further suggestions on doing what I can to advocate for this child from afar would be helpful too. Basically just anything helps, including generous thoughts and prayers for the child. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-through-foster-care#post-2664336 Mon, 12 Dec 2016 14:46:33 +0000 bubblegum 2664336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have mentioned before on this site that DH and I really would love to adopt through foster care in the future. I think it is a beautiful thing to give a child the love and care they deserve and I would love to be able to do so. It has always been something we said we would like to do when our children are older. DS is 2 and a half and I'm currently pregnant. But for some reason I feel pulled to do something now, start the process. Am I crazy?! </p> <p>I just want to know if anyone here has gone through the process and can shed some light on it. I really appreciate it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-love-a-mrs-turtle-update#post-2667567 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:26:21 +0000 RonjaL7 2667567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know it must be hard because everyone is busy, but I'm dying for an update from Mrs. Turtle. Anyone know if she will be active posting again soon? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594833 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 18:54:12 +0000 magnolia 2594833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only know of a few HB families who have adopted or are fostering children.</p> <p>I'm curious if anyone out there is interested in adoption, and whether or not you already have a biological child by birth.</p> <p>We have our DS who is 19 months. I would like to give him a sibling, and for many reasons I am considering adoption. </p> <p>Any one with experience please share, including bees who were adopted. Or have adopted siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-irl-friends-or-family-that-have-adopted-a-childchildren#post-2588362 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:45:00 +0000 BSB 2588362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know a family friend that has one adopted daughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-gift#post-2568737 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 09:17:20 +0000 raspberries 2568737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Any advice on what to give a family celebrating the adoption of their daughter through foster-to-adopt?</p> <p>Long story short: The adoption will be finalized soon and they are having a party to celebrate. We'll be out of town, so I'd like to send them all a little congratulations card/gift. They've fostered the little girl since birth, so it's not like they need baby supplies or anything like that - any insight on what's appropriate to send?</p> <p>ETA: The little girl will have just turned 13 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-warrior-nika#post-2490787 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:20:45 +0000 Kimberlybee 2490787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Read this heartwarming adoption story when you have time and keep the tissues close by. </p> <p><a href="http://www.littlewarriornika.com/about-2/" rel="nofollow">http://www.littlewarriornika.com/about-2/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-for-writing-a-letter-of-reference-for-my-friends-adoption#post-2478692 Mon, 29 Feb 2016 14:46:56 +0000 catlady 2478692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I have some close friends that have gone through hell while TTC and have recently decided to purse adoption. They've asked us to write them a letter of recommendation for their homestudy. I know that our letter will be a tiny part but I want to give them the best possible chance of having everything go well. Does anyone have any tips? I am not familiar with the adoption process and I definitely want to avoid anything that could hurt their chances. They are amazing people and have been wanting a child for a very long time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-with-a-10-day-waiting-period-wwyd#post-2473696 Thu, 25 Feb 2016 08:41:45 +0000 mediagirl 2473696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was reading an article today that said in the state where I live, there is a 10 day waiting period after the birth of a child for the birth parents to change their mind. Adoptive parents have the choice of taking the baby home immediately and possibly having the birth parents change their mind and take the baby back. Or, they could have a temporary foster home take the baby for those 10 days and if the 10 days passes without incident, then take their baby home. Then if the birth parents change their minds, you are not attached. </p> <p>So, what would you do? If you were adopting a newborn and the parents had a 10 day window to change their minds, would you take the baby home immediately or let someone else care for the baby until you are "sure" that baby is going to be your child? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-work-offer-assistance#post-2358643 Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:38:39 +0000 LuLu Mom 2358643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had our benefits meeting today and they touched on our adoption assist program. I had no idea such a think existed, but think its a fabulous way to help out those families who need financial assistance in growing their family! Does your work offer a match/dotation/assistance? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-adoption#post-2289063 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 18:46:14 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2289063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all. As some of you probably know, my partner and I have been TTC for the last year using donor sperm. We've had our share of adventures, doctors appointments and tests. We've used two methods (at home AI and IUI with a midwife) and have had a fair amount of testing done (bloodwork, ultrasound, HSG, more bloodwork, semen analysis) and everything comes back normal. We have spent A LOT of money so far, with no resulting BFPs all year. I just wrote the last of the checks to pay off the medical bills I've incurred since February. I'm not into doctors anyway. Until all of this started I hadn't been to a doctor in many years. The process has been difficult, to say the least, and draining for us both. We could (and might) continue trying IUIs with our very patient and willing donor, but we've started talking about other options at this point. We briefly discussed IVF. Given our location (rural) and the fact that the closest IVF clinic is over 4 hours away, and the fact that the idea of more doctor's visits and tests and hormones makes me feel nauseated, we've decided that for now we will not pursue IVF. </p> <p>So...to get to the point, we've started talking about adoption. We don't have a lot of extra money and the idea of spending 30-40 grand on this is pretty much impossible. We're looking into adopting through the foster program, although we are very sure that we want an infant, at least for our first, so that might be hard. I know it's do-able sometimes, and maybe some of you have some insight into this. We are meeting with a social worker from a local foster family agency on Monday to get an idea of how it would work in our county. We have also looked into funding options for domestic adoption. It seems that there are a few grants available for couples wanting to adopt. One specifically is requesting more LGBT couples, so that might be our first shot. </p> <p>I have tons of questions. I don't have any experience with adoption or know anyone well in real life who has adopted. I am afraid of the logistics, mostly. How does it all work? How do you take family leave from work when often the adoptions are fairly short notice? How in the world do we go about getting a home study in our rural county? One adoption agency that specializes in LGBT adoptions says you have to have a home study before you start the application process. I don't know how to find someone up here to do a home study and I'm assuming the one the foster agency would do isn't equivalent? Or is it? </p> <p>Like I said, tons of questions. I'd love to hear from some of you who have personal experience in this area. It's very new to me and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it all. I do have to say, though, that the idea of trying something new, and either taking a break or stopping TTC, or at least taking a more relaxed approach to it, sounds really fantastic right now.</p> <p>Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-tell-or-not-tell#post-2296949 Mon, 21 Sep 2015 09:39:05 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2296949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the most part adoption has been a normal thing in my life. I've had friends who were adopted and distinctly remember when neighbors brought home their baby after suffering a loss. So, when an associate casually mentioned her 7 years old was a) adopted and b) didn't know I was quite surprised. As much as I was curious to find out why the family has chosen to keep the adoption a secret I decided not to ask.</p> <p>Obviously adopting a child of a different race is hard to hide. In this case the parents are light skin and the daughter is brown, which is not unusual to have different skin tones in the same family (Caribbean). Even still my dark haired, dark eyed neighbors incorporated their blonde haired, blue eyed daughter's adoption/ birth story from when she was a baby. They could have played off her coloring as an anomaly too.</p> <p>We don't ever plan to adopt, but I'm pretty sure I'd spill the beans. What about you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2113812 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 05:16:28 +0000 mediagirl 2113812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a story about a couple doing just that. Full disclosure, I know these people.<br /> <a href="http://www.wncn.com/story/28557991/raleigh-couple-turns-to-crowdfunding-to-adopt-baby" rel="nofollow">http://www.wncn.com/story/28557991/raleigh-couple-turns-to-crowdfunding-to-adopt-baby</a></p> <p>I can understand all they have been through and how much they have spent already. That being said, I've never been a big fan of people asking for money to help fund adoption. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-blogs-first-day-adjustment-period-etc#post-2068781 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 14:04:08 +0000 Anagram 2068781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi All!</p> <p>Our cousin just announced that she and her husband were just notified that an 8 month old baby will be placed with them in 5 days (!). They are adopting through the Canadian foster care system.</p> <p>She mentioned wanting to read some adoption blogs--what are some good ones that deal with first days home, domestic adoptions, etc?</p> <p>They are spending the next 5 days gathering supplies and baby items--this is their first child. </p> <p>Any recommendations for blogs that deal with this age, the first days home, the adjustment period, etc? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-adoption-article#post-2116091 Fri, 20 Mar 2015 12:11:56 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2116091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought this would be a nice article for discussion in light of the open vs closed adoption discussion we've been having. It seems that a lot of the issues (though not all) that this adoptee brings up are taken off the table in open adoption. It still makes adoptive families more complex families, but in my mind it's not that different than step-families or other family configurations.</p> <p><a href="http://www.vox.com/2015/3/17/8203507/adoption-children-experiences" rel="nofollow">http://www.vox.com/2015/3/17/8203507/adoption-children-experiences</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trend-toward-more-open-adoptions#post-2114236 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:35:34 +0000 mrscobee 2114236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All these thoughtful adoption posts today had me thinking about one of my questions regarding adoption. DH and I have always been open to the possibility of adoption (if we ran into fertility issues) or completing our family via adoption someday (even if we didn't run into issues).</p> <p>However, we have had a number of friends, co-workers, and acquaintances adopt domestically... And although we knew it was super expensive, I don't think we knew the true extent of it until recently. It is super sad that so many people interested in adopting will never be able to because of the cost. </p> <p>Another big deterrent for me though is that it seems like the level of openness required (to be chosen) has increased significantly over recent years (from what I remember hearing about 10 years ago).<br /> Also, because everything is so open, it seems like adoption has gotten super competitive. I read an acquaintance's adoption profile, and it seems like these parent profiles are heavily marketed to potential birth mothers, designed to compete with other families and almost tell birth mothers what they want to hear, including that they are open to any level of openness. At the end of the day, all these families I read profiles on seemed like such wonderful, loving families, so it breaks my heart that some could be waiting longer or rejected based on poorer “marketing efforts” or being honest regarding a lack of willingness to have the adoption anything less than 100% open.</p> <p>Has anyone closer to the adoption process noticed these trends? Just as there are plenty of reasons to want an open adoption, I also think there are plenty of valid reasons to not be 100% in favor of an open adoption. Does anyone ever do a successful more closed-ish adoption anymore? I just don’t feel like I ever hear about that… </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114014 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:26:44 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2114014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The post about crowd funding adoption made me remember how totally clueless i was about the cost of adoption before we went through the process. I thought it would cost about $10-$15k, but we clocked in around $40k when all was said and done. Korea is the most expensive country to adopt from, and they are currently requiring two trips, for court and custody. So we paid double the airfare and lodging that we originally estimated.</p> <p>I truly wish international adoption could be more affordable. I see posts all the time from my agency, advocating for homes for children at risk for instituionalized childhoods. I know that all that's keeping some people, our family included, from doing it is the cost. </p> <p>Interested to see what others know or think about the cost of adoption, both international and domestic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sweet-adoption-story#post-2049114 Sat, 31 Jan 2015 22:22:28 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2049114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ignore the ignorant use of the term "gave up her baby". This birth mom pumped milk for her daughter. Totally amazing!</p> <p><a href="http://www.adn.com/article/20150131/stronger-love-anchorage-teenager-gives-breast-milk-baby-she-gave-adoption" rel="nofollow">http://www.adn.com/article/20150131/stronger-love-anchorage-teenager-gives-breast-milk-baby-she-gave-adoption</a> </p>