https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 05:24:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928247 Tue, 09 May 2023 14:54:07 +0000 JJ2626 2928247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: thank you! I guess it’s true that kids are always changing. We do prioritize outdoor time as she is in a forest preschool but that will change with kindergarten. This is a good reminder to figure out ways to keep the outdoor and physical activity going! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928231 Sat, 29 Apr 2023 19:02:11 +0000 catgirl 2928231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD also became difficult around 5.5. She was a (relatively) easy baby/toddler/preschooler but when the switch flipped it was drastic. She's 8.5 now and honestly still pretty difficult. It's better now in the sense that it's not constant, but she is definitely a tough kid. </p> <p>Like @pachamama: we really prioritize sleep and outside time, but also general movement and activity. Those don't solve the issues but not getting enough of them definitely can make things worse. Karate has helped a bit because it not only gives her a physical outlet but also works on mindfulness techniques. </p> <p>I also have really enjoyed the book "Raising Your Spirited Child." I find myself flipping through it regularly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928218 Tue, 25 Apr 2023 18:21:32 +0000 JJ2626 2928218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: thanks! Appreciate it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928217 Tue, 25 Apr 2023 18:20:53 +0000 JJ2626 2928217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: ugh I’m sorry you’re there too. Solidarity! I’m totally telling myself what I tell new moms: this too shall pass. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928216 Tue, 25 Apr 2023 18:20:17 +0000 JJ2626 2928216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: thank you! We’ve had a lot of schedule changes with travel and visitors the past few months so I’m hoping with a return to schedules, she gets a bit better? We shall see! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928215 Tue, 25 Apr 2023 18:19:15 +0000 JJ2626 2928215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: thanks! Good to know we’re not alone! I’m happy your daughter finally came out of it. My kid is still in preschool but I think already thinking about kinder next year? Who knows. Wait it out is our plan! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928189 Fri, 21 Apr 2023 04:16:48 +0000 pachamama 2928189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son has had periods of this since he was born. Absolutely miserable to be around. I felt so isolated because he, probably 50% of the time, is just unpleasant. My younger son is so sweet and easy.<br /> I'm sure you do this but just make sure she's sleeping enough and getting outside a lot. Solidarity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928186 Wed, 19 Apr 2023 11:30:28 +0000 smuckers 2928186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I literally posted on social media yesterday that I was prepared for sleepless nights with a newborn, infants having no fear, the terrible twos, threenagers, but was deeply, woefully underprepared for the Kindergarten Whine.</p> <p>No advice, just commiseration. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928185 Wed, 19 Apr 2023 10:41:38 +0000 Chuckles 2928185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that as kids get out of the toddler years, they have so many more skills in terms of being able to follow directions, get their own snack, get dressed independently, etc. that sometimes they seem to be more capable in general than they actually are. It might help to reframe that even though she is gaining a lot of daily living skills, she is still 5 and her ability to understand and appropriately express her feelings is developing. I would guess that she's figuring out how to become more independent from you and is experiencing more complex emotions than a younger kid. Has anything else changed like sleep patterns? Is she in school for a longer amount of time than earlier? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928181 Wed, 19 Apr 2023 08:01:56 +0000 PinkElephant 2928181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My youngest (now 6.5) is coming out the darkness of a phase like this now. She still throws some major shade and can be stubborn about stupid things, but it is so improved from the screaming and hurling herself on the floor over every.little.thing. that was happening six to nine months ago. We were horrified that this behavior was coming from a kid that was way to old for it.</p> <p>Not sure what to tell. Nothing really “worked” to resolve it other than giving only very bland reactions (repeating instructions, ignoring/going about our business, not giving in to demands, stating that we couldn’t do “x” if she was screaming, asking what her teacher would think, etc.)…really I believe a lot of it was just that kindergarten was a big adjustment and she was stressed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928177 Tue, 18 Apr 2023 21:27:58 +0000 JJ2626 2928177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter turned 5 a couple of months ago and has been a nightmare ever since. She was the easiest, happiest kid who had barely ever had a temper tantrum and it was like a flip switched when she turned 5. I know we’ve been lucky so maybe it’s just our turn to have a tough kid but I am losing it. Everything is a meltdown, she won’t go to sleep, fights eating even her usual fave foods, and is just so unpleasant to be around. I think I would have dealt a lot better with a tough 3 year old bc at least they are little but I feel like she knows better than to act this way! Has anyone been through this? I am at a loss! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kid-talking-in-the-third-person#post-2927603 Sat, 22 Oct 2022 15:10:03 +0000 caitcat 2927603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: It is so much like Elmo! Our Sesame Street days are so far behind us, I'd kind of forgotten! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kid-talking-in-the-third-person#post-2927602 Sat, 22 Oct 2022 09:10:09 +0000 MamaCate 2927602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caitcat: that sounds tiresome, and probably picked up from another kid. </p> <p>It also sounds like Elmo. Elmo always talks in the third person. I don’t know how your kids feel about Elmo but by kinder my kids thought it was for babies. If you wanted to try to redirect the behavior, you might be able to use that to say “oh you sound like Elmo. Are you talking like Elmo right now or a big five year old?” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kid-talking-in-the-third-person#post-2927599 Thu, 20 Oct 2022 13:40:31 +0000 caitcat 2927599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: I'll give this a try and see. If she'd even just use "I" sometimes at this point, I'd happily take it! :) </p> <p>@agold: I have a hunch it might be coming from a friend at school too. Or possibly a tv show? My kids have been home sick so much this school year, and I've left them binge watch more cartoons than usual while I try to get some work done. It might have backfired on me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kid-talking-in-the-third-person#post-2927598 Thu, 20 Oct 2022 12:32:27 +0000 agold 2927598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is likely another kid in her class who is talking like that. My daughter started doing baby talk and I know exactly which kid she got it from. It was like nails on a chalk board. I would tell her that we don't talk like that and to please stop doing it. There are certainly other approaches. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kid-talking-in-the-third-person#post-2927597 Thu, 20 Oct 2022 08:52:55 +0000 erinbaderin 2927597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder what would happen if you made a joke about it? "Oh, E wants a snack? Ok, when you see E can you ask what kind of snack she wants? Tell her she has to ask me herself. Oh, YOU want a snack! I thought you must mean a different E!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kid-talking-in-the-third-person#post-2927595 Wed, 19 Oct 2022 16:52:53 +0000 caitcat 2927595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kindergartner (age 5) has started taking in the third person non-stop lately. I’m not really sure how/why it started, but it’s been this way for the last month and a half. We haven’t made a big deal about correcting it, other than modeling back something like “oh, you want a snack?” if she says something like “E wants a snack!” But it’s driving my husband nuts 😆 (and I don’t really want this to become a lasting thing…) So I’m on the hunt for strategies to help her break the habit, if that’s even something we can/should guide. Is this the kind of things kids just grow out of, or something I need to be more proactive about? Generally I feel like the more attention I draw to anything like this with my kids, the worse it gets…so I’ve pretty much ignored the third person thing and hoped it’s a phase, but I’m curious if anyone has been there before and can offer me some hope from the other side. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925616 Tue, 30 Nov 2021 05:51:38 +0000 caitcat 2925616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@julie31: I've looked into this, but we haven't tried it yet. It looks intriguing. I'd love to know what you think of it as your son gets started! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925612 Mon, 29 Nov 2021 19:40:26 +0000 catgirl 2925612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is 6, almost 7 - she has big emotions, strong opinions, and can be very intense. We signed her up for karate in spring of 2020 but after only a week or two everything shut down and she didn't do well with the at home classes. But we just signed up again at the advice of her school guidance counselor and her pediatrician. We're hoping it helps with concentration, self control, and provides an opportunity to work out frustration in a structured environment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925607 Mon, 29 Nov 2021 10:49:45 +0000 julie31 2925607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anybody tried Mightier to help regulate moods/reduce meltdowns? I just ordered it for my 5yo. He can be quite challenging too. The ups and downs of his moods are just super draining to deal with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925570 Mon, 22 Nov 2021 13:38:15 +0000 caitcat 2925570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to commiserate! My six year old is similarly intense and it's hard. And it can feel isolating too. There are definitely outings and activities that we shy away from or do in very tailored ways to try to better manage the situation. There's plenty of stuff I can take my four year old to do easily, but feels overwhelming to think about with my six year old! It's getting easier as she gets older, but in some ways, it just sort of changes shape. We keep pretty consistent routines, clear boundaries and consequences, and we're really focusing now on how to equip her to navigate some pretty intense feelings and reactions at this stage. </p> <p>Pre-covid, we worked with an OT for some sensory issues. She was also a huge help for some self-regulation strategies for my daughter. We've worked on and off with an LCSW who did some play therapy with my daughter and who was a sounding board for me too. That was helpful for me from the parenting perspective, but we saw more "immediate" results for my daughter with the OT.</p> <p>I haven't read it in a while, but I remember finding the book "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka helpful (and validating) when my daughter was a little younger. </p> <p>My daughter will turn seven next month, and things are changing some. We see fewer full-fledged meltdowns (though they still happen sometimes). She still has very big (sometimes disproportionate) reactions to things like we saw from early in her preschool days. I think this is just her temperament, and part of me struggles so much with it because it's so different from how I am. </p> <p>My daughter has taken off with reading, and I've found the more kid-friendly books that we surround her with that include mindfulness strategies or talk about emotions and how to appropriate engage and respond, the better. She'll absorb a lot through books and reading on her own terms, and it's been pretty cool to see her growth through what she reads. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925568 Mon, 22 Nov 2021 11:39:18 +0000 ShootingStar 2925568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bakingdoodle: She did go to preschool. And she doesn't really do after school activities. We just don't have the energy for it, plus I haven't felt like it was a great idea to have the kids in situations with other kids, where they're usually unmasked. I don't really like our pediatrician. We moved from MA to FL in 2020 and we obviously had to change pediatricians, and our current one is a little judgy-er than I'd like, but I haven't bothered to find a new one yet. </p> <p>@Cait1: It's good to hear we're not the only ones with a kid like this. My son was just never like this. I can remember taking him on a plane trip just he and I to help my parents move when he was 4. And there's no way I'd ever bring my daughter on a trip like that, she'd make me totally crazy, even though she is better one on one.</p> <p>@kayla0416: That's a really interesting suggestion about the OT, I'll check that out. </p> <p>Thank you everyone for all the advice and commiseration. She was having a really tough week, but luckily over the weekend she got a bit better. I just keep waiting and waiting for her to get better and stop being the way that she is, and we never seem to get there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925554 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 15:49:27 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2925554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a five year old that is similarly difficult. We have been trying to figure out when we get “better” behavior, here’s some of our observations if it helps:<br /> She’s better after eating more complete meals with protein and worse after sugary/sweet snacks/meals.<br /> Better when she gets more sleep- early bed time<br /> Better after alone time or one on one with a parent (hard because we have 4 kids)<br /> Better after time outdoors. Way worse after any screen time.<br /> Also we have found art/crafting to be really good for calming her down.<br /> Hope that helps! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925553 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 14:14:58 +0000 kayla0416 2925553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I have a 5-yr old kindergartner as well. She is the oldest of our 3 and has always been the most challenging. We've had some similar behavior issues, moreso when she was about 4.5-5 was the worst. I consulted a pediatric therapy company in town to talk about her issues and they recommended OT and counseling. I didn't think the counseling was a good fit so we didn't continue with that, but OT was AMAZING. My daughter learned so many techniques to calm herself down when she was upset and to calm her body when she was feeling out of control. OT was a life-saver for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925552 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 13:02:02 +0000 Chuckles 2925552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also wonder how she's doing in kindergarten. If she's doing pretty well there but melting down after school, it could be that she's using up all her patience and self control during the school day and coming home exhausted. Then I would consider asking your pediatrician for some resources for parent training/support. Parent training doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It just gives you more tools that can be specific to your child to support their growth and behavior. But if she's also struggling behaviorally on the weekends and at school, looking more into her needs and behavior would be helpful. Your pediatrician can also be a good place to start with that and can give you a referral. Or reaching out to a developmental pediatrician or child psychologist in the community. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925551 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 12:33:37 +0000 Cait1 2925551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 6 year old who is similar in some ways. He whines when asked to do things independently and does not listen when we tell him to stop messing with his brother. He has epic meltdowns over little things as well. We love him to pieces but it can be really stressful, upsetting, and draining trying to navigate his moods. I don’t have any great advice really but wanted to offer commiseration as I know how tough it can be. One thing that seems to help is an early bedtime (~7pm). I notice the behavior gets worse when he’s tired so we try as much as possible to stick to it. It also seems worse when he’s going through a big change (like starting at a new school) so we try to make sure he has extra routine/structure around those times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925550 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 12:18:44 +0000 bakingdoodle 2925550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel your pain. I don't know why some kids are easier than others. What kind of activities that your daughter is doing?<br /> Did she go to preschool? How is she doing in kindergarten? Did her teacher mention anything to you?<br /> Afterschool: my kids do karate. At that age, you learn to listen. you learn discipline and then you slowly learn combination...<br /> Have you talked to her pediatrician? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-2#post-2925549 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 11:59:09 +0000 pachamama 2925549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had the same issue with both my sons. Time-outs did nothing; as 1.5 year olds (really until age 3) children are not developmentally equipped to understand them. For my sons (both hit a lot), it would come and go. It was just how they were. Nothing I did helped the situation. NOTHING. But they are both super sweet, well adjusted kids (who went to kindergarten and don´t hit there!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925548 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 11:57:06 +0000 ShootingStar 2925548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is 5 and in kindergarten. And she basically can't do anything by herself (such as getting dressed or brushing her teeth) and usually does things as slowly as possible if she does do them. DS at this age would happily get himself dressed in the morning without argument. But she seriously tries to make every aspect of everything difficult. She's still not potty trained (we've been working with a specialist potty trainer for almost a year now). I will ask her to go sometimes and she just refuses and then has an accident. She clings to her brother and drives him crazy, and won't listen when I ask her to stop. As she's gotten older it's much harder to physically make her stop. She often has huge meltdowns about simple things like putting her shoes away when she gets home, or closing the door.</p> <p>I just don't know how to manage her behavior or where to go for resources. She has no innate desire to listen to us. And I can't send her to her room because she just leaves and comes out screaming any more. </p> <p>Ugh. Any ideas? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-2#post-2925547 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 06:40:52 +0000 caitcat 2925547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second Janet Lansbury for this age! I also found the book "How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen" helpful as we got closer into the 2-3 years stage, and wish I'd read it a little sooner than I did. </p>