https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 18:37:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/5-year-old-is-so-difficult#post-2928177 Tue, 18 Apr 2023 21:27:58 +0000 JJ2626 2928177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter turned 5 a couple of months ago and has been a nightmare ever since. She was the easiest, happiest kid who had barely ever had a temper tantrum and it was like a flip switched when she turned 5. I know we’ve been lucky so maybe it’s just our turn to have a tough kid but I am losing it. Everything is a meltdown, she won’t go to sleep, fights eating even her usual fave foods, and is just so unpleasant to be around. I think I would have dealt a lot better with a tough 3 year old bc at least they are little but I feel like she knows better than to act this way! Has anyone been through this? I am at a loss! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kid-talking-in-the-third-person#post-2927595 Wed, 19 Oct 2022 16:52:53 +0000 caitcat 2927595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kindergartner (age 5) has started taking in the third person non-stop lately. I’m not really sure how/why it started, but it’s been this way for the last month and a half. We haven’t made a big deal about correcting it, other than modeling back something like “oh, you want a snack?” if she says something like “E wants a snack!” But it’s driving my husband nuts 😆 (and I don’t really want this to become a lasting thing…) So I’m on the hunt for strategies to help her break the habit, if that’s even something we can/should guide. Is this the kind of things kids just grow out of, or something I need to be more proactive about? Generally I feel like the more attention I draw to anything like this with my kids, the worse it gets…so I’ve pretty much ignored the third person thing and hoped it’s a phase, but I’m curious if anyone has been there before and can offer me some hope from the other side. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-daughter-is-a-terror-who-lives-to-be-difficult#post-2925548 Fri, 19 Nov 2021 11:57:06 +0000 ShootingStar 2925548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is 5 and in kindergarten. And she basically can't do anything by herself (such as getting dressed or brushing her teeth) and usually does things as slowly as possible if she does do them. DS at this age would happily get himself dressed in the morning without argument. But she seriously tries to make every aspect of everything difficult. She's still not potty trained (we've been working with a specialist potty trainer for almost a year now). I will ask her to go sometimes and she just refuses and then has an accident. She clings to her brother and drives him crazy, and won't listen when I ask her to stop. As she's gotten older it's much harder to physically make her stop. She often has huge meltdowns about simple things like putting her shoes away when she gets home, or closing the door.</p> <p>I just don't know how to manage her behavior or where to go for resources. She has no innate desire to listen to us. And I can't send her to her room because she just leaves and comes out screaming any more. </p> <p>Ugh. Any ideas? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-2#post-2925540 Thu, 18 Nov 2021 13:42:04 +0000 azbaby 2925540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 1.5 year old has turned into a full toddler. She hits when mad and throws her toys at us. We're working on time outs. What did you do to help stop and/or redirect the behavior? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-says-weird-things#post-2919293 Mon, 28 Sep 2020 17:28:57 +0000 Tionn3 2919293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've been teaching our 2.5 year old that hands are not for hitting since he was 18 months old. He was hitting us quiet a bit for what seemed like no reason. Over all he seems to be getting it. I can see that he is starting to understand that it is not okay, and I have seen a huge reduction in hitting. He still gets "rough" when he is overly excited, like with horse play with his father, or when he is not feeling well, but you can tell he's not doing it intentionally. The preschool has not said anything to us about him hitting or pushing other children.</p> <p>However...he likes to talk about hitting and pushing. I don't know if it's normal. Sometimes he will ask me " Mama can I push you?" or "Mama can I hit you"? We tell him very clearly " no, I don't like that, we don't hit our family or friends". He never hits us after we answer him NO. Today he told me "sometimes I like to push you" and I told him " I don't like that, we never push". Later I caught him singing about how he pushed another kid at school. Is this concerning? Or is this just a normal toddler working through life lessons thing? I have read elsewhere that when toddlers start to learn impulse control you will see them say things like " no hit" before they hit someone. I feel like this is similar to that but I'm not sure and I have nothing else to compare it to because I only have my 1 son and don' have a lot of experience with small children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-charts-success#post-2922505 Sat, 13 Feb 2021 16:24:08 +0000 cake2017 2922505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello!</p> <p>I posted about my 3.5 DS at preschool. We just ordered a behavior chart off Amazon! It’s a long weekend so we will start it this weekend and talk about school and staying quiet- reward at the end of the week if he does well. </p> <p>Anybody else use this? How old was your child and how did it go? </p> <p>Ideas for rewards?! </p> <p>Thank you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/micromanagey-dh#post-2921281 Thu, 03 Dec 2020 12:25:55 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2921281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since being stuck at home together for 9 months and counting, I've noticed that my husband is an epic micromanager, especially when it comes to our daughter. He constantly nags her during school (we're virtual at home, 2nd grade) - how to sit, where to sit, what to do/not to do, pay attention, repeating the teacher's instructions, it's nonstop. Our daughter is a good student, she loves school, even virtually, and she's very diligent about being in class and answering questions and participating, but she has some attention issues so she fidgets a lot. I've told her (and him) to use fidget toys, to change up her environment, etc. and I've tested her to make sure she is paying attention and I have no doubt that she is, but whenever I'm in my office working, I hear him still constantly nagging her and she's getting fed up and yelling at him so they're constantly arguing. He does the same thing during meals, while she's getting ready in the morning, during her taekwondo classes, etc. When I try to talk to him about it, he gets pissed at me and says I just want everything to be my way. At this point I've literally resorted to teaching my 7 year old daughter to diffuse arguments by explaining to him why she might be building a pillow fort during class, calm herself down instead of yelling back, etc. Important skills for her to learn, but mostly coming because her father is completely unresponsive to feedback. Any ideas on what else I can try with him? I've told him before that he's damaging their relationship, and he seems to get it, because she only fights with him, never with me, but does nothing about it and gets mad every time I dare say something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-being-disruptive-during-nap-in-daycare#post-2918882 Wed, 09 Sep 2020 17:30:59 +0000 cake2017 2918882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Help! Sent a lovey, book, paper and crayons- nothing is working. nap is about 1.5 hours and he’s telling, screaming, moving furniture etc. Staff said they are going to brainstorm. We’ve spoken to him and he repeats and says exactly what he needs to do(I need to be quiet, I should rest etc) but doesn’t do it. He comes out and excitedly states he was disruptive at nap. We’ve tried ignoring, addressing the issue and nothing seems to be working. I don’t know what to do- any suggestions? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-could-your-kids-independently-do-personal-care-tasks-without-drama#post-2918443 Thu, 20 Aug 2020 19:03:14 +0000 JennyPenny 2918443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are now 6 years into this parenting thing and the part of the day that I still hate hate hate, is getting the kids to wash up, brush teeth, and get dressed/into pajamas. Unless I coddle them the whole way through it leads to chaos of running with toothbrushes, screaming and all sorts of loud, undesirable behavior. And gently taking them by the hand and leading them through all the tasks doesn’t always guarantee smoothness either. My boys are 6 and 3 and I just did not expect we’d still be having the same issues for years.... please tell me it gets better, especially if you did something to make it better. Or tell me I’m not alone 😭 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/defeatist-kid-ways-to-help#post-2918085 Mon, 10 Aug 2020 06:44:36 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2918085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm struggling on how to help my 7 year old (rising 2nd grader) manage challenges. Whenever she hits a challenge (something that's hard or new to her) she tends to melt down in frustration rather than try to solve the problem or avoids doing it or says she needs to do it "perfectly" and then gets dramatic about it. Some examples: </p> <p>-melts down over something not coming easily (crying, stomping, etc. - this especially tends to happen if she's losing at a game or can't seem to do something easily like combing tangles out of her hair)<br /> -she avoids doing the task at all if she perceives it too hard or she might get it "wrong" (e.g. riding a two wheeler, writing a note to someone because she might misspell a word)<br /> -overdramatizes doing it "perfectly" (e.g. she exaggerates taekwondo moves that she isn't familiar with because they have to be "perfect," she takes forever to draw out a letter when writing because it has to be just right) </p> <p>I am a very growth-mindset-oriented parent (heck, I teach grown-ups on the topic) so we've always praised effort, and always talk about continuing to try, step away and look at a problem another way, ask for help, that it's ok to make mistakes, etc., but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm really at a loss where this is coming from because neither DH nor I are perfectionists, we never articulated that she has to excel, etc. and we're big on praise for effort, trying your best, etc, so I'm really not sure what else to try. She's an only child, and she's a pretty quick and advanced learner who's been at the top of her classes so far (and will be in a couple advanced placement groups in the coming year) so maybe she internalized something at school but I am really concerned about her becoming an overachiever and succumbing to stress as she gets older. </p> <p>Any tips, good books, etc that you might recommend that I can utilize? Many thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-having-trouble-focusing#post-2918035 Fri, 07 Aug 2020 10:39:10 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2918035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dd turned 4 in April. Last week she moved into the 4s/preschool room at daycare. This morning the director told me that dd is having trouble focusing and staying on task and asked if she has trouble at home too.... which, the answer is yes. She's my oldest, so I guess I didn't realize that this isn't normal at 4? </p> <p>Does anyone have any advice or dealt with anything similar? I was a vey shy, quiet child who didn't want to get in trouble, so I have no idea what she needs to help her. I feel lost. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-needy-behavior#post-2913597 Wed, 08 Apr 2020 14:41:00 +0000 foodiebee 2913597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our 10 month old son is very social. He loves to go to daycare and be around the other children of all ages, especially kids in the class above him, who he loves to watch and learn from. He's very curious and *always* on the move and learning and exploring. So, quarantining is starting to get hard. </p> <p>We have a lot going on at the same time right now: ear infections (he needs tubes but can't get seen right now with everything going on), a developmental leap, separation anxiety, teething, and quarantining with only DH and me. DS has been struggling with wanting to be ON us at all times. If we put him down, he loses it. If we sit on the floor to be closer to him and play, he'll climb on us (or at least he would if we let him. He can sit in our laps but he can't use us as a jungle gym!). Yesterday he dropped something he was holding a few inches away and totally lost it, just sobbing. So, there are a lot of emotions in the house right now! </p> <p>Some days it feels like we can't be away from him even inches without him starting to fuss and cry. If I successfully distract him, he'll grin and be interested in the new thing until he figures it out, then it's back to fussing. I want to support him emotionally without coddling him, you know? I guess I'm looking to hear from you other experienced mamas about how you'd handle and interpret these big emotions he has right now. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/husband-and-tantrums#post-2910644 Mon, 24 Feb 2020 11:37:11 +0000 Tionn3 2910644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband has a hard time dealing with my 2 year old's tantrums. My husband is also the preferred. It goes something like this. My son will wake up in the morning and immediately have a tantrum, usually because he has asked for a breakfast item that we are not making that morning. My husband will then proceed to try to get my son to stop crying by asking him questions, and trying to offer him other food, toys, or activities. It just snow balls into my son saying that he wants something and then freaking out when it is given to him. I have told my husband repeatedly, that the way to deal with that kind of behavior is to either sit with our son in his room until he calms down, or to just ignore him and go about making his breakfast. If he eats great, if he doesn't pack up the breakfast and have him eat it in the car before daycare. </p> <p>I follow my own advice when my son has a tantrum, and it definitely works. I'm a firm believer of consistency. It shortens tantrums for sure, and decreases their frequency. I don't understand why I'm getting so much push back from my husband. It is making things so much worse, and I have definitely noticed and increase in my son's tantrums. I have tried talking about it with him in private. I've tried catching him when I see him giving in by calmly saying " you're the parent, you make the rules". Nothing is getting through to him, and I often get a response "I'm just trying to survive" which makes me even more mad, because it's a cop out for not parenting. I'm at my wits end. At this point, it's easier to parent my son without my husband around. I don't know what to do. Any advice on this? I'm tired of always being the bad guy, but at this point it's like I'm the only one being a parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sibling-fights#post-2910402 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 11:44:30 +0000 castilrm 2910402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our 4 and 2 year old daughters are driving me batty. Separately, they are generally well behaved but as soon as they are together, it’s like they transform into pound puppies fighting for every toy or snack put near them. Even if I buy two of something, they somehow still end up fighting over it. Any suggestions on how to handle this to smooth over fights? When does this improve? I was hoping there would be improvement as the two year old’s verbal skills improved but she’s actually quite verbal already and they fight more than ever. They fight over touching each other, saying random (often not even real words!) things to each other, who sits where, who plays with what, etc. The 4 year old often takes things without asking and doesn’t want to share bc she claims the younger one will break something, which drives the 2 year old crazy, but then the 2 year old gets physical with either bopping the older the sister on the head or knocking over whatever game she’s playing. It’s to the point where they start to gripe at each other the minute they are up. We take toys away if they fight over them, we separate them if the fighting continues after talking to them, and occasional short time outs to cool down if things get too intense. They are very different personality types with the younger one being much more defiant and mischievous so it’s hard to find any way to jointly discipline them. I have to believe this will improve as they get older??? Will take any suggestions or hopeful experiences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/2-year-old-hitting#post-2908853 Thu, 23 Jan 2020 12:05:18 +0000 Tionn3 2908853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey everyone. It's been a while since I've posted on here. My son is going to turn 2 on Feb 4th and over the last couple of months his toddler aggression has been peaking. I know it is somewhat normal, but I'm concerned. He has started hitting us seemingly out of nowhere. I mostly notice it happening in the afternoon/evening. Yesterday he smacked my husband is the face twice, the day before that he threw a train at his head and then a couple of books. It was about 2 hours before bedtime. We tell him firmly "no, no hitting". I try to give him alternative actions that are acceptable, like high fives, hugs, gentle pats. I feel like he's not getting it. He doesn't seem to understand that hitting hurts. Additionally, after he has hit us , and we tell him not to, he will hit himself and say "ow", or he will hit his stuffies (like he's look for a reaction from the stuffie). </p> <p>The preschool hasn't said anything to us about hitting, and I trust them so I assume it is not a problem there. I actually think he does really well with other children. Even when another child is playing with his toys, He is pretty good with sharing and controlling his actions when prompted. I will say that there is a girl at school that hits a lot, and when I pick him up he will frequently tell me " E hit me", or "E was hitting", and I've even see her hitting. </p> <p>I'm going to mention this to the pediatrician at his 24 month appointment, but what else should I be doing? Will it get better? Should I start doing timeouts? I feel like he doesn't really connect that the timeout is for the hitting. </p> <p>Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907139 Sat, 28 Dec 2019 17:43:18 +0000 Purpledaisy 2907139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my 6 year old DD (7 in March) wanted a rolling suitcase for Christmas. She totally doesn’t “need” it but we got her one, she was so happy with it and was excited to use it for sleepovers and vacations. </p> <p>Yesterday she drew on it with a marker (it’s fabric)... she’s gotten in big trouble for this same issue in the past. She knows better and knows to ask first before drawing on stuff that’s not paper/meant to be drawn on. After playing the million questions game she admitted that she did it without asking because she knew that I would say no and she didn’t think that I’d find out(really?!?! It’s pretty big...)</p> <p>Now I’m torn on what to do! So far we’ve had a stern talking with her, taken away all markers, taken away the suitcase, and she went to bed last night with no bedtime book and just a quick tuck in, no cuddling and talking like usual. </p> <p>My biggest issue is that she doesn’t seem that sorry!! She hasn’t even brought it up today. Usually when she gets into trouble she feels terrible. She’s typically a very good kid, rarely gets into trouble, excellent at school, etc. </p> <p>but now I’m stuck! Should she get into more trouble?? Do I eventually give the suitcase back?? Have her earn in back?? How?? I’m not ready to let this go but I don’t know what approach I should take...</p> <p>Anyone have any advice or ideas? Personal experience? </p> <p>I know that isn’t “that” bad of a thing to do but she intentionally did it behind my back and feels little remorse. We are also very big on having stuff like that is a privilege and taking care of our belongings is important. Also, if she had just asked I would have offered alternatives like an iron on patch, cute pins to stick on it, or keychains for the zippers... and I almost always give alternatives to situations like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/strategies-to-increase-patience#post-2906574 Fri, 20 Dec 2019 07:16:03 +0000 JennyPenny 2906574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have this vision of the kind of parent I want to be, especially when it comes to correcting behavior, but I keep finding my patience wearing down and there I am yelling and making threats again. So I think I want my New Years resolution to be working on my patience. In preparation I’m wondering what strategies work for others. For example I know that lack of sleep definitely reduces my patience so I’m going to focus on getting a good nights sleep (as much as that’s in my control). The other big trigger for me is if I’m trying to get something else done. Things like making dinner I obviously can’t delay until past bedtime, but the other night I was setting up some smart lighting with 2 minions running around and that definitely could have waited. Has anyone else noticed other things that trigger impatience or help them have more patience with your kids? I’d love to hear it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-4-year-old-consistency-with-manners#post-2905905 Sun, 15 Dec 2019 19:48:57 +0000 castilrm 2905905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We’ve been pushing manners, primarily saying please/thank you and saying hello/goodbye since day one with my 4 year old daughter. I expected that she would need reminding for please and thank yous occasionally and since she’s somewhat shy, that she’d need prompting with hellos/introductions and goodbyes. However, I also expected this to improve steadily if we were consistent in our prompting. This has not been the case, and it’s driving me crazy. She fails to say please/thank you without prompting probably 75% of the time and she’s still awful at being proactive in hellos or goodbyes especially when we’re somewhere new. Our two year old is even better with these manners on a consistent basis. Any suggestions on how to finally get these manners to stick? We keep trying to emphasize how this shows kindness and makes others feel good and acknowledged but she seems incapable of having a serious conversation about the importance of these manners (she starts to goof around). Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences-when-logical-consequences-arent-working#post-2905209 Tue, 10 Dec 2019 10:50:10 +0000 Anagram 2905209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our oldest DD (1st grade) has been doing something lately, and we've talked and lectured a lot. And she's not really "getting" the seriousness.</p> <p>Here's the situation: At the beginning of the year, she took some random small toys to school. They have a rule that kids are allowed to bring toys and keep them in their backpack and take them out at recess (especially for indoor recess days when there is bad weather). Well, of course she lost a few of these toys and I feel like that's a good enough logical consequence. Then she started "trading" toys with friends and we had to have several talks/lectures about that because sometimes they were trading inappropriate things--for example, once my 6 year old took and LOL doll that is actually her 4 year old sisters, and "traded it" with one of her school BFFs for a "special wrap bracelet" that was actually a detached purse strap. Like picture the clasps at each end and a faux leather purse strap--her friend convinced her she was supposed to wrap it several times around her wrist and join the 2 clasps together as a bracelet. We made our DD return the purse strap (because it obviously goes to some bag at the other girls' house, could be her moms bag or whatever) and ask for the LOL back because it wasn't hers to trade. Well, she never got the LOL back. We made her give DD2 one of her LOL dolls. We also said no more trading.</p> <p>However, then DH bought DD a watch (not expensive, provably less than $30) to help her learn to tell time. She's in 1st grade and we discovered she's still weak on telling time on an analog clock, so DH bought her a learning analog watch that has a button where she can press it to tell the time, but she can practice reading the time and compare it to what the voice tells her.</p> <p>Anyway, we told her not to ever wear it to school.....but she sneaked it on one day when it was still brand new, and she let that same friend "borrow it". My husband was pretty livid at DD, who was teary and said her BFF always says if she's REALLY her friend, she'll let her borrow things she wants, or sometimes she'll just try to take things from DD directly.</p> <p>Now, I'm well aware I'm only hearing one side of the story. For all I know, DD is freely offering these things to her friend. I'm not there, all of this happens at recess (ie, the teacher won't know either). We told DD not to take it to school, so either way, we felt she was in the wrong. DH wanted to nicely email the parent of the girl and ask if the parents could check the backpack and send it back (not accusing, just saying our DD lent it to her and it's new so we'd like it back), but I asked my IRL mom friends and they all said they would be kind of offended and would assume we were accusing the girl of taking something if we emailed, so I convinced DH to drop it. Well....the girl kept the watch for 3 weeks and we wrote the watch off as totally gone, and then it finally showed back up. DD's story in all of this continued to be that she was asking her friend daily to bring it back to school, but the friend was saying things like "If you keep asking, I won't bring it". Again, who knows what the truth was. Bottom line, DD took something to school that we asked her not to take, and then one way or another, she lost it. (even though it eventually turned back up).</p> <p>Okay, so we've had probably a dozen conversations, lectures, etc about taking items to school that are important--basically, do not take the items at all; only take items that are yours only, and that you don't mind losing. In the same time frame, DD took many other random things (like themed pencils, erasors, plastic junk from party goody bags, etc) and much of it ended up with this same friend, and I shrugged it all off and kept reiterating the lesson, "expect anything you take to school to end up gone/lost".</p> <p>That brings us to now: Yesterday I pick up DD a little early from aftercare and she's wearing a SPECIAL BRACELET of mine that I keep in a small jewelry box in my closet. She was holding her hand behind her back in an awkward/obvious way so I asked what she was doing and she showed me the bracelet. I gave her a BIG and LONG lecture about not taking things that aren't hers.</p> <p>Clearly, none of that sunk in because JUST THIS MORNING, DH texts me just as I arrive at work and said he saw DD sort of sneaking to her backpack in the morning, so he checked her backpack--and she's got our point-and-shoot camera in there! Now, this is an old point-and-shoot, and we gave it to her to use at home, but it's a working zoom canon camera, and we make sure she uses it correctly, stores it in the camera bag, she can't use it without us, etc. And she was about to take it to school secretly!!!!!</p> <p>So now my husband wants to go full-on with some consequences this afternoon when we're all home. Because clearly the talks and the few logical consequences aren't working. But all of his ideas (taking away the 1 TV show a day she's allowed to watch, not letting her go to her girl scouts meetings for a while, or not giving her the christmas present she wants the most because she can't respect what she already has) seems off to me. I read so much gentle parenting stuff that says unrelated consequences don't stick/sink in--so I'm definitely not on board with the girl scouts or the christmas thing, and the No-tv option would certainly make an impression on DD (because she loves picking a show each day), but it's not a related consequence. Talking and lecturing isn't working.</p> <p>So what's an appropriate consequence for this behavior and how to nip it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-los-to-deal-with-frustration#post-2904585 Thu, 05 Dec 2019 10:22:54 +0000 josina 2904585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 5 and gets easily frustrated and then reacts badly...<br /> He couldn't rip a page out of his coloring book without ripping the whole thing, so it's "I hate this stupid coloring book".<br /> His brand-new powerwheels wasn't working right so "I hate this stupid atv!"<br /> If he gets mad at me or DH or his friends, "You're not my friend anymore!".</p> <p>How do you teach your LO's to correctly handle these situations? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-months-into-the-school-year-amp-the-transition-is-still-rough#post-2902706 Sun, 17 Nov 2019 23:58:23 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2902706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started full day, public Kindergarten at the end of August. We've had all the behaviors I expected, like lots of attitude, fighting with her sister, defiance, etc but the one that gets me the most is the sadness. </p> <p>She is sad a lot. Always needing to sit in my lap, waking up crying at night needing a hug. The thing is she was NEVER like this. Before starting Kinder she was the kid who wiped off my kisses &amp; would only sometimes give me a hug. Don't get me wrong, I love more hugs from her but I'm also a little concerned that she's having such a rough transition. We did move a few months prior to starting school but only about an hour away from our old home. She spent 2 years going to part time preschool &amp; spent 10 to 12 hours with my mom once a week before starting kinder so I really thought we'd have a little bit of an easier time adjusting to being apart.</p> <p>I do my best to give her all the attention she asks for plus some when she is home but Im only capable of so much..</p> <p>Any comments or feedback is welcome!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-puts-everything-in-his-mouth#post-2901364 Sat, 02 Nov 2019 09:22:13 +0000 LadyDi 2901364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 21 months and still puts everything in his mouth, not little pieces like legos or marbles, it seems like he likes to hold toys and gnaw on them. He’ll lick mirrors, the doors, his high chair. The other day we were at the pediatrician and he licked the exam table and the floor. THE FLOOR! He’s not teething, he’s always been like this. Any ideas on how to stop it? I try redirect him but if I took away every toy he put in his mouth he wouldn’t have anything to play with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-my-4yo-is-aggressive-with-my-17mo#post-2900306 Tue, 22 Oct 2019 19:36:50 +0000 MrsADS 2900306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Please help! My 4yo is very aggressive/mean with his 17 mo brother and I don't know what to do. NOTHING we have tried has worked. The aggression, etc. has gotten worse in the last several weeks. </p> <p>The 4yo will throw toys at the baby's head, grab his feet and arms and yank them, hit him, etc. And he will get right in the baby's face and yell "WE DON'T LIKE YOU!" really loudly, take toys away from him constantly, etc. I literally have to follow him around to keep the baby safe.</p> <p>CLEARLY, he has some major jealousy issues. I'm thinking maybe it's worse now because baby brother is in a major clingy phase, and he's jealous seeing baby be held/attended to. So we try to give him LOTS of individual attention, do one-on-one things with him, etc. but really, it's not helping at all. He is better when baby is asleep and it's just him, but obviously most of the time the baby is there!</p> <p>Has anything worked for you in this situation? If he is aggressive with an object (toy) I put it away immediately. If he is acting really wild and out of control, we will put him in his room for 5 minutes to calm down (doesn't help). I feel like more punishment is not going to fix the underlying problem. </p> <p>I am really at my wit's end. I feel like the majority of my interactions with my 4yo are negative (stop doing that, leave him alone, don't talk to him that way, etc). </p> <p>Any ideas?!?!?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/preschooler-always-wants-to-be-first#post-2899246 Fri, 11 Oct 2019 06:32:11 +0000 caitcat 2899246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Any tips/advice/book recommendations for helping a 4.5 year old who is obsessed with being first in everything she does at home? First to get to the bathroom to brush teeth. First to get her shoes. First to get to the table. First to get on the couch to read a book. She's always been a little competitive, but recently she's taking this "first" thing to a new level. She's not this way at school or with friends, it's just at home with her little sister (2.5) so I know it's something with that dynamic. But my usual strategies for taking turns, working together to do things, etc. just aren't cutting it anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/independence-when-kid-doesnt-want-it#post-2897594 Mon, 23 Sep 2019 17:01:09 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2897594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This feels like a weird question to ask but as I read things about helicoptering and snowplowing and all the other overinvolvement sins, I’m wondering how to foster independence in a kid who doesn’t seem to want any. My 6 year old refuses to learn how to shower, for example. She doesn’t care to pick out her own clothes or get dressed herself (and when we force her she drags it out). We have tried chores and responsibilities and she has zero interest nor is motivated by rewards, allowance, etc. We’ve tried making it fun, appealing to her big girl side and nothing. I don’t want to get punitive so I’m wondering if others found things that work to encourage more independence? She’s an only kid so that probably doesn’t help much either because she doesn’t have to share our attention though as two full time working parents and awful commutes, I really would love to have her more involved in our day to day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/separation-anxiety-7#post-2897325 Thu, 19 Sep 2019 14:40:43 +0000 LadyDi 2897325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Alternate title: Am I torturing my toddler?</p> <p>I enrolled my 19 month old in a one morning a week mom's morning out program at my older son's preschool. I SAH and he's definitely clingy and a mama's boy. When I leave him with his dad or his grandparents he usually cries when I leave for a few minutes then gets distracted and goes back to playing. Well the past two weeks at the morning out program have been ROUGH. I try to leave pretty quickly because I didn't think lingering would help. I give him a hug and a kiss and try to give him a toy and then say bye. Both weeks he's cried almost the entire time (3 hours). Last week he was better during music time and snack time but this week he kept trying to open widows to get to me, he won't let anyone pick him up or touch him to comfort him, and he would sometimes start to play with something for a minute or two but then go back to crying. When I got there to pick him up he was just standing under a window crying. </p> <p>I have no idea what to do to help him. His biggest comforting object is his pacifier, which he had this week. When he's really upset at home he never wants a lovey or a blanket, usually I just hold him or give him a pacifier until he calms down. Or I distract him with TV. I also have a 2 month old so it's hard to give him the attention he wants. I've been so upset and guilt-ridden since I picked him up today. Normally I would say kids need time to adjust but he's only 19 months old so maybe he just isn't ready for this? I am also really sad for myself because I really wanted this one morning a week to myself (and my newborn). The transition to three kids has been harder on me than having the other two and this one morning "off" was supposed to be my breath of fresh air. I know if he doesn't calm down or if we can't work through it then they are going to suggest I pull him out...which I totally understand. I am sure he's ruining the experience for the teachers and other kids in the class. Any suggestions???? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/25-ds-hitting-and-kicking-whats-normal-when-will-it-end-what-should-we-do#post-2896498 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 12:24:26 +0000 Ajsmommy 2896498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a 2.5 yr old and he hits ALL THE TIME. I don't think it's a verbal frustration thing.. he just hits bc he wants to!!! His target is usually his big sister (who sometimes does deserve it for bugging him).. but a lot of times it's out of no where and for no reason. He also kicks and throws things at people.... I am the target of the kicks, usually during diaper changes and A LOT at bedtime (I lay in bed with him) and he throws everything... food/toys/his paci/anything he can get his hands on.</p> <p>I am at a loss. DD who is 5 yo was frightened of a raised voice and would stop whatever she was doing immediately but DS has NO fear of a raised voice, in fact if you raise your voice to him he actually just yells back So that is not a solution.</p> <p>We do time outs and he does seem to get it. He'll sit and then we ask him why he's there and he'll say "me hit sis" and we will say that there is no hitting and make him apologize. But he'll be right back to it in literally seconds some times. </p> <p>At bedtime he gets so riled up that he thrashes around, hitting and kicking and flipping all over I try to calm him... I talk in a calm voice, I've tried counting and singing.. I sometimes just hug him to get him to settle but none if it really works. Honestly the only thing that has worked at bedtime and I've had to do it 3 times is a small pop to his bottom. He doesn't like it but it's like he finally gets that I am being serious and he'll settle... but I really don't want to do that at all!!!! </p> <p>I am at a loss..... and I feel like I am failing him. </p> <p>is this normal? when will it end? what should we do? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/normal-or-problem-behavior-6-yo#post-2896482 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 09:37:52 +0000 Becky 2896482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My almost 6 y/o girl seems to be getting more and more emotional and difficult, and I’m starting to get concerned. She still throws epic temper tantrums, and will scream and hit. If reprimanded or told not to do something she melts down. It doesn’t matter if it’s something super insignificant—for some reason she feels like I’m attacking her character. If I calmly tell her “you need to stop talking in a baby voice” for example, she responds “This is how I was born! When you say that it makes me feel like you think I’m a useless block of wood!” (🤷‍♀️). The other day I was in the shower and somehow the gate upstairs got closed and she screamed bloody murder for the next 5 minutes despite being able to hear me say “I’m in the shower. You’re going to have to be patient and wait for me to get out.” She also carries small indiscretions from her classmates for months. She was so upset to find out a little girl who said my DD bumped into her on the playground and didn’t believe DD when she said it wasn’t her was going to be sitting next to her at school. This incident was months ago, but DD said “On the first day I’m going to tell Eleanor I didn’t bump into her.” Yesterday Eleanor said DD was looking at her paper during math and DD got so upset about it that she spent all of recess sitting on the ground not playing. Some days at home it feels like she spends more time crying then not, and she often ruins a perfectly good evening which is hard because I work FT (I would never tell her that though).</p> <p>Our other DD is 3 and very laid back which makes it hard because she rarely gets reprimanded. I am also a little concerned because recently I finally figured out I’ve been suffering from anxiety my entire life, and I’m wondering if that could be what’s going on with her. </p> <p>Thoughts? Is this normal or a problem? TIA! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hitting-2#post-2299294 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 12:20:54 +0000 fuzzypeaches 2299294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know it's really common but I'm at my wits end with my 2 yr old's hitting. He is not very verbal and I know some of it comes from that frustration but it is also attention seeking and sometimes just seems random. We are working on verbal skills but it's slow. </p> <p>Currently we are doing time outs and he will come say sorry and then turn around and hit again. Targets include me, nanny, dog, baby sister. Usually not dad. I have swatted him back gently a couple times to see if that helps but I don't think that made a difference and I don't like doing it as I feel it sends the wrong message.</p> <p>Any advice? Any better way to discipline him? I feel like he lives in time out right now and it's obviously not helping that much. He gets out every day to get energy out (park, drop ins, gymnastics etc) and I spend at least 2-3 h of one on one time with him (without baby sister) a day. </p> <p>It's embarrassing and frustrating and exhausting.. I don't know what's to do! I feel like I'm bending over backwards to give him the attention he needs and nothing helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-child-complaining-about-gift-kind-of-long-sorry#post-2895810 Thu, 29 Aug 2019 17:58:12 +0000 Chuckles 2895810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to get some second opinions of how to handle something. Long story, sort of short :) My son was upset after his first day of 1st grade because two other classes were given a "first day of school surprise" of a fancy multicolored pen and a notebook. His class got a pencil and page of number stickers. To be fair, I understand why he was upset and wish the teachers had coordinated together. But I tried to use this as a time to explain that not everyone gets all the things all the time, even if it's disappointing. I mentioned it to my parents the next day. And told them specifically that I tried to use it as a teaching experience.<br /> Side note: DS is an only child and has plenty of toys. But I wouldn't call him totally entitled or spoiled. He's pretty good about thinking about others, not demanding toys, and sharing.<br /> So yesterday a wrapped gift and fancy multicolored pen showed up on our doorstep (from my parents). First, I was annoyed that they ignored the fact that I wanted to teach him to not feel entitled to all things, all the time. But I was planning to give him the gifts. UNTIL... he looked at the small wrapped gift and said, "the other classes got big fat notebooks and this is just something small." WHOA. No way. So I told him he needed to appreciate the things he had and be thankful and that he could not have the gifts that day.<br /> So now I'm trying to think of how he can either earn them back or whether he should just get to open the gift and get the pen tomorrow. (he was very upset yesterday but hasn't asked about them today yet) I thought about making him choose 2 toys to donate, in addition to calling my parents to say thank you. But maybe I'm being too harsh? I don't know. WWYD? </p>