https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 11:05:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogacy#post-2882153 Fri, 26 Apr 2019 07:44:00 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2882153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pagerelvy33: That's so wonderful - congratulations! Enjoy every moment of this time, it's so special and it's really awesome to be part of something so amazing. I felt more love and gratitude during our surrogate pregnancy than I think I've ever felt in my life before or after! :heart: </p> <p>All is good here - we are looking forward to seeing our surrogate again next weekend and we can't wait! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogacy#post-2882152 Fri, 26 Apr 2019 07:40:53 +0000 pagerelvy33 2882152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: It is not..:) We went abroad for surrogacy. We could not budget it here in the US.<br /> But nonetheless, the journey has been amazing so far. Our SM is already pregnant!!<br /> How are you doing??<br /> xx </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogacy#post-2877437 Wed, 20 Mar 2019 10:08:29 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2877437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pagerelvy33: Definitely exciting! I haven't heard of WCOB - is it local to where you live? Sounds exciting that you've met with the potential GC. Everything is in process! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogacy#post-2877436 Wed, 20 Mar 2019 10:04:31 +0000 pagerelvy33 2877436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: Thank you for noticing my comment! :) I have signed with WCOB. I am not sure anyone has head of it here though.<br /> It is my first time dealing with surrogacy de, but everything seems to be going alright. Fingers crossed!<br /> We have just had our first meeting with our SM. The agency is responsible for the matching process, so we have waited for them to invite us back so we can meet the woman! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogacy#post-2877422 Wed, 20 Mar 2019 09:07:01 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2877422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pagerelvy33: Welcome! I've blogged a lot about our surrogacy experience and it was such a wonderful highlight of my life. Which agency did you sign with? Where do you stand in the process? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogacy#post-2877420 Wed, 20 Mar 2019 08:55:01 +0000 pagerelvy33 2877420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If anyone is new here as well, I am going through surrogacy right now. it was something I have never thought about. But after being through 5 m/c we have decided that it is what we have to do. We have signed with an agency, did not choose to go independently. So yeah. It is not as scary as one can imagine :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-friendships-change-during-if-how-would-you-deal#post-2769046 Mon, 21 Aug 2017 18:10:20 +0000 goodnightelisabeth 2769046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: Thank you &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-friendships-change-during-if-how-would-you-deal#post-2768938 Mon, 21 Aug 2017 10:57:44 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2768938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel for you so much. It stings tremendously and when something similar happened to me, I will admit that I got pretty angry and very bitter. </p> <p>My only advice is to give yourself some space. Don't feel pressure to be this person's sounding board for her pregnancy; I would hope that she will understand why you can't do that right now. For what it's worth, I skipped every single baby shower that I was invited to during my infertility journey. Not a single friend held that against me, and I think they understood that sometimes you just have to protect yourself and do what's best for you at the time. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-friendships-change-during-if-how-would-you-deal#post-2768848 Sun, 20 Aug 2017 19:03:10 +0000 goodnightelisabeth 2768848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much for these perspectives!</p> <p>@gingerbebe: I totally appreciate how you have experienced both sides. I keep thinking to myself, "Will I get pregnant soon and be able to see this with more clarity?"</p> <p>@erinbaderin: I really do think you are right, I don't think they were intentionally trying to hurt me. It's just that that was never the precedent set in our friendship - big news was always through phone call or in person. Looking back, I wish we would have talked about it at one point and asked each other what we would be comfortable with as far as giving the news for whoever got pregnant first! At least I learned from that, and I'm going to have that conversation with another friend who just told me she's starting to TTC. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-friendships-change-during-if-how-would-you-deal#post-2768716 Sat, 19 Aug 2017 12:19:51 +0000 erinbaderin 2768716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For what it's worth, I spent five years trying to get pregnant and when my friends got pregnant I want them to tell me by email or text, and I give that advice a lot to people here asking - it gave me time to gather myself and feel my sadness before having to be happy and excited for my friend. I believe they really did mean to spare you and make the news as easy as possible for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-friendships-change-during-if-how-would-you-deal#post-2768661 Fri, 18 Aug 2017 21:40:45 +0000 gingerbebe 2768661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@goodnightelisabeth: I went through 3 years TTC and major surgery and two miscarriages before I had my first child. We had friends go through IF and pregnancies at different points in that journey. So I can relate to both sides.</p> <p>I think part of this is that pregnancy itself is really hard. Even though I had worked very hard to get pregnant, I hated pregnancy and I had a particularly rough one. I bitched about being pregnant allll the time. There's a lot of whining and commiserating and venting involved.</p> <p>There's also a lot of obsessing and gushing over names and themes and items and birth methods and everything else. Ultrasounds and gender reveals and what not.</p> <p>Neither of these things - the good or bad - are things I would ever super intensely share with a friend going through IF. So your friends may be distancing out of fear they will offend and also because they don't want to have to downplay their happiness. </p> <p>From the standpoint of being the one going through IF, it hurt when a pregnant friend sorta distanced themselves but if I was being super honest it was hard to hear about their pregnancies even when I was crazy excited for them. It just made me heavy and sad. And I think my friends knew that.</p> <p>I think what's important is communication and grace. I think u should call your friend and talk about it openly and honestly and just say I care for you but this is hard. You don't have to resolve it but just say can we be honest and still be committed to being friends even if it's weird right now? And tell her she can totally whine about being sick and pregnant if she will let you cry when you're down sometimes. </p> <p>My husband and I went out of our ways to be happy and excited for our friends when they got pregnant because we felt like if we didn't make the first move to make them comfortable the relationship would suffer. We sent flowers and cards and we texted regularly to check in and see if we could bring over dinner or something to make things easier. I might have skipped a baby shower here and there depending on how I felt but we always sent large gifts with heartfelt cards. I always turned the conversation to their baby and asked all the questions about nurseries and themes and all that so they felt comfortable to talk. And when those babies were born we were among the first to get called and it was awesome.</p> <p>If your friend is still in the first trimester I would give her space to get through morning sickness and anxiety. Second trimester should be a lot better and once they know gender you can have more fun things to talk about. </p> <p>Hugs to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-friendships-change-during-if-how-would-you-deal#post-2768640 Fri, 18 Aug 2017 18:41:00 +0000 goodnightelisabeth 2768640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could really use some advice about how to deal with what I am going through right now. I will give you a quick background - my husband and I have been TTC for 2+ years. Infertility testing found a bunch of hormonal issues and endometriosis. I recently had surgery after a long wait. We were almost cleared to start TTC again, but some hormonal issues that we thought were fixed have come up again. It's been incredibly frustrating, draining, and emotional that we have had so many barriers for such a long time, and still may have a long road ahead.</p> <p>About a year and a half into our journey, our close friends started TTC for a few months and decided to get some testing done because they couldn't handle the wait. They had listened to what we were going through and decided to be proactive - no problem. Long story short - after comparing fertility battles, they got pregnant naturally within a year. All of a sudden, the people who said they'd be there for me through our struggles and my surgery were nowhere to be found because they had gotten pregnant.</p> <p>I'm happy for them, but I don't know how to deal with this. It feels like a huge transition in our friendship. It's incredibly odd to not be sharing this part of our lives because they think it's too awkward to talk about it, especially after the amount of advice they asked us about infertility. The worst part is they told us the news via text, even after inviting them over several times, they didn't even bother with a phone call. When we said we were hurt by that, they apologized and said, "We didn't want to upset you because we've been there and know how it feels." But they haven't been through what we've been through.</p> <p>Any advice for the transition in a friendship like this when going through infertility? We haven't seen them in person yet, and everything just seems so strange and I don't know how I will react. I'm afraid others will alienate us because they won't want us to dampen their happiness for the new pregnant couple.</p> <p>My husband is so positive about things while trying to commiserate with me, and he doesn't want me to isolate myself. I just don't know what to do or how to maintain normal friendships while I'm going through this - like I've completely lost myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/our-problem-with-infertility#post-2766922 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 01:38:20 +0000 Elle_watson 2766922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I agree with the part you mentioned that infertility is hard on marriage, yes it is definitely very hard and this is the time where you can make or break a relationship and imagine the heartache the other partner will go through if she/he has been left by the other because of this particular problem, couples should try and avoid such conflicts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/our-problem-with-infertility#post-2766921 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 01:35:11 +0000 Elle_watson 2766921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rosy: like it is said that it takes two to tango the same way fertility works and the responsibility is shared by both the partners, if you blame one of them they might feel depressed, its an emotional as well as a very personal issue that can cause a lot of heartache as well as marital problems if it is not dealt with carefully! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-your-help-pcos#post-2762244 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 07:00:22 +0000 superfine 2762244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think all depends on how tough your PCOS is. I also used to have quite a lot of extra weight. My OB prescribed me metformin and it helped me to eat less and reduce my weight. When I lost up to 25 kg, I managed to conceive. I will advise you to watch your diet, hun. Try to consume less crabs. You may also work out regularly to loose weight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/our-problem-with-infertility#post-2760232 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 09:26:58 +0000 BSB 2760232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You shouldn't blame your partner for infertility but as someone who went through it, it can be difficult not to. But sometimes in IF there can be diagnoses that are male or female related. If the marriage is in a good place, there shouldn't be any blaming but more understanding. Also, Infertility is hard on a marriage. Have you considered going to marriage counseling? I think whether or not there is a male or female IF diagnosis, talking to a therapist about the doubts and fears while going through the difficult journey is best for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/our-problem-with-infertility#post-2760223 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 08:10:12 +0000 megank 2760223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's not right to blame your partner for infertility issues. That is the time when both partners need to understand each other's emotional needs and be there for their partner. The thought of blaming the partner or leaving him/her for infertility drives me crazy to the point I would start screaming. Because I have seen this happening with many women around me. I can't stand the sight o such men/women who leave their partners in such tough times and have from time to time stood by the women who had been a victim of this monster and the inhumane attitude of their partners. I am sorry if this post comes out aggressive or rude. It is not meant or directed towards any individual. But towards the sick mentality that has affected so many houses and lives around the world. It's time for us women and men who are going through such tough phase to stand by each other. Let's be the support that we all need and deserve. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-your-help-pcos#post-2757134 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 12:14:14 +0000 ineebee 2757134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Immediately after the blood tests came in and my OB discovered I had PCOS, she referred me to an RE. We tried some IUIs but then eventually got pregnant with IVF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-your-help-pcos#post-2757119 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:35:46 +0000 KT326 2757119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I told my OB we wanted to TTC she immediately referred us to an RE. I have PCOS and a history of no cycles at all. I was 27 when we started. </p> <p>For DS1 it took 8 medicated cycles and we finally found success with IUI and injectibles (follistim). </p> <p>For DS2 we were able to skip to IUI and injectibles since that is what worked the first time. It still took 2 cycles to get pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-your-help-pcos#post-2757110 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:17:15 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2757110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have PCOS and conceived with 2.5mg Femera and an IUI. I am 21 weeks. I saw an RE for treatment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-your-help-pcos#post-2757105 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:10:29 +0000 WhiteDragon 2757105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi! I have PCOS and this is the main reason why my hubby and I can’t conceive a baby. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early teens. I had very irregular periods and was a little bit overweight. When I was in my 20s, I managed to reduce some weight, but gained again in my 30s. I do have some loose weight. I tried to do some fitness, but I didn’t help me. I also have very irregular periods. Is there anybody here with PCOS? How did you manage to conceive? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/our-problem-with-infertility#post-2756553 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 08:34:41 +0000 janaprokesova 2756553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rosy: so true, when you married your partner you married their misfortunes one should not blame them but try walking with them in this hard times. in this day and age there are many treatments that can help them out and there is counselling. they should strengthen there bond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/our-problem-with-infertility#post-2755493 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 06:57:44 +0000 rosy 2755493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it ok if one partner blames the other for some infertility issues? It isn't his/her fault, infertility can be caused by environmental factors. Even if it is not, You don't have the right to blame or leave your partner. You should stand beside him/her until he is completely healed. We all must face infertility with all our strength. We need to spread awareness about this monster. I hope a good life for every woman. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-bother-you-if-your-dh-was-a-sperm-donor#post-2651767 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 12:29:13 +0000 lemondrop 2651767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not a problem for a close family member. I worked for a family who did this. The father had testicular cancer, so his brother donated for their last two kids. I'm not in touch with them anymore, so I don't know how it played out at all as the kids got older. </p> <p>@agold: That is very cool! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-bother-you-if-your-dh-was-a-sperm-donor#post-2651705 Sat, 12 Nov 2016 23:59:14 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2651705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd probably be ok with it being in the family, but I don't know about others. Just my honest gut reaction. It's not something I've ever seriously considered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-bother-you-if-your-dh-was-a-sperm-donor#post-2651461 Fri, 11 Nov 2016 17:48:08 +0000 JenGirl 2651461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't bother me at all. I think I would be fine with it for a stranger or for a close friend/family. Especially since my husband's brother is an identical twin! I wouldn't think about that child as my husband's child or him as their father. As far as I'm concerned, your parents are the people that raise you, far more than the single cell of a sperm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-bother-you-if-your-dh-was-a-sperm-donor#post-2651454 Fri, 11 Nov 2016 17:13:37 +0000 Aqualov 2651454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone whose husband makes no sperm and who wants a family, I'm happy that there are women who are okay with this. Not judging those of you who don't, but until you get to a place where it's needed, you have no idea what it means. Before we found out about DH I thought we would never in a million years consider it. Now I thank my lucky stars there are selfless men (and their partners) willing to help people fulfill their dreams of a family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-bother-you-if-your-dh-was-a-sperm-donor#post-2650778 Thu, 10 Nov 2016 13:24:51 +0000 Boogs 2650778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had this discussion with DH and he would personally never want to do it, I was surprised not even for his twin brother if it ever came up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-bother-you-if-your-dh-was-a-sperm-donor#post-2649184 Mon, 07 Nov 2016 13:13:09 +0000 Mama Bird 2649184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had this discussion and would be OK if it was someone close to us, but not with anonymous donation. Life is so uncertain, I'd feel weird if one of us had a child out there and we didn't know if they're being treated well, if they're in some very bad situation and no one is looking out for them... very unlikely because most likely they'd be in a loving family, but it did bother me (and DH, when I pointed it out to him).</p> <p>I still think it's a great and very generous thing to do. Talk about holding two contradictory opinions at once! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-bother-you-if-your-dh-was-a-sperm-donor#post-2649180 Mon, 07 Nov 2016 13:00:15 +0000 Portboston 2649180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all. There are so many people out there struggling with IF, I would be proud if he decided to help someone.<br /> I registered to donate my eggs years ago but was never selected. </p>