https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 20:21:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2838013 Sun, 05 Aug 2018 08:37:05 +0000 LindsayInNY 2838013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@QBbride: @Iced Tea: He’s the one who doesn’t think it’s necessary or, I guess, didn’t find her overly helpful to him?</p> <p>@Iced Tea: I chalk it up to her being French (the OB) lol. I’ve been at this hospital before and know the nurses will respect my birth plan. As it gets closer I’m going to make sure she’s aware of my wishes too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2838008 Sun, 05 Aug 2018 06:58:30 +0000 Iced Tea 2838008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@QBbride: I kind of agree. My husband appreciated our doula more than me!</p> <p>@LindsayInNY: I just wanted to say that YOU should be the queen in the room when you're giving birth. I'm still traumatized from treatment I received from someone who felt she should call the shots and I should simply obey. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837914 Sat, 04 Aug 2018 09:58:31 +0000 QBbride 2837914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: DO IT! Even as a Support person for your husband etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837910 Sat, 04 Aug 2018 08:58:00 +0000 LindsayInNY 2837910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@QBbride: So the cost of my coworker would be whatever thank you gift we would send. It would cost nothing to use her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837886 Sat, 04 Aug 2018 00:44:40 +0000 QBbride 2837886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an unmedicated birth with my second and I didn’t have a doula. I would have loved one but it’s definitely possible to have a great L&amp;D without one. But... if it’s in the budget, go for it! Definitely doesn’t have any downsides!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837872 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 22:14:39 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2837872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pollywog: at least with my doula she made it her business to know my preferences, my limitations inside and out without judgement. If there were things she wanted me to consider or I asked for further explanation she would tell me the possible outcomes and tradeoffs. In the example you gave about the monitoring I am almost 99% sure if you had my doula she would have given you a high five for going with the ball option, but respected your decision if you went the other way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837859 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 21:33:48 +0000 Pollywog 2837859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had two unmedicated births without a doula. I feel like it's a lot of effort to find the right fit and my husband knows how to support me better than anyone I hire.</p> <p>Birth #1 was crazy intense and at a teaching hospital.i arrived in transition and was a hot mess. Had I had a doula I would have given birth on the side of the road because labor happened that quickly and I would have waited for her before leaving. The delivery room was so packed and I was so in my zone that the only thing I needed was someone to advocate for me. My husband nicely made it clear to just let me do my thing and leave me alone. There's nothing a doula could have done to help </p> <p>Birth two I got to the hospital before labor started. It was a gentle, easy labor. He did counter pressure during contractions. Transition was only a few minutes and pushing was easy. I think a doula would have made it worse because she wouldn't have known my full set of preferences like my husband. For example, I hate the monitor straps. They irritate me to no end. But labor stresses my babies out and they are necessary. The nurses offered me the wireless monitor, but it required me to lay still in bed for 15 minutes and then still wear the straps. DH knew I physically couldn't do that, but realized I could stand and sit on a yoga ball with the wired monitor. A doula would have pushed the wireless, which would have resulted in me being in the same position with the same straps and 15 minutes of torture.</p> <p>So for me, I'm glad we saved the money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837785 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 13:54:59 +0000 LindsayInNY 2837785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: The main OB I'm seeing is French. She also commented on a 6 lb weight gain in one month. Not repeated gains, just a one time thing. So it's just how she is. There are 3 other OBs who could deliver me though. I know the practice is very vocal about lowering c-section rates, for example. I'll just keep feeling her/them out about being unmedicated. DH was unphased by her comment and said "well, I'm king." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837783 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 13:48:30 +0000 PawPrints 2837783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had one for my first birth, but it was so fast she didn't even get there in time. So we went without for my second birth. To me, it would come down to how much I trust the practice to respect me during labor, and to be honest that "I'm the queen" comment is a red flag for me. Please give this a read if you haven't seen it: <a href="https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/evqew7/obstetric-violence-doulas-abuse-giving-birth" rel="nofollow">https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/evqew7/obstetric-violence-doulas-abuse-giving-birth</a></p> <p>The image I can't get out of my head:<br /> Many doulas have similar stories, and often they only feel comfortable sharing them anonymously. An unnamed Alabama doula, speaking on the “Birth Allowed” podcast in 2017, described seeing a doctor straddle a laboring patient from behind as she leaned over her hospital bed. The doula says her client had declined a vaginal exam, and that the doctor told her, “So, this is how we’re going to do this,” before pulling up her skirt and forcing his hand roughly into her vagina from behind. “If that had happened outside of the hospital, he would be in jail,” the doula said. “We had all these witnesses. It was a sexual assault, and it was very sexual, the position of his body.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837781 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 13:46:03 +0000 Alba4 2837781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a doula for #1 and had a successful unmediated birth. It was a very healthy, uneventful pregnancy and all went smoothly.</p> <p>For #2, I had a complete placenta previa and was on modified bed rest until week 36. I was cleared for a vaginal birth and didn’t have time to hire a doula at that point. I tried for another unmediated birth, but I really had a hard time with labor once I made it to 8 cm. There was no tub either, only a shower, and quite honestly the tub is the best! I got an epidural (which was amazing), and literally delivered an hour later. It was a super calm birth and every bit as special.</p> <p>I have a feeling I would have made it unmediated had I hired a doula, but in hindsight, it didn’t really matter too much. I was thankful to have a healthy child after all the pregnancy drama. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837775 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 13:18:19 +0000 Foodnerd81 2837775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn’t have a doula either time, but delivered at the same hospital and practice both times, which was very pro unmedicated delivery. I almost feel like I had a doula with the first though because the nurse was so great and supportive and was the one who suggested I wait when I asked about an epidural- which was just what I needed since I was so close. My second time the nurse was way less helpful but it didn’t matter since delivery was way way faster. Probably a doula would have barely made it in time anyway. </p> <p>So I’m with your husband that if you are on the fence, And feel that the hospital is supportive, save the money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837769 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 12:50:46 +0000 bhbee 2837769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: i think less time pushing is guaranteed unless you have an uncommon presentation! I think you’ll know when to go in but definitely be prepared that it could go fast, you never know. This is the probiotic I took this time, by no means do I think it’s guaranteed but I really wanted to avoid that iv and it was recommended to me. Also it gave me peace of mind this time knowing that last, I was only at the hospital 45m tops and couldn’t have gotten the full dose of antibiotics anyway.</p> <p>ETA yes i took it once per day </p> <p>[attach=4253/18/pcwc8m.337x600.6581CA30-564E-4CCB-8DBA-E1F7DDB08B66.png] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837768 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 12:39:35 +0000 LindsayInNY 2837768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Oh interesting! I'll take less time! Certainly less time pushing, LOL. But good to know so I don't hang out at home for too too long. Didn't know a probiotic would help - what kind did you take and when? Daily?</p> <p>@Becky: I'm with you - I think the nurse's role is HUGE. This is a "baby friendly" hospital and they were so supportive of no medication last time. I was surprised. You make a lot of good points, which I think is where my husband is at. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837767 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 12:23:39 +0000 Corduroy 2837767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: We had one for the first and not for the second. My first labor was long and traumatic and I honestly couldn’t make myself decide or plan anything for my second birth. He came so fast there’s no way a doula could have gotten there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837764 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 12:02:28 +0000 Becky 2837764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think having a midwife or good doctor is plenty (and honestly your nurse makes the biggest difference). You and your husband have both been through it before and will be much more prepared. I got anepidural the first time after an intense induction. The second time I had a natural birth and it went so quickly. There is nothing anyone could have done to help me through the rough part (transition), and you’ve already pushed a baby out so know how to do it and won’t really need guidance beyond what your doctor or midwife offers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837761 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 11:38:28 +0000 bhbee 2837761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: my ob says half the time is reasonable guess for a second vaginal birth. I got 1/4! Also i only had gbs+ for my first - totally possible since it comes and goes. I did take a probiotic the second two times in third tri. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837753 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 11:03:48 +0000 LindsayInNY 2837753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I brought it up Monday actually... I casually slipped it in when asking about doulas. My OB basically said up to me on a doula - she's seen great ones and bad ones falling asleep. And reminded me she's "the queen" in the room during L&amp;D (I guess she's had some bossy ones in there before?). But I threw in the unmedicated part and she didn't say anything. The practice as a whole is very limited on interventions, especially c-sections. And, TBH, I found it was more the hospital and nurses being supportive of my wishes that mattered.</p> <p>@MrsADS: Water broke 1-2 a.m., got to hospital 9:45ish at 4cm, starting pushing at 3pm. The GBS antibiotic was probably the worst of it? Well, and the long pushing, but I'm hoping it's better/easier this time! So not super fast but not super long either?</p> <p>@bhbee: There weren't any complications per se. I had GBS so the antibiotic was a pain since I couldn't move around and was stuck in bed for a lot of it. But otherwise I feel like it went fine? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837747 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 10:15:51 +0000 bhbee 2837747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: if your first went relatively smoothly, I'd probably lean no if neither of you are really sold. I think most people have quite a bit shorter labor (if your first was long) which makes a huge difference, plus you just know what to expect so there's less freaking out :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837744 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 10:10:52 +0000 MrsADS 2837744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a fast delivery for my 1st- but with epidural. With my 2nd, I was induced and had an (unplanned) unmedicated delivery. Things went SO fast, honestly I don't see that a doula would have been helpful, for me personally. I didn't want anyone to touch me or talk to me. Maybe it depends how your first birth went. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837741 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 09:55:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2837741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Idk if I would hire a doula again. My first birth ended up being a scheduled cesarean and even though I’m cleared for a VBAC I’m not sure I would choose that. </p> <p>How does your new OB practice feel and support your desire for an unmedicated delivery? That would weigh heavily into whether I felt I need the extra advocate and support in the room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837737 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 09:39:48 +0000 periwinklebee 2837737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tried to get one when I found out that I would likely only have the option of a natural birth due to low platelets. However, the ones that had been positively recommended to us were already booked, so I didn't end up hiring one. In the end I'm glad it worked out this way because we saved a lot of money and my labor was very straightforward and fast, so I don't think it would have been that helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837733 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 09:10:41 +0000 LindsayInNY 2837733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: That's kinda my thought (everything you said!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837720 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 07:56:12 +0000 bhbee 2837720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had one for our first and loved it - really helpful. So we booked one for our second also and while I don’t regret it, didn’t turn out very useful. We moved so couldn’t use the person we loved, my labor ramped up fast so the person we booked couldn’t even get there. Their backup came and by that point I was in transition and it was almost over so all that person did was take a few pictures. Definitely not worth what we paid but I know the point was to hedge our bets if labor was long again. I might have felt differently if we could have used the one from our first. </p> <p>We are not using one for our third, I’m hoping it’s a non issue again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unmedicated-birth-doula-or-no#post-2837716 Fri, 03 Aug 2018 07:42:59 +0000 LindsayInNY 2837716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used a doula when I had DD and had an unmedicated birth. DH and I are on the fence about getting one this time. It would be a different doula (a coworker who happens to be one), same hospital, different OB practice, will just be the 2 of us in the room otherwise. DH doesn't think we need one and that she was only moderately helpful last time. Obviously things could be different with this L&amp;D but I'm undecided whether we really need one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boston-area-bees-anyone-use-a-postpartum-doula#post-2782391 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 17:37:29 +0000 bhbee 2782391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two! I’ll wall you :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boston-area-bees-anyone-use-a-postpartum-doula#post-2782387 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 17:02:02 +0000 periwinklebee 2782387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd like to hire someone to come a couple times a week for the first couple of weeks after birth to help with adjustment to breastfeeding and any questions we have about postpartum recovery and infant care. Just wondering if any bees in the Boston area have a postpartum doula recommendation, as it seems a bit difficult to glean much information about different services from google... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-doula-or-not-which-is-sort-of-to-try-to-vbac-or-not#post-2750566 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 20:06:15 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2750566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: aw I'm sorry, that really sucks. Any chance of going to a different hospital? Or maybe having your DH sort of prepared with the right words/birth plan? I dunno. I think if I really really wanted a VBAC I would just pay the money and try to make the most of the services and if it were a loss because an emergency section had to be done, so be it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-doula-or-not-which-is-sort-of-to-try-to-vbac-or-not#post-2750560 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 19:55:41 +0000 MrsSRS 2750560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Postpartum doulas are great after RCSs because you have baby and big sibling and you need care also. I'd ask around and see if someone would take you as a VBAC client and if you don't go into labor roll it over into only postpartum hours instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-doula-or-not-which-is-sort-of-to-try-to-vbac-or-not#post-2750552 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 19:41:24 +0000 sojellybean 2750552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My emergency section with DD was due to fetal distress. My midwife thinks I'm a good candidate for VBAC because baby was so small, she just didn't tolerate labor well. Currently 30 weeks with DD2. That said, I will eventually schedule a section for 41 weeks if nothing has happened or before then if DD2 shows the same growth issues as DD. No one has pressed me to make an appointment yet. I personally couldn't spend the money on a doula with all the what ifs swirling around my head (many sound like yours!) I really wish it was something I could have done but I figure I will do the best I can with my husband and midwives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-doula-or-not-which-is-sort-of-to-try-to-vbac-or-not#post-2750545 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 19:32:28 +0000 pastemoo 2750545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Having gone through #1 with the CS after a very long labor, that cs wasn't even that bad. Yes, the VBAC recovery was easier, but a post-labor cs is just not all that much worse, so I wouldn't use that as a reason to schedule an RCS. That's just what I would do for me, everyone is different. :)</p> <p>Also re: processing, I had a lot of stuff going on at the same time, and it was very hard for me to even process "I am pregnant" let alone "I am going to have a baby" so it was great to have a doula! </p> <p>If you feel like you had a great experience last time, but just want the VBAC recovery, you could totally go without the doula. </p>