https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:25:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881235 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 21:54:21 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: :heart:<br /> @shabang: :heart: There are lots of ways to help even if you can't actually foster. One thing our agency is looking into is putting together a list of people in the community who would be interested in contributing in various ways in order to make foster parents' lives easier. That could look like help with transport, a meal train for families with new placements (especially newborns, or sibling sets, which can be overwhelming with no preparation and no time off), babysitting or even just play dates. Also, the CASA program is always in need of volunteers and that is a great and less time consuming way to truly make a difference in a foster child's life.<br /> @youboots: I haven't seen it yet! I really want to.<br /> @graceandjoy: If you can't make it to an info session, call the agency and ask if you can come in for a chat at a better time on your own, or if there's a different way to get info. Most agencies are really eager to sign on new families, and will make it work for you!<br /> @Mrs. Carrot: I get it. We are in a 1 BR with a loft (where we sleep) right now and it is SO CROWDED. I don't always feel like I can give the kids everything they need either between work, school and DW traveling so much right now. But I am reminded every day that we are doing better than some, and that a safe place is really what they need. I hope you keep thinking about it! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881147 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 11:55:07 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2881147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much for what you do, and for this post. Fostering and possibly adopting has been of big interest to DH and I. We agreed we'd wait at least until our daughter was school age, so we're there now, but we're still living in a 2BR condo and both WOH, so we've felt like we need more space and time to truly support the kids who need it most like these. Thank you for the inspiration! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881141 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 11:42:15 +0000 graceandjoy 2881141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: The meetings that I know about are currently all at really awkward times and need some serious finagling. But I really need to try to make one work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881134 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 11:17:27 +0000 youboots 2881134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just watched Instant Family this week. I’ve always been interested in respite care since my friend foster/adopted twins. We need to go to an informational session at some point but it feels like we are always in some sort of transition.</p> <p>Thank you for all you do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881127 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 10:37:20 +0000 shabang 2881127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This post breaks my heart. @Mrs. Turtle: Thank you for what you do! </p> <p>I wish we could help but we can't be foster parents right now. I'm going to use this post to spur me to do some investigation and find a local org for a donation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881086 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 08:35:23 +0000 graceandjoy 2881086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: Yes, I've definitely looked into foster to adopt. But I think once we get deeper into this, I would not want to turn away kids that just need fostering too :heart: :crying: I just hadn't really thought we are good candidates for fostering since we both WOH, don't have a lot extra (I know you don't need to be rich to foster, just didn't think we have the extra funds to do it esp when our kids are still young). But you guys are def turning it around! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881085 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 08:33:53 +0000 gotkimchi 2881085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: my area has a star rating system and basically most daycares are covered here for foster care - in my area you also receive a stipend so a friend basically has a part time nanny she uses for her 2 foster kids. There also here are 3 routes - and one is foster to adopt so basically you only get kids where adoption is part of their plan </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881084 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 08:32:48 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It differs from county to county, and of course from state to state, but in our area if the kids don't go to EHS or HS, they are eligible for childcare assistance through a county wide nonprofit. It is income based, but foster children qualify because the only income counted is the state subsidy you receive for them (not the foster family's income). So there's that too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881081 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 08:21:29 +0000 graceandjoy 2881081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I would 100000% hope they would give assistance! That's another thing too. I would love to adopt as a long term goal; plus that way if I am adopting a baby/toddler, I know I am just paying for daycare once. With fostercare, I wouldn't be so sure if I can feasibly pay on-going daycare. </p> <p>This is motivating me to finally attend an info session somewhere, so thank you everyone!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881078 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 08:06:34 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2881078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: @SweetCaroline: At my son’s old daycare I knew of at least one foster mom- every few months I’d see her carrying in a new infant or two. The daycare was on the higher end cost-wise for the area. I figured she received state assistance for the childcare costs or the daycare gave her a discount- first responders and teachers received a 12% discount already. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881074 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 07:40:39 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: haha, we have the same problem in our house with talking about emotions ;)<br /> To me it sounds like it's still open for discussion and maybe in the future it'll happen. She's probably right as far as doing it now. It would be particularly hard on DS to have kids come and go at his age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881070 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 07:04:41 +0000 wrkbrk 2881070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: She doesn't really talk about her emotions the much haha so all I can get out of her is, we don't need to jump into something like that when we have enough on our plates. Not a good reason IMO. But DS is only 3 and I was thinking older kids when he's older so I have time ... haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881055 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 22:13:15 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: @wrkbrk: What are their reasons for not wanting to do it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881054 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 22:12:49 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: @catgirl: I think I'd just keep having the conversation. Believe me, it isn't something you want to do with a spouse that isn't in it with you, at least somewhat. DW was on board to begin with, but didn't realize how hard it would be, how unfair it would feel when the system didn't work the way we thought it should, and how long everything takes. I wish we'd known more going in, even though it may have made it so she wasn't on board. I wouldn't try to change minds, just keep having conversations and hope maybe they open up to it eventually? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881045 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 20:44:23 +0000 catgirl 2881045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Much like @wrkbrk: I am really interested in fostering but DH is not currently open to it. I was able to get him to go to an information session in the fall, which felt like a huge step but it didn't change his mind. I'm not quite sure how to change his mind - or if it's fair to change his mind? </p> <p>It's obviously something we both need to be okay with but it breaks my heart that he doesn't want to. We keep it as an ongoing conversation so I'm really hoping that one day he will be open to it... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881043 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 20:33:06 +0000 wrkbrk 2881043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: That is just terrible. Plus you’ll eventually suffer from compassion fatigue doing work like this :( Yet so many kids need you and people like you! I’m hoping to persuade DW yet. She won on the only kid thing so it’s my turn to get what I want and I want to help. We have the resources! PS If you open your shelter I’ll donate :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881040 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 20:25:53 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: I get it. If my DW had known what it was really like she never would've done it. And she will probably be the reason we stop. Unless we can take a break and she forgets... then I'll start snuggling babies again. I want to open a group home for medically fragile, failure to thrive and other neglected or abused babies. We've had 4 calls in the last week, every case worse than the last. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881038 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 20:22:36 +0000 wrkbrk 2881038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: ❤️</p> <p>I’d really really love to foster but I can’t get my DW on board :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881010 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 16:12:26 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: Good! It's worth checking it out. I know there is a ton of variation between agencies and counties, so look into all of the options in your area and find one that offers help with appointments and visits. They're definitely out there. Our agency is small and rural and we even have a part time transporter, so I know it's not too uncommon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881008 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 16:10:10 +0000 graceandjoy 2881008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: I see! Now I'm very interested to see how much support where I live offers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881007 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 16:08:53 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: Nope, licensed day cares are always an option, as far as I know! We also approve backup caregivers, so if you had family or friends interested in helping out with care, we finger print them (at our expense) and approve them as backups for up to 72 hours at a time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881006 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 16:06:29 +0000 graceandjoy 2881006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Ahh! That makes sense. I have a bunch of info sessions that I need to commit to attending!</p> <p>I thought they weren't allowed to go to daycare b/c of the whole respite thing where only authorized people can babysit! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2881005 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 16:05:04 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2881005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: @SweetCaroline: In our area, foster kiddos are put at the top of the wait list for programs like early head start, head start, and a few other childcare programs. Some agencies help with transportation to visits/appointments, and those can often happen during school hours when the child can be transported directly from school to the visit or appointment. We have a single mom who fosters school age kids and works full time. She has some flexibility for important appointments, but we also do a lot of help with transportation for her kids. Obviously, if you wanted to foster newborns, it would be harder because most day cares don't take them when they're super little. But it is usually do-able. I'd say the best/first thing to do would be to call various agencies in your area (look up foster family agencies) as well as calling the county CPS office directly, to find out what sort of help they offer for transport and visits. Every county/agency does it differently so you never know until you call. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2880996 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 15:08:23 +0000 graceandjoy 2880996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I've asked in some other venues too but felt like I still don't understand. I follow some foster care mama's and also I feel like there are so many different appointments to go to, I am not sure if it's feasible for our family. </p> <p>I'm mainly looking to adopt long term wise, but I was just not open to fostering only thinking that we "can't"... But if there's a way to, I'd love to look into it too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2880993 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 15:06:11 +0000 SweetCaroline 2880993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: yes! I have the same question as @graceandjoy: especially since the waitlist for a full time infant daycare spot is about a year in iur area. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2880992 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 15:04:47 +0000 graceandjoy 2880992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: </p> <p>This is a year I'm supposed to explore fostering/adopting. Things have been hectic lately and I've put some things on hold, but your post is encouraging me to get back into it. </p> <p>Can I ask you a question? How do parents who both WOH foster? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/foster-care-psa#post-2880990 Tue, 16 Apr 2019 14:54:18 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2880990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm overwhelmed with the number of babies I've had to say no to lately, especially medically fragile babies, abused babies, starved babies. All in the last month. I can't post on Facebook because our community is too small and I'd be violating confidentiality, but I wanted to put it out there. If you've ever considered being a foster parent, even if it's just respite help or something, please keep thinking about it. Make that call, look into it in your area. We need more homes, and more importantly, more GOOD homes. We need parents who are on top of it, who already know how to advocate for these kids. Our agency alone has placed 18 kids in the last 4 weeks. Those are only the kids we've been able to say yes to, and we are in a VERY rural area. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-make-you-want-to-become-a-foster-parent-what-would-make-you-decide-to-foster-teens#post-2875206 Wed, 06 Mar 2019 14:33:05 +0000 poppygirl15 2875206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am interested in one day being a foster parent. I haven't read all of the responses, but I wanted to say that one of my big hesitations is time. I am a FT working mom and I barely have time to handle the needs of my two kids. I would worry about the time commitment of court hearings and potential therapy, in addition to school obligations. If that were addressed, that might be helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-make-you-want-to-become-a-foster-parent-what-would-make-you-decide-to-foster-teens#post-2874449 Fri, 01 Mar 2019 09:23:20 +0000 Litebrite 2874449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: Yes, I think a mentorship program would be valuable.<br /> Or, what about soliciting help from the community in non-fostering ways? Such as asking for donations or tutors, etc? That could engage people and get them familiar with the system and other foster parents, and help encourage them to eventually foster. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-make-you-want-to-become-a-foster-parent-what-would-make-you-decide-to-foster-teens#post-2874447 Fri, 01 Mar 2019 09:14:27 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2874447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Blythe: We haven't, but I like your thinking! In our area our population is a bit too small, I think, for this to be effective. But I bet it would be a good strategy in a more populated area!<br /> @alphagam84: That makes sense, thanks!<br /> @Mrs. Lion: I love hearing about your experience. I'm so glad that age group has worked well for you. It's so good to hear the positive stories.<br /> @Litebrite: I think this is key. I've encouraged our agency to set up a mentorship program that matches current, seasoned foster parents with potential foster parents. So far, nothing formal has happened, but I really think this would help some of those people who would like to do it but are worried about support (or lack thereof). </p>