https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 08:33:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/chores-2#post-2928152 Tue, 11 Apr 2023 12:30:53 +0000 LadyDi 2928152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What chores do your kids do around the house and what are their ages? Do you have a good system in place? I need to step up my chore game, particularly for my almost 8 year old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/reasonable-price-for-house-cleaning#post-2915950 Wed, 27 May 2020 23:50:03 +0000 ALV91711 2915950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have someone coming to give us a quote tomorrow. I have never hired someone to clean and am wondering what is reasonable? And what frequency?</p> <p>I just can’t keep up anymore with working at home and both kiddos home all day. So I told DH we are getting someone until the kids go back to daycare and I go to the office. We’ve never had room in the budget but with not paying daycare we do and I’m kind of excited! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/quick-rant-about-the-whole-mental-load-thing#post-2906159 Tue, 17 Dec 2019 15:57:32 +0000 graceandjoy 2906159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Today is a perfect example of just how much mental load I carry for our family! My mom usually picks DD1 up from school. Usually she lets DH &amp; I know if she could or not might not make it so we can make other arrangements. For some reason, she only told DH yesterday she might not make it today. DH did not mention it to me. So DD1 got left behind at school. Fortunately DH works less than 10 min away and is flexible so he went and got her. DH said my mom wasn't 100%, so it's just a he said/she said thing at this point (like, a quick text at some point could have resolved..)</p> <p>So I told both of them to please loop me in so someone else knows and can double check. Because you bet if I knew, I would have for sure texted her multiple times to re-confirm today. And also would've reminded DH multiple times if he needed to pick up. </p> <p>I AM 31 weeks pregnant so probably extra hormonal, but man I was just like am I the only person that can keep things straight around here? My memory is nothing to gloat about but I have so many lists/calendars to help me keep tracking of EVERYTHING. Esp around the holiday seasons, and it's both of kids' birthdays, and I'm working, and I am proud to say I have let nothing slip so I'm just super annoyed 2 people can't even get one day of pick up straight :meh: </p> <p>End rant! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-smarter-not-harder#post-2897505 Sun, 22 Sep 2019 10:08:49 +0000 cyoung 2897505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you ladies stay on top of things? I feel like I’m drowning haha </p> <p>I feel like I’m always running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. I have 3 under 3 and between trying to tend their needs and also deal with my mental health issues (I’m bipolar and have a eating disorder :( ) daily I feel like a mess. I love my life and I’m happy but some days I’m ready to jump in the car and drive to the beach. I know I should give myself some grace but I feel always behind and like I’m constantly struggling. My son has a speech delay and is possibly autistic. So I’m scheduling appointments and therapy sessions for him a lot. My oldest daughter is going though her “terrible twos.” She honestly just wants more attention so I’m trying to give her some extra. And my newborn is just being a newborn and I feel spread thin. My husband helps a lot so I have him to lean on. He is amazing. I know I should go be myself a break but I really need some tips on how to be work smarter not harder. 3 kids is hard!!!!! Especially so young. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/householdfamilyemotional-labor-responsibilties#post-2890634 Thu, 11 Jul 2019 09:26:48 +0000 jennlin821 2890634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There was a post a while ago (in the last 18mo maybe??) about the breakdown of responsibilties and chores in your own household. I'd like to take a look at it again, I'm trying to rebalance my household. But I remember that people listed several items that I didn't think about or realize I was doing! </p> <p>Anyways, I've searched but can't find exactly the post i'm looking for. Can anyone help? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-husbands-gotten-into-decluttering#post-2866230 Sat, 12 Jan 2019 08:13:38 +0000 Anagram 2866230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Marie Kondo has blown up on my FB feed, in my local mommy’s group, and on here. Have your husbands/spouses/partners gotten into decluttering and organizing and throwing things out/rearranging things without you suggesting it? </p> <p>This article made me question. <a href="https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mby8eb/tidying-up-with-marie-kondo-is-inadvertently-about-womens-invisible-labor?utm_source=vicefbus" rel="nofollow">https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mby8eb/tidying-up-with-marie-kondo-is-inadvertently-about-womens-invisible-labor?utm_source=vicefbus</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-need-to-get-on-top-of-my-house#post-2860080 Tue, 04 Dec 2018 14:30:30 +0000 cyoung 2860080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First I just wanted to say I love this site and people are so kind and helpful! </p> <p>Okay so here is some background info. I'm 5 weeks pregnant and I have a 2 year old with a speech delay and a 1 year old. My husband works night shift most the time and a manager of sorts. Right now he is working "peak season" cause he works for a major packaging/ shipping company and things are busy. I dont see him all week except the weekend. </p> <p>I need help with some household balance. It feels a little chaotic right now. I'm normally a very clean and organized person, but the past few months I've been really slacking. Not cause I dont care but because mentally and physically just feel out of it and exsaughted. I am bipolar and on meds and ADHD so I cant get a bit overwhelmed sometimes. Hubby helps when he can on weekends but right now I have to do a lot. I have a TON of laundry that I need to put away and organize. I also just need to deep clean and declutter. I just dont have a ton of time cause my kids are still at that stage where they need my attention a lot. I try to clean at night when the kids go to bed but I'm so tired I dont do it. I think I'm just out of sorts and need some tips on how you ladies stay on top of everything. I'll have a 3rd baby come next year in August and I need to get on top of everything. Any cleaning schedules, videos or tips would be great! I need some motivation!!<br /> Pic of my kids just cause I think they are cute! </p> [attach=9403/18/pj88uu.600x600.PhotoGrid_1539382550322.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/emotional-labor#post-2859184 Thu, 29 Nov 2018 19:17:09 +0000 gotkimchi 2859184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>here is an article that talks about households and emotional labor that I think describes my experience more accurately then the cartoon one going around. Just wanted to share and see if anyone had any thoughts or insights.</p> <p><a href="https://longreads.com/2018/11/21/who-cares-on-nags-martyrs-the-women-who-give-up-and-the-men-who-dont-get-it/" rel="nofollow">https://longreads.com/2018/11/21/who-cares-on-nags-martyrs-the-women-who-give-up-and-the-men-who-dont-get-it/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-and-chores-what-makes-you-speak-up#post-2839985 Wed, 15 Aug 2018 17:51:14 +0000 Iced Tea 2839985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to keep my mouth shut when I disagree how my spouse handles his chores. But if it affects me and my day, I’m likely to say something. When do you speak up?</p> <p>I swear my husband does the dishes so fast, he must be imagining he’s a ninja. I open it to add something, and it’s total chaos, appears full though it isn’t (on account of being so haphazard), some stuff upside down... Today I opened it and found a pancake stuck to a plate. A pancake. Wtf? How do you not notice that? </p> <p>I haven’t said anything, because I guess it isn’t big enough to me yet. But that pancake. OMG. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/august-goals#post-2839227 Sun, 12 Aug 2018 05:31:17 +0000 Hypatia 2839227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know the month is already under way, but I'm starting a new habit where I write out goals for each month and then revisit them to see how I did. I thought it might help with accountability if I shared them here, and I'd be interested to see what other people's goals are. </p> <p>My goals for August:</p> <p>• Cut food budget in half (ie cook everything in the freezer and pantry)<br /> • Read four books (The Good Earth, A Monster Calls, The Incorigible Children of Ashton Place, and Brideshead Revisited)<br /> • Wake up early (instead of staying in bed until the last possible second)<br /> • Practice my harp everyday for 20 minutes<br /> • Clean out the two closets downstairs (I'm close to pinning signs on the doors that read, "Abandon all hope ye that enter here")</p> <p>What about you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-solve-a-house-tiff-with-dh#post-2819407 Mon, 30 Apr 2018 13:44:10 +0000 codeitall 2819407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Preface: the rest of this is really a rant, the TLDR is give me your chore schedule that your DH actually helps with or help me convince DH that it is perfectly acceptable to have a cleaning lady clean your bathtubs.</p> <p>I grew up in a very neat house. I get very stressed when the house is not clean because I really do feel like it is my responsibility to keep the house up. I also feel that way about the laundry, kids clothes, cooking and the kid's educational time. (I mean really, is it that hard to pick up a book and read to your kids...)</p> <p>Whatever. point is that I had a mental breakdown this weekend. I shouted at DD for making a disaster in another room while I cleaned in the back. It isn't her fault that DH hadn't put the dishes in the dishwasher for two days after saying he would each day, that the laundry hadn't been started, that I hadn't cleaned the bathtubs or bathroom floors since I moved in in DECEMBER.</p> <p>Something has to change, and bless DH, every time I freak out, he steps up and does stuff around the house, but casually mentions all the things I just haven't had time for (filing this pile of papers away, planting the garden seeds, putting away the winter gear, gluing this random toy back together) and I'm DONE.</p> <p>I want to have a printout of chores that need to be accomplished on a daily, weekly, monthly basis that I can hold him accountable to OR I need to convince him that he can get over having strangers clean his bathroom. He has this thing with laundry too, my mother forwarded a load of laundry after DD was born and he got really freaked out over it. So no laundry, fine, but someone still needs to clean my bathroom floors.</p> <p>Thanks bees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/organizedcleanly-people#post-2813228 Fri, 30 Mar 2018 19:22:09 +0000 gotkimchi 2813228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you have any tips or tricks? Do you use a schedule or do one thing each day? I constantly feel like I’m drowning in dishes, wash, and cleaning. My husband and I both work full time and it seems like the only options are to sacrifice any me time or sleep etc. A cleaner isn’t an option right now :( and besides, I really need daily help lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-run-the-dishwasher#post-2816048 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 01:21:30 +0000 Hypatia 2816048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was talking with a friend and she mentioned that her husband is annoyed with how she runs the dishwasher 2 - 3 times a day, and they're considering buying paper plates because it might be cheaper than the energy/water/detergent they're currently using. </p> <p>I was kind of surprised that they run it so much, since they're a family of three. But maybe they cook a lot? I wondered what might be average, hence the poll. </p> <p>We are a family of four, and we run it once a day. I run it even if it's only half full, because if I don't, some sort of chemical reaction happens where dirty dishes pile up out of no where. So I run it once at night and empty it in the morning, almost always. What about you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-organise-dinner-through-the-week#post-2805913 Fri, 23 Feb 2018 15:47:52 +0000 Nutella 2805913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is the two kids, SAHM version....</p> <p>My little ones are 4 and 8 months, DH works long hours (often likes to leave early before we are up and about, and back home at 6-7pm). He will prepare our breakfast for us but the rest f the day is such a scramble! </p> <p>Older LO is at kindergarten 9-3 but LO2 (fully EBF until one month ago when we started solids) is quite clingy and big chunky naps are erratic. Doesn’t love going into the car or pram unless he’s full full so I find myself trying to feed him solids or giving him BF until he calms. </p> <p>Last time we did major meal planning and giant cook ups, but LO1 was a super chilled baby that took epic naps, so I feel it was more possible?!</p> <p>Maybe I just need to toughen up and push through but when baby does nap I feel the need to also take some time out :silly: when my older LO is back from kindergarten I find things are quiet but then it descends into bath time and dinner for them before the never ending bedtime wind down. Frustratingly, older one won’t sleep without hand holding/million stories so I end up having to basically retire myself before he will sleep (so I don’t really feel like cooking after this). </p> <p>Is my only solution when the baby sleeps? What if I he only sleeps on the move from picking or dropping his brother from kindergarten?! I feel like he very rarely sleeps in his cot anymore during the day! </p> <p>Maybe I just need to dedicate a few days to getting the food prepared and ready so we can all have some sanity...I am def not one of these cook on the fly types, I need a plan and I have no time to dream up recipes or ideas at 5pm with two demanding children :bummed: </p> <p>Any help or suggestions appreciated! I feel like this is my least fave part of staying home, I have very little interest in cooking, so I want the most efficient way 😂 I pray I’m not the only one haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-tips-on-reducing-dishes#post-2803544 Sun, 11 Feb 2018 18:30:06 +0000 gotkimchi 2803544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to do most cooking and home and we pack lunches everyday. This is usually leftovers - so it generally goes in a Tupperware. So all of that + the kids 900 meals a day makes a million dishes. Any tips to deal with this? Or does everyone just drown in dishes like us :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/martyr-dh-how-to-deal#post-2798659 Sun, 21 Jan 2018 16:52:21 +0000 DesertDreams88 2798659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is a wonderfully selfless person with an easygoing attitude who spends most of his life helping others. I deeply appreciate his selflessness/easygoing-ness and I tell him that often.</p> <p>HOWEVER. Sometimes his selflessness causes frustrating situations. He often "martyrs" himself unintentionally, over-committing his time &amp; energy and then gets depressed / tired because he hasn't prioritized self-care or work / family responsibilities. I often try to help him see how he brought it on himself unnecessarily, but, he continues. I don't have a lot of empathy at this point.</p> <p>Two examples:<br /> 1) Last week I took a nap. I fully planned on putting away dishes &amp; laundry when I woke up - two chores I actually *enjoy*. He *knows* I enjoy those things, and they are "my" chores. Instead, he did it while I was asleep, to "help me out." But then later on he complained about how he didn't have time to do his grading, and was stressed out for the last 2 hours of the evening. </p> <p>2) Today I asked him to put acid in the pool and anchor the some shelves, two things only *he* can do. Instead, he hung up the laundry and cleaned the pool, which were 2 things our babysitters were going to do tmrw during naptime, like they do every other day (so this is nothing new). It's 2:30 pm and now he's cranky because he didn't eat lunch and he's "behind" on his work (teaching stuff and a side business.) And now I'll feel like a nagging b*tch if I remind him about the 2 things I actually asked him to do. </p> <p>These kind of things happen at least weekly, where he goes out of his way to be helpful (truly, it is a desire to help, not get attention or praise) but then ends up staying up too late then and/or putting off his own, more important things. Then, ultimately, his tiredness &amp; crankiness impacts our relationship. </p> <p>Anyone have a similar DH? How can I help him prioritize better? Or how can I deal with the fallout of crankiness and lack of sleep and try to maintain some semblance of empathy....? Maybe I'm just venting here, I don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/washing-sippy-cups-in-dishwasher#post-2776819 Sun, 01 Oct 2017 20:42:18 +0000 meadow 2776819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, yes, I know this is a first world problem....but I'm thinking some mom in this community has BTDT.</p> <p>I love washing sippy cup parts in the dishwasher and dislike washing them by hand. I had been using the good 'ol Muchkin dishwasher basket which I put lids &amp; valves inside and straws in the straw holder outside. </p> <p>Then we got a new dishwasher this weekend and I am so pumped about the 3rd row. It has one of those flat drawers on the top which I have been putting spoons and sippy cup lids on. It is great not to have the basket take up a good chunk of space in the dishwasher - but now I don't know what to do with the straws. The silverware area looks like they'll shoot out.</p> <p>Anyone have experience putting the straws on the top rack? Any good hacks for keeping them from flying around the dishwasher? </p> <p>I would really be sad to have to go back to hand washing them.</p> <p>Thanks!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/you-should-have-asked#post-2738309 Mon, 22 May 2017 07:21:15 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2738309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was having a conversation with a friend about being the parent who manages all of the logistics of the house the other day and how hard it was to explain to DH the sheer number of things I keep up with in my head, then I ran across this comic this morning and it explains it so well. Anyone else the only "household manager" for their homes?</p> <p><a href="https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/" rel="nofollow">https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-mom-life-moreexciting#post-2684855 Mon, 23 Jan 2017 07:49:29 +0000 Picnic 2684855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a three year old and about 6 months ago became a stay at home mom. While there are a ton of things I love about being home, I am starting to feel really bored with life. The days feel very full (busy and rewarding), but repetitive and long. How have you moms kept your life exciting/fun after you had a little one? Thanks Ladies :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-i-cant-do-everything#post-2664307 Mon, 12 Dec 2016 14:34:02 +0000 tiramisu 2664307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm feeling so overwhelmed and resentful of my husband. It's sad, I love the holidays but the added stress is really putting me over the edge. We both WOH and have two little ones...a 2 yr old and a 7 month old. The baby was a preemie with a long hospital stay and I'm sure the stress of that was not fantastic for our relationship. My DH is generally a good husband and father. He helps out with housework, yard maintenance, and laundry but I feel like it's not enough. I think what makes me especially upset is when Im doing laundry/dishes/cleaning and he's just lying down watching TV! Is this just me that gets mad about this? My toddler also has a huge mommy preference so I have to do the dinner/bath/bedtime routine while he gets to drink his beer and eat dinner in peace. I feel like i need 10 hands in between alternating nursing the baby and running after the 2 yr old. If the baby starts crying while Im busy with the toddler, his idea of comforting him is sticking his pacifier in his mouth. But sometimes the poor baby wants to be carried and walked around so of course he keeps crying until I come get him.<br /> When the kids are napping I try to do the gift wrapping, buying, grocery shopping, getting the 2yr olds food ready for daycare and other regular household chores. Alot of times DH decides to take a nap too! It drives me nuts. I'd love to nap but there's so much stuff to get done, especially with the holidays. How does everyone else do it? My resentment is at an all time high. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/home-management-binders#post-2636437 Thu, 13 Oct 2016 19:11:44 +0000 SweetCaroline 2636437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I've seen home management binders on Pinterest for a while now. Like all thing Pinterest, mine won't be nearly as beautiful, but I think it's time. I think I'm going to make 2 binders: one used everyday (meal planning, bill paying, etc.) and another one kept up-to-date for emergencies (details of insurance policies, etc).</p> <p>Do you have anything like this? I'd love to hear about it or see the links of resources you referred to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-never-ending-to-do-lists#post-2614852 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 14:24:51 +0000 brownepiano 2614852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This might be the type A in me, but I always have a running list in my head of everything that needs to be done and I have a hard time turning it off. That doesn't mean I get to everything! I used to write lists so that I could stop trying to remember it all, but I stopped actually checking my lists so I don't do that anymore. </p> <p>How do you cope? What do you do to get things done and still allow your mind to relax? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-how-do-you-manage-it-all#post-2563840 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 13:09:08 +0000 babynumber1 2563840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With summer here, the last thing that I want to do is spend all weekend running errands and chores. Typically did laundry during the week and deep cleaning on the weekend, and saved most of our errands for the weekend. This is just not working for us now. My new tactic is to cram it all into the week and enjoy the weekends. </p> <p>How do WOHM do it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/division-of-labor-at-home#post-2541450 Wed, 04 May 2016 18:28:54 +0000 MrsSRS 2541450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you have one SAH parent, and WOH parent, what household duties is the WOH parent responsible for daily/weekly? I think we fall outside the norm, and I'm wondering how far... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recommendations-for-alternatives-to-ironing#post-2525388 Thu, 14 Apr 2016 19:08:22 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2525388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are one of the few people I know that still iron. My DH wears button down shirts, and insists on ironing, even the no wrinkle ones. Since we have a toddler and I'm dealing with major pregnancy sickness, I've been out of commission for 2 days. I'm looking for ways to make our lives easier. I tried a hand held steamer, and it did nothing. Any other alternatives to ironing? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-do-the-majority-of-the-housework-at-home#post-2487078 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 07:55:57 +0000 cat620 2487078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>what does your SO do? </p> <p>I'm a SAHM, so I don't mind the majority of the housework falling on me. I do the laundry, the dishes, cooking, tidying up, shopping, and most of the childcare. I have a cleaning lady who comes to do a deep clean, but I feel like I still have a lot to do, especially with two kids under three home with me full time. Sometimes, it's hard to keep up with everything. </p> <p>I get irritated, because I think of everything I wish I had time to do. Like our garage is a huge mess. It's full of boxes that need to be recycled, bins that need organizing, and stuff that needs to be donated or thrown away. Some of the closets are messy in our house. The backyard needs some TLC. I feel like my SO should help out and do these things, but he gets lazy when he's home. On the weekdays, he's too tired from working to do any chores beyond helping with the bedtime routine. On the weekends, he wants to relax or go out and do stuff, so before I know it, it's Sunday night and nothing has gotten done. We hire someone to cut the grass, so his only chores are scooping the litter box every other day (takes 2 minutes) and taking out trash if he walks by a full bag on his way to work in the morning. He'll do little things like help me carry something heavy upstairs or bring in groceries from my car, but that's it. I want to know what other SOs do out of curiosity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dads-share-the-load-ad#post-2475145 Thu, 25 Feb 2016 17:30:49 +0000 Freckles 2475145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJukf4ifuKs" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJukf4ifuKs</a></p> <p>Have you guys seen this video? Only 2 minutes, but such a powerful ad. Made me a little teary!</p> <p>#sharetheload </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-was-your-household-balance-like-when-2-arrived#post-2346913 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 12:20:43 +0000 Applesandbananas 2346913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better? Worse? The same? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-get-the-itch-to-disinfect#post-2417287 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 15:15:43 +0000 daniellemybelle 2417287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>...What/how do you clean?? LO has a cold, I feel like our world is very germy, and while logically I know that just frequent hand washing is the most important thing, I have the urge to disinfect! I keep adding random things to my list like my keyboard, phone, her car seat cover... I just want to wash all the things! </p> <p>What do you do when you want to kill the germs? </p>