https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 00:06:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2917028 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 14:35:27 +0000 Umbreon 2917028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kayak: @Mrs. Pajamas: thank you.</p> <p>I responded to them and asked that they inform the doctor that they told me I needed to wait longer (basically everything dr told me was wrong) and said I wanted everyone to be on the same page.</p> <p>I feel like the response was snarky but it might be me reading into it. But I was told dr is aware as its policy and drs dont usually talk about timelines as it's up to the nurses but they did let her know.</p> <p>Honestly I feel like what was the point of my appt with the dr then? Seriously. They made me drive 45 min for an absolutely useless appt where I was given misinformation all over the place.</p> <p>I love that they gave me my son, but this second experience has been awful. Wish I had another option.</p> <p>It would be great to get pregnant before I have to give them any more money. Fingers crossed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2917018 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 09:22:12 +0000 Mrs. Pajamas 2917018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: I totally agree with @kayak. I tried IVF when still BFing DD1 and my RE said it was against policy but she tested my hormones and saw that prolactin was low enough to go forward. Unfortunately I had 2 failed transfers before weaning and then I got pregnant on the next cycle. But I know there are plenty of women that can get pregnant while still BFing so don't give up! Just wanted you to know you are not alone. I totally agonized about the decision and felt it was really unfair. Do what works for you and don't listen to your clinic! There's so much medical data saying BFing and pregnancy are totally OK! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916979 Fri, 03 Jul 2020 02:20:17 +0000 kayak 2916979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on the medications your clinic puts you on, it is completely possible to undergo fertility treatments while continuing to breastfeed. I did for three rounds of IUI to get pregnant with my second. I joined the FB group “Breastfeeding Mums undergoing Fertility Treatment/IVF” and used the resources there to decide what was best for me. You may not be comfortable with it, which is totally okay, but I wanted you to know there were other options. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916919 Wed, 01 Jul 2020 08:28:27 +0000 Umbreon 2916919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: yeah for sure, I was surprised when they asked me to come in person for the appt with the dr, there was no exam or anything. It could have easily been done over the phone, and then my husband could have been there too. I had to go alone.</p> <p> I've been having normal 28 day cycles since february. The nurses said its policy for them not to do an IUI until I've stopped breastfeeding and had two normal periods. But this also meant before they would do any testing for an IUI, bad communication.<br /> They said the prolactin levels can effect implantation. I just dont get why the doctor didnt mention that at all. </p> <p>Maybe we will be lucky and get pregnant naturally since the IUI wont be happening until at least september. I am so conflicted on how to feel about them. On one hand, they helped give me my son, and I'm so grateful. On the other hand I feel I've been jerked around a bit this time, so I dont really want to give them my money anymore.</p> <p>But I want another baby sooooo bad. I've had baby fever since LO was 4 months old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916918 Wed, 01 Jul 2020 08:00:05 +0000 MrsSCB 2916918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: That sounds really annoying -- you'd think that with the pandemic going on, they'd want to be more accessible (i.e. via the phone), not less! Sorry if you said this already, but have you been getting a period yet, even while BFing? Just wondering because I'm still nursing, but my periods have been pretty normal for awhile. Is it that they just don't want to have to worry about any "interference" from BFing stuff, even if you're getting regular periods? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916917 Tue, 30 Jun 2020 15:34:10 +0000 Umbreon 2916917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: covid has made things weird. They have turned the phone lines off and I had to email for an appt. He nurse replied with a link to this online thing and booked me with the dr. I met with the dr, she said to post in the online thing a summary of our appt, and that's when the nurses started contradicting what the dr said.</p> <p>I feel like if covid were not a thing I would have just done what the dr said and all would be well.</p> <p>Do the hormones really affect things that much? Its testing a bunch of hormones on cd 2-4. They said my hormones from breastfeeding will affect the results. I was only breastfeeding twice a day. I just don't know why the dr was not concerned about that. I stopped breastfeeding almost 3 weeks before I expect my next period.</p> <p>Nurses said its "policy". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916916 Tue, 30 Jun 2020 15:18:20 +0000 MrsSCB 2916916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: I'm so sorry, that sounds incredibly frustrating. Why aren't you able to talk to the doctor directly, are they just really busy? I would feel the same way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916914 Tue, 30 Jun 2020 14:28:54 +0000 Umbreon 2916914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"You must have two normal periods before we can go ahead with an IUI"</p> <p>Turns out they meant THREE because they wont even do any blood work or tests on me until after two periods. So the IUI can't happen until after the third.</p> <p>The Dr could have told me this. She told me to stop breastfeeding, get blood tests done next cycle and we would be good for IUI cycle after that.</p> <p>I wish I had another option for clinics. This is the only one in the city. I feel like the nurses and drs need to get on the same page. I wish I could talk to the dr directly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916680 Sun, 21 Jun 2020 10:10:45 +0000 Umbreon 2916680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lahela017: thank you. It has been a tough few days, I've been all over the place emotionally. </p> <p>I realized since I'm at the beginning of my cycle, if I can wean him before my next period, things will still be on track for an IUI in August. So I'm working on weaning in the night first. I guess I'll go the week without feeding him in the night then I'll drop the last one before bed. I havent been feeding him during the day since I've been back at work.</p> <p>I never thought I'd be so emotional about breastfeeding. I never thought I'd breast feed this long either though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916648 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 17:51:22 +0000 Lahela017 2916648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were in the same due date board with our babies, and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you are going through this. Itts so frustrating that you have to wait and you have to wean your little one. I'm know I'm not ready for that yet, so I can understand your feelings about it a bit. Hugs. Thinking of you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916647 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 14:46:09 +0000 Fawn 2916647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. Infertility sucks. There's so much waiting and hoping that things will work out, it's just exhausting. We were diagnosed as unexplained too. This was after we had conceived naturally without any issue, but werent able to get pregnant again. We knew it was possible so it was super frustrating that it just wasnt working out. </p> <p>I'm sorry for the delays, that really sucks! Sometimes it feels like almost everyone can just look at their spouse and get pregnant. And then there are those of us who have to struggle for some reason. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916646 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 14:05:36 +0000 DesertDreams88 2916646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm only going to address a small part of your post... I have PCOS and DH has low morphology and LO1 took 10 months, charting, temping, etc, clomid, met, and progesterone to conceive. I got my cycle back in Jan 2017, weaned him April 2017, and got pregnant with LO2 at the end of May on our first cycle, with the same methods but without clomid. LO1 stayed "weaned" but asked EVERY DAY persistently. I probably could have gone back to nursing in the 2nd trimester, but I waited until the 3rd trimester, and stated nursing LO1 again. I nursed him all the way up through LO2 turning 10 months. </p> <p>So.... it's possible to wean and then go back to nursing. POSSIBLE. Depending on how much LO loves it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916645 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 13:11:57 +0000 Nutella 2916645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: I totally hear you, and feel your pain. I’m so sorry the clinic messed you around like that. Every month feels like an eternity! </p> <p>I also was told to wean but this was before we even started fertility treatment a must acupuncturiat said my body couldn’t do both. I was ok to wean but my little one was sad and I am sad for that fact. </p> <p>We are secondary unexplained IF and mid Iui and dealing with our clinic over Covid has been less than fun. I don’t know what to compare it to but it feels very impersonal and uncaring. </p> <p>It’s been well over a year trying and it hurts so badly when I hear of others falling pregnant quickly, or those I’ve been trying with get pregnant then act like it’s NBD. Have had four in the last two weeks and I too am grateful I can WFH so I can cry 😭</p> <p>@Chuckles: I had this too, although we are still trying. Just when I think I’m over the jealousy and I can be zen about others getting knocked up, I hear a story and it knocks me out again.</p> <p>I don’t even know if I’ll have any friends after this, such a lonely path to walk down. Everyone just assumes we are done with two, and part of me is terrified that we will give up trying and I will never get over it. 💔</p> <p>So sorry again and just know you’re not alone. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916642 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 11:39:18 +0000 MoonMoon 2916642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. What you describe sounds frustrating as hell. I know that feeling of time passing by with each cycle and wanting to get started, whatever the interventions might be. And of course weaning is its own roller coaster. How old is your LO? Huges to you :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916640 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 11:34:03 +0000 agold 2916640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: I'm so sorry. Is it possible to just partially wean so that your period come back? You can still totally nurse and have regular cycles. Just introduce a bottle during the day. Or, for me, night weaning did it. As soon as my girl started sleeping through the night, my period came back. If your period comes back, then no need to disclose that you still nurse your other baby from time to time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916639 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 11:05:29 +0000 MountainBaby 2916639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I so understand. I was devastated with all the waiting. My OB wanted me to wait 10 months after we finished weaning to even refer me to the RE! Then all those cycle timing testing delays. All for a diagnosis of unexplained! And I didn't have any covid complications - that must make this all more complicated! I'm so sorry. Go ahead and have a good cry. I hope things move along as quickly and smoothly for you as possible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916637 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 10:55:06 +0000 oldschooolmama 2916637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice just sending you some love :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916636 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 10:29:30 +0000 Chuckles 2916636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. That does really suck to have to choose between a breastfeeding relationship and getting started on kid number 2. And I agree with @bhbee: about watching it be easier for others is hard. Since I had DD, we are not planning on any more kids. And I thought I was over the being jealous thing, but a coworker told me this week that she's pregnant and they got pregnant pretty quickly. And I was super happy for her and also still sad about it for myself. Even though I don't want any more kids. I'm sending good thoughts to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916635 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 10:20:14 +0000 bhbee 2916635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry. It just sucks, a lot. Every month waiting sucks. Not being able to decide your own timing sucks. Watching it be easier for others is so hard. </p> <p>Sending you all the hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-upset-infertility-sucks-just-a-big-vent-post#post-2916634 Fri, 19 Jun 2020 09:58:28 +0000 Umbreon 2916634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have normal 28 day cycles. I know when I ovulate because I get pain in my side every damn time. DH is healthy. We are both healthy. Unexplained infertility just plain sucks.</p> <p>Why cant I get pregnant naturally? Why? Why is it so hard?</p> <p>I had an appt with the fertility clinic yesterday. She said I have to wean LO. Fine. I was expecting that. I don't want to but I want another baby so I'll do it. I need to get blood tests done, one on cycle day 3 which wont be for awhile as I'm on cycle day 7 now. So next month. Then they get the results and so dr said I could start the IUI cycle after that.</p> <p>She told me to message the nurses through the online portal so they are informed. Covid has changed things up.</p> <p>The nurses informed me today after I wean I need to have two normal periods before they will do the IUI. "Sorry if Dr didnt mention that"</p> <p>I'm just soooo upset. There is no way we will get our first IUI in august like I was hoping. Maybe sept if I am able to wean asap. Which is just a month difference but still. </p> <p>I dont want to wean. I enjoy bfing so much. I just have so many emotions about all this. It just sucks.</p> <p>I guess working from home has its perks and I can take time away to have a good cry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890835 Fri, 12 Jul 2019 12:27:36 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2890835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennibenni: yes, I totally agree. He’s completely on board but just concerned for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890834 Fri, 12 Jul 2019 12:22:34 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2890834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your advice is all so helpful. I read and deeply considered each post. So, thank you all. We have decided to go forward. We have parents who can help us if it gets to that point. We know we won’t still be in our current situation in 9 months. I’m also starting therapy next week to start really working on my anxiety and panic. All of this being considered, we have also made sure that we will find any means we can to provide opportunities and great schools for all of our kids. If I have to work more, so be it! I’m currently considering writing a book, so we’ll see if that might be anything.</p> <p>Anyway, we’re going for it. Leaving up to God or the Universe or what’s “meant to be”. If this cycle fails, we will reevaluate next month. But, I have a strong feeling that it will work. </p> <p>Again, thank you all. I appreciate your honesty. SO MUCH </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890802 Fri, 12 Jul 2019 09:46:18 +0000 fuzzypeaches 2890802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m sorry you are in this position 💕 it is so difficult when the brain and heart do not agree. I’m hoping you feel better either way you decide - feeling anxious and awful is in and of itself such a difficult thing to endure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890741 Thu, 11 Jul 2019 21:06:25 +0000 Jennibenni 2890741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Putting aside all of the other factors you mention, there is no way I would feel comfortable actively trying to conceive if my husband was not 100% on board. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890727 Thu, 11 Jul 2019 19:52:39 +0000 Mama Bird 2890727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, that sounds rough, all of it. I think I'd put TTC on hold in your shoes... For what it's worth, I got pregnant with our third at a really bad time. Things were going wrong left and right (seriously ill family members, a rough pregnancy, work stuff as usual). It was very hard, but we got through it. But financially, we were doing OK. If there was also financial uncertainty in the picture, I don't think I'd have gone for a third. That's where I draw the line between what I can handle, and what makes me panic. Whether rightly or not, my mind goes pretty quickly from "our expenses for May were higher than our wages" to "OMG what if we have nowhere to live?" Adding a maternity leave to an already financially shaky situation... I'd just be scared to go there unless it looked like the financial stuff is temporary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890645 Thu, 11 Jul 2019 10:22:17 +0000 concernedmember 2890645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know you are not in a great place, but I think (hope) you are looking for honesty here. You are not doing well emotionally or financially. You were 100% right to decide to not continue treatments right now. Table this until you are your best self. It sucks that you are concerned about your future fertility, but please re-read what you just wrote. You are 3 months behind on your mortgage - your family could be foreclosed on - this is NOT a joke. You have outstanding bills. You are having panic attacks. Take what you would have spent on an IUI and put it towards debt. Take the energy you are expending towards having a 3rd child (we all know how much that is, TTC is a time and mind suck!) and put it towards finding work and getting back to your best self. The idea of filing bankruptcy being an option (per your previous post) and continuing to try to procreate do NOT jive. It just doesn't make sense to bring another child into this world if you cannot support the two you currently have and yourself. I mean this in both an emotional capacity and financial. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890623 Thu, 11 Jul 2019 08:09:26 +0000 Ajsmommy 2890623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think only you can know what is right in this situation bc for me just the thought of 3 kids is panic inducing. But that is me! As PP's said I'd take a day or at least some serious time to let yourself sit back and process everything.. give yourself a few quiet hours to put things in perspective. Is the job/money shortage temporary? Will you be in a better place in a few months or no? Is it worth it to waste the injections and time already spent on this cycle? If yes for your mental health then by all means skip.. but only you can make that decision. What does the big picture/longer haul look like? What do the next 4-6 months look like? Will things look up and get easier or will they be more of a struggle and being PG might not be ideal??? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890580 Wed, 10 Jul 2019 17:43:49 +0000 bhbee 2890580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I so feel for you and get both sides. But you said yourself this feels irresponsible. I don’t think fertility things will substantially change in the next few months. Maybe take a breather and see how things go?<br /> I will also say, I found the third pregnancy and the baby year with three to be mentally/emotionally challenging in a way I hadn’t felt before. So I think going in feeling good is ideal. Big hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890565 Wed, 10 Jul 2019 15:02:22 +0000 Pollywog 2890565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel for you because I know you want this so badly. A few things to think about-- is the money situation temporary? Do you have a bunch of business coming up that will enable you to get back on solid financial ground by your birthday? Would you be able to afford another kid right now?</p> <p>How does your body handle stress and anxiety during pregnancy? Does it make it worse?</p> <p>If it's a temporary situation I'd go for it. If it looks like you will have to find another job or make major life changes I would hold off. You don't want to sacrifice your health, energy, and stability and that of your children for a hypothetical. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cancelling-my-iui-treatment#post-2890561 Wed, 10 Jul 2019 14:00:00 +0000 pachamama 2890561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I myself get into those anxious "vortexes" and they are truly awful.<br /> DO NOT fret about AMH!! Let's look at the follicle count and the fact you already did some injections. I think you should go forward with IUI. it's a very, VERY simple procedure. I think you should go for it!<br /> What worked for me during my infertility stuff is making a plan- maybe try for 6 more months "all in" then ease up, knowing you truly did all you could? </p>