https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 15:48:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fmla-question-2#post-2917548 Wed, 22 Jul 2020 11:09:51 +0000 winter_wonder 2917548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hypothetical question here. I'm not pregnant, but if I were to take 8 weeks off after birth and then my husband took 12 weeks at a later date would that be allowed? Even if it was say 6 mo after the birth that he would take it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899835 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 10:36:41 +0000 MLE81 2899835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m back again, asking for advice/feedback :). Thanks in advance to anyone who is able to take the time to read and respond!</p> <p>Our second baby is due Nov. 8 and my mat leave “officially” starts Nov. 4. (unless baby makes an early appearance). We live in Canada so I am able to be off for 12 months, mind you with only 55% of my salary in Employment Insurance Benefits. </p> <p>DH has the option to also take up to 5 weeks of parental leave, during which time he would also only receive 55% of his salary. While financially this would make it a tough 5 weeks for us, we can make it work, and we both want to take “advantage” of the opportunity with this baby since this supplemental parental leave wasn’t available when our DD was born. </p> <p>So the question becomes, when should DH take these weeks?</p> <p>Part of me feels like the first five weeks after baby is born will be the toughest and it would be nice to have DH home 24 hours/day to help with the baby and our 3.5 year old DD. However, this would mean that depending on when baby actually arrives, DH may miss out on good overtime opportunities at work which means more $$ for us. He’s a postal worker so November/December are extra busy months with lots of weekend overtime shifts for parcel delivery (he would not be eligible for these shifts if he is on leave). </p> <p>Another option is he could take a week’s vacation from Nov. 10-16, and probably a second week either before or after (depending on when baby comes) using accrued lieu days. He could then return to work until the end of Dec., pick up a lot of overtime to help beef up our finances, and then take his five week leave in January (or any other time within 52 weeks of baby’s birth, technically). Of course, this would mean he’d be working more and around less to help at home in Nov./Dec., but my mom is willing/able to step in to help if/while he’s working. </p> <p>Any advice on what makes more sense from both/either a financial and/or practical perspective? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ny-momslegal-bees-paid-family-leave-fmla-amp-eml#post-2864517 Wed, 02 Jan 2019 16:27:45 +0000 Becky 2864517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're considering baby #3 over the next 1.5-3 years. Long question short: Is there a way to go out on leave before your due date (say a week) and then still get 12 weeks after the baby is born? </p> <p>We don't have PFL yet (gov't organization) but I'm moderately optimistic we will by then. We have Extended Medical Leave instead of Short Term Disability. Current EML policy is that EML and FMLA must run concurrently. EML pays part of your salary until your doctor releases you (so 6 weeks post-partum for vaginal delivery), and you must supplement that partial pay with your vacation and sick time. You must exhaust your vacation and sick time during any leave you take past that 6 weeks too. My coworkers who have gone out on leave since I've been here have only been allowed to take 12 weeks total (to equal what is job protected by FMLA). One went into labor at work, the other went into labor before her due date, so both were able to take 12 weeks postpartum.</p> <p>I'm wondering if you can use EML (say 3 weeks: 1 week before baby is born, 2 after baby is born, also running FMLA concurrently), and then follow it with 10 weeks PFL. This would total 13 weeks of leave, which pushes you one over what's protected by FMLA. (I know PFL increases to 12 weeks in 2021). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/health-insurance-for-newborn-please-help#post-2833778 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 10:45:32 +0000 math.nerd 2833778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need some help on this issue!</p> <p>I'm due with my second child in August and I'm trying to work out health insurance premium issues with my HR department at work.</p> <p>My HR department is telling me that I will need to pay a health insurance premium for my daughter as of the day she is born. The insurance company is telling me that no premium is due for her until 30 days AFTER she is born. So, for example, if she's born on August 15th, she's automatically enrolled in the health care plan - so she's covered - but there's no additional premium payment due. If I choose to enroll her in my office plan and do so within 30 days, then she'll have her own premium payment starting Sept. 15th.</p> <p>My understanding was confirmed by two insurance company employees - but neither of them could direct me to anywhere on their website or any documentation that confirms this. My HR department is saying that this is incorrect and that her first month premium will essentially kick in the day she's born.</p> <p>Does anyone here know of how I can get a definitive answer on this???? PLEASE HELP! Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/us-moms-ideal-maternity-leave-duration#post-2821440 Wed, 09 May 2018 12:41:46 +0000 PurplePumps 2821440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know standard FMLA is 12 weeks which is typical in the US, and then some can extend with vacation/sick time. Has anyone been able to stay out longer with a leave of absence? I believe (and need to double check with my boss who is currently out for a month for his twins) that my company allows for a 1 year leave of absence for any reason so I may have the option to stay out for as long as a year (without pay of course). My husband seems to think that a year is WAY too long and I should or will want to come back before that.<br /> So assuming medical insurance and loss of income can be dealt with, how long would have been ideal for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-work-shut-off-your-accounts-during-maternity-leave#post-2762498 Thu, 27 Jul 2017 16:55:38 +0000 codeitall 2762498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first leave was nothing like this second one. I kept in touch, even did a couple things while I was out.</p> <p>This second one was totally the opposite. They turned off all my accounts, shut down my email, and deactivated my laptop. This made it really hard to keep in touch during a time of big layoffs and a good portion of my friends leaving for better places. And my new manager only knew me for my title (which isn't overly accurate) so I have been really pigeonholed and honestly feel like I've been phased out coming back to work.</p> <p>Supposedly, HR claims that they deactivated my accounts so that there wasn't even a chance I would work while out on Short Term Disability as that could nullify my disability claim. Since we don't have real maternity leave, just short term disability, that may be true. But I'm talking to HR on Monday and am going to cite that policy as a big detriment and part of the reason I am looking for other employment.</p> <p>Have any of you heard or experienced that policy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maternity-leave-need-teacher-input#post-2761731 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 16:04:26 +0000 Teacherbee123 2761731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need fellow teachers to weigh in on my maternity leave options.</p> <p>I had my LO a couple of weeks before school let out. My plan is to take some time off in the fall so I have more time with LO. Originally I planned on starting the year for the first few weeks to get the kids used to my routine, then leaving for 6 weeks, returning near the end of 1st quarter. Many teachers have done this at our school in the past and it has worked well for them.</p> <p>Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I found out that another teacher in my house (there are 4 of us) will be out the first couple months of the year as well. That would mean two of us would be off at the beginning of the year. This makes me especially nervous because our incoming group is rough behaviorally.</p> <p>Now I'm considering delaying my maternity leave, and instead of taking off in September, waiting to take off until the first teacher returns. Basically she would return and then I would leave. This would give me the benefit of being off over the holidays. </p> <p>I worry that two of us being off in the beginning of the year will create the type of chaos that will be hard to overcome, making it a long, rough year. I also worry that leaving right away in the year will make it much harder for me when dealing with behaviors upon my return. I feel like if I'm there an entire quarter before I leave, at least the kids will know me, have a relationship with me, and will adjust better when I come back.</p> <p>I would prefer to be off earlier, but I'm seriously considering whether that's worth the struggle later on. Is it worth it to have that time off early if I spend the rest of the year playing catch up? If this group weren't so rough, and if we didn't have someone else out as well, I don't think I'd be considering this.</p> <p>So, teachers, knowing this, what would you do and why? </p> <p>Btw, administration is very supportive of whatever I choose, and my sub is fine covering me whenever, so those factors don't weigh in. There will be no issues with childcare either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748414 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 14:09:50 +0000 RonjaL7 2748414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm just curious after reading the other post on hourly vs. salary pay, what (if any) sort of paternity leave did your husband have?</p> <p>My husband took 3 months off (all FMLA) after I returned to work but all of it was unpaid. He also ended up on the bottom of the overtime list when he returned (obviously haha) so he had to take a lot of forced overtime. Ironically, if you adopt you get 2 weeks paid at his work, but nothing for birth of your own child.</p> <p>He is a union worker for the local gas utility company. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-cancel-short-term-disability-post-pregnancy#post-2725687 Tue, 18 Apr 2017 10:44:38 +0000 josina 2725687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I currently have the max plan for Short Term Disability to cover maternity leave, costing me $112/month. (Edit: just double checked and it's $56/month).<br /> I just had our 2nd and we are most likely done having babies (I'd like another, DH doesn't, not making any 'final' decision for another 2 years).</p> <p>I'm leaning towards cancelling the plan but then I'm also terrified of an oops pregnancy (I'm on the mini-pill and bf'ing). </p> <p>Wondering what others did after maternity leave? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/short-term-disability-pregnancy-after-miscarriage-considered-pre-existing-condition-help#post-2650288 Wed, 09 Nov 2016 10:51:49 +0000 peachykeen 2650288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So here's a question:</p> <p>My company may FINALLY be offering short-term disability as a benefit (with my first pregnancy my leave was completely unpaid). We have to sign up next week and the benefit would start Dec 1, 2016. The pre-existing condition clause states that you have a pre-existing condition if 1) you received medical treatment, consultation, care, or services including diagnostic measures for the condition in the 3 months just prior to your effective date of coverage AND 2) the disability begins in the first 12 months after your effective date of coverage. So a pregnancy diagnosed after Dec 1 without a pre-existing condition should be covered.</p> <p>I got pregnant in September and miscarried in October. I had an appointment to confirm the pregnancy in September and an appointment with ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage in October. No other prenatal visits, since it was so early.</p> <p>Given that the miscarried pregnancy technically was "diagnosed" in September, do you think they would cover a pregnancy "diagnosed" in December 2016 or in 2017? Does the miscarried pregnancy make a new pregnancy a pre-existing condition? :sad: </p> <p>And would they even KNOW about such a brief pregnancy? (I miscarried at 7 weeks) Do they request past records for pregnancy coverage?</p> <p>(No idea if this is on the right board - sorry!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/return-to-work-certification#post-2645347 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 08:12:09 +0000 FLnative12 2645347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone NOT been cleared to return to work at 6 weeks (or 8 weeks for a C Section)? If so, do you mind sharing how that conversation went with your Dr and what the reasons were? </p> <p>I am on Mat leave with a return to work date of 12/19. If I get clearance to return to work at my 6 week appointment (later this week) I still stay home until 12/19 as planned, but I can't use any more of my sick pay because at that point I am no longer on leave for a medical reason, I am just using FMLA. It would then be a combo of vacation/unpaid time - even though I technically have additional paid sick time.</p> <p>I have a couple of lingering physical issues from labor/delivery, but they are minor and I am not sure how comfortable I am making an issue out of them. At the same time - some more paid time would be nice. </p> <p>Just trying to think it through before my appointment and any experience/perspective is appreciated.</p> <p>Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maternity-leave-for-teachers#post-2640564 Sat, 22 Oct 2016 17:04:53 +0000 DesertDreams88 2640564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>School breaks still count as part of your 12 weeks, right?? How did that work for you?</p> <p>I was out for 12 weeks of FMLA, Jan 19-April 11. This included my spring break. I know based on intermittent leave I could have come back the Friday before spring break and then been on break and started my leave back again after break, but it was hard enough to get my OB to sign off for 12 weeks since he was focused on the 6 weeks of STD. My time was all unpaid but I cashed in my STD insurance and 8 weeks of sick leave. Rationally, we are still employed during breaks, so breaks still count, right?</p> <p>However, I was talking to a teacher friend of mine in another district, and she's due in early November. She said that her HR isn't counting Thanksgiving break or Christmas break, so she gets 15 weeks off. Is this legit? Does this happen? Or did her HR just misunderstand FMLA? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639182 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 14:07:49 +0000 Ajsmommy 2639182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I just had my "informational" call with HR regarding my pregnancy and impending birth. And it was not that great. </p> <p>Before I begin, I know that I am lucky to get any kind of leave at all (which is pretty sad bc I feel like new mothers should get way more benefits). And I know that I have options but I'm just peeved right now and need to vent and possibly get opinions on what you would do.</p> <p>So when I have baby I have to use 5 days of my banked time (if I have it, which I will). Then paid maternity leave kicks in for 8 weeks. That's all fine and gets me 9 weeks at home. I want to take an addl 2 weeks off. Enter FMLA. I can take the extra days off but I have to totally exhaust all of my banked time. So as it currently stands I'll have 8.25 days remaining in my bank, those will be taken. Then when I return to work with a newborn and a 3 yr old in daycare I'll have no days off until I hit my anniversary which will be 2 months away. </p> <p>I just find this so annoying. I'd much rather just take 2 weeks unpaid and then come back to work with my 8.25 days. But that's not allowed per company policy.</p> <p>I asked what happens if I need to take days off for sick kids or being sick myself and I was told that I would be treated according "to company policy" which can mean a verbal warning, a write up and a sit down w management.... like really!?!?!?! This is so frustrating to me. HR said over and over again that I need to make the best decision with the information that I have... (eye roll)</p> <p>I've been with this company for 17 years, I've never run out of days, I've never abused days off and now I can't even get an 11 week maternity leave without potentially putting myself in line for disciplinary actions? </p> <p>So do I suck it up and only do the 9 wks and come back with 8.25 days? </p> <p>Do I use 5 of my 8 remaining and do 10 wks and come back with 3.25 days remaining for 2 months?</p> <p>Do I do what I want and do 11 wks, come back with no days and face the repercussions? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-was-your-maternity-leave-for-2nd-or-3rd-baby#post-2639251 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 15:18:39 +0000 MrsBrewer 2639251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took 13 weeks with my first. I ended up getting a new job during my maternity leave and went back part time. </p> <p>But now I'm pregnant with #2, and being part-time I have zero benefits. My boss is super flexible, and would definitely give me the 12 weeks off (even though the company doesn't qualify for FMLA, only 8 employees) but I don't think we could afford that. I'm probably looking at only a 6 week maternity leave :-( Maybe I can try and stretch it to 8 weeks, but I'm not sure. I will also have a 2 year old at home.</p> <p>How long did you take off for your 2nd or 3rd or 4th, etc? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/short-term-disability-with-aflac-for-maternity-leave#post-2626486 Fri, 23 Sep 2016 11:32:38 +0000 josina 2626486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone used this? I'm wondering how easy/complicated the whole process is.</p> <p>From what I know I get 6/8 weeks but the first week is not paid, and it takes about a week to get all the paper work in order, but deposit is the next day once filed, and will be for the full amount (5/7 weeks).</p> <p>Wish my boss would just give me paid leave and make it easy :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/calling-hr-bees-maternity-leave-policy-to-change-during-my-maternity-leave-due-to-merger#post-2616960 Tue, 06 Sep 2016 22:43:03 +0000 Amorini 2616960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>HR bees and/or those with experience! I'd love some expert and experienced advice.</p> <p>It appears my current employer (12 employees, one state, 2 offices) will be acquired by a much larger company (200 - 300+ employees, 5 states, 12+ offices) in October or November while I'm on maternity leave. (Due date is October 1). </p> <p>In another post, I've written about the leave that I was able to negotiate. Basically, without qualifying for FMLA due to company size, I was able to work out 6 weeks fully paid, plus 2 weeks of my vacation/sick, then a short period of transition time when I could work part-time up to 29 hours (but receiving no benefits). Anyway, this agreement is in writing and he has passed it along to the new company as a condition of the sale. </p> <p>I'm not happy about only 8 weeks away from work but I realize getting paid is unusually good. I could also bring baby to the office and/or work from home in those transitional, part-time 4-ish weeks. My biggest gripe is the time pressure... time learning how to be a mom, time with my baby, time to readjust my whole everything .... I wish there were at least another solid month of leave to rely on since the work culture is so intense and those transitional 4 weeks of baby at office and/or work from home will be a challenge even under the best circumstances... </p> <p>A little more squishy, but the owner/boss said if I never come back full-time that he would have to give my job to someone else. I imagine that he expects me to be full-time again after 12 weeks from start of leave. I've basically turned around my little satellite office from rags-to-riches in 8 (mostly pregnant) months since running it, so I would really like to see him take my job and give it to someone else who can do what I did.... but that's just the badass in me. :wink: I'm just at a point in my career where if I'm not valued, the employer can really eff the hell off, but I digress. Seriously, though, it's been a challenge and quite demoralizing at times negotiating maternity leave with a older, male boss who doesn't get it (as nice and generous as he is attempting to be) and not having an HR person to work it out with. </p> <p>New company is huge, based in TN (where 16 weeks of FMLA leave is the norm!? Go TN!). I'm in GA and, as I mentioned I'm a satellite office so I'm unsure how the new company's maternity leave policy will follow or go beyond FMLA, but I hear that their benefits are much better on the whole. They have other satellites so something tells me they would extend an FMLA-based maternity leave policy equally to satellite employees even with less than 50 people in 75 miles or whatever the rule is. That's what I have experienced in other large national companies.</p> <p>In the next day or two, I will have 30 minutes of time to speak with the new HR person of the big company. Mind you, this merger is still tentative but it's looking very good. I'd like to go in with some idea of how best to advocate for myself. I've tried to educate myself by googling some HR articles but it gets legalese really fast. <a href="https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/tools-and-samples/hr-qa/pages/mergersandfmla.aspx" rel="nofollow">https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/tools-and-samples/hr-qa/pages/mergersandfmla.aspx</a>. What I do understand so far is that I should qualify for any FMLA benefit in the event of a merger since I have been with my current company over a year.</p> <p>So....what should I ask HR? My current employer thinks he has worked everything out and is ensuring me a great leave package. (Actually today someone said in a conference call -- is Amorini going to have time with HR to discuss her maternity leave? Boss said, "oh she doesn't need to, I've worked all of that out for her!" .... argh) I'd like to take advantage of any leave benefit that I can get, to be quite honest, including more non-work time with my LO. I'd also like to understand how I might actually qualify for job protection if I remain part-time for awhile longer or forever. And is there a way to merge the best of both worlds for my maternity leave? (Some paid leave and some extra time guaranteed, plus job protection...)</p> <p>Also what benefits questions should I ask, specifically that help working moms and families? The last time I worked at a company with good benefits for families, I didn't have a baby on the horizon so I can't even remember what is typically offered!</p> <p>Thanks!!! I appreciate it!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/negotiating-maternity-leave-in-high-level-position-small-us-company-no-fmla-or-clear-policy#post-2484252 Fri, 04 Mar 2016 10:58:22 +0000 Amorini 2484252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm hoping for some insights and experiences from mamma bees who have negotiated maternity leave in similar challenging situations as me. </p> <p>I work in a very small US architecture firm. I am one of 11 people -- only 2 of us are women. I started in July 2015 and, in January, I was promoted to run our satellite office when my ex-supervisor stepped down. So essentially, I work by/for myself in a big town and have 10 other colleagues several hours away. </p> <p>The promotion was given to me as stretch opportunity -- all the owners knew I had some transferable skills but also knew I had never done the business development and marketing on my own before! The alternative to promoting me was shutting down the satellite office which they had invested many years and a lot of money in. So it's a "high level" position in the sense that I'm the company face in large region and responsible for getting new work and managing it start to finish.</p> <p>The president said he thought I would need six months to figure out my new role. He runs a very entrepreneurial business -- meaning more than half of us are director/managers who are required to find our own work. (And the other director/managers have 10+ more years experience and connections than I do. My ex-supervisor who quit had 25+ more years of experience and connections than I do.)</p> <p>Enter now the obvious beautiful challenge: I'm 10 weeks pregnant. EDD 10/1. Back in January, we were doing IVF and "knew this could happen," but with IVF you never really know what's going to happen! That's why I took the promotion and "leaned in" (saying that, even though I'm mixed about that expression).</p> <p>Some details:<br /> - We are too small to qualify for FMLA.<br /> - I live in the south -- not CA, NY, etc. or in a maternity/paternity leave-friendly state.<br /> - The firm maternity leave policy basically says "we will take into account the sick and vacation policy and all applicable state and federal laws. Just talk to the president and work it out." So basically it says nothing.<br /> - I'm due a small raise in June to basically affirm I'm doing well in my new role. (End of first tri is Easter.)<br /> - Benefits are crap: no SDI. I will have 5 sick days and about 2 weeks of PTO, but the rest of maternity leave will probably be unpaid. DH has 2 weeks of paternity leave. Paid or not, we can survive and will do what's best for our family.<br /> - The one other woman in my firm has been there for 15 years. Has a 5-6 year old, so she has had maternity leave at this firm but she had other office mates to share her work with. She's a bit aloof and I haven't had many chances to connect with her. Given her firm loyalty, I don't feel comfortable calling her up and trusting her with my news, but I might have an opportunity to have lunch with her in a few weeks before speaking with the president. I'm lukewarm on this idea.<br /> - Just for context, there are two staff with serious (one terminal) illnesses. They essentially work part-time, so I think this says the firm has flexibility.<br /> - We will do daycare or nanny but probably ask my parents to stay with us and provide care until LO is 5-6 months.</p> <p>Some leave ideas...<br /> - 12 weeks, return back FT (already hating this)<br /> - 8 weeks, then 8 weeks PT from home<br /> - 12 weeks, then 4 weeks PT from home, then 4 weeks PT in office, then back to FT at 5 months PP<br /> - or some other configuration that acknowledges that I'm the only one that does my job.</p> <p>What can I expect?<br /> What should I ask for?<br /> When should I talk with the president? (Could I wait as much as 16 weeks?) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nyt-article-a-baby-dies-at-daycare-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon#post-2359250 Tue, 17 Nov 2015 08:20:45 +0000 buttermilk 2359250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As I prepare to return to work in a week and a half, this article makes me shudder. As the author states, "A mother should never have no choice but to leave her infant with a stranger at 3 months old if that decision doesn’t feel right to her." </p> <p><a href="http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/parenting/2015/11/15/a-baby-dies-at-day-care-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/?referer=http://m.facebook.com" rel="nofollow">http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/parenting/2015/11/15/a-baby-dies-at-day-care-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/?referer=http://m.facebook.com</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-watch-a-lot-of-tv-while-on-pamaternity-leave#post-2545139 Thu, 12 May 2016 19:45:00 +0000 regberadaisy 2545139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did! I watched A LOT of HGTV.</p> <p>What did you watch a lot of? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-saved-your-sanity-during-maternity-leave#post-2548163 Thu, 12 May 2016 20:47:46 +0000 DillonLion 2548163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a somewhat difficult delivery, trouble with breastfeeding, and just a difficult adjustment into motherhood at first (everything sort of settled down a few months later, but that beginning part still gives me anxiety to think about). </p> <p>The first time I took LO out by myself was to a breastfeeding support group at my hospital when she was 8 days old. I remember feeling so incredibly happy that I was able to get out and go somewhere with her which meant we'd find our new normal soon enough and I felt like life would relax a little eventually. I felt like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Until that point I was so traumatized about everything. The support group was somewhere I could commit to going each week (if I felt like it), saw friendly faces (nurses, other moms who went each week) and got out of the house, which really helped me deal with postpartum anxiety. Being stuck at the house is a big anxiety trigger for me, so knowing we could easily leave made me feel so much better. It was also super low pressure in terms of being able to just nurse if you needed to, have a crying baby, etc. It couldn't possibly be more welcoming in that regard as well, of course. </p> <p>Anyway, I'm just thankful for that breastfeeding support group! It was a lifesaver for me in so many ways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-you-want-maternity-leave-without-kids-ok-heres-how-that-should-go#post-2541118 Wed, 04 May 2016 13:55:43 +0000 shabang 2541118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This article made my day. And, I think it's a pretty fair assessment.</p> <p><a href="http://yackler.ca/want-maternity-leave-without-kids-ok-heres-go/" rel="nofollow">http://yackler.ca/want-maternity-leave-without-kids-ok-heres-go/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maternity-leave-vent#post-2535674 Thu, 28 Apr 2016 09:04:30 +0000 HazelEyes 2535674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I"m so upset right now. I work in a school system and am about to have my second baby in about a month. I used all 12 weeks I was allowed for J and it took me to the summer--great-- but now I only have 8 weeks left after hoarding my sick days bc we can't afford for me to take leave without pay.</p> <p>My wonderful coworker offered to donate a week of her leave to me, which will get me closer to my goal of taking September off in order to pay only 1/2 tuition for that month/be with #2 until she's 4 months.</p> <p>I submitted to Personnel a request for a leave donation and I'm denied because I have enough leave to get me through 30 days after my "life changing event," thus not eligible to receive short term disability support!!!</p> <p>I feel like I'm being penalized for not using my sick days!</p> <p>That compounded by we're working a week later in June and starting earlier in August. I can't work during the summer (where I usually work an extra 10 days) because its in the middle of my mat leave, so I"m out a paycheck we count on. They just passed a two week paid FMLA leave for next school year that I KNOW they will find a way for me not to be eligible for.....</p> <p>I just feel like I can't win. I don't want to screw the system I just want to be home with my newborn and not go broke.</p> <p> :crying: </p> <p>Thanks for listening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-maternity-leave-did-you-take-for-2nd-child#post-2534886 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 09:31:16 +0000 dc yoga bee 2534886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my first, I took 8 weeks of a combo sick/annual/ advanced annual. It was tough coming back, although I would've felt that way after 6, 8, 12, or 16 weeks I think. LO was colicky, had terrible acid reflux, etc... It's been hard trying to build that leave back up. We are discussing TTC #2, and maternity leave is an issue for me. I looked up how much I have, and in order for me to have 8 weeks again, I need to have a due date of May or later. Which, is fine because I kind of would like the summer off from breastfeeding/ pumping/. pregnancy. Short term disability is not an option for me. So, how much leave did you take for subsequent children? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mat-leave-questions-for-canadians#post-2522760 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 16:08:20 +0000 Goldengirl 2522760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hoping someone knows the answers because the Internet isn't being helpful. For any Canadians out there, do you know if:</p> <p>You need to be currently employed to get mat leave even if you did you 600 hours in the past year? For instance if you quit or lost your job and didn't pay into EI for the next several months, would you still qualify?</p> <p>And also, if you are on a contract job (ie not permanent full time) do you still qualify for mat leave?</p> <p>Am having some concerns with my current role and would love to leave but feeling trapped now. Trying to understand what my options are.</p> <p>Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/go-new-york#post-2513132 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 15:19:53 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2513132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anyone else see this news today? New York just enacted a pretty good family leave law. It will take a few years to fully kick in, but wow. More states need to come onboard with this idea. Go NY!<br /> <a href="http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/03/new-york-revolutionary-family-leave-paid-time-off.html" rel="nofollow">http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/03/new-york-revolutionary-family-leave-paid-time-off.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-shows-did-you-binge-watch-during-maternity-leave#post-2511373 Thu, 31 Mar 2016 10:47:42 +0000 mrsjyw 2511373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>During leave with DS1, parenthood was my jam!</p> <p>During leave with DS2, I just watched random shows, didn't really binge watch anything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-go-out-of-mat-leave#post-2504934 Thu, 24 Mar 2016 06:50:00 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2504934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 36 weeks tomorrow. My doctor's office schedules inductions at 39 weeks.</p> <p>It's getting harder to do my job (involves alot of driving), but I could do it from home as a temporary workplace accommodation. I would like to work as close to my due date only because that would leave more PTO (I have 6 weeks left) to use during the unpaid FML portion and for once I return.</p> <p>When did you stop working altogether and start your leave? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/new-momfeeling-guilty#post-2485799 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 19:42:23 +0000 samsmama 2485799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi guys! I am new to Hellobee and hoping for insight on something I am really, really struggling with. After waiting years for a baby, my husband and I just adopted our infant son in December. We are so in love with him and so happy to finally be parents. I have been on maternity leave for the past few months and will be returning to work next week when he is 12 weeks old.</p> <p>At the time of his adoption, everything happened extremely quickly. We basically dropped everything to travel out of state when we got the call that he had been born. As someone who is very type A, it was hard for me to just leave work one seemingly normal day and then not return for several months. Prior to my son's birth, I was extremely career oriented and really devoted a lot of time and mental space to my job, so it felt super weird at first to completely disconnect. My company prevents access to email during leave, so that was ultimately a huge blessing as it allowed me to focus solely on bonding with my son. I have LOVED being on maternity leave and have surprised myself by thinking very little about work until now. </p> <p>Here's where the guilt comes in..... although I will miss my baby and will so miss having long, lazy days with him, part of me is really excited to return to work now that it is only about a week away. However, whenever I tell anyone I'm about to go back, they are super sympathetic and go on and on about how much I'll cry, how hard it will be, etc. I agree and nod my head, while secretly feeling like a liar and a crappy mom because I don't think I'll cry. I feel SO guilty that I am not dreading going back and that I'm actually looking forward to it a bit. Is something wrong with me or did anyone else feel this way? I should add that his dad and grandma will provide child care during the week, so I know he will be taken care of by people who love him. Sorry for the rambling post, I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that I'm not the only mom who didn't mourn the end of her maternity leave. </p>