https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 16:15:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-miscarriageectopic-ptsd#post-2908500 Thu, 16 Jan 2020 15:19:53 +0000 MrsJBeeG 2908500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: thanks for sharing this article. I definitely struggled after my last loss. I think I’m doing well (besides anxiety that a seemingly healthy pregnancy brings after losses). I do wish more resources and talking about this was more common. It’s a reason why I’ve decided to be open about having losses with others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-miscarriageectopic-ptsd#post-2908498 Thu, 16 Jan 2020 14:04:28 +0000 DesertDreams88 2908498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took me years to realize I had PTSD / anxiety from my 2014-2015 school year. </p> <p>August: School admin changed - lost 2 mentors and direct coworker, new horrible AP in charge of school "turnaround" improvement plan<br /> September: classroom flooded and had to teach in a partitioned library for 5-6 weeks<br /> October: Drawn-out miscarriage: bad betas, bleeding, inconclusive ultrasounds, suspected ectopic....<br /> November: incomplete miscarriage, Dr sent us to ER, had to take misoprotol to finish things off<br /> December: Grandma was hospitalized due to cancer's progression, Christmas plans derailed<br /> January: Grandma died<br /> March: Funeral and diagnosis with PCOS<br /> April: Diagnosis of husband's low sperm morphology</p> <p>So when I got pregnant in May, I felt that danger and calamity was basically lurking around every corner, every new day. It was a cumulative effect. I don't blame just the miscarriage, but especially how drawn out it was and then everything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-miscarriageectopic-ptsd#post-2908495 Thu, 16 Jan 2020 11:31:12 +0000 LCTBQE 2908495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: @skinnycow: :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-miscarriageectopic-ptsd#post-2908484 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 22:38:11 +0000 skinnycow 2908484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for posting. I’m pretty sure I had PTSD/anxiety after my loss. I can relate to the detachment from family/friends as well. I was in a really bad place for a year after my loss and could’ve used some help/support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-miscarriageectopic-ptsd#post-2908483 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 22:04:12 +0000 karenbme 2908483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can totally relate to this. After my first loss I went to a very dark place for the better part of a year. My first successful pregnancy was my fourth, and I absolutely experienced post traumatic stress and had one foot in and one foot out the entire time to protect my heart. DD was born 5 weeks early and on our second day in the NICU, when everyone was trying to explain that the complications that put her there weren’t that bad, all I could hear is “your baby’s heart rate is dropping and we need to keep her here because bringing her home could be dangerous.” I don’t know how many times I said, sobbing, to nurses and residents and even the attending physician that she is our fourth baby, and I need to know she’s going to make it. </p> <p>Pregnancy loss is trauma, no matter how early it happens. It’s crazy, as the article points out, that there’s no built in support in the management of loss. I needed help, but when you really need the help you also have the least ability to go out and find it, which is why screening and referrals are so important. If you’re in it now, I’m sorry, you’re not alone, you will get through it, therapy can help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-miscarriageectopic-ptsd#post-2908469 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 16:45:27 +0000 bhbee 2908469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="https://people.com/health/women-miscarriage-ectopic-pregnancy-may-develop-long-term-ptsd/" rel="nofollow">https://people.com/health/women-miscarriage-ectopic-pregnancy-may-develop-long-term-ptsd/</a></p> <p>I thought this was interesting data - something rarely talked about, the duration of mental health effects. I’m not sure what the qualifications are for PTSD but my last loss absolutely changed me. The feelings of hopelessness mentioned were more pronounced in the beginning, but the mention of detachment from family and friends really struck me as that was much more long lasting. </p> <p>Mainly posting to raise awareness - if this feels familiar to you, you are not alone :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904582 Thu, 05 Dec 2019 10:04:13 +0000 Shybee23 2904582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks again all. Sorry to hear how many others have been through this, but grateful not to be alone. I did stay home today - I still feel like crap and am so weepy, I can’t imagine being at the office. Kept my son (18 months) home too - he always cheers me up. I’ll head back to work tomorrow although I am dreading anyone asking how I am or why I was out - I hate crying in front of people. I’ll probably just keep my door shut as much as I can and try to get through the day. </p> <p>For going forward, can anyone recommend a particular ovulation test kit? I used digital last time but that’s too $$$ when I have no idea what window we’ll even be looking for. Thanks again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904440 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:45:16 +0000 LCTBQE 2904440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shybee23: so sorry to hear this :heart: like everyone has said above, you're not alone. I had two in a row before getting my son, and I was in a hole for a few months, it's devastating. re trying again: with my first m/c, I had a D&amp;C, got my period about 3.5 weeks after the procedure, and then we tried again after that. I did get pregnant again, but it didn't stick and I miscarried naturally at about 6 weeks. It was awful but after I passed the tissue, it wasn't anything more than a regular period in terms of physical symptoms. </p> <p>My OB told me to wait another cycle, I ignored her and tried again when I ovulated 2 weeks later after m/c #2, and that was when I got pregnant with my son. His pregnancy was textbook and totally fine (although I was absolutely terrified the entire first tri). I was charting and knew exactly the day I ovulated, so that's how I dealt with the OB's dating issue, which you could try if you felt up to it. There are a LOT of women here who tried again immediately after a miscarriage and got pregnant that cycle, and also a lot who waited a cycle or two if they felt like it. The dating issue, IMO, isn't really a great reason to wait if you're wanting to try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904419 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 10:38:14 +0000 skiierchck99 2904419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shybee23: My only mc was very early - 6 weeks. I think it took about 3-4 weeks to test out the hcg. They recommended I wait one cycle to try again but with IVF so probably a different scenario. Hugs - it sucks for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904417 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 10:16:29 +0000 Jellyfish 2904417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs :heart: so sorry for your loss. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks. It happened naturally but while I was on vacation in a foreign country so was particularly traumatizing. Physically I bled for about a week, my Hcg went back to normal pretty quickly but we waited a cycle to try again. Emotionally I was a wreck and cried a lot. Please let yourself grieve. It was a lonely time because no one knew about the pregnancy and my husband, while supportive, just didn’t feel the loss as deeply. Just know that it will get better as time goes on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904409 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 09:55:02 +0000 JennyPenny 2904409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. Even knowing how common it is, it's still surprising when happens to you :( I had two losses this year, one at 14 weeks and then an early CP. I did wait a whole cycle after the later loss. It took a long time for my HCG to go down (I was testing regularly with cheapies) but I was temping the whole time. I saw that I ovulated 6 weeks later and had a period 2 weeks after that so everything was normal from ovulation on. I doubt ovulation tests would have been reliable for me since I still had some HCG in my system when I ovulated. Since my 2nd loss was so early I didn't bother testing out HCG and just used ovulation tests. I ovulated right on time and did end up pregnant that cycle. It's a little bit weird to basically give my miscarriage date as the date of my LMP this whole pregnancy but I'm still glad I went ahead and tried. I personally like to have all the information about my body so in your case I'd probably test out HCG and go ahead and do ovulation tests and maybe temping just to be confident on what's happening this cycle. But I know not everyone likes to go all in like that. Best of luck &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904406 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 09:54:17 +0000 graceandjoy 2904406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shybee23: That sounds like a great idea :heart: Something to always remember baby by! Or maybe print out a quote you really love, frame it and put it in a special spot in your home :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904403 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 09:47:42 +0000 Shybee23 2904403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all so much. I really appreciate everyone’s words - this is a great community ❤️ I did spend some time scrolling Pinterest and instagram and found a lot of nice quotes and things that resonated with me - bookmarking them for the next few weeks. So funny how the words of strangers on the internet can express things just right, when it’s hard communicating about this loss to people in my own life.</p> <p>One thing I’m struggling with a bit is the feeling of a lack of closure - it’s not like a “regular” death where you have a funeral and everything. I wish we at least had an ultrasound picture but it was too early. Thinking of getting a bracelet or something with the birth stone of the due date month because it just feels like I need to do something physical to mark the loss. Thanks again for the support and best of luck to those of you who are trying or currently pregnant ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904400 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 09:44:09 +0000 graceandjoy 2904400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss :crying: It's totally ok to be however upset you need to be! There is no right or wrong way to go through this, and we are all here if you need to "talk" :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904396 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 09:38:21 +0000 BUNBUN 2904396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so so sorry for your loss!<br /> I miscarried in August at what would have been 10 weeks, but the baby probably stopped developing around 5 weeks as we didn't see what we expected at the 8 week ultrasound. I did not need D&amp;C; it happened on its own. I started spotting, then heavy period bleeding, some even heavier "bleeding" for a day, then back to period bleeding. It all lasted about a week. We ended up DTD a couple of weeks later not to "try" but for ourselves. We ended up pregnant! I'm 13 weeks along.<br /> I'm a scientist, so the science behind miscarriage in humans (common compared to other mammals) helped me cope, but there is no wrong way to grieve and no timeline. I hope you can share with some supportive people, but you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm finding the miscarriage easier to talk about now that I'm past my first trimester. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904385 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 08:52:13 +0000 skinnycow 2904385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: That's beautiful.</p> <p>I did the same thing with instagram/pinterest quotes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904384 Wed, 04 Dec 2019 08:50:42 +0000 skinnycow 2904384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry. :heart: Miscarriage is one of those things that you just don't understand until it happens to you - I was also surprised by the level of my grief. </p> <p>Give yourself time to heal. If trying again immediately helps, then definitely do it. Getting pregnant and having my rainbow baby are the only things that totally healed my pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904352 Tue, 03 Dec 2019 21:48:04 +0000 bhbee 2904352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: My phone is still full of instagram-y quote images from the month or so after our last loss and I also found them comforting. </p> [attach=4253/19/q1yvs4.338x600.6075A06C-D911-44F6-9754-457D205C24BA.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904349 Tue, 03 Dec 2019 21:23:49 +0000 SweetCaroline 2904349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shybee23: i am so very sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in April and it is still fresh in my mind though we are blessed to be 16 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby.</p> <p>I had a D&amp;C and the hormone changes were SO brutal and impossible for me to discern my true, rational feelings from hormone driven emotions. They were all real feelings though. I bought myself a beautiful journal and wrote a lot, until I didn't feel like writing. I looked to Instagram and Pinterest for quotes about grief. Sounds so petty, but those outlets were able to put into words what I was feeling better than I could, and certainly better than anyone around me.</p> <p>I'm still so sad that I won't get to hold that sweet angel in this life. I bought a beautiful Willow Tree figurine that helped me move on while still allowing me to have that baby as a physical presence in my life. My husband told me in a very eloquent way that someday, we would be pregnant with a rainbow baby that, without losing this baby, we never would have met this beautiful rainbow baby. Some days that made me want to throw things (I wanted THAT baby!), but most days it brought me peace. </p> <p>We waited 2 cycles ONLY because we had a D&amp;C because of a fetus that stopped developing at 6 weeks but the loss wasn't detected until 9+ weeks. Because I was absolutely certain of my dates, I came to terms with the need to have a D&amp;C quicker than I, myself, would have if I was unsure of my dates.</p> <p>Thinking of you during this awful time. Please keep reaching out as you walk this road. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904344 Tue, 03 Dec 2019 20:56:18 +0000 ttcgirl 2904344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry you are going through this. I also miscarried and was surprised what a physical toll it took. I think I bled for about a week and was generally tired and not feeling myself during that time. I hope you can give yourself the space to grieve, it is common and you can try again and all of those other things people say, but it also still really sucks to go through. We waited a few months to try again, but that was based more on circumstances specific to our situation, I think you should do whatever feels right for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904342 Tue, 03 Dec 2019 20:48:40 +0000 bhbee 2904342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry. I found all my losses hard but the earlier ones my hormone levels dropped more quickly which helped me move on. We never waited a cycle and my first was the month after an early loss. After my d&amp;c my hormone levels took a while to drop (didn’t get a negative test until 6w later when I got AF) and I was so, so deeply sad until then. I felt so alone in real life but did find great support here. But it will get better even if it takes time. Hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904328 Tue, 03 Dec 2019 19:58:08 +0000 MrsJBeeG 2904328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so so sorry to see your post. I’ve had a few miscarriages and it wasn’t easy. I went the natural route the first two times and it took awhile for the HCG to drop. It was a physically and mentally painful time. But it does get better. I found that i knew when I was ready to try again - so listen to your heart and your body before jumping into TTC would be my advice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904326 Tue, 03 Dec 2019 19:52:55 +0000 Litebrite 2904326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry to hear. I had a miscarriage a few years ago and it was a very sad and lonely time for me. My situation was different so I dont know what to expect in terms of physical recovery.</p> <p>I was also surprised by how upset I got, very similar to you. It just really sucks. Let yourself be sad and grieve the pregnancy and take care of yourself and start trying again when it feels right for you.</p> <p>Good luck </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-1#post-2904320 Tue, 03 Dec 2019 19:27:34 +0000 Shybee23 2904320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a miscarriage yesterday. They said I need to come back in a couple days for bloodwork to confirm my levels are dropping as expected, and that we can start trying again as soon as I feel up to it (unless we are concerned about dating ovulation with certainty, in which case we should wait a cycle.)</p> <p>Just curious what the physical recovery will be like - when does the bleeding stop? I also have a splitting headache and am completely exhausted (but I’m sure the late night in the hospital is contributing to that). </p> <p>I am so sad. I am actually kind of surprised at just how upset I am - I know it was early, I know it’s so common, etc. People keep saying we can try again and there’s nothing we could have done and I know all that is true - but I am just so, so sad for THIS baby that we will never get to meet. I took today off but have to go back to work tomorrow and it just feels so strange to go back like everything is normal (I hadn’t told anyone at work yet). </p> <p>Has anyone tried again without waiting a cycle after a miscarriage? We don’t really feel a need to wait but what’s the best thing to do - get some ovulation tests to try to find our window?</p> <p>Thanks for any advice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/beyond-miscarriage-support-v2/page/26#post-2882072 Thu, 25 Apr 2019 13:05:13 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2882072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I am so sorry you are going through this. I think what helped me the most was like other ladies said, time and hormonal balance. I was an emotional wreck after my miscarriages but found that I felt a lot better after I started a new cycle. I also take time to write down small things I’m thankful for and that also puts life into perspective for me. One day I just woke up feeling better. I hope the same happens for you soon. Be easy on yourself. The first few weeks are so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/beyond-miscarriage-support-v2/page/26#post-2881694 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 17:12:15 +0000 Autumnmama79 2881694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: how are you feeling today? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/beyond-miscarriage-support-v2/page/26#post-2881129 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 10:39:52 +0000 Autumnmama79 2881129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/beyond-miscarriage-support-v2/page/26#post-2881116 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 09:50:22 +0000 JennyPenny 2881116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a TFMR three weeks ago now and it has definitely been a struggle to find the people who are there for me and those who aren't. I was surprised at how many people choose to say nothing because they don't know what to say. We were 14 weeks when we terminated and had told friends and family at 8 weeks so everyone close to use knew what happened. The thing that has helped me the most is I have 1 good friend who will talk to me about it. She'll let me cry when things come up, she'll let me rant about other people being insensitive, she'll ask questions and talk about it as though it's a sad thing but not something to be swept under the rug and forgotten about. It sounds like not many people knew you were pregnant, but I wonder if you have a friend who could do that for you? I suspect that's a role a therapist fills but I haven't tried it myself. Sending you so much love as you navigate this - it really, really sucks. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/beyond-miscarriage-support-v2/page/26#post-2881065 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 06:34:57 +0000 SweetCaroline 2881065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: @Autumnmama79: @periwinklebee: @karenbme: Thank you for sharing and for your support. I need to give myself grace and ride out the next 4-6 weeks until my hormones level out. </p> <p>We were going to announce our pregnancy at Easter celebrations with family. I've decided I'm going to give myself significant grace this weekend to feel how I feel and also be honest if family asks how I am.</p> <p>I also had a long talk (cry) with DH last night. I explained to him that I needed to make action plans on various things because the one thing that I so badly want to plan (a baby) is out of our control. There are some house projects he has been delaying and he now understands how important it is to me that we identify next steps and accomplish something where we can.</p> <p>@Autumnmama79: Thinking of you as you navigate the difficult waters you're facing. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/beyond-miscarriage-support-v2/page/26#post-2881063 Wed, 17 Apr 2019 06:17:09 +0000 karenbme 2881063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and feel like you don’t have the support you need. Unfortunately, that has been the case for me as well. I want to talk about the loss, but there are several people who even referring to “when I was pregnant...” makes them visibly uncomfortable. And others, especially my in-laws who went full radio silence on us at a time when we really needed people. I would echo what others have said about waiting for hormones to regulate, which for me has taken about 6 weeks each time. And also just making sure to get out of the house, either with friends who know what’s going on or just with DH. It was really easy for me to just cocoon after my losses, and that wasn’t healthy all the time. I also worked with a therapist who specializes in reproductive issues, and that was helpful but I’m not sure if it was necessary. It was also really important to find the right therapist, which took some trial and error.</p> <p>I hope you’re able to find what you need and take the time to heal. I know this isn’t an easy process but this community is here for you. ❤️ </p>