https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 03:36:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fertility-post-chemical#post-2922630 Mon, 22 Feb 2021 07:29:37 +0000 jaguar 2922630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi guys,</p> <p>I'm currently going through an early pregnancy loss (again) only this time, it was from our very first non-IVF conception, which is still blowing my mind a little bit. We don't know much about how far along I actually was due to my cycles being a little scattered and all over the place) but am currently tracking HCG levels down, and have started bleeding today - so I'm hopeful it'll resolve on its own and not need help to move things along.</p> <p>I want to ask though... for those who had early losses or chemicals, did it impact your fertility in the future?</p> <p>We won't be doing IVF again, so for us, the only hope is another miracle natural concept - highly unlikely, but we're willing to give it a go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ectopic-pul#post-2921674 Tue, 29 Dec 2020 05:06:48 +0000 kristinleigh 2921674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’ve been on a rollercoaster the last week. I haven’t posted since my now almost five year old was born but figured I would check out these boards again ❤️</p> <p>We are on an 18 month journey to have another child. We were set to start IUI in January. Monday 12/21 I went in for a hysteroscopy/<br /> Polypectomy. As I was being wheeled into OR, surgery canceled due to positive HCG (I had a cycle start 12/16 and end 12/20, weird for me to be that short but I’ve been stressed). Went to fertility center for a beta.. came back as 71, progesterone 0.7 ish. Diagnosed as a chemical pregnancy. Went back two days later (12/23).. beta 252.4, progesterone still at 0.7 ish. Diagnosed as probably ectopic. Went 12/24 for another beta and ultrasound.. beta at 410.1, progesterone 0.93. Started having left side pain a few hours later. Consulted with my doctor and was told based on labs and ultrasound to do methotrexate. Got methotrexate 12/24. Went back today for repeat labs and ultrasound.. beta up to 1260, progesterone 4.02, increasing tenderness / sharp pains on lower left side into lower back. Ultrasound repeated, no obvious intrauterine pregnancy noted but a slight indication of “something” in uterus. Was sent down to MFM.. had a very long abdominal and TV ultrasound done by a tech and doctor.. large cyst noted on right ovary, a slight shadow of “something” in uterus, not believed to be a viable pregnancy, if pregnancy at all. Nothing significant aside from the right sided cyst noted elsewhere. The plan is to go again Wednesday for repeat labs, which should be going down at that point. I’m exhausted and frustrated. I’m told if this is intrauterine then it’s a “highly abnormal pregnancy”. Right now I’m deemed “pregnancy of unknown location”. I feel I really need this location identified so I can find peace. This has been such a wild ride. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/due-date-for-miscarried-baby#post-2899176 Thu, 10 Oct 2019 13:25:44 +0000 Mrs. Cereal 2899176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Today marks the day my third baby was due. This year they would have been turning two. I'm feeling sad today, and kind of angry too. This baby was a surprise and felt like it was meant to be to me, so the loss was really hard and really confusing. I wish that I had this little one sitting on my lap today. That loss basically meant I was not going to have a third child and it makes me really sad. October is pregnancy and infant loss month, so hugs to all of you that have experienced loss. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/chemical-pregnancy-questions#post-2883653 Tue, 07 May 2019 22:37:13 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2883653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How long/heavy did you bleed? My bleeding has almost completely stopped a day after it started. </p> <p>What was your beta HCG when you knew you had lost the pregnancy? Mine was 4.75 at my doctor yesterday and 5.6 at the hospital last night. I know these are very low numbers. I was 18DPO.</p> <p>Did you see your OB at all after your loss? Did you have follow-up HCG blood draws? </p> <p>I’m just confused and angry and sad. </p> <p>Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879597 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 18:09:41 +0000 SweetCaroline 2879597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should be 9 weeks but found out baby stopped developing around 6 weeks. I went in for spotting. I started cramping on Thursday night--it has been sporadic and I haven't passed anything....still just red spotting. I'm supposed to go in on Monday again.</p> <p>Curious to know if I will be offered the choice between misiprostol and a D&amp;C or if the loss was early enough Dr. will want me to start with misiprostol. Please weigh in if you have experience.</p> <p>It's hard to wrap my head around the fact the pregnancy ended a 3 weeks ago but my body hasn't recognized it. With DD I went to 41+ weeks, and my labor needed to be augmented with Pitocin. Makes me worried misiprostol might not be totally effective and I'll end up with a D&amp;C anyway. Perhaps this isn't totally rational, but I feel stuck in purgatory.</p> <p>ETA: I feel like my comparison of my full term labor to this experience made no sense! Basically, my body has shown it is extremely stubborn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/recurrent-pregnancy-loss-and-moving-forward#post-2870305 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 09:48:42 +0000 LAZB 2870305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have my follow up appointment from my d&amp;c today, and I called and they do have my results in to discuss. I’m just so emotional about having (or not having) answers.<br /> I don’t know what I want to do moving forward, and just ugh. I don’t feel like I can just take time off to decide, because I have so few eggs, if we are going to try again, it has to be soon.<br /> We won’t do ivf (just can’t justify the cost and emotional aspect with two at home), so we can’t do genetic testing on embryos.<br /> If nothing was wrong with this last pregnancy it will also just make me feel so guilty. I know if someone else was going through this I’d tell them “no! It was nothing you did!” But I just can’t shake that the baby had a strong heartbeat on Thursday and died on Saturday with no apparent reason.<br /> Anyway, just writing this out here, no real reason except I’m feeling all sorts of emotional and torn on what I “want” to be the answer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dampc-advice#post-2868024 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 06:22:53 +0000 LAZB 2868024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Found out yesterday at 11 weeks that baby no longer has a heartbeat. I was finding it consistently on the Doppler until Saturday, which lines up with when the baby stopped growing.<br /> I had no cramping or bleeding, nothing to indicate anything was wrong. I confirmed with my doctor yesterday through an ultrasound that there was no heartbeat.<br /> They initially scheduled me for a D&amp;c today, but not until 1:30 in the afternoon, and I didn’t want to fast all day ((I was told no water even!), so I asked if we could make a morning appointment. They made it for tomorrow (Wednesday) first thing.<br /> Now I’m laying here at 5:20 am with what could be light cramping, or I guess could be in my head. I’m paranoid that I’m going to pass the baby and then they can’t run genetic testing.<br /> Should I call first thing and see if they can move me back to today? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-appreciated-when-to-take-misoprostol#post-2853548 Fri, 26 Oct 2018 16:06:18 +0000 MLE81 2853548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know that all experiences are different/personal, but wondering if anyone can offer some advice.</p> <p>I found out this morning that my pregnancy is not viable (blighted ovum). I am about 8 weeks. I have the option to schedule a D&amp;C next week, but also filled a prescription for misoprostol (Cytotec) that I am leaning towards using this weekend. My original “plan” was to take the first dose tomorrow morning, but now I’m wondering if I should do it tonight instead. </p> <p>My husband will be home all weekend to look after our DD, so I can rest as needed, but part of me is worried she may be upset if mommy is “out of commission” tomorrow while she is awake, so wondering if I should try to force the process to at least start overnight while she is asleep. I think it will be emotionally even more difficult for me if my DD is upset, too. She has a “knack” for always wanting the parent who is least available at any particular moment ;)</p> <p>I have no idea what to expect, physically, so not sure if it’s something I want to go through alone overnight, either. Of course, hubby will support as needed, but also don’t want him to be exhausted tomorrow when DD needs at least one functional parent.</p> <p>Any advice? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-a-way-to-predict-how-quickly-hcg-levels-will-go-down#post-2841649 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 17:01:09 +0000 LAZB 2841649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My numbers seem to be going down really quickly, but I know that the rate usually slows as it gets lower. Is there some sort of algorithm or something to roughly predict when I might get back to zero?<br /> I started bleeding at exactly 8 weeks which was after my miscarriage had been diagnosed. Two Fridays ago my hCG was 89,000, last Friday my hCG was 19,000, and today it was 768.<br /> I know that it will be what it will be, but I could go get my levels tested again next week or the following week and I don’t want to go next week if it is probably just going to be a waste. Any thoughts? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-dose-misoprostol-not-working-did-a-second-dose-help-you#post-2839856 Wed, 15 Aug 2018 10:31:23 +0000 LAZB 2839856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took the First dose (800 mg I think?) vaginally on Monday afternoon. I had some mild cramping about 45 minutes later, about 3 minutes of intense cramping a couple hours later, and pretty much nothing the rest of the night. Tuesday morning I started spotting, but definitely not anything significant.<br /> My doc called in another dose, and I’m really hoping this works because I just want to be done and of course want to avoid a d&amp;c if possible.<br /> Has anyone had the second dose actually work? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage#post-2818372 Wed, 25 Apr 2018 11:49:30 +0000 dc yoga bee 2818372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t know what I’m looking for. I started having some mild cramping and went in. I should’ve been 7-8 weeks. It’s been a rollercoaster. The ultrasound showed that the embryo had stopped growing last week. The RE said the saw an embryo last week and this week showed everything was actually getting smaller. And next to it was another sac. Empty. They had a theory a few weeks ago I was pregnant with twins and lost one (major cramping when betas weren’t doubling first week of April) but then then they started going up and doubling and the RE thought the second pregnancy/baby was going fine and growing but still touch and go.</p> <p>Anyways, they gave me three options and I don’t want a D&amp;C. Can anyone share their cytotec and/or natural miscarriage experiences? </p> <p>Also, did you take any time off? The RE said waiting a cycle for dating would be helpful but not required. I’m honestly numb right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surving-a-painful-miscarriage-advice#post-2802143 Mon, 05 Feb 2018 13:07:26 +0000 MrsJBeeG 2802143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ladies - I could use some shared experiences today. Sadly I’m going through my second miscarriage. It took almost 5 weeks from when the development stopped to naturally miscarry - I assume it’s worse as I was at close to 13 weeks. This one is really painful - like some times the cramps are so bad that I want to curl in a ball and cry and beg for it to end. I’ve tried Motrin, Tylenol and lots of fluids. Any other remedies anyone has used - besides prescribed drugs (I have strong reactions to them and avoid them h less it’s unavoidable). And any thoughts on how long it could last? I was doing better today but cramps have been ramping up again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/karotypechromosomal-analysis#post-2783198 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 09:04:27 +0000 mrskansas 2783198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone had karotyping done after recurrent miscarriages? Did the results provide any answers as to why you had more than one miscarriage?</p> <p>I've had one ectopic, two MCs and a handful of chemical pregnancies since having a healthy baby in 2015. Day 3 testing was normal, blood clotting tests were negative and my thyroid is normal. I don't have an ovulation problem and my luteal phase is always 13/14 days. My RE told me it's either a chromosomal issue or just bad luck.</p> <p>I really want to believe that it's just bad luck because I'm afraid of what our options will be if my husband or I have bad eggs/sperm.</p> <p>Any experiences? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/levels-of-loss#post-2781238 Sun, 22 Oct 2017 11:47:43 +0000 LindsayInNY 2781238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you think "a loss is a loss" and all are the same? Or do you believe there are "levels" of loss - pre-u/s/heartbeat vs. post-u/s/heartbeat vs. second/third trimester vs. stillborn - and that some are worse than others?</p> <p>Stems from a conversation with a friend, not meant to be insensitive or anything. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/methotrexate-shot-for-ectopic-pregnancy#post-2779547 Fri, 13 Oct 2017 16:33:24 +0000 MrstypeA 2779547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you receive both methotrexate shots in a single injection site or did they inject each syringe into two different sites? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/natural-miscarriage-experiences#post-2780354 Wed, 18 Oct 2017 06:55:18 +0000 LindsayInNY 2780354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I went in on Monday, at what should have been 11 weeks, baby measured 8 weeks. The doctor gave me a number of options on what to do. Since then, I haven't been able to talk to any of the doctors at my practice (don't get my started there...) but started experiencing cramping and the start of bleeding. I'm trying to get a realistic idea of what to expect - pain, bleeding, passing tissue, etc. A chemical pregnancy was like a late period so I know this is going to be different. And, for those who have been here, did you need any follow up or did your body just process everything on its own? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-misoprostol-experience-for-missed-miscarriage#post-2251160 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 11:54:36 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2251160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought I would share my experience, since googling for others only came up with horrible things.</p> <p>On July 20th my ultrasound showed I was measuring about 6 weeks with no heartbeat. I should have been 9 weeks and 2 days. The US lady and my doctor told me that maybe my dates were just off, come back in a week. </p> <p>As expected, the next week I had started spotting and the US showed the same thing. That was this past Monday.</p> <p>By Tuesday I was lightly bleeding. I had my doctors appointment that day where she prescribed 800mg of misiprostol for 2 days. </p> <p>I took the first dose vaginally on Wednesday morning at 8:30am. I had a bit of cramping and more bleeding. Nothing horrible. At 11:40am I passed everything. I still was told to take another 800mg the next morning. I just bled more that day, nothing more than a period.</p> <p>I had an ultrasound today and confirmed everything passed. I am still bleeding but not horrible and the cramping is gone.</p> <p>The experience was totally fine - no horror story to report! Other then the ER doctor this morning asking me "did you have an abortion?" "was this baby planned?" "did you want this baby?" "do you have a partner that you planned this baby with?" :meh: </p> <p>Anyway - if your doctor suggests this method, it was pretty easy/painless/quick. Hopefully googling people find this and can be relieved! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waiting-to-miscarry-1#post-2691983 Sun, 05 Feb 2017 14:06:58 +0000 periwinklebee 2691983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went in for a scan at a bit shy of 7 weeks, and we saw an embryo that was measuring at less than 6 weeks with a slow heart beat. When we followed up a week later, it looked the same - measuring a little less than 6 weeks with a slow heart beat. Since the embryo isn't growing, we know that it is not viable, and it is a matter of waiting for the heart to stop. I have another ultrasound scheduled this Friday, which will be around 9 weeks. </p> <p>For those who had an embryo that wasn't growing but still had a heart beat, how long did it take the heart to stop? And did the miscarriage happen naturally or require a D&amp;C or other intervention? I know people go through much worse - and I never expected to hope not to see a heart beat - but I'm ready to be done with pregnancy symptoms given that it's not viable and am hoping that having my body back will also help with emotional healing... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/manual-vacuum-aspirationextraction-experience#post-2779965 Mon, 16 Oct 2017 16:00:27 +0000 LindsayInNY 2779965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does anyone have experience with this type of missed miscarriage procedure? My understanding is that it's a step down from a D&amp;C, is performed at the OB's office (not hospital) with a catheter and ultrasound? I don't know a ton more and can't find much online. Hoping (sadly) that someone else has similar experience or went through this and can provide some insight... &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/re-losses#post-2778718 Tue, 10 Oct 2017 16:48:40 +0000 lilyofthewest 2778718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been thinking about whether to post something to Fb this month (infant &amp; pregnancy loss awareness month) and I'm still not sure. But, I wrote this and I think it would feel good to share it somewhere. </p> <p>Since March I’ve had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. And it sucks. It doesn’t actually make me especially sad. Many people who experience pregnancy loss feel as if they’ve lost a baby. That’s not my experience: 12+ years of working in abortion care really differentiates embryo/fetus/pregnancy from baby. It can be really crappy without being especially sad though. </p> <p>I worry a lot about getting older and less fertile. And about the possibility of higher and higher rates of miscarriage and trisomies as time and aging plod along. </p> <p>I worry about having an awkward age gap. If that first miscarriage had been good, LO#1 and #2 would be just over 2.5 years apart, definitely close enough to be friends and play together. If LO#1 and #2 are more like 3.5 years (or more) apart will they be agemates enough to play?</p> <p>I worry about vain things. Like how if that first pregnancy had been good, I would have been cute-pregnant when we went to the beach this summer. Instead, I was stress-eating-chubby and bloated. </p> <p>And I worry that if I weren’t a medical professional, my care providers would kill me through ignorance and/or negligence. I’ve lost a lot of trust and respect for my care providers and I feel nervous about if I will feel comfortable seeing them and trusting their clinical judgment if I ever do get a viable pregnancy. </p> <p>With the second miscarriage, my beta hCG levels plateaued in a way that looked very concerning for an ectopic pregnancy. One of my midwives was totally unconcerned and didn’t even seem to realize that the labs looked bad. One was appropriately worried, but didn’t have the resources and equipment to do my workup or to treat me. The maternal-fetal medicine practice that the midwives referred me to couldn’t find any sign of a normal pregnancy, but they still just congratulated me and told me I was probably really early. </p> <p>I wanted everything to be ok, I wanted to be able to trust the expertise of the maternal-fetal medicine docs. But I knew they were wrong. </p> <p>I called an OB/Gyn practice I’d seen a few years before, they connected the dots the same way I had, and they squeezed me in for a procedure the next morning so I didn’t have to go to the emergency room. Luckily, despite all the signals pointing to an ectopic pregnancy, that one turned out be "just" an abnormal uterine pregnancy. </p> <p>The third time did turn out to be ectopic. The same OB/Gyn practice that took great care of me with miscarriage #2 completely missed an important lab value with the one that turned out to be ectopic. This resulted in delaying treatment by about 10 days. The really scary thing is that I only got treated as soon as I did because I was insistent that something wasn’t right; I came in for another evaluation 2 weeks before they wanted me to. If I had allowed myself to believe the assurances that things were looking good, I could’ve wound up in the hospital with a ruptured ectopic. Or died.</p> <p>The ectopic was treated more than 6 weeks ago and I’m still waiting for my pregnancy hormone levels to go all the way back down to zero. It could take a few more weeks. If this had been a viable pregnancy, I would already be in my second trimester. If the first pregnancy had been viable I would be 31 weeks pregnant. This is dragging on and on. </p> <p>Even though I don’t find it sad, it is sucky and stressful in so many ways. And it feels like it is taking forever. And I can’t escape pregnancy. I work in an abortion clinic. I go to a midwifery school. My life revolves around pregnancy; there’s no break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-your-dampc-cost#post-2717473 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 13:52:27 +0000 bhbee 2717473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Im scheduled for Friday and it just occurred to me this could wipe out the money we had set aside for delivery later this year. We have a $2200 deductible so I'm guessing that's the minimum we'll owe with anesthesia etc? Coinsurance is 20% so that could add up too. </p> <p>It also sucked I had to pay my copay today for the visit to find out pregnancy was over (regular prenatal is covered). I hate insurance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-af-come-before-hcg-completely-dropped#post-2712456 Sat, 18 Mar 2017 17:39:36 +0000 periwinklebee 2712456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a reasonably heavy 5 day period earlier this week, my first post D&amp;C. I assumed hcg must be pretty low to get AF - part of its job is to prevent AF - but when I took a cheapie test this morning to check that it was negative, I still got a line. On the faint side, but I didn't need to squint to see it. </p> <p>I'm just curious if anyone else had a similar experience? I wouldn't think much of it but there's a possibility our pregnancy was partial molar. That raises a concern that hcg will start going back up due to abnormal growths, so it made me a little bit nervous whether it's normal or not to still have hcg in your system after a period. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-miscarriage-story-i-lost-but-also-gained#post-2716157 Sat, 25 Mar 2017 11:14:40 +0000 periwinklebee 2716157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was recently reading an old hellobee thread: “What surprised you the most about your loss?” For me the answer is that “it wasn’t all bad.” Before my BFP, I thought that loss condemned you to spending weeks feeling sick, exhausted, and emotional, ending in just sadness. For the first month after our loss, any time I thought about it, I would cry, and it was very hard to see a silver lining. But now I realize that yes, I lost, but I also gained… </p> <p>My BFP came the day after our initial intake appointment with an RE, to do some basic tests in case there was a reason besides bad luck that TTC didn’t seem to be panning out. I was extremely happy, but also very cautious. “Don’t get attached yet,” my husband said. The pregnancy was somewhat complicated from the beginning. Less than a day after breathing a sigh of relief that my final beta draw looked good, I had heavy bleeding. I thought for sure it was over, but when I went in for an ultrasound, the diagnosis was an SCH, essentially a bruise that can develop if some blood leaks out during the formation of the placenta. I continued to spot off and on, but also felt sick, which seemed like a good sign. </p> <p>At the dating scan, we indeed saw a baby with a heartbeat, but it was on the low side, and our baby on the tiny side. The doctor recommended that I go on bed rest in hopes of healing the SCH, and follow up in a couple of weeks. At the follow-up, we saw the heartbeat again, but our little one wasn’t growing and I knew that it was a matter of waiting for the heart to stop. The doctor suggested that maybe the fetus couldn’t get the nutrients he needed to grow because of the SCH. </p> <p>I was heartbroken by the thought of a little person inside me whose heart was beating slower and slower. It brought back strong emotions of watching other loved ones pass away and reminded me of the fragility of life, kindling fears that other people I loved would die too soon as well. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I hated the thought that our little one was dying because my body couldn’t get him the nutrients he needed. And I cried that he would never have the opportunity to know how much he was loved.</p> <p>We did genetic testing, and learned that our little one had triploidy. He had three of every single chromosome, either because two sperm fertilized a single egg or because the egg had two sets of every chromosome rather than one. It was an enormous relief to know that I hadn’t inadvertently done anything to cause the demise of the pregnancy, and I will breathe so much easier in future pregnancies knowing this. Triploidy is a random event unrelated to the age of the mother or father, and the odds of it happening again are low – cue huge sigh of relief. The downside is that if the extra genetic material comes from two sperm fertilizing a single egg, it puts the mother at a substantially increased risk of developing abnormal growths or even cancer if any of the placenta gets left behind (a so-called partial molar pregnancy). Who knew? Sperm are programmed to invade a woman’s body and take all her resources and give them to the placenta, to nourish the man’s offspring. Eggs are programmed to say – “wait a minute, mister, mom needs some resources too.” If there’s an extra sperm in the mix, it can make the placenta grow like crazy, in extreme cases, consuming the women’s entire body. Thankfully, I had access to a D&amp;E done by a skilled surgeon, and my HCG has fallen nearly to zero, so there’s little risk now of long-term health complications. </p> <p>I started recently doing some guided meditations to send caring, positive thoughts to my ovaries. I realized through this that I was harboring an enormous amount of frustration towards my body, built up through the months of BFNs and then a pregnancy where we thought initially that the issue wasn’t with the baby but with my body. I used to be a semi-serious athlete, which was all about working super hard in training to get the response you wanted from your body. But with TTC, there’s really nothing I can do to make it work, and while I recognized that on some level, underneath it made me very frustrated. </p> <p>The feelings of frustration towards my body couldn’t be a greater contrast to the emotions I have when I think about our little boy. All I feel towards him is a wellspring of love and tenderness, a love and tenderness that if applied to my feelings of frustration make them slowly dissolve. I realize now what a beautiful and special relationship we had. Unlike anyone else whom I’ve loved deeply, he will never do anything to hurt me, to anger me, to exasperate me… He had a complete extra set of chromosomes - 2/3 DH and 1/3 me, or maybe the other way around. Given how different he was from any person you’ll see walking around, it seems nothing short of a miracle that his heart beat for a full month. Normally, triploidy results in very early miscarriage. We were blessed with quite a long time together. Like many beautiful creatures, his life was short, his mark on the world nearly invisible, but he was beautiful to me and touched my life deeply. </p> <p>So I realize now, it’s not all bad. I didn’t appreciate this when I was pregnant - I was just sick and exhausted and worried about viability – and for the first month after our loss, my husband’s most frequent remark to me was “you seem so sad.” But now I can think about the pregnancy and feel a sense of peace and appreciation for what we had. If we are blessed with a next time, I’ll have a greater appreciation for how unique the relationship is between a mother and an unborn child. If it becomes a lifelong relationship, I will appreciate this very special initial phase. And if it’s destined to be brief, I will cry for the experiences that my little one will never have, but I will also marvel at what we do have. Life doesn’t need to be long to be beautiful, or to inspire those whom it touches. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/late-bfp-and-increased-chance-of-loss#post-2712701 Sun, 19 Mar 2017 19:43:48 +0000 Raspberry 2712701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my successful pregnancy, I had a clear BFP at 10 dpo.</p> <p>My last pregnancy, my tests kept coming up negative until my period was very late. Blood tests confirmed low HCG that wasn't doubling and I miscarried at 6 weeks.</p> <p>This was our first cycle trying after that loss and I got a squinter today, again a few days past my period was due.</p> <p>To be very frank, I did't feel any joy and already feel this will end in a loss again.</p> <p>I guess I'm asking for other ladies' experiences to either give me some hope, or keep it in check. Thanks in advance. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-had-a-loss-and-knew-the-gender-would-you-name-the-baby#post-2711993 Fri, 17 Mar 2017 11:20:07 +0000 periwinklebee 2711993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess this is a broader question about relating to loss. We lost a pregnancy, a boy, at 10 weeks. Because it was early, we never got to meet or hold him. Part of me feels like relating to him as a person just creates an unhelpful emotional attachment. I might feel a lot of love towards this pregnancy, but that’s more just because I want to love a child and this was the closest I got, but it was still really far from that. Maybe recognizing that is helpful. While the fetus had our genetic material, his condition was incompatible with life (he had three of every single chromosome, i.e. because two sperm fertilized an egg) and he never had the potential to become the child I wanted to love. </p> <p>On the other hand, just kind of brushing this off as some cells that were incompatible with life doesn’t seem like it really honors or respects the fact that there was the beginnings of another person, or the emotional relationship that I had with the pregnancy. </p> <p>I know everyone relates differently, but it's just kind of weird to think about. Maybe I’m making this too complicated… </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hcg-dropping-but-no-bleeding#post-2704344 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 10:50:46 +0000 mrskansas 2704344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I found out Monday that my HCG had dropped from 227 to 120-something. I was on progesterone suppositories &amp; my last dose was Monday morning. I’ve had no bleeding or spotting yet. Last night my Wondfo was almost negative so I thought I would have started bleeding already.</p> <p>Anyone else been through something similar? I just want my period already! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lupus-anticoagulant#post-2704279 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 10:05:50 +0000 mrskansas 2704279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My RE ordered some blood work last week &amp; the results were just emailed to me. I haven't had a chance to speak with him yet about the results, but I wanted to see if anyone here had any insight.<br /> Everything came back normal except the lupus anticoagulant. I have no idea what this means and it is barely above normal.</p> <p>Does anyone have experience with this? </p> [attach=7778/17/om55xq.600x229.3-1-2017-9-04-54-AM.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-more-than-one-cp#post-2683347 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 16:04:05 +0000 knittylady 2683347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you had more than one chemical pregnancy did it turn out to be bad luck or a problem? If so what was the problem and how did you fix it or not? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/question-about-miscarriage#post-2675627 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 00:44:13 +0000 Raspberry 2675627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should be just over 5 weeks right now. HCG on Tuesday was 98 and today (Friday) was 124.</p> <p>I was just wondering how long I should expect before I start miscarrying. I don't see my doctor again until early next week to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/er-bill#post-2653864 Thu, 17 Nov 2016 17:23:31 +0000 jedeve 2653864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to vent for a minute. </p> <p>I went to the ER for a miscarriage at 5.5 weeks because my OB wouldn't see me since she hadn't previously seen me for that pregnancy. The bill was $2600. Insurance is covering half of it. </p> <p>I find it absurd. They gave me an ultrasound after my hcg came back at 10. I told them I wasn't having any pain on my right side. They did $800 of lab tests like STD testing (which I could have told them I didn't need) and my RH status (which I could have told them. Or they could have looked in my records). </p> <p>I'm mad at myself for going to the ER at all. </p>