https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 00:35:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-our-babysitter-wear-a-mask#post-2924034 Thu, 10 Jun 2021 09:39:35 +0000 julie31 2924034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi everyone! So DH and I are going to have our first date night in 1.5 years tomorrow. Yay! But we don't know if we should have our babysitter and/or kids mask up.<br /> Our babysitter is vaccinated (as we are), and she is very responsible. But she also works with other families and traveled recently. I am not sure how to proceed. We have been fairly cautious and always wear masks (as most people in the area where we live) but I also don't want to be overly paranoid.<br /> What would you guys do in that situation? Thanks!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-holiday-gift-which-one#post-2921160 Mon, 30 Nov 2020 09:27:25 +0000 Chuckles 2921160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our nanny started with us at the beginning of November, and she is really awesome! We're going to give her an end of the year bonus of a week salary (even though it's totally budget busting). Do you think I should give it to her very close to Christmas or would it be better to give it a little early so that she can use the money for the holidays if she wants? Also, I'm going to get her a small separate gift, since I know technically the bonus isn't a gift. She's a former colorist at a salon. I'm deciding between a Sephora gift card or a pack of Bombas socks. Which one do you think would be better? Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nannies-covid-contract-rider#post-2918084 Mon, 10 Aug 2020 04:35:22 +0000 pachamama 2918084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all.... I think we will be getting a nanny and we are trying to navigate what to do if one of us (her, DH, me, kids... lots of people involved) gets exposed to covid or has to quarantine. (I am a teacher. One son will go to outdoor pre-k. Here in NY infection is very low... for now).<br /> She purchased a contract but it was extremely confusing and almost too comprehensive. </p> <p>What are you doing with your nannies in the case of quarantine/ exposure? She´s very reasonable about things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boundaries-when-working-from-home-with-childcare-at-home#post-2916717 Mon, 22 Jun 2020 10:19:26 +0000 hitchhiker 2916717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you draw boundaries when you are working from home full time and you also have childcare at home full time? My 7 and 4 year olds are at home with a sitter this summer, and my 7 year old is constantly barging into my office looking for attention, complaining about the sitter, generally whining. I feel like I am going to lose it. After months of trying to balance working and child care, now that we have a sitter, I need to be able to work without interruption. Both for my work productivity and my mental health. Plus, I feel like I am inadvertently undermining the babysitter just by being here. (My husband is here too, but of course, none of this is an issue with or for him.) </p> <p>Does anyone have tips? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-hire-a-nanny#post-2916149 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 21:53:51 +0000 skiierchck99 2916149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I have come to the conclusion that we need to hire a nanny this year and keep the kids out of daycare. With the restrictions my state is putting on daycares it doesn’t seem like the benefits will be worth the risk. For those who have nannies already, any tips as I start the process? Will going through an agency facilitate things like payroll, contract, etc? If I decided to hire on my own, what should I keep in mind? Thanks in advance!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-contract#post-2909749 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 13:26:20 +0000 Jellyfish 2909749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sadly going back to work soon and in the process of hiring a nanny. Does anyone have a template for nanny contract or know a good source? Figure it's important to at least put some basic things down on paper. Thanks ladies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/activities-for-8-12-month-old#post-2873824 Mon, 25 Feb 2019 18:11:54 +0000 Sweetcheeks 2873824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi, mommies!<br /> I’m a college nursing student nannying for the first time and am looking for activity ideas for 8-12 month old babies. A lot of the posts I see online are for toddlers or older and need ideas of activities to do with the baby I will be nannying this summer. I want to give her the best experiences possible and thought moms would know best!<br /> Any ideas a greatly appreciated. Also, feel free to include if there was something your nanny did for you or your child that really made the nanny experience great for you!<br /> Thank you so much for your input! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2852935 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 00:03:19 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2852935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 3-month-old baby, and we've been using our new nanny for just under two months now. She's been wonderful in a lot of ways-will check to see if laundry needs to be folded, will change the sheets on my preschooler's bed, will wash bottles and pump parts all without being prompted, etc. However, a few weeks ago, I came home and she was watching Moana "with" my baby. I didn't want to jump on her but did mention a study I read about babies and screen time correlating to ADHD, and said the baby shouldn't be watching anything. I said in the notes I gave her when she first started it was fine if she watches TV while the baby sleeps and she's taking a break, folding laundry, etc., but no screen time for the baby. Jump to today-I feel like it's on more and more, and after my daughter woke up, had a bottle, and was in the Boppy Lounger after, she still had the TV on the whole time. I work out of my home, so although I'm not hovering over her, I can hear the TV through my office wall. My husband brought it up to me tonight-and he usually doesn't notice things like this. I don't want to scold her, of course, but I'm not great at redirecting adults, especially one who is kind of an extension of our family by now (that's how I think of my nannies). Any tips on how I can make it less awkward of a conversation? Has anyone else dealt with this before? I want to be nice, but the bottom line is I don't want my daughter to be second fiddle to the TV when I'm paying someone to interact with her while I work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-responsibilities-and-pay#post-2836346 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 22:06:19 +0000 threeplusme 2836346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all. Looking for some nanny advice and would love to hear from those of you who have nannies or are nannies. I nanny for my SIL. Her husband is a teacher so i work school hours and just the school calendar. Last year I watched my nephew from the age of 5 months to 14 months. My youngest was in preschool for 4 mornings 4 days a week so she was with me while i watched him when she was not in school. I was able to bring him along anywhere i went from school drop offs and pick ups to food shopping and classroom volunteering. They paid me but not what a nanny would cost in our area which i was fine with since i had my daughter with me and i had so much flexibility. As to duties beyond basic care i made his breakfast and lunch, bottles, did his laundry, cleaned up after him and did some basic shopping for him (grabbed things I'd think he'd eat and supplies for seasonal crafts.) My SIL is due in two weeks so come November when her maternity leave ends they'd like me to watch my nephew who will be 19 months and the new baby who will be 3 months old. All my kids will be in school full time as my youngest heads off to kindergarten. I feel like a significant jump in pay is warrented. I'll now be watching a toddler and an infant and i can't imagine having the flexibity i had last year. What do you think is a resonable salary and what duties do you expect a nanny to do? Pay hourly or salary? Pay for gas? On the books or off the books? Do you provide food for the nanny? Paid vacation? Any advice would be great. I don't want to undervalue myself nor do i want my SIL to feel like I'm being unresonable. Thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interviewing-nannies-what-to-ask#post-2832556 Fri, 06 Jul 2018 19:02:17 +0000 agold 2832556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m going to be interviewing some nannies next week and I’m at at loss as to how to go about. My main question is, will you keep my kids safe? Beyond that, I’d love to hear how you handled the interview. Did you say what you wanted, or ask what the nanny can provide? And did you pay salary or hourly? Thank you for you help! Finding a nanny is the most stressful thing over done! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-how-soon-did-you-start-your-nanny-before-returning-to-work#post-2829082 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 14:08:37 +0000 agold 2829082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am going to have to get an in-home nanny for my two girls when I return to work in mid-August. I think I should start the nanny sooner than the first day I go back. How early did you start your nannies?And what did you specifically do - a few hours the first few days? Stay at home with the nanny or leave for a bit? I would really appreciate hearing what you all did. Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-if-your-nanny-was-consistently-late-for-work-would-you-fire-her#post-2829155 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 17:52:29 +0000 Jenniferbk 2829155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She’s not very late, but keeps showing up anywhere from 5-15 minutes late and I need to get to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-pay-hourly-vs-salary-wwyd#post-2826558 Tue, 05 Jun 2018 16:14:49 +0000 Mrs D 2826558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So - short background. Both DDs (4.5 &amp; 2) are in FT daycare right now. In September, DD1 will start Kindy (8:30am - 3:55pm) and DD2 will go to "public" pre-school (9am - 3pm).</p> <p>DH and I need to have aftercare so we are going to PM Nanny route. She will pick up DD2 from pre-school at 3pm and be home to meet DD1 from the bus around 4:15pm. All of this (both schools) are within 2 miles of our home, 5 miles of our Nannies work and home.</p> <p>We officially have said 3pm-5:30pm, but in reality DH will probably get home some days between 4:30/5pm.</p> <p>$10-$15/hour seems to be the going rate. Would you rather pay a Nanny higher per hour, and only pay the hours she works? Or a flat rate for the hours of 3pm-5:30pm each day?</p> <p>Wondering how others do it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-way-to-let-a-nanny-go#post-2821717 Thu, 10 May 2018 11:02:41 +0000 jetsa 2821717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi! Longtime no see, but I need advice. We've decided to put our LO's (3 and 4) in full day pre-k in the fall. Therefore eliminating the need of our nanny.<br /> What is the best way to let her know? She has been great, I'd write a reference for her, or help her find another family. We were the first people she'd ever nannied for and it was a great experience for all of us.<br /> She does not know its coming. We did half day prek for the 4 year old this year but she had the other all day and we'd kind of all assumed we'd do half day for both next year but we feel its time for full day.<br /> We plan to let her know this month which will give her over 2 months to find a job. I'd love for her to help us with the days school is closed, ends early etc but idk how it'll work out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-crying-with-nanny#post-2800922 Tue, 30 Jan 2018 17:12:37 +0000 littlejoy 2800922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work from home, and we have a nanny here 3-4 days per week. I work in another area of the house, but can hear what's going on. My baby, 6 months, just seems generally unhappy. The nanny does a good job of different activities and changing scenery (getting outside, when possible). But what else can we try?! This kid just wants a boob in her mouth 24/7, but that's not possible. (I nurse her 2-3 times while the nanny is here. Wondering if I should start pumping and have the nanny give a bottle ... but it's pretty much the only time she's not crying) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-payroll-service#post-2792940 Wed, 20 Dec 2017 14:46:46 +0000 castilrm 2792940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello! When I had a nanny for my older daughter, we used Intuit Household Payroll. This service has been discontinued, so now that we're looking into a nanny for our younger daughter, we need to find a new payroll services. The ones I'm seeing online are much more expensive than what we previously paid. Any suggestions on a nanny payroll service that isn't a price gouge would be much appreciated! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778342 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 10:30:59 +0000 periwinklebee 2778342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone here used a "sit month nanny" i.e. the traditional Asian postpartum care for the month after birth? For various reasons, neither my husband nor I want my MIL to move in with us for a month after our child is born to try to provide this, as I don't think anyone would be happy with this arrangement. Some friends have been trying to convince me to hire a sit month nanny service instead, to have extra help with cooking and childcare while I recover and so MIL won't feel like she needs to do it. The service is flexible about not having to follow all the traditional rules (which I don't have much interest in) and is affordable for us. </p> <p>I'm hesitant though. We have a small house and it just seems weird to have someone else always around for a month, and plus I want to spend lots of time with my baby once he's here, whereas my friends who loved a sit month nanny are upfront about not being baby people. I had originally planned just to care for the baby myself during mat leave (my husband doesn't get paternity leave and we won't have family around), but some friends are trying to convince me that this is crazy and it will be too hard/miserable/boring, and life will be so much easier with a sit month nanny. People at work have also told me that it will be miserable if I don't hire extra help...I know so many people don't have the option of help during mat leave, but this is all making me wonder if I should be looking more into it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/new-nanny-bday#post-2775992 Wed, 27 Sep 2017 14:32:50 +0000 winniebee 2775992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our new nanny's birthday is next week. She will have been with us for 2 weeks. What would you do for her birthday? I was thinking a gift card and card from the boys. She's full time (38 hours) and 22, recent college grad. Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/part-time-nanny-experience#post-2770692 Wed, 30 Aug 2017 13:04:21 +0000 Mrs D 2770692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD1 will start kindergarten next fall (2018) - her program will run from 9:05am-3:55pm. </p> <p>We think we will also move DD2 (she will be 2,5 at that point) to the "public" pre-school. That program will run from 9am-3pm. </p> <p>I have mentioned to DH that I think our best bet is to find a PM nanny. He is very apprehensive. We have plenty of teachers from daycare but very few - really only 1 - who we trust to drive our girls around.</p> <p>Here's the good news...I have casually made comments to that 1 person we are comfortable with and she is interested. She suggested we meet and discuss it. I should note - she has become a good friend of mine.</p> <p>So - basically it would be 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. Say 3pm-6pm. She'd pick up both girls, then bring them home. My initial thought is that it would just be a flat fee...we pay her $10/hr to sit for our girls now. So we'd pay her $150 a week - regardless of our vacation. Some of my thoughts:</p> <p>*I do think if she were to take a whole week off perhaps we would not pay her that week?<br /> *I also figure we'd need to discuss gas...maybe a tank of gas bi weekly.<br /> *We'd provide car seats.<br /> *Sick days, within reason</p> <p>Any other bee's have experience with this? Are my thoughts reasonable? I know the $10/hour rate is good - I figure with guaranteed hours she'd still be fine with that rate since it guaranteed work...or do you think she'll want more?</p> <p>My biggest concern is poor DD2 - she'll be in the car from 3:10 or so until 3:55 when they can collect DD1. The schools are about 10 mins apart. I guess on nice enough days DD2 can just play on the playground while they wait for DD1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-nanny-cam#post-2763414 Mon, 31 Jul 2017 10:10:37 +0000 mrskansas 2763414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why or why not? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-when-parents-both-wah#post-2745569 Fri, 09 Jun 2017 09:01:00 +0000 runnerd 2745569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are considering restructuring the boys daycare situation to have a part-time nanny 2 days a week, and continue sending to daycare 3 days a week.</p> <p>We both work full-time at home. If you had a nanny and work at home, how did it go? How did you get your kids not to interrupt you the whole time? Did your nanny take the kids on outings? </p> <p>Our office is currently in room between living room and kitchen and hope we don't have to, but could move it to the basement.</p> <p>Also, did you pay a lower rate because you are both available/around? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-birthday-gift#post-2725354 Mon, 17 Apr 2017 17:02:39 +0000 ElbieKay 2725354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our afternoon sitter is a college student who is turning 21 next week! Any suggestions for gift ideas? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-vacation-time#post-2724846 Sun, 16 Apr 2017 13:17:14 +0000 californiadreams 2724846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How much vacation time should I offer my new nanny? We are hiring her for eight months. I am thinking to prorate 75% of either two or three weeks per year. Is that too little or just enough?</p> <p> I just want to know if there is a common or typical amount that is expected. Same with a sick policy actually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-to-change-nannies-or-not-to-change#post-2724034 Thu, 13 Apr 2017 17:20:16 +0000 californiadreams 2724034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've posted a couple of times about my nanny already when i was feeling very frustrated and there have been other things i have not posted about as well. Now things seem pretty neutral with her, but at one point i was ready to switch nannies immediately. During that phase, I interviewed other candidates and found one I love. </p> <p>Now I am torn on what to do. Basically my dilemma is I don't know if i am justified in firing our current nanny. The issues we had seem to be resolved this week. But the truth is also that i never really loved her. There have been small things that have bothered/annoyed me since we hired her almost 3 months ago. I worry about what else will happen. But again, she is not a bad person. I think I may have a case of "bitch eating crackers" with her and perhaps I need to give her a more fair chance? I would feel awful just taking away the job from her and I am questioning if I am even justified in doing so?</p> <p>The most frustrating part is that I love the new potential candidate so much. Hands down if we met them at the same time, we would have picked the new one in a heart beat with no hesitation. I would have even removed my ad for a nanny on the website I used to find a nanny. I never took down my nanny ad because I have never felt 100% about the current one. </p> <p>I know so far this sounds biased and like I should go with the new one. But when I try to be objective, the fact is she is pretty good with my kids. She looked awesome on paper and had great references. My 4 year seems to be getting attached, enjoys spending time with her, and feels comfortable with her. My 1 year old has finally gotten used to her (it was hard in the beginning but she is his first caregiver other than me - other than an occasional babysitter, so i can't guarantee it would be different if someone else came regularly and i left to go to work). DH comes home from work before me every day and says they are always playing and happy. The issues we had were related to her professionalism and reliability - we talked to her about it and so far she seems to have gotten the message. So essentially she is doing her job. I have no reason to think kids are not safe or that I can't trust her with them. So why let her go then? Wouldn't that make me and DH awful people?</p> <p>Some other info:<br /> - It is supposed to be a short term position for 6 months (4.5 months left to go)<br /> - But we are considering keeping a nanny longer in which case I would really want someone I love a lot if it is for a longer term employment.<br /> - the new nanny is overall cheaper per month as she is bringing her 2 year old daughter with her (bonus of a playmate for my baby and someone closer in age to my 4 year old which may also be beneficial to him for other reasons)<br /> --- And my own salary is going to decrease by 20% next month and we will be paying for my 4 year to attend daycare 2 days a week in the summer so he is not home everyday all summer and keeps up with learning French (it's pretty cheap though)... so basically our income is going down and output is increasing. Saving on a cheaper nanny would be a big help! </p> <p>I am adding a poll because I am so torn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/requesting-to-leave-early#post-2721164 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:32:11 +0000 californiadreams 2721164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Am i overreacting to be annoyed that my nanny has now requested to finish early 3 times since i've gone back to work less than 2 months ago? all with a zero to less than a weeks notice? the first time being my first day back at work after my mat leave ended. Am i not being flexible/understanding enough? she doesn't tell us why she needs to finish early, though i found out after it had to do with a meeting she was going to (i think it may have to do with her direct sales business she started working as a consultant for, but can't say for sure). </p> <p>I am frustrated because if i have to leave work early to accommodate her, then i either have to make up the hours by working late another day (and it is frowned upon at my job to flex our hours often, so it makes me look bad) or use my vacation hours. Or my husband can take the hours and not get paid. And we can't also flex if we have patients to see or meetings to attend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/pros-and-cons-of-a-nanny-who-brings-her-child#post-2719406 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 11:35:20 +0000 californiadreams 2719406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 2 boys aged 1 and 4. Potential nanny has a 2 year old daughter that she would bring. Does anyone have experience with this?</p> <p>This is what i have come up with:<br /> Pros:<br /> - cheaper rate<br /> - play mate for my 1 year old when 4 year old is in school<br /> - slightly older play mate for my 4 year old when he is home</p> <p>Cons<br /> - less focus on my kids<br /> - less time to do extra stuff around the house (i don't ask a whole lot, but typically it is a nice bonus of having a nanny that everything is cleaned and i can leave laundry to fold etc)</p> <p>anything else? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-running-personal-errands#post-2717867 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 13:18:53 +0000 californiadreams 2717867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How would you feel with your nanny asking to run personal errands while she is taking care of your baby? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-naps#post-2716904 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 13:11:10 +0000 Orchid 2716904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My good friend just started working as a nanny. She said on two occasions she's suspected the family has a camera or two. One time she tried to take a nap while the toddler was napping and the mom texted. </p> <p>So, I'm asking for her .... if you have a nanny, do you have a camera? Did you tell nanny upfront about camera? And how do you feel about your nanny napping? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-validate-me-or-talk-me-off-the-ledge-nanny-drama-part-754#post-2711644 Thu, 16 Mar 2017 17:13:25 +0000 SweetiePie 2711644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>AND SHE'S NOT EVEN MY NANNY ANYMORE. WTF?????</p> <p>*Warning this is long and ramble-y but I'm fuming and need to vent. My mind is just spinning. </p> <p>Ok, some of you are familiar with my former nanny drama and if you're not - here it is for your reading pleasure.<br /> <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-advice-im-mad-and-need-an-unclouded-perspective/page/2#post-2642131" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-advice-im-mad-and-need-an-unclouded-perspective/page/2#post-2642131</a></p> <p>@anagram: @winniebee: @lbee: and @gingerbebe: I'm especially looking at you since you helped me a lot in the past!</p> <p>Basically, she is STILL without a job (Tues and Thurs) so I have been still occasionally posting on our local FB moms groups AND in a more curated local mommyblog where I am paying $85 to place the ad for her. I've done it twice so its been $170 out of pocket because I'm trying to be nice, its supposedly better leads, etc.<br /> And on top of that, we paid her THREE MONTHS severance, still use her once a month or so for babysitting because I know she needs the cash, I gave her a small birthday gift in January when she babysat, etc. She has said repeatedly that we are the best employers she ever had, etc. You can see some of the things we did for her in the other thread as well - lots of history there.</p> <p>Anyway, I posted to FB again this week and also on a local moms blog. I wrote a glowing recommendation (I didn't lie, I just focused on the things she did well and if someone calls me for a reference and asks a specific question about one of her weaknesses I would be honest, maybe slightly sugar coat because I don't want to blackball this woman but I also don't want to screw over another mom).<br /> I told her I did this and she said thank you. I'm afraid to post my exact ad because there might be some local moms here and it would out me! :silly: </p> <p>Well, I've given her info out to maybe 10-15 different moms over the last 48 hours or so. Today I get this text from her:</p> <p>Hi XXXXXX, when you speak to anyone about job description please do not mention house work or what you paid me they all have this notion that I do house work I did that for you because it was how you were with me and I went on some websites and noticed all the parents looking for part time was paying 20 and 25 dollars an hour so just do not mention those two things thank you</p> <p>I'M FUCKING FLOORED. Sorry for the language. But I'm really pissed. I let you go 5 months ago. You still have no job. I really owe you NOTHING and I have still gone out of my way to post 4 ads for you 2-3 times since I let you go. The best part...I DIDN'T EVEN MENTION HOUSEWORK OR PAY IN ANY OF MY ADS! The one I had to pay for requires that you select for housework: None, Light or Heavy. I chose light because sorry, but its pretty much a requirement where we live - when kids nap for hours a day or go to school you have to do some work, its not break time - wipe counters, clean up lunch, put away toys, fold clothes, etc. No one is asking you to scrub toilets or clean out a fridge - don't act like you did me some favor because you wiped down the counter that you messed up after you made my son a PB sandwich. I specifically stopped the nanny several times from doing too much because I told her that wasn't part of her job (like if she started to fold MY laundry or sweep the floor, which IMO could still be considered her domain but I didn't want to muddy the waters so I kept it to kid-related chores only). IF MULTIPLE PEOPLE ARE ASKING YOU TO DO HOUSEWORK AND ARE OFFERING $17/HR ITS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IS EXPECTED. They came to that conclusion on their own, not because of a single thing I wrote. Maybe YOU are wrong about what your job is. And just now one of the moms messaged me and said "I spoke to her but not sure what to do because she sounds like she literally just wants to sit with the baby and do nothing else. What did she do for you?" I mean, is that not insane? And she wants me to not tell them what she did do for me? And now I'm not even sure how to reply to this woman because I WANT to say "forget it, she is a dud". I don't even want to help her or say anything nice anymore. </p> <p>So now I am trying to decide how to handle this. The pissed part of me wants to send a sort of scathing reply and just delete the ads I wrote for her on FB and wash my hands of it. I feel that I've gone above and beyond and she is still being picky about the people who contact her and making it my problem when its not. You have the audacity to criticize my post? Even if I DID post that you do light housework and what I paid you, STFU and just say thanks that I'm even helping you. Or start by saying "thank you for posting, i really appreciate it as i know its not something you have to do. Can I ask a huge favor? blah blah blah"</p> <p>Here is what I drafted in my blind rage but haven't sent. Is this my years of frustration with her boiling over or is it an acceptable thing to say?<br /> ************************<br /> Well first of all I haven't told anyone how often I paid you or what I paid you because I don't want to be that involved. I don't even know what you are being paid right now so I can't even answer that accurately.<br /> And secondly, xxxxxxxx website makes you choose from the options: no housework, light or heavy. I chose light because you won't be able to find a job that doesn't expect child's laundry, cleaning after his meals and picking up his toys - I think that is implied with the job. If I put "no housework" I think no one would contact you. That is how they define light housework on their website (wiping counters, tidying toys, etc. during nap or while at school). If someone is asking for more than that it is not because of anything I said. I didn't mention housework at all on the Facebook posts.<br /> And if you think you should get more money an hour for doing light housework then you can tell them that's what you charge. You can say it's X with housework and Y with no housework. I haven't given them any rate information so you can tell them whatever you want, its not on me.<br /> Also, I feel like you are always implying, even after the fact, that we didn't pay you enough when we paid you the rate you gave us. There wasn't any negotiating. You told us your rate and we paid it. We gave raises each year on top of extremely generous bonuses. If you want more you should tell the moms who are inquiring you want more, nothing is stopping you. But I will be honest, I have TONS of friends at this point who have nannies and I've never once heard of them paying more than $21 and that was for 2 kids. Average for one kid is $17, almost everyone I know pays that. I'm not sure where you get that info or who these nannies are that fetch $20-25/hr. Maybe they are through agencies who notoriously charge more or maybe they are being paid on the books. I know not one person that pays that much though, especially for one who won't do any housework. So if that's what you're holding out for, you will probably be waiting a long time.<br /> Good luck and I will be a reference as needed but I think that since we are coming up on 5 months, and you seem to be unhappy with my ads, this will probably be my last time posting one for you.<br /> ****************************</p> <p>The timid part of me thinks to say "I said nothing about housework or pay. They are coming to that conclusion on their own" and leaving it at that. But then I'm like - I want to cut ties and I think being nice at all to this woman, or anything short of blunt or even rude, keeps the door open and I want it to be closed. I don't plan to ever post for her again and I won't be using her for babysitting anymore. I'm SERIOUSLY now ready to be done with her. We are oil and water - she is toxic for me and I just need to cut her out of my life. But she texts me like every week or every other week to say hi and ask how my son is and to inform me that she's still looking. Do I just ghost her and stop replying? </p> <p>HALLLLLP. My being overly kind and empathetic towards her is biting me in the ass and I'm not sure what to do.<br /> Please answer with what you'd REALISTICALLY do - not what you'd do in your imagination (because in a dream world I wouldn't even have to ask you ladies, I know what I'd like to do, haha). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-does-a-nanny-cost-where-you-live#post-1051742 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 10:21:36 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1051742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here a nanny's hourly wage is usually around $9-$10/hr, DOE. I was a nanny and made $10/hr for one kid, with 5 years nanny experience. When they had a second I got a raise. </p> <p>A friend was a nanny for twins in our area and she started at $12/hr. </p> <p>I suppose you could pay up to $14/hr but I've never seen anyone around here ask for that! Even though it tends to be lower here than most other places, I think our general wages are lower too. I couldn't afford a nanny at $10/hr and both DH and I work. </p>