https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 19:01:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926434 Thu, 10 Mar 2022 11:57:44 +0000 Mommy Finger 2926434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to give you kudos for how you're handling this and wanting to get your son comfortable with dogs. When I little, I had 3 traumatic experiences with dogs. One of them included being locked in the bathroom several times with an extremely loud barking and scary (to me) dog by my neighbor "friend". I don't think my parents knew how much that really affected me and while I like dogs, I've never been super comfortable around them. It's a bit frustrating that I get made fun of by some friends and family b/c I don't want a dog and don't immediately turn into a giant puddle of goo around them. Like somehow that makes me a bad person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926395 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 08:45:17 +0000 mamabolt 2926395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No idea if there are programs like this in your area, but in mine (metro Philly) there are programs where kids can read to service dogs in training at our local libraries, which I know for some of my friends with kids with dog fears have been really helpful for their kids to get a little experience with very well trained dogs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926391 Fri, 25 Feb 2022 16:18:38 +0000 Corduroy 2926391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the tips!</p> <p>@jennlin821: Thanks for writing out a whole script! Super helpful!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926390 Fri, 25 Feb 2022 15:55:24 +0000 jennlin821 2926390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have had an irrational fear of dogs my whole life, so here is what I learned and continue to do. </p> <p>First, during a calm unstressful moment, talk to your son about dogs. Something like: </p> <p>"Dogs love to run, jump, sniff, bark, and lick. this is how they get to know you. Isn't it funny that humans smile and high five, but doggies want to sniff your bum and penis? Thats because their nose is so strong, they can tell who you are by your smell! Every dog is going to want to smell you. Thats also why they lick! they want to taste and kiss you. </p> <p>Doggies LOVE to run. Its their most favorite thing in the whole world - just like you love (legos/karate/baking/superheros). So if you try to run away, the doggie thinks you want to play. And they are fast! Humans can't usually beat a doggie in a race. So even if you want to run away, the best thing is to stand still. Its very hard to do when we are scared. But the doggie will then sniff you, realize you don't want to play and go away. </p> <p>Doggies also love to jump. its probably their second favorite things besides running. Have you ever seen a doggie jump to catch a frisbee? If you lift your hands up, to get away from the sniffing dog, its going to think you want him to jump up. So we should cross our arms or put them behind us, while we stand still. </p> <p>So, if we are playing outside and a friendly dogs comes walking over, what do we do? We stand still, look up at the sky, and cross our arms and wait for the doggy to finish sniffing us. Try not to cry or scream- if you need to say something forcefully repeat No Thank You. </p> <p>If a dog comes running at you, or even a friendly/known down is scaring you, the best thing to do is stand still, cross your arms and yell NO! STOP! NO! as loud as you can. Doggies learn a few words and no is one of them." </p> <p>I hope this helps a bit. In general, I find dog owners to not be understanding of fears or allergies (for every 1 good dog owner, there are 10 bad ones). I can't count how many times I still need to shout "No!" as an unknown dog comes bounding at me (or my kids) because the owner is ineffectively managing it. </p> <p>Standing still while wanting to run, and not putting your hands up away from a predators mouth is EXTREMELY difficult. Its going to take him some time to learn these coping skills. </p> <p>I'm desperately trying not to pass my fear onto my kids, but its even harder to appear calm and not afraid while wanting to run :grin: </p> <p>Let me know if you have any questions, or need any other talking points. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926389 Thu, 24 Feb 2022 13:13:01 +0000 sckim 2926389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is scared of dogs. She had an allergic reaction and ended up in the ER with terrible wheezing after the dander got in her nose. </p> <p>We talk about it- how to approach dogs, what to do if a dog runs at you, etc, but truthfully, i get frustrated at unleashed dogs. I think most people think im overreacting when i tell them shes allergic. She probably wont end up in the ER again with dog dander exposure since we carry her albuterol around but its frustrating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926376 Tue, 22 Feb 2022 08:44:04 +0000 Lahela017 2926376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is only 3, but we had a similar experience to PP. We were at a neighbor's house last summer, playing in their backyard and their large, very active, dog was going crazy with the excitement, trying to play with DD. She was having none of it and became extremely scared of all dogs. (prior to this, she liked seeing dogs) Whenever we see a dog on a walk, we talk about them and read books about them too. What really seemed to be a turning point though was about a month ago, we visited a relative who has a very small, calm dog. My husband played with and sat with the dog all afternoon while we visited, and DD watched. She did not want to interact with the dog, but seeing my husband interact with it really seemed to help. It was also good that it was a small dog.</p> <p>Like you, I'm allergic and have never been a dog person, so I couldn't care less if she doesn't want to play or pet a dog. So, I'm happy with where we're at now. She seems ok with seeing a dog at a park now. Though, I'm sure a large dog getting up in her face would really set us back. I get it though, that would also make me uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926375 Mon, 21 Feb 2022 23:09:09 +0000 peaches1038 2926375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my son had a similar experience when he was 5 where we were at a friends house and their playful dog came bounding up to DS. DS got super freaked and backed up quickly and fell backwards right into their inflatable kiddie pool. He was traumatized. It took almost a year for him to feel at ease around that dog again and he is very cautious around new dogs. Some things that worked for us was still being around our friend’s dog, but they kept him on a leash while we there until DS felt comfortable. We also read a lot of books that had dogs in them, talked about dogs we saw when we were out and watched some training videos on YouTube that featured kids. We talk about when and how to approach dogs (ask permission, only pet the upper back, calm body) , what to do if an unknown dog approaches him (don’t run or scream, cross arms and turn body away) and we are very vocal to our friends about having their dogs on a leash or in their crate/another room when we first arrive until the dog is settled. All of these convos with DS happen pretty organically when we see a dog out in town or while hiking etc. we don’t harp on it, just briefly touch on it and move on unless he wants to talk about it more. It’s been a slow process but it’s a lot better now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fear-of-dogs-suggestions#post-2926374 Mon, 21 Feb 2022 19:25:41 +0000 Corduroy 2926374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm looking for resources that would help my son gain some confidence around dogs and learn some basics about what to do when a dog approaches.</p> <p>My six year old son is generally pretty fearless except when it comes to dogs. It started last year when we were playing with some other kids in a wide open area. DS ran to another location and their hearding dog tried to bring DS back to the fold. DS is typically fast but I could tell he was running for his life from this dog. We discussed what happened and DS logically knows the dog wasn't trying to hurt him but he has so much fear associated with it.</p> <p>Today we were camping and an unleashed dog ran up to our picnic table while DS was sitting there alone. I was at the car not far away but far enough not to see it coming. The dog looked super friendly and just excited to play but DS started screaming and crying and tried to hide under the table which was not a great idea because that put him screaming in the dogs face. The dog couldn't hear it's owners call him back and I was concerned even this very friendly looking dog wouldn't react well to DS's unexpected reaction. </p> <p>I'm not scared of (friendly) dogs but I'm allergic so I've never gotten super comfortable with them. I mainly want to give DS tools so he doesn't escalate the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926141 Tue, 18 Jan 2022 00:11:44 +0000 bees_knees 2926141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry about your dog :( Sounds like he was a very special part of your family. </p> <p>Echoing sentiments of catgirl and caitcat, but also one more thing (not specific to pet loss)--when someone we know dies, I make sure to emphasize that the dog was "really really really old" or "really really really sick" or in a "really really really bad accident", etc...so the next time LO is sick, or at the hospital, or whatever, they don't think they will die. </p> <p>And yes, be prepared for a lot of questions that are a lot harder for you to answer than you may think. My sister died last summer and I still get many questions from my kids that I don't know how to answer, and a lot of repeat questions...I think it doesn't matter *how* you answer as long as you try to do it honestly and compassionately. And don't worry if you stumble over your words, or don't know what to say--she's two, so the exact content doesn't matter as much (IMO). Just remember they are very literal--for example, my 3 year old was very concerned that we "left my sister at the church" (at the funeral) and didn't know how she would get home. Which prompted a conversation about the cemetery, souls vs bodies, etc etc. </p> <p>I also think it would help to print off a picture of her and your dog and put it beside her bed or somewhere she can see it. My 3 year old carried a picture of my sister around for a month straight--still does sometimes. And my older boys picked a special spot to hang her picture in their room. </p> <p>The other special thing for us is finding a symbols of my sister all around--butterflies are her thing, and we see them everywhere. We also read a book together that said something like "whenever you find a feather on a ground, that means an angel has visited"... so my kids started a feather collection in a jar next to my sister's memorial picture--much like the picture next to their beds, it's something concrete that they are able to focus on. </p> <p>Anyways. Navigating grief is hard, and I don't think there's any right/wrong way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926138 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 20:37:27 +0000 karenbme 2926138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: thanks, we’re totally getting constant questions at this point. She keeps asking where he went, and our response is that he went to the hospital and then he died. It’s so hard to say over and over he died and try to explain what that means. We’ve already talked to daycare and made sure everyone is on the same page so she doesn’t get more confused.</p> <p>@caitcat: the point about waves is well taken. DD is too young to draw pictures, but I was wondering about putting a picture of him somewhere high traffic for her, like her room or in among the alphabet fridge magnets. We spent a lot of time today looking at pictures of him and it seemed to help her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926132 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:56:22 +0000 caitcat 2926132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry about your dog. It's so hard to lose a pet and helping kids through it really adds another layer. My oldest daughter was almost 3 when one of our cats died pretty suddenly. We explained it in similar, simple terms like you mentioned. My daughter loved this cat (he was so easy-going that he even let her dress him up with her doll stuff and push him in her toy shopping cart...it was amazing) so I worried about what a big hole it would be for her. </p> <p>I was braced for her to have lots of feelings and lots of questions, more like what @catgirl mentioned. It threw me for a major loop when she was fairly pragmatic about it. She seemed to understand what happened and she definitely sensed that we were sad and why we were, but then she quickly pivoted to things like, "Will our other cat get his bowl and his feather toy?" or "Do we still need two cat carriers now?" and it just wasn't the direction I was expecting in the moment. But it was her sorting things out in her own way. About a week later, she drew a picture of her and the cat while we were coloring and she asked if I could hang it on her bedroom wall to help her remember him because she missed him. So her feelings about it came in waves, and in some different ways than I was expecting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926131 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:02:23 +0000 catgirl 2926131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm so sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> <p>My DD was a little older when we first had to explain death to her, closer to 3. Within about a year we had two relatives die and then one of our cats. There is an episode of Daniel Tiger called "Blue fish is dead" that was really helpful. And we also found this article really useful: <a href="https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688" rel="nofollow">https://www.babycenter.com/child/parenting-strategies/how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688</a> </p> <p>I think the hardest thing for me was that she wanted/needed to talk about death a lot. Which makes sense but I wasn't fully prepared how hard that would be for me emotionally. But talking about it a lot helped her understand and process what was going on. The article talks about avoiding euphemisms, which we did, but we had to regularly remind our parents to keep the language simple and straight forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/per-loss-with-a-toddler#post-2926130 Mon, 17 Jan 2022 13:51:53 +0000 karenbme 2926130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We lost our family dog today. He was very old (best guess 15-16) but we weren’t prepared for it. DD is 2 and seems to sort of get it. We told her he died and that meant that his body stopped working and we wouldn’t get to see him anymore. But she loved him very much and I’m worried that we aren’t going to be able to know what she needs. I’m wondering if anyone else on here went through the loss of a pet with a young child and if you would recommend any resources. Pic of DD “reading” to our dog just before Christmas 😭</p> <p>[attach=5813/22/r5vb6f.450x600.3832F427-F475-4F96-9525-0991403F4919.jpeg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917064 Wed, 08 Jul 2020 09:26:28 +0000 honeybear 2917064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you have a garden/yard? Or a patio/balcony/window box? I think the lowest-maintenance way to introduce new animals to your children is to put in native plant species that your local animals/birds/insects like. You have to do some minor research, as the stuff labeled "native" at the big box stores and even some locally-owned nurseries frequently isn't, but it's not hard to figure out what plants the local butterflies especially like. Then all you have to do is keep the plants alive (way less work than a pet) and the animals/birds/insects come to you. </p> <p>I know this approach isn't a pet-in-your-room solution, but it has lots of benefits, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917063 Wed, 08 Jul 2020 07:33:10 +0000 Cait1 2917063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Seconding the lizard recommendations. We just got a leopard gecko for our four year old. His tank is super, duper low maintenance and clean -no weird smells which I was afraid of. My son can hold him (supervised obviously) for short periods of time and gets such a kick out of it. The only higher maintenance aspect is feeding - the pet store told us that he needs to eat live crickets. My husband signed us up for an ongoing live cricket subscription though so they get mailed to our house every week. Not so bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917038 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 19:41:23 +0000 erinbaderin 2917038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agreeing about hamsters - I remember having one and it was cute but I had to put the cage in the bathroom at night because it kept me awake. Also it was a biter.</p> <p>What about some kind of lizard? We currently have some caterpillars that we found in the garden and are trying to get into butterflies and I’m enjoying them and was thinking similarly about low maintenance pets, and those occurred to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917027 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 13:40:10 +0000 Lahela017 2917027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just want to say that guinea pigs are not low maintenance either. They are more involved then a hamster. They require daily food, fresh food, daily cage cleaning, and interaction. You have to deep clean the cage at least once a week. Also, you need at least two because they are social animals, and you need a large cage. The ones they sell at pet stores are too small.</p> <p>I've at a lot of hamsters and guinea pigs, so let me know if you have any questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917026 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 13:02:52 +0000 RKitty 2917026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hermit crabs aren't a low maintenance pet. They need heat and humidity some species need salt water and fresh water pools. They need a varied fresh diet.... they are also nocturnal and escape pros.</p> <p>Hamsters and other rodents arent good choices because they're nocturnal and small - easy for kids to harm.</p> <p>A larger critter like a guinea pig (you need more then one they're very social animals) or rabbit or rat might be a good choice if you think they'll be safe with your dogs. But they all do need larger cages but once set up are some what lower maintenance.</p> <p> Bettas are good and there are other fish that don't need water heaters if you keep your home a decent tempature. If you have a established fish tank you shouldn't change all the water at once just 10-50%. (Like most weeks 10%) you can actually get tanks where you just need to add water.</p> <p>If you want a pet that's looks only you could look into some reptiles. Most are low maintence as long as you set up their cage/tank properly for their species. Though you have to deal with their food (ie mice for snakes) . Crested Geckos are pretty low maintenance once you set up a tank. (Mist once a day, give fresh water, mix up their powdered food, only need to feed bugs as a treat). But again most are nocturnal and the kids wouldn't be able to handle. (The 6 year old could supervised).</p> <p>It all really comes down to what you ( or your spouse) is willing to devote. I'd highly recommend googling care sheets for any animal your thinking of getting and avoiding care directions from most major pet stores as they're often wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917024 Mon, 06 Jul 2020 11:54:00 +0000 nana87 2917024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: that's a really good point! the dogs had zero interest in the fish but they'd prob notice the hamster...and they're herding dogs, so putting a hamster in a ball that moves around is just asking for them to get all riled up! we literally cannot have balls in our home without it being play time for them lol</p> <p>@muffinsmuffins: lol I remember my hamster cage being really smelly...</p> <p>@Lahela017: this is really helpful, thanks!</p> <p>@PinkElephant: omg hermit crabs scare me lol! the beta fish was a lot more work than we were expecting (though it was dh's job so who cares lol), and a tank full of water than has to be changed is a lot heavier than pouring out the litter/bedding for a furry creature... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917016 Sun, 05 Jul 2020 23:01:40 +0000 PinkElephant 2917016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got a Glow Fish a few months ago, and honestly it’s been more work than I expected it to be with changing filters/water, doing full tank scrub downs, dealing with some weird algae that grew when the kids left the blue light on, etc. the kids (3, 6, and 8) aren’t all that interested now that we moved them out of the kitchen and into an upstairs alcove. The three year old tends to remember to feed them, and then the others want to help, but the novelty definitely wore off fast. For the cost/effort, next time I’d be inclined to go for something more likely to give the kids some attention back and might get a hamster or Guinea pig.</p> <p>Or what about hermit crabs? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917013 Sun, 05 Jul 2020 20:48:06 +0000 Lahela017 2917013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have had several hamsters in the past. I think it depends on how much work you want to put into it since your kids are too young to really take care of one. It would need fresh food and water daily, and a full cage cleaning with new litter and washed down weekly. It's also good for them to get out in a ball frequently. Also keep in mind that they are nocturnal, so they will run on their wheel at night. They do have quieter plastic wheels compared to the metal ones of the past, but it is still something to be aware of. I never spelt in the same room as my hamsters.</p> <p>Hamsters could be a fun family pet, but they are a lot more work then a fish, and they all have different personalities. I've had some that don't mind being handled, and others that hated it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917011 Sun, 05 Jul 2020 20:14:08 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2917011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh I also remember me and my brother each had hamsters and they were the wooooorst. Running on the wheel all night, pooping all over when we took them out of their cages, pushing all their wood chips out of the cage. We thought they were pretty cute but my mom told me when I was an adult that her and my dad were not sad at all when they died ha! I would stick with fish :silly: </p> <p>My wife had a rabbit and cats as a kid and she loooved both. Her rabbit was gigantic! I don’t think I would risk any small animal with dogs though...I’m imagining an accidental bloodbath 😳 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917009 Sun, 05 Jul 2020 19:58:28 +0000 Chuckles 2917009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you think your dogs would be about a hamster? I had one growing up and we had to be very careful to keep the cage up high and keep the dog away when we took it out to play. It was a little stressful and not ideal, though we did manage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hamster-or-fish#post-2917008 Sun, 05 Jul 2020 19:05:04 +0000 nana87 2917008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you were going to get your lo a small pet, what would you get?</p> <p>Los (3 and 6) had a beta fish for about a year and a half that just died. We also have two dogs, but they really liked having a low-ish maintenance pet that lived in their shared room. We already have a tank, but are thinking about other pets that could live inside. I had a hamster growing up and don’t remember it being too much work, and it could be a bit more fun/interactive than a fish...</p> <p>What would you get? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye-to-a-pet#post-2914957 Mon, 04 May 2020 20:53:39 +0000 Lahela017 2914957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have guinea pigs and I had then growing up. They are definitely more work then a young child could handle. I would re-home them for sure, if you can find a good family for them. Just be sure you keep them together.</p> <p>Growing up, my sister took in a guinea pig that one of my friends no longer wanted, we were happy to provide a home for it, and we certainly never judged my friend or her family who gave us the guinea pig. We were just happy to give it a home where it was wanted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye-to-a-pet#post-2914951 Mon, 04 May 2020 17:52:14 +0000 Becky 2914951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for the feedback/insight. We still aren’t 100% sure and need to talk more about it but it’s helpful to hear first hand accounts and also the term re-homing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye-to-a-pet#post-2914948 Mon, 04 May 2020 16:27:16 +0000 Chuckles 2914948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand how you feel. We adopted two dogs at the same time. One was super crazy and instinctively chased our cat, who was terrorized. We tried to make it work for a few weeks, but we just couldn't deal with trying to keep them apart and give everyone, including DS, enough attention. Plus I was just overwhelmed with this dog jumping and running around nonstop. I *never* thought I would be someone who would do this, but we took the crazy dog back to the shelter we adopted her from. I still am sad about it and wonder how she's doing, but, like @jennypenny: said, once we were on the other side of making a really hard decision, it was definitely what was best for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye-to-a-pet#post-2914947 Mon, 04 May 2020 14:34:07 +0000 lindseykaye 2914947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our situation was a bit different because it was a decision not to keep a longer-term foster vs. rehoming a pet we'd officially adopted, but it still sucked.</p> <p>We had found and started fostering a younger dog, working with the agency who we had adopted our first dog from. The idea was that we would be the eventual adopters, depending on how he fit our family. In the mean-time we would care for him and financially sponsor him, all that good stuff.<br /> DH in particular was in love with this dog - he was the goodest boy. He and the two pups would walk for like an hour every night together after DDs bedtime. But our older dog turned out to be very much an only-dog household kind of girl. It was hard on all of us to make the final decision but we committed to her first, and her quality of life was not as good with a second dog in the house. So, when a young couple whose family had owned large dogs fell for him at an adoption event we knew it was right. We're still FB friends and see his pictures all the time which is pretty great. It was so hard on all of us after over a year with him, but it was the right thing to do.</p> <p>I'm sorry you have to make this decision, but if you've already gotten here you know it's the right choice for you too. You're being a responsible pet owner to consider rehoming and I think framing it as doing the right thing for the animal vs. doing what the people (aka children) want helped in our case. DD was sad he was going to live somewhere else but she latched onto how happy he would be in his new home and that helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye-to-a-pet#post-2914944 Mon, 04 May 2020 12:52:52 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2914944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had to rehome our cat when DW was pregnant with our first son. We had moved A few years prior from an area where he could be outdoors sometimes to an area that we found out afterwards wasn’t safe for him to be outdoors and he became a mostly indoor cat. He seemed fine for a couple years but then began acting out behaviours quite a while before DW got pregnant. We had him evaluated at the vet, put on meds, everything but he seemed so so so unhappy. Granted, I never liked cats, but when DW came to me and said she was thinking of finding him a better home, I knew it was bad. She was pregnant and distraught so I had to do it all.</p> <p>I found a lovely older woman who lived on a farm and was looking for a cat. I packed up all his stuff and took him there one morning and never heard anything else afterwards. She was very kind and I know it was the right choice for all involved. I still wonder how it went even 5+ years later.</p> <p>That being said, I felt absolutely awful about it for quite a while afterwards, even though I really didn’t like the cat at all. I vowed to never get another pet unless we could commit to them for life. Our dog passed away one year ago today actually and we haven’t gotten another for this reason and will wait for our kids to be older. My kids and DW would absolutely love a cat but I’m adamant I never want to do that again unless we can have it for 15 yrs+ no matter what. Unfortunately, in our area there aren’t a lot of options when needing to rehome so I found that to be very difficult. We just lucked into finding this random stranger or else I don’t know what we would have done.</p> <p>I absolutely don’t judge anyone for having to do this with a pet so I’m sorry you have to go through it. I learned a lot from it, which I’m sure you will too as you said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye-to-a-pet#post-2914942 Mon, 04 May 2020 11:59:57 +0000 JennyPenny 2914942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We gave our dog to my BIL shortly after DS2 was born for reasons similar to what you mention: we weren't able to care for him properly and we found it increasingly overwhelming. I had been debating it for a long while before we finally pulled the trigger. Mostly I worried that it was a selfish choice and would be judged as such. But all I can say at the other side it was 100% the best decision for everyone and I wish I hadn't let me fear keep me from doing it sooner. I don't know much about guinea pigs but if you can find a family that would enjoy having them and be able to take care of them, and it would improve your family's quality of life, it seems like the right choice. </p>