https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 00:41:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918842 Tue, 08 Sep 2020 09:29:55 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2918842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>E was a November baby and I baby wore a lot to keep her warm when I needed to escape the house even for a walk around the neighborhood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918823 Mon, 07 Sep 2020 07:06:17 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2918823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our first was born beginning of November in Canada so our winters are tough. We definitely hunkered down and it was so lovely. HOWEVER, that’s super easy when you only have one kid to entertain! Our second was born early September and our older was in school so that took away the need to entertain the older one. We are done having babies, but this winter I’m setting up as much indoor and outdoor stuff as possible: we bought new furniture for the basement and organized the playroom, bought a pikler triangle and ramp set, and I plan to shovel our backyard where we have a swingset and slide. I also bought a build an ice rink in your yard kit if I get really desperate. We have sleds and hockey sticks and all kinds of outdoor play stuff. I’m dreading the winter. I would make sure you have a stroller or sled that’s able to be used in most weather, as well as all the winter outdoor clothing you can get for both kids. I’m worried about how we will manage if things close down again (older is going to in person school and little is in daycare) It’s definitely different the second time around even in normal times and way less napping, relaxing, etc so I would focus on how to keep your older one busy and active and out of the house for all your sakes. I would start talking to your partner about their role once they get home from work and make sure you get time to take a drive, walk outside alone, and any other away time you can manage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918821 Sun, 06 Sep 2020 23:51:24 +0000 Shybee23 2918821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the responses - good to know I am not alone in worrying about this, at least! We are still being really cautious and will probably continue to be avoiding indoor public spaces as much as possible for the foreseeable future. We are in New England, so I’m going to start thinking about best ways to bundle us all up to get fresh air whenever possible. And I like the idea of trying to think of it as a cozy time to hunker down with our new addition :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918557 Tue, 25 Aug 2020 09:00:13 +0000 Clementine12 2918557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shybee23: DD1 was a summer baby and I was much the same - going to a weekly group helped me enormously with feeling normal again. DD2 was born in December and I was kept so busy with taking care of both so there wasn't nearly as much time to do the little things like mom groups.</p> <p>I finished up mat leave mid-March so DD1 hasn't been able to return to her playgroups or fun activities, but she's a trooper. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918380 Wed, 19 Aug 2020 08:08:08 +0000 LemonJack 2918380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had my third last November, and I was really nervous because my first two were summer babies, and I could get outside with them. But, it ended up being my favorite maternity leave. We obviously didn’t have Covid, but we were extra cautious and didn’t go out much at all because we didn’t want to expose him to illness. I felt no guilt about just laying around and relaxing rather than feeling like I needed to get out and enjoy nice weather like I did with my summer babies. Plus, this summer was so much nicer with a bigger baby. He was on a routine, he wasn’t eating nonstop, we weren’t dealing with newborn fussiness, and it felt like it was easier to bring him along in a carrier when we were playing in our yard or going to parks, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918370 Tue, 18 Aug 2020 21:56:48 +0000 MoonMoon 2918370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also due in late October, and also wondering how it will go with my seasonal affective disorder and anxiety about covid and other bugs. But a part of me looks forward to it. Work has been hard, trying to juggle how to have DS distance learn has been hard. I just feel like being at home will allow me to "sit out" one Upstate NY winter and I'm kind of ok with it. Of course I might be singing a different tune in a few months :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918360 Tue, 18 Aug 2020 14:04:56 +0000 caitcat 2918360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first was a January baby and I remember one of my nurses after she was born saying that she thought winter babies were a gift because they provided a prime opportunity to hunker down as a family. I tried to take that advice to heart when it was hard to get out and about, and it helped me frame a lot of the time on our own through a snowy winter as a temporary thing, sort of a sheltered season. I think I'd have a harder time subscribing to that idea after months of social distancing and all already now, but...it was a helpful mindset shift at the time. </p> <p>My second was an April baby, so I thought for sure that we'd be out more easily than when my first was born. But between my high strung two-year old and the super fussy baby, getting out of the house was way harder than I expected. A friend had a baby around the same time, and we would call each other a couple afternoons a week - we'd each plop our older kids in front of the tv for a while, and take whatever the babies were doing in stride to chat for the half hour that the older kids' show ran. It was nothing big, but those calls every couple days were a lifesaver when it was hard to get out and have the connection in person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918338 Tue, 18 Aug 2020 11:10:29 +0000 graceandjoy 2918338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had 3 winter maternity leaves in the NE :happy:<br /> Half of one done during shelter-in</p> <p>I guess I'm an introvert to begin and having winter babies is ALL I know so I never felt like I am missing out not being able to take walks, etc. </p> <p>Do you have any friends/family that will also be sheltering in more or less, so that you can still see them in person? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918334 Mon, 17 Aug 2020 21:25:08 +0000 Mommy Finger 2918334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know where you live so not sure what the weather will be like but I was just talking about this with DH. Now granted, I'm not pregnant and my kids are much older but I'm still terrified of the winter and how to maintain all of our mental health this winter. My thing was that we just need to bite the bullet, suit up and get outside as much as possible. A lot harder for you with a toddler and a newborn.</p> <p>I guess what is your comfort level with everything that is going on? Are you comfortable meeting people at parks? Are there indoor places where you are ok with going on days where the weather is bad? By this I was thinking more like an indoor mall where you can take a walk vs an indoor play place. There's a lot at play here.</p> <p>My first maternity leave was over the winter and I know it was hard when it got really cold in January as I couldn't do walks outside at that point. I feel for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918333 Mon, 17 Aug 2020 21:17:16 +0000 Westcoastmom 2918333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No suggestions just want to say I feel you! My first maternity leave I was out everyday with various mom groups and baby and me groups and I’m mourning what this maternity leave is going to look like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/socially-distanced-wintertime-maternity-leave#post-2918332 Mon, 17 Aug 2020 20:36:42 +0000 Shybee23 2918332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is due in late October, and I’ll be home by myself with her and DS (age 2.5) for 3-4 months - which I understand is a huge privilege, and I am really grateful to have this bonding time. But I am getting really nervous about my mental health given that we'll likely be pretty isolated due to coronavirus. I had pretty severe postpartum anxiety/PPD with DS, and the only thing that seemed to help was getting out of the house. I met with a moms group once a week that was really my lifeline, and did a lot of "baby and me" classes, etc. - none of which will be an option this time. I'm also worried because my leave will be during the winter months (I was off during the summer with DS), which further limits our options for getting out. </p> <p>I do plan to sign up for a virtual moms group, but I know it won't be quite the same. I'm hoping we can get out for walks (weather permitting, and once I recover from my c-section) but otherwise, I am having trouble thinking of how we'll spend the day, and how I'll keep my mental health on track (other than continuing therapy and meds). </p> <p>Any suggestions for a socially-distanced maternity leave / ways of warding off PPD/PPA? And/or general suggestions for maternity leave in the winter? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-hide-your-ppd-from-your-kids#post-2892164 Wed, 24 Jul 2019 14:59:32 +0000 paigeface 2892164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: Many hugs to you mama! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-hide-your-ppd-from-your-kids#post-2892160 Wed, 24 Jul 2019 14:52:07 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2892160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: thank you for posting this.. this is something I definitely struggle with.. I don’t have any answers for you because I’m trying to figure out the same thing... I have both anxiety and depression. I have many good days but some are awful. I’m not good at hiding it. At all. I don’t lash out, but I’m just not fun to be around and I cry. And I just feel miserable. I’m sure it shows. I don’t want it to affect my daughters. But I’m sure it does. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-hide-your-ppd-from-your-kids#post-2892157 Wed, 24 Jul 2019 14:33:39 +0000 fuzzypeaches 2892157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you are doing a great job mama. But I saw this on my feed and thought of this post.<br /> Most importantly - I work in mental health and what I can say is it gets better and will get better. Have hope you will be back to yourself (or better!) because it sounds like you are doing everything right to get there 💕 </p> [attach=2992/19/pv5vo4.277x600.1297E976-3A73-4820-8BA2-2A50D0E08B4A.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-hide-your-ppd-from-your-kids#post-2891824 Sun, 21 Jul 2019 05:45:18 +0000 pachamama 2891824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all. These responses were so helpful. Most days I am fine but I have some anger/ "tantrum" type escalating behavior I need to watch. My son is taking a lot after me and it makes me sad- I so hoped he'd have the even-tempered personality of my husband. But he is social and funny and energetic like me. I don't know, hopefully I haven't royally fucked him up.<br /> @Ms. RV: thank you so much for reminding me about making sure the kids know it's not them. I forgot this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891823 Sun, 21 Jul 2019 05:28:56 +0000 pachamama 2891823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: I was the same way about environmental concerns. My school was under a construction project when I went back at 20 weeks pregnant and I ended up taken mental health and leaving bc I was so worried about weird shit contaminating me and the baby. I guess it was valid but I totally took it to another level.<br /> Your baby is starting daycare so I'm sure the anxiety is increasing! It will get better I promise! That adjustment is a particularly tough time for babies and you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-hide-your-ppd-from-your-kids#post-2891812 Sat, 20 Jul 2019 18:44:34 +0000 Silva 2891812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 6 year old got the brunt of my untreated PPA. I apologized a lot. And then once I was medicated and had it under control, when she asked about the medication I explained it to her in simple terms. I decided to take the approach of no shame in mental health treatment- both my husband and I take SSRIs and many members of our extended family probably should be on them but don't because of misinformation and stigma. There is a good chance my kids will struggle with anxiety in their lives, and I'd like them to feel like medication is a reasonable option.<br /> As for my 3 year old? I'm just trying to do better by prioritizing self care and taking my medication. He's too young to understand any kind of an explanation, though if he ever asked about the medication I take I'd try to explain it somehow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891802 Sat, 20 Jul 2019 15:32:53 +0000 MrsSCB 2891802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: @gotkimchi: I had no idea until I read a list of symptoms that talked about rage and irritability that it could be related. And then it hit me that maybe PPA could explain how I've been feeling. I've also been fixating a bit about safe sleep this time around... Like she starts daycare Monday, and I'm SO worried about whether she'll be put down in a safe space to sleep. Even though I know her daycare provider has a crib for her and is licensed by the state and county, and sleep spaces are a licensing requirement. Argh. </p> <p>@Mrs. Champagne: I'm realizing that with my first, I was irrationally concerned about environmental hazards. We started renting an older home shortly after he was born, and I worried a LOT about lead paint, even though the house had obviously been painted many times since it was built, and I had read that it wasn't really a concern as long as active construction wasn't going on. I was so relieved when they did the lead poisoning screening and it was normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891757 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 19:33:32 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2891757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like anxiety for sure. I had similar symptoms and my worry was about my own health, not the baby. Like constantly googling “symptoms”. Going to a therapist really helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891743 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 16:45:46 +0000 gotkimchi 2891743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just read an article about how no one talks about ppa/ppd and rage. It’s a real thing and I’d keep an close eye on how it’s affecting your quality of life and if it’s getting better/lifting or not. If you feel like you need help call your ob or even your pediatrician </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-hide-your-ppd-from-your-kids#post-2891735 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 15:44:50 +0000 Dahlia 2891735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell DD if I'm having a bad day (anxiety) and I think it helps both of us. I grew up in a family that never talked about negative feelings, and that made me really scared to ever feel bad. Trying to avoid that with DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891734 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 15:40:43 +0000 Dahlia 2891734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely. Irritability/rage is one of my key indicators I'm feeling anxious, even if I don't realize it. Call your doctor. Zoloft made a world of difference for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891733 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 15:30:59 +0000 periwinklebee 2891733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: while LO did go to daycare, we didn't hire a babysitter to come to our house until he was around 15 months. We've been doing it more often lately (there's been a ton going on, I'm pregnant, and just really needed a bit of extra help some weekends to ensure I can keep our life/house functioning on a level I'm comfortable with), and it's been hugely helpful... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891728 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 15:16:30 +0000 pachamama 2891728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>one more thing. OBs are really not trained in any sort of mental health issues. I think they do like 2weeks during their rotations on it. Talk to other moms and see if they're seeing a therapist or get a good psychiatrist who can prescribe you medicine. my OB was drastically unqualified to address my mental health needs and the Zoloft was a shitshow. she didn't tell me about how to wean, how long it would take to work, how I would lose the ability to orgasm, warn me of suicidal thoughts. She literally was like, go pick it up at CVS ✌️<br /> And about the babysitter thing. I know it is so so hard to leave the baby. But it's really important for the baby to be away from you every once in awhile and it's incredible how refreshing a little break can be, even if it's an hour at a coffee shop! looking back, I wish I had taken more time for myself. I think I would have made me a better Mom. I'm doing it this time though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891727 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 15:08:30 +0000 periwinklebee 2891727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry :heart: I tend to agree with @pachamama: that this is a good first line approach. Would it be an option to have a college student come Sat or Sun morning and watch the kids for a bit while you nap or squeeze in some other relaxing activity? Or have your husband take this shift? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891726 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 14:53:08 +0000 MrsSCB 2891726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBear87: @pachamama: yes, it’s so weird! My husband accidentally brushed my arm, and I literally pushed his hand away. It was totally involuntary, I was just so startled. He was like, “umm??” 😳</p> <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I totally relate. Especially when I forget things, I feel like a huge failure. Like I forgot about an activity I wanted to take my toddler to on July 4. It wasn’t a big deal, he didn’t even know about it. But I was just so upset and mad at myself. And then it makes me lash out at my husband because I feel like I’m the one always having to remember and organize things, so maybe if that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t forget so much....which is a real issue we’re working on, but it’s still not a healthy way for me to react. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891724 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 14:47:17 +0000 pachamama 2891724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: okay even the touch thing? Your body is pumping with sooo much adrenaline and cortisol because of having a newborn (it's actually a protective mechanism our bodies/minds do to protect baby) that it puts you on edge. I remember being so so jumpy and I never was before. It's biologically a way to keep you literally ready to pounce and protect the baby. I researched a lot about this because it was so scary what was happening to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891722 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 14:45:02 +0000 pachamama 2891722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: GIRL THIS WAS ME. well, is me. Exactly like you described. I think a lot of it is sleep deprivation though. And definitely PPA. Mine did not manifest in worry about the baby really either. I was extraordinarily irritable and ragey. Everything was a HUGE FUCKING DEAL. I was a FAILURE. it was so rough.<br /> I tried Zoloft and it did not go well but I know many women who've had good luck with it. I wish somebody would have told me more about the side effects and showing me other options.<br /> if I could offer advice, I would let yourself regulate with hormones and sleep and then decide about a medication. But that's just me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891714 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 14:35:54 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2891714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds a lot like what I experienced. I was definitely worried about the baby but for me it showed more as a need to control everything and every setback felt like the most epic failure and feeling like everything would spiral out of control because of one tiny thing not going according to plan. I honestly just assumed it was just me trying to be a good mom, so I never saw a doc but in hindsight I really should have and I would talk to your OB for sure. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-this-be-ppa#post-2891711 Fri, 19 Jul 2019 14:23:45 +0000 MamaBear87 2891711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Call your ob. I didn't have ppa but had major anxiety issues due to something else and had alot of those symptoms. Especially the being overly surprised when being touched.<br /> I take a supplement called myo-inositol and use rescue remedy to help. There are also lots of breathing exercises that help quite a bit </p>