https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 09:07:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827446 Sat, 09 Jun 2018 21:12:10 +0000 ShootingStar 2827446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last week I took DS to visit my parents for a few days while DH stayed him with DD. Both kids separately were amazing for us. DS was a joy to be around and didn’t drive me crazy with his over active behavior. And DD, who normally screams the minute DH gets her out of daycare and spends half the night screaming until bedtime, didn’t do hardly any of that. I think her behavior was maybe 75% less awful than normal. </p> <p>But when they’re together, we’re both just barely hanging on. We were joking that we should just live apart and have only one child at a time. DH even said he’s tempted to go pick up DS from daycare first and bring him home and then go get DD because she’s that different on the ride home. And once she starts screaming in the car, she screams when she gets in to be picked up and won’t let us put her down. Idk if it was because they both got a lot more individualized attention or what. Wish I knew! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827445 Sat, 09 Jun 2018 21:11:59 +0000 ShootingStar 2827445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last week I took DS to visit my parents for a few days while DH stayed him with DD. Both kids separately were amazing for us. DS was a joy to be around and didn’t drive me crazy with his over active behavior. And DD, who normally screams the minute DH gets her out of daycare and spends half the night screaming until bedtime, didn’t do hardly any of that. I think her behavior was maybe 75% less awful than normal. </p> <p>But when they’re together, we’re both just barely hanging on. We were joking that we should just live apart and have only one child at a time. DH even said he’s tempted to go pick up DS from daycare first and bring him home and then go get DD because she’s that different on the ride home. And once she starts screaming in the car, she screams when she gets in to be picked up and won’t let us put her down. Idk if it was because they both got a lot more individualized attention or what. Wish I knew! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827361 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 17:05:37 +0000 Mama Bird 2827361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm.... I used to see that when we were new parents, and DH would butt heads with DS over stupid stuff a lot. It would have been much faster to just give in and do it the kid's way, and if DH wasn't home I was able to do that. So, much less arguing and easier evening. Now DH has relaxed a lot and I'm actually the stricter parent!</p> <p>More often, though, I see that the kids bring out their worst behavior for me. When DH is solo parenting, they actually eat vegetables without going on about how gross they are, and go to bed on time. I get the requests for yogurt with M&amp;Ms and four more bedtime stories :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827355 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 16:03:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2827355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Idk we both "solo parent" often so I've seen behavior all over the place. Better, worse, the same, one kid better, one kid worse, any combination. Generally though they are better with two of us because with three kids they can get away with more if it's just one of us. Dh is stricter but I don't think even if they act better for him that it's in anyone's best interest for us to both parent likehe does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827352 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 15:37:03 +0000 JennyPenny 2827352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm...yep, I think its all these things. He's rising to the occasion to help. He has fewer opportunities to push my buttons because I'm less distracted by DH and have fewer things planned. I have more patience when he's not at his best because of this. He gets more praise because I'm so impressed. And its all a virtuous cycle... that's coming to an end... But honestly I think this will give me some perspective moving forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827351 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 15:36:33 +0000 snowjewelz 2827351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: Yesss... I know she's totally at the stage where she's so proud to be a big helper, big sister, big everything. Haha~ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827350 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 15:26:10 +0000 LBee 2827350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: just read your response! Very similar experience. I also think DS likes the verbal praise he gets - maybe related to love languages - but seriously who doesn’t like to be told their awesome all day?!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827349 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 15:23:37 +0000 LBee 2827349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find T is better because I expect more out of him. He is my “big helper” when DH is out of town and really rises to the occasion. Helping to feed the baby, loading the dishwasher. He’s into feeling big right now (assuming J is too) and it lessens tantrums because he wants me to think of him as a “big boy” and big boys don’t cry because they got a pink spoon not a green one. I’ve never been able to replicate it when DH is in town, though, because T moves at a snail pace and I’d much rather get help from DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827345 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:53:32 +0000 Becky 2827345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a mixed bag for us. Because DH isn’t often around, it’s hard to fit him into the mix of things and then I get frustrated which makes the kids behavior worse (terrible parenting, I know). Because my kids behavior is a reflection of mine I’d wager you’re probably right in thinking that because you are more calculated in your communication your child responds accordingly. When DH is around it’s exactly as foodnerd81 describes: they only want me and I get annoyed that I could finally get a break but now can’t because they’ll freak out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827342 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:44:26 +0000 babypugs 2827342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are great when I'm out of town but terrible when my husband is out of town. It's not fair! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827334 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:24:42 +0000 JennyPenny 2827334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: @DesertDreams88: Good luck, ladies! I was seriously dreading this week, but it thankfully turned out way better than expected. *fingers crossed* you find the same :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827333 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:23:10 +0000 JennyPenny 2827333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It's not solo time, just having regular conversations. Talking about our day at the dinner table, etc. </p> <p>@Foodnerd81: Ah, that's an interesting point too - maybe I'm also less annoyed because there's a lot fewer interruptions (1 year old isn't verbal yet) and so my behavior may be a bit more patient. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827332 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:17:05 +0000 Foodnerd81 2827332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has not been the case for me. DH travels about once a month. Usually the week starts out pretty good- and I do think some of it is that I’m not dividing my time/ attention between the kids and DH, so my 4 year old doesn’t have to constantly interrupt, which is a big annoyance when DH is home. By the end of the week their behavior starts falling apart. Then when DH gets home they get super clingy to me and don’t want him to help them with anything and DH and I both get super annoyed. It’s great. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827331 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:14:23 +0000 snowjewelz 2827331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never had to do extended solo parenting (DH has been out of town but I have family around). But I have to say DD1 who is also 3.5 is pretty good. I think she really understands I need her help and she prides herself in being my big helper (cue Daniel Tiger jingle). I don't think she turns into this amazing angel like yours all of a sudden, but I usually just keep tooting the "you're my big helper" horn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827330 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:11:52 +0000 DesertDreams88 2827330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: me too, starting tonight :crying: 4 month old and 2.5 year old. Thankfully I've asking my ILs to babysit for 4 hours each day but still. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827327 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 14:00:31 +0000 erinbaderin 2827327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m crossing my fingers that this is a thing, because my husband is leaving for a week pretty soon and I’ve never done solo-parenting for longer than about 12 hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827323 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 13:54:58 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2827323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you explain how you achieve solo time with your husband when your kids at home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-on-extra-good-behavior-while-a-parent-is-away#post-2827321 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 13:37:51 +0000 JennyPenny 2827321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I've been solo-parenting my two DSs (3.5 and 1) this past week and my 3 year old has been on super good behavior. For example he's been well behaved in stores and he's gotten dressed entirely independently every day this week when it's usually a fight. He even cleaned is room without being asked. DH comes home tomorrow and I'm trying to figure out a) why he's acting so nicely and b) how can I keep this going?</p> <p>I have 2 theories: first, is that I am spending more time explaining what I need and my expectations because I am prepared for things to go really wrong and I need them not to. If this is the case, I could see it extending into the future pretty easily. But what I think is more likely the case is that quality time is my DS1s love language, and he's getting a lot of 1:1 attention compared to when DH is home. This one seems harder to duplicate without messing up my time with DH. </p> <p>So, my question is: have you experienced much better behavior from your kids during a solo-parenting stint? Did you figure out why? Have any theories? Could you keep it going? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721268 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 23:08:38 +0000 Raspberry 2721268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not having enough time to get everything done before bedtime. I don't get off work until 5 and with a longish commute, pickup, groceries/cooking and bath time it's a real struggle to feed and put LO to sleep in time without DH to share those duties.</p> <p>For DH's last few work trips, including this week, I've given up and just taken vacation time to stay at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721264 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 22:55:08 +0000 Kemma 2721264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Emptying the dishwasher! And the after-bedtime tidy up </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721262 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 22:51:18 +0000 Dahlia 2721262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely being bored and feeling like the days drag. I'm solo parenting right now and I feel like I'm losing my mind by bedtime. If we get out or see friends it's better, so I try to make plans.<br /> @Corduroy: I hear you! I feel like 90% of the time DD gets sick it's when DH is out of town, and he's not out of town that often! I think she has croup now and I'm terrified of dealing with it alone if she wakes up having a hard time breathing tonight :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721254 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 22:12:57 +0000 youboots 2721254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@newlypregnantlady: I totally hear you. Now that I'm a parent I'm more of a touch person in general. I hate sleeping alone. It's so lonely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721247 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 22:04:05 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2721247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: my DH pretty regularly works late (usually home around 9-10), so I SAH all day and then do dinner and bedtime solo for several days in a row and even those days I'm so much happier. Even though I don't get any help with DD I'm able to connect with him at night when he comes home and it helps me immensely. It's pretty amazing to me how much his presence changes my mood (maybe because my love language is touch?). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721240 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:51:46 +0000 Corduroy 2721240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm rarely solo but I am on day one of a five day stretch. The worst thing this time is DD being sick. DH works from home a few days a week so he does the majority of daytime sick care. That's been especially helpful as I'm a relatively new employee trying to prove myself with almost no sick time. I'm trying to stay on top of my inbox during the day and work after bedtime. It's a lot on top of meals, chores, and pickup/dropoff of LO2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721225 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:37:09 +0000 MamaCate 2721225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the hardest thing is feeling like there is not enough of me and my attention to go around. So there are all these trade offs that leave me unsatisfied:<br /> -if I play before starting dinner then everyone ka hungry and cranky<br /> -if i cook dinner first then everyone is clingy<br /> -if I clean up after dinner the kids don't get attention<br /> -if I don't clean up after dinner then all.the.things have to get cleaned and done after everyone ka asleep<br /> -etc etc etc </p> <p>I try to make the best of it with quality time. And rotate the activities--some nights I will clean but other nights I play.</p> <p>Plus the things that help my sanity the most are making doing all.the.things "fun" like listening to a podcast or watching something mindless as I clean, and not sitting down until the things are done! Then trying to have a little down time for myself, even if I stay up late! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721205 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 21:05:17 +0000 lioneyes 2721205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mornings! DH usually gets up before me and gets DS up and they have breakfast together. When he travels, I obviously do it and it's so.hard.for.me.<br /> I know I should get up a few minutes early to put my contacts in and get his breakfast together, but I always stay in bed until the last second and then feel so rushed. And then it's so hard to get myself ready for the day once DS is up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721171 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:35:37 +0000 youboots 2721171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@newlypregnantlady: good point. DH and I are so close and I miss him so much. Not just as a co parent but my person that I'm so so in love with. It's easier to solo parent than it was for me before we had kids. His last overnight trip was a week before DD was born and I remember thinking I would never be alone overnight again which was bittersweet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721154 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:25:55 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2721154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me it's the loneliness of being separated from DH that is what wears on me the most. I usually have someone come stay with me if possible when DH is out of town for awhile and it kind of helps. But since I've been pregnant I'm just too exhausted to deal with a guest plus solo parenting, so when DH goes out of town I just get so down! He's got a mandatory work trip that will have me soloing with a toddler and a newborn and I'm dreading it so much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721133 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 20:02:29 +0000 Ajsmommy 2721133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>#1 dinner prep<br /> #2 bedtime </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-worst-part-about-solo-parenting#post-2721129 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 19:59:05 +0000 FaithFertility 2721129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Week day evening rush....<br /> Home<br /> Dinner<br /> Clean up<br /> Try to play for a.few<br /> Baths<br /> Baby in bed </p>