https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 19:34:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-end-co-sleeping#post-2927620 Mon, 31 Oct 2022 17:04:11 +0000 agold 2927620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@togetherthroughlife: thank you! I'm going to look into all of this. </p> <p>@pachamama: I'm sorry you are in this spot, too! With a CalKing, there is just no room for the three of us. My little one moves around too much. She will drop a heel on my face in the middle of the night, or slice me with a tiny toe nail even though I trim them all the time! Farts and snores are hard, too! :grin: </p> <p>@Jessiemuller88: thank you on the sticker chart! We actually have a big reward for her if she will start sleeping in the bed. Its costly but my husband and I are dying for her to get out of our bed and so cost doesn't matter at this point. I really like the sticker chart to hopefully be a visual for her and give her motivation. </p> <p>@bhbee: We have thought about this. My oldest girl is such a good sleeper and does not want to sleep anywhere near my youngest. So this will solely be my burden to bear and work through with my youngest. :silly: </p> <p>A few nights in and there seems to be the tiniest sliver of hope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-end-co-sleeping#post-2927614 Sun, 30 Oct 2022 00:42:22 +0000 bhbee 2927614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there an option to have your kids sleep in the same room for a while? Not sure how your beds are setup but when my third was born, we put my older two together and it really helped my middle’s sleep issues. The oldest still had her own room for her clothes/toys/etc but just slept with him (separate twin beds). Just throwing it out there as it seemed to calm him to know his sister was there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-end-co-sleeping#post-2927613 Sat, 29 Oct 2022 10:34:15 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2927613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: We went through this with my oldest DS but when the twins were born, we really needed him going down easier in his own bed. I used a hand made sticker chart. Started with 3 nights then added to the chart as time passed. Basically any night he’d stay in his bed after we read, and stayed the entire night, he would earn a sticker. After he filled the chart he’d get a prize. We increased it over time and eventually did away with it completely after a month or so. It worked for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-end-co-sleeping#post-2927612 Fri, 28 Oct 2022 09:26:46 +0000 pachamama 2927612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Solidarity. I wish I had advice for you but I am literally in the exact same position. My kids are the same ages too. You don't sleep well though? I sleep well with my little guy in my bed . He's a much better sleeping partner than my husband lol who is gross and farts and snores. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-end-co-sleeping#post-2927611 Thu, 27 Oct 2022 21:01:37 +0000 togetherthroughlife 2927611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like a sleep association issue, primarily. I would recommend a few different things! There is an Instagram account called Our Mama Village that is amazing. She is a therapist and has a Bedtime Battles course that could help. It would be age appropriate. Another more personalized option would be a sleep psychologist — you should be able to get a referral through your PCP and a lot of the larger hospitals offer services via Telehealth due to the pandemic too. If you’re familiar with sleep association, it’s basically meaning that when your kiddo falls asleep with you in the room, if/when they stir and wake up, they expect you to be in the room. They associate sleep with you. With the way they fell asleep. It’s more complex obviously but it sounds a bit like that! There IS hope — our kiddo had this exact same issue among other things, at the same age! Good luck. I’m sorry this is difficult! I know it’s a long road. But it won’t be forever! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-end-co-sleeping#post-2927610 Thu, 27 Oct 2022 14:44:46 +0000 agold 2927610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my 4.5 year has been co-sleeping with my and my husband since she was 18 months. I ordered her a bed in February and it was finally delivered two days ago. She loves her room but is scared to sleep alone. I think she legit has some anxiety in general (too scared to go to sunday school at church, but okay to go to preschool with all of her friends). </p> <p>I can get her to sleep in her room by laying with her until she falls asleep. Then she wakes approximately 4 hours later and searches the house for me and I haven't been able to escape her room thereafter. My 6 yo is an amazing champion sleeper. </p> <p>I'm headed into sleep deprivation psychosis soon which is how I got into this mess to begin with. Any tips? Please! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-sleep-regression-3#post-2904093 Mon, 02 Dec 2019 12:53:35 +0000 agold 2904093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: thanks for letting me know you came through it! I totally agree about all of this feeling like a blur. That's great your husband helped during the night. Mine is starting to be so helpful, too. </p> <p>@CObee: No, it doesn't seem harsh. It seems uncomfortable, though! How did you stand over the crib and do that??? It sounds like a good option, though. </p> <p>@SweetiePie: Okay, thanks for admitting to wanting to punch the wall. I have started to get a little irrational in the midst of these unending middle of the night rockings. That's why I cut out nursing cold turkey. Just, no more! So, I would totally consider cio. I did it once for this baby when she was 6 or 8 months old and it wasn't bad at all. I tried it more recently and she cried for 75 minutes and started to get some hyperventilating sound and I just couldn't let her go on because I feared some medical problem was happening. And then I was like, whoa, I can't believe i let her cry for 75 minutes. Ugh. I want to try it again at some point in the next couple of weeks if this is all still going on. I'm turning back into a scary looking zombie at work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-sleep-regression-3#post-2904031 Sun, 01 Dec 2019 13:09:47 +0000 SweetiePie 2904031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we just came out of this at 21 months. Meaning it started at 21 months. He was 4 weeks early and all sleep regressions have a little variance on when they start kid by kid. So for us it was basically 20 months.<br /> I don’t remember my first son’s being this bad. But they are just different personalities. First one hated cuddling and would dive from my arms to the crib. When he had his regression he’d wake up and cry and I’d rock him for like 5 mins tops and he’d go back to bed no problem. He just needed a little reassurance.<br /> This one though. Oh man. He is a CUDDLER and very attached to both of us which is really cute most of the time but from 2:30-4:30 am it makes me want to punch a wall 😂<br /> So we had about 2 weeks of waking around 2;30am (average) and staying awake SCREAMING unless we held him for 1.5-2 hours. The 2nd week of this he also screamed bloody murder when we put him down for the night. Same thing, naps fine. It was just bedtime.<br /> Well it peaked this past week when my parents came for thanksgiving. He screamed so hard and so long at bedtime one night his voice was hoarse the next day. And another night he threw up from crying so hard. This is totally unchartered territory for us.<br /> We finally just said f*ck it, lets cio again. One night he cried for like 45 mins. Next night he cried maybe 5 mins at bedtime and 20 mins middle of the night. Third night no crying at bedtime and just some whimpers in the night for like a minute. FINALLY the last 3 nights he has slept all night no crying. After 2 weeks of being awake for 2-2.5 hours a night I was feeling the same bleak feelings of the newborn days. I don’t deal with sleep deprivation well and it was almost worse becuase at least in newborn days you feed them and put them down, awake for like 20 mins? 2:30-4:30am was making me lose my mind. </p> <p>So, bottom line, we had to CIO. Nothing else was working. It wasn’t sustainable for us to take turns holding him for 2 hours in the middle of the night and if we kept doing that it would certainly create bigger more permanent problems.<br /> We never had to cio past 5 months with my older one. It’s way worse at 21 months. He was screaming, pounding his bed, kicking the walls and yelling DADDYYYYYYYYY MOMMMYYYYYYY and it was brutal but what else could we do???? We cannot cosleep. We cannot wake up every night for 2 hours. We couldn’t do checks (they made him throw up). All that was left was cio and as much as it BLEW, it worked within 3 nights. Everyone is way happier now, him included. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-sleep-regression-3#post-2904014 Sat, 30 Nov 2019 19:27:24 +0000 CObee 2904014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At about that age I think I had to switch my daughter from rocking her to sleep to laying her down in her crib, rubbing her back, and singing songs. She was mad and fought it at first but I just told her that it was that or just leaving her in her crib by herself. Seems harsh but I was literally rocking her for hours to no avail so I felt like there were no more options. She eventually came around and loved the singing and back rubs, and needed less and less over time until I could just sing a song or two and then leave her to fall asleep :). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-sleep-regression-3#post-2904009 Sat, 30 Nov 2019 18:37:53 +0000 LemonJack 2904009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: It’s all such a blur even though it wasn’t that long ago! From what I remember, she was pretty good about going to sleep, but her big issue was waking in the middle of the night and not wanting to go back to sleep. We did have her in our bed and just tried to get through it with as much sleep as possible. DH and I would take turns trying to get her to sleep - rocking, walking around, etc. We weren’t prepared for it because our older DD never went through an 18 month regression. I think it lasted about a month. </p> <p>I’m sorry I don’t have any super helpful advice. I remember it being so exhausting and frustrating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-sleep-regression-3#post-2904007 Sat, 30 Nov 2019 17:54:45 +0000 agold 2904007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: Thanks for responding! Did you DD2 not let you put her down? How did you handle it? Did you sit rocking her for hours each night? I feel like I'm more and more just giving up and bringing her into my bed - something I never would have done, and still don't do, with DD1! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-sleep-regression-3#post-2904004 Sat, 30 Nov 2019 17:02:32 +0000 LemonJack 2904004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember DD2 going through this last year and it was brutal! I don’t remember exactly how long it lasted, but suddenly it was over as quickly as it started. I’m sorry, I know how exhausting it is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/18-month-sleep-regression-3#post-2903999 Sat, 30 Nov 2019 16:13:44 +0000 agold 2903999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My girl has been in a regression for weeks. Please tell me your experiences! At night, its very hard for me to set her down. She falls asleep when being rocked, but stiffens up and yells "no!" when I try to lay her in her crib. I am usually able to get her in her crib initially, and after her midnight waking (but it can take up to an hour of me trying!). She wakes at least once or twice. She naps easy and great, though! She's never slept through the night. I weaned her and some nights are getting better, but still mostly are so hard. How much longer will this last? This is tough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/swaddlenight-weaning-and-sleep-training#post-2886484 Mon, 03 Jun 2019 12:36:01 +0000 lindseykaye 2886484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to update that the second night of one-arm out she STTN! She's started to be able to settle herself by either finding her binky or using her thumb to self-soothe.<br /> After about a week we went with both arms out and the miracle blanket wrapped snug around her middle, and then after a couple more days we started to use a sleep sack.</p> <p>Transition complete. Thanks for the support! She is now going to bed drowsy but awake after her tank-up bottle and still typically wakes between 4-5AM. We haven't night-weaned or done any specific sleep training but things are going well much to my relief. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/swaddlenight-weaning-and-sleep-training#post-2885289 Wed, 22 May 2019 09:22:55 +0000 caitcat 2885289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We dropped the swaddle first with my oldest, and then bedtime sleep-trained her about two months later. But we had to unswaddle pretty early with her because she rolled sooner than we expected, so I just wasn't ready to tackle anything else yet. With my second daughter, we started unswaddling and did bedtime sleep training at the same time since she was a little older at the time and I was just ready to get sleep to a better point. I think we slowly did arms out, but still tightly wrapped her body for a bit though...but the details are fuzzy. I don't remember it being much worse combining the two transitions or separating them out though, if that's any comfort. :)</p> <p>Both of my kids stopped frequent middle of the night wakings around the time that we sleep trained for bedtime. I'm not sure if it was dumb luck or something else though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/swaddlenight-weaning-and-sleep-training#post-2885278 Wed, 22 May 2019 08:27:39 +0000 lindseykaye 2885278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: Thank you for all the tips/ advice! We tried one arm out last night and she needed a lot of quick help through the night to re-settle but it was better than expected. I was even able to put her down awake but drowsy and she fell asleep on her own to start. Progress!</p> <p>And you make a great point about the sleep training/night weaning. I think they went hand-in-hand with my older LO but after 6 years it's hard to remember :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885237 Tue, 21 May 2019 22:46:17 +0000 crazydoglady 2885237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: Thank you for the explanation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885215 Tue, 21 May 2019 19:57:05 +0000 ALV91711 2885215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: it’s a good thing for coffee. </p> <p>@muffinsmuffins: we did the sleep lady shuffle for him to go to sleep at about 4 months and it worked good. He still can go to bed well it’s just those wake ups. I hope your good nights continue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885210 Tue, 21 May 2019 19:39:51 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2885210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: ugh. Sleep training was definitely helpful for us. We didn’t have to do it with our older but friends of ours used a consultant and I think it was worth it just to lay out a plan and have someone to be accountable to. Obviously from this post, it’s not perfect, but we are glad we did it. We actually had to stop on day 3 because we all got sick as well! We re-started and he got a mild cold again but we were able to get through it this time.</p> <p>@crazydoglady: the version we did was to remove sleep crutches like bottle to sleep and paci at night and then put him down awake in the crib after his bedtime routine and sit in a chair beside until he falls asleep. Basically ignore him while he fussed but can provide soothing by saying phrases or patting him every so often if needed. For night wakes, we wait 10 mins of crying before going in to him and then again stay in the chair. Chair beside the crib for 3 nights, 3 nights further away, 3 nights by the door and by the 10th night you leave for them to fall asleep on their own. We also did naps as well but slightly different (not sitting in the chair, just 10 min checks) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885208 Tue, 21 May 2019 19:29:59 +0000 crazydoglady 2885208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: Whats the sleep lady shuffle? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885207 Tue, 21 May 2019 19:28:30 +0000 crazydoglady 2885207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: Solidarity. I am so tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885179 Tue, 21 May 2019 14:51:17 +0000 ALV91711 2885179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: he still usually gets up twice a night. I think we are going to have to sleep train soon. The last couple weeks we have all been sick so sleep was miserable. His naps have been getting better. Down to three naps and one is usually over an hour and the other two are short. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/swaddlenight-weaning-and-sleep-training#post-2885174 Tue, 21 May 2019 14:35:02 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2885174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably do the swaddle first, then sleep train and see if the night weaning happens during that time naturally. My older son had a little trouble going from swaddle to not so we did an arm out at naps and then brought that to night. We also tried the marshmallow man suit thing ha but gave that up quickly. My younger went without the swaddle cold turkey and it was fine. I would do arm out first and see what happens...your baby might surprise you. I think I made it a bigger thing to with my oldest then it needed to be.</p> <p>Then I would determine what sleep training method you want to do and how strict do you want to be, tackle bedtime or the night wakes? We just used a sleep consultant with our 8 month old and he night weaned himself during the training so that might happen if you’re only down to one and lower supply anyway. We are also combo feeding for the last couple months with 2 pumped BM bottles and the rest formula with one nurse at night (now no nursing over past 3 weeks) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885168 Tue, 21 May 2019 13:59:50 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2885168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: yessss it sucks! I did the morning wake ups this past weekend and now that it’s the workweek again I feel like I’m sleeping in getting up at 6:15! Besides 4:30 am starts, how is sleep going for you guys? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885155 Tue, 21 May 2019 12:05:52 +0000 ALV91711 2885155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: that is awesome! Hopefully he keeps it up. </p> <p>Over the last 2-3 weeks we’ve had a few 4:30 starts to the day and it is miserable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885153 Tue, 21 May 2019 11:53:59 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2885153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: thanks for asking! We stuck with our regular routine and he slept until 5:20 as he had been with no wake ups! So we are happy with that and hope that can become our new normal...and hopefully we can stretch him to 6 am and onwards eventually. </p> <p>@nwm: thanks for this! Glad to know an off night isn’t outside the norm. I think I was panicking since waking at 4:30 makes my brain crazy ha </p> <p>@bhbee: good point. I think we always try to search for some reason things happen but sometimes it’s just weirdness! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/swaddlenight-weaning-and-sleep-training#post-2885144 Tue, 21 May 2019 10:58:10 +0000 lindseykaye 2885144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 5.5 months old and hasn't yet rolled over, so we are still swaddling her for all sleep. I am wondering what approach to take with our next steps. </p> <p>There are a few things going on - #1 is the swaddle weaning. We have been using a miracle blanket style swaddle since she was tiny. We have two Woombie style swaddle pods that we used with our older daughter but hadn't had success (or really we gave up trying) with this LO. Two nights we've gone in for night wakings and she's had one or both arms free. She's *so* close to rolling over, that I think DH and I have been kind of waiting for her to do that so we're forced to transition. Right now, we are not sure if we should try to transition slowly by swaddling with one arm out, trying the woombie again, or go straight to the sleep sack. I don't want to draw it out longer than needed but I also want to try and preserve at least some of the great sleep we have.</p> <p>At the same time, she is potentially ready to night wean. Right now I only nurse her on one side for her MOTN wakeup (around 3AM) after a diaper change and re-swaddle to help her settle faster. She has gone a handful of nights not waking until 5AM or so, so I know she *can* be night weaned but I don't know if it's too early for that. My supply is super low (we've supplemented from about 7 weeks) and I feel like once I night wean I may end up losing more supply and will likely stop pumping/nursing altogether.</p> <p>AND we are thinking that if we're going to shake up sleep, we may want to do some sleep training. We waited until much later with our first, mostly because we didn't really know what to do. Once we sleep trained it was amazing. But with an older baby she could put her own paci back in, etc. whereas this LO is just shy of being able to do that.</p> <p>What approach would you take here? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885143 Tue, 21 May 2019 10:00:53 +0000 ALV91711 2885143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: how did last night go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885027 Mon, 20 May 2019 09:17:38 +0000 nwm 2885027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't do any formal sleep training programs, but we have done something like the sleep lady shuffle for our kids. My daughter is 11mo and has been sleeping through the night for a few months now, but she does randomly have bad nights where she's up and crying and harder to put back to sleep. I think it's about one out of every ten or more nights. So I would just say, don't despair after only one night! I think it's pretty normal to occasionally have some nights be worse than others (especially if at 8.5 months he's starting new foods pretty regularly). i agree with PPs that i would keep the bottle after bath. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-questions-85-months-old#post-2885025 Mon, 20 May 2019 08:58:53 +0000 bhbee 2885025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: I’m with @ALV91711: - I wouldn’t worry about the sleep association at all unless he is literally falling asleep while eating (clearly not the case). I nursed all my kids before bed and it never caused a problem once I got them sttn. I find it very unlikely that’s your missing link! </p> <p>I do think sleep issues can just be unknowable some nights and you just get through it. Whatever you were doing worked, it will work again and it won’t be starting from scratch. Sleep issues always feel so awful in the moment but I think it will improve! Good luck! </p>