https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 20:35:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912745 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 20:07:29 +0000 wrkbrk 2912745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DW (professor) and I (lawyer) are both doing our best to work from home with our four year old and two dogs. It’s not easy. We’re both at about 40% of where we need to be but what can you do? I know we are fortunate to HAVE jobs but it’s totally ridiculous that my employer hasn’t said anything about a reduction in our goals for the year. Without it my salary will majority suffer. I guess that’s just what this pandemic will mean tho. At least we are all healthy and safe.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912742 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 19:59:44 +0000 wrkbrk 2912742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orange Lily: I’m sorry about your separation. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912741 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 18:55:24 +0000 Orange Lily 2912741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am an independent contractor with a 3.5 YO who is now staying at home. The good part is that her dad and I just separated (like, last week), so there are 3 days a week that she is with him and I can actually get work done. I've decided to just not even try to work while she is with me, aside from quick emails and phone calls. My work is really detail oriented (writing zoning code) so I would get nothing done. I guess I'm lucky that I don't have a boss to report to or expectations about a certain number of hours I have to work, but also I don't get paid if I don't have hours to bill to clients. So it's anxiety-provoking to reduce working time, but also the balance that I feel I need.<br /> I figure some people are in a better situation than me, some are in a worse situation, and it doesn't even help to compare since it's not a suffering Olympics. We all have to do what we can right now for ourselves in our own realities. It's completely preposterous to think anyone can work from home effectively with kids, especially young kids under 5, at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912732 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 16:54:51 +0000 JJ2626 2912732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s really hard! We aren’t allowed to have nannies here according to the shelter in place order so are going on week 2 of working from home with a 2 year old. A schedule helps and I think we need to do better at sticking to it. My DH gets stuck on calls and I am going to have to just tell him he has to hang up! Today has been rough and I find myself getting annoyed that my 2 year old won’t play alone and snapping at her and then I feel awful. So, honestly, it’s not easy!!! I’m already exhausted and don’t know how I’m going to do months of this but I just try to think of people that have it way worse than us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912730 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 16:45:43 +0000 agold 2912730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pajamas: Glad I'm not the only one still considering using a nanny. I've talked to mine about social distancing, as well. So, we just have to trust. No need for her to lose her house though so I will always pay her if I can. And this will hopefully be over soon - one month, 4 months, whatever. I don't wand to lose her. </p> <p>@MrsADS: You can probably find a high school senior for a couple hours a day. She will likely be very quarantined because kids aren't going anywhere these days. </p> <p>@MamaCate: Thanks for your response. Yes, scheduling some time blocks is what I'm going to have to do. And I'm going to be working when my husband is home so that I can space out my hours and still try to get some legit hours in. </p> <p>@HappyBaker: Yep. I'm spent by night time, too. Thanks for sharing how its going. I'm glad I'm not the only one right now dealing with this. Its tough and I'm finding that working at night just doesn't work for me anymore. I'll probably have to start waking up much earlier. Or, take my sparse exercise time off the table. Ugh. I really hope all of this passes soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912675 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 10:51:23 +0000 Mrs. Pajamas 2912675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm struggling with this big time. DH and I both work fulltime and are able to WFH no problem BUT FOR certain 2 and 5 year old co-workers. We had a very part-time nanny working for us to cover mornings and she lost her main job as a restaurant server because of COVID. As soon as we can get out of our preschool contract we're going to have her come in a few hours a day because we can't let her go income-less while we need help. We'll have a serious talk with her about social distancing, etc. but I think it's the best strategy right now and what we can do to put our $$ to the best use. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912673 Mon, 23 Mar 2020 10:42:38 +0000 MrsADS 2912673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been a disaster. 4yo and 22 month old. My 4yo is extremely intense, likely ADHD/on autism spectrum/learning disability (in the middle of testing which is indefinitely on hold now), and cannot stay focused on an activity for more than a couple minutes. He is very aggressive with his younger brother. I cannot leave him unattended for any amount of time unless he's watching TV... which makes his behavior 100x worse. </p> <p>So we try to trade off watching them in the mornings to get a little work, but even then, it's hard to concentrate because one or both are crying, throwing toys, etc. I can send a few emails, but I can't do intensive work that requires focus. Nap time, I can get a little done.</p> <p>And I can't really work at night because my 4yo doesn't sleep and usually wakes up at 4:30, so I have to go to bed.</p> <p>Plus, you know... cooking, cleaning the house, laundry etc.!</p> <p>We have strongly considered getting a part time babysitter, but we are really torn because it's a terrible idea with the virus. But at the same time, we cannot continue like this for weeks at a time! I don't know what to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912619 Sun, 22 Mar 2020 14:12:24 +0000 hellobeeboston 2912619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since both my husband and I are home for a few weeks, we decided to not have our nanny come for a few weeks, then we will re-assess. Week 1 was challenging but we did it. We mapped out our day starting with our conference calls, then in between those and doing some work we juggled the kids. Luckily my little one still naps, and we have quiet time for my older son during that time so that's a good window to work. I will say my work suffered, but everyone understands and many are in the same boat.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912569 Sat, 21 Mar 2020 10:15:50 +0000 MamaCate 2912569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I did it this week and it was challenging. My kids are 8 and 4. There were two days that my DH was home and off work and then the other 3 I was trying to juggle both work and kids. Because I am a supervisor and our agency is trying to figure out how to change what we do in response to the pandemic my week has included lots of meetings that are video based and a lot of time and energy.</p> <p>There were times when I was able to set up a schedule to shift between kids and work and it felt ok but other times when I had crying kids come up and need me when I was facilitating a team meeting over video. Everyone was understanding because of the school closures but I didn’t feel as available as I would like.</p> <p>What we are planning moving forward is shifts with kids and shifts with work, so I will do something like 7-1 available for meetings then DH goes into work and I am on kid duty with intermittent email/phone availability as needed.</p> <p>I think i would encourage you to think about your job responsibilities and how much is self paced and self scheduled and how much is interdependent with other people. The more self direction you have, the more likely that this may work.</p> <p>Good luck either way—lots of hard decisions these days! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912558 Sat, 21 Mar 2020 06:02:36 +0000 HappyBaker 2912558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’ve been doing this this week with 7, 5 and almost 2 year old solo and it’s not going well. I probably get in 3-4 solid hours a day, during nap time and when DH gets home from work. I COULD stay up to do work after the kids are in bed but I’m just spent, so planning to get a lot of hours in over the weekend while he’s home. I’m considering using up my vacation time and exploring the new FMLA that starts April 1 which you can take to care for your kids if schools are closed, but the language I’ve seen on it is really confusing so I’m not sure I’d qualify. I’ve also considered just telling work I’m switching to part time, or seeing if I can take an unpaid leave of absence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912541 Fri, 20 Mar 2020 19:01:44 +0000 Corduroy 2912541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are 7 and 4. We started Monday and it's been very hard. But it's hard for everyone, especially everyone with kids and my boss has been very understanding. The caveat is our business is very good right now and our personal workloads are actually light. That will change as things get crazier. </p> <p>My husband has dropped to 30 hour weeks taking 10 hours of leave for childcare. </p> <p>We anticipate getting a sitter/nanny at some point but we're self quarantined right now so that's not happening for a while. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912540 Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:49:59 +0000 JennyPenny 2912540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are 5 and almost 3 and I’m pleasantly surprised at how not-awful it’s been. I was able to get some solid stretches of work in each day. I’ll probably do a bit in the evening and over the weekend to make up, but overall work got done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912538 Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:41:20 +0000 KT326 2912538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are 8 and 3. I've been working from home with the little one for the last two weeks and with both of them for the last week. It hasn't been too bad, my director is in the same position (she has two kids slightly older than mine) so she understands that I will probably work in pockets when I can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912535 Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:38:19 +0000 Ms. RV 2912535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our kids are ages 4.5, 21 months, and 4 months. We tried working from home without a sitter and it lasted all of one day. We need a sitter even when both of us our home. Might be able to do it with just the 4.5 yo or just the baby, but definitely not at all with the toddler at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912532 Fri, 20 Mar 2020 18:23:22 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2912532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn’t have to do this because my work shut down completely and I can’t work from home, but we were going to do half day shifts each: 7-12, 12-5. Our bosses are understanding though and weren’t expecting full time hours from us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912529 Fri, 20 Mar 2020 17:18:03 +0000 Madison43 2912529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: our nanny came in last week, but it like of the looming lockdown, I assume we will be in this situation next week. I honestly have no idea - my husband and I are going to work in shifts I think and my 4 yo will particulate in some version of home school with my kindergartener to keep everyone in the same place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wfm-with-kids-at-home#post-2912528 Fri, 20 Mar 2020 16:39:52 +0000 agold 2912528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm finding myself strongly contemplating not having my babysitter come to the house anymore. So, I may have to be working from home full time, with two little girls underfoot. Sounds impossible to me. Please tell me who else is faced with this situation during COVID-19 crisis lockdown, and what are you planning to do about your own work? I'm pretty much close to having my mind blown over all of this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903631 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 18:53:05 +0000 SweetiePie 2903631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: some days yes and some days no :-) I enjoyed it more before my 2nd was born and my older one was in school 9-12 every day. Haha. I don’t hate it but I know it’s not what I want to do forever. I can’t imagine being being home when my kids are grown and I know it’ll be easier to get back into it now vs years from now. </p> <p>Some things I absolutely love - I’m a homebody and introvert. I love being in charge of my own schedule. I love being there for pick up for my older one. But the days are loooooong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903629 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 18:40:21 +0000 cake2017 2903629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Do you enjoy being home? @LadyDi: Yeah if you aren’t happy at work that’s a great reason to stay home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903624 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 17:52:38 +0000 SweetiePie 2903624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I first got pregnant with my first son almost 6 years ago, I was at a new job (4 months) and didn’t like it at all. When I took the job we were starting IVF so I knew that if I got pregnant I had an out. So when I did get pregnant I knew I didn’t want to stay. I waited till I was about 3 months from my due date and told them I didn’t plan to come back. They begged me to. Added some perks, raise, etc. but I just didn’t want to commit to an actual maternity leave and then feel like I had to go back (its just in my dna, I couldn’t take a paid mat leave and then not go back). Well, I should have 😂 by the time I left (2 months from my due date) I started to love the job and when I was 2 months PP I was begging them to take me back. But since I was officially not employed by then anymore, and they were in a reorg/hiring freeze, they couldn’t give me my job back.<br /> So it started as choice and ended as forced.<br /> At 1 year PP an old colleague reached out about a job opportunity at a new company (new to me). It sounded perfect on paper - 25 hours a week for the first 3 months then a slow transition to full time. Yeah, not the case. My first DAY on the job they asked me to fly to London the next WEEK for a full week. And it was the week leading up to my sons 1st bday. Since I had just started I felt I couldn’t say no. And that set a precedent. The 25 hours a week almost instantly turned into 35 hours a week, conf calls on my days “off”, asking me to switch days off (I had already made plans with my son on my days off). I left that job after about 3 months. My husband and I agreed it wasn’t worth it. I hated it. Oh, and my boss was a grade A douche bag asshole. </p> <p>I’ve now been out of the work force for 4 years and I have a now 21 month old in addition to the 5yo. I am considering going back in the next few months but it’s very daunting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903591 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 15:03:17 +0000 LadyDi 2903591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I decide to SAH while I was pregnant with my second. I was pretty unhappy in my job but I was offered a promotion and instead of feeling excited about it I mostly felt dread and anxiety. I took that as a sign that I wasn’t in the right place so I decided to step back and spend more time with my kids. Then I quickly and unexpectedly got pregnant with DS3 when DS2 was 9 months old, so right now I’m home with a 4 yo, 21 month old and 5 month old. I’m not going going to lie, the transition to 3 kids has been really hard. I had two under control but 3 has rocked my world a little. I tell myself a lot that In a year things will be easier but right now it’s tough. I also miss things about work, like thinking critically and feeling good at something. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m a good mom all of the time. But, I wasn’t happy in my job and my bad days at home are never as bad days there. I do plan on going back to work in some capacity in the next couple of years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903576 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 14:10:18 +0000 Littlebit7 2903576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DHs demanding job made the decision to stay home much easier for me. He travels a TON for work (and when I say travel, I mean...he can be gone for months on months on months, brutal travel in which he tries to make it home on the weekends no matter where in the world his client is based)<br /> Anyway, that affords us to be in the financial position to not depend on my salary at all. Daycare is also insanely expensive where we live. So that is a luxury to not have our hand forced. I do miss the interaction at work, and i DONT enjoy being home with both kids (almost 5 and almost 2) together. But if its 1:1 with the 2 yo and me, I enjoy it. I also feel thankful that I don't have a lot of the scheduling or sick day complications that my friends do. I can always do pickup/dropoff, sick kids are an annoyance but not a schedule changer.</p> <p>BUT what has made my SAH life better is having a regular sitter for the younger one, so that every week, i have a few hours to do what i need to do without a kid in tow. It is good for my mental health, my sanity, my energy levels, my efficiency, and general well-being. Again, a luxury, but i also feel like I'm sacrificing a bit of my career and sense of self to do this for my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903503 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 10:02:21 +0000 cake2017 2903503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I hear ya on health! It’s a lot. Told DH i will make a doctors appointment for me this week to follow up on some testing. We need to take care of ourselves so we are there for the family. Take care of yourself mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903479 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 09:02:40 +0000 Mama Bird 2903479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know if I really count as a SAHM. I also take long maternity leaves, and my latest leave was supposed to be a year but unexpectedly ended up longer. I'm planning to go back to work at some point this winter, but there's no fixed date yet, so...</p> <p>OK, the good: no more worrying if my school-age kid ate in afterschool (because no more afterschool). No more worrying if his homework is done and he understands the material. No more worrying about school days off. Incidentally, school is so much worse than day care about this - our day care was closed maybe 7 days a year, but school has upwards of 20 holidays, not counting early dismissal and snow days. The kids got tons of outside time this year, got to sleep in most of the summer, and grew several inches - last year, the oldest barely grew, and I'm convinced it's because he often missed school breakfast and "had no time to eat" in afterschool. I'm usually tied up with caring for the baby, but I still have way more time to do fun trips/school-related projects/reading and math with the older kids than when I was at work.</p> <p>The bad: I hate having to ask my husband for money. I didn't expect to still be dealing with major sleep deprivation one year in - I need my little catnap on the commute to work so badly. And I have major health anxiety - if anything happens to me, who will watch the kids? I've been putting off doctor visits because I basically can't afford to afford the time investment of following up if the doc says I need some kind of treatment. I haven't been away from the baby for more than four hours, even at night, and I'm feeling pretty suffocated. All told, maybe me being home is good for the kids, but it's messing up my health and I won't be able to keep it up long-term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903469 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 06:17:08 +0000 caitcat 2903469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm home with my two kids at this stage, but had initially gone back to work after my oldest was born. I taught middle school until I got pregnant with my second baby. We got to the point where we could swing it financially for me to stay home with my husband's income, which was basically what we were waiting on. He travels a lot for work, and having me home has simplified things so much for us as a family. Also, two kids in daycare would have been about as much money as I'd have brought in teaching where we live...so cost-wise, me going back to work after a second baby would have been a wash! I loved teaching, but had become disillusioned with many of the changes in our school district in my last couple years and was kind of ready for a change anyway...so in that sense, it felt like the right time to leave too.</p> <p>Once my second daughter was born, I struggled a LOT with being home though. My oldest wasn't old enough for preschool yet and I was in the throws of all the young toddler/baby stuff with no real relief. I felt so overwhelmed at that stage, but it's gotten so much better and I'm really happy with our setup at this point. My four year old is in preschool a few times a week, and my two year old is a pretty independent, easy-going kid. They generally play well together when they're both home and I feel like I don't have to be "on" them at every point anymore. We have a decent rhythm to our week with my oldest's ST/OT appointments, music/dance classes, preschool, etc. I'm definitely more introverted and content to be home more often than not, which I think helps it feel more doable to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903464 Mon, 25 Nov 2019 01:04:08 +0000 cake2017 2903464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I go back in a couple of months too! I look forward to it but ofcourse will miss hanging out at home with baby. Toddler is in school part time but will return full time(4 days) when I go back. He loves it and it’s important to us that he gets that whether I SAH or not.</p> <p>@DillonLion: so wonderful to read!</p> <p>I know every role has it’s up and down! nice to read you enjoy it though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903406 Sat, 23 Nov 2019 20:59:07 +0000 catgirl 2903406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us there were a few reasons: the cost of daycare was very high compared to what I was making, DH works a non traditional schedule that is very inconsistent so I would have always had to be the flexible/available parent, I wasn't in an actual career yet just a job that I didn't really like, and, honestly, we both just loved the idea of a parent being home. </p> <p>I absolutely love being a SAHM! Don't get me wrong, some days are brutal but I have never regretted it or wished that I were working. And it has been amazing for our family. DH has been able to focus on work in a way he wouldn't have been able to. He brings up all the time how happy he is with our set up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903405 Sat, 23 Nov 2019 20:58:38 +0000 DillonLion 2903405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was pregnant with my second when my husband got a job offer out of state that was more than we each made combined. He took the job and we moved. Being a SAHM is outstanding. I've been daydreaming of doing this for a really long time. </p> <p>I will say, I am NOT a homebody, so if staying home meant we would have to pinch pennies and I had to spend all my time at home with no spending money, it wouldn't be worth it. But the combination of working for years to get debt free plus this great job offer paved the way for this new life for us. We've never been happier. I'm so much less resentful than I was. And my husband is surprised with how happy he is with this setup. It has been unexpectedly wonderful for all of us.</p> <p>ETA: there's a big age gap with my kids: nearly 7 years. So my oldest is at school all day while I'm home with the baby. This is a lot more doable for me vs. say two toddlers at home with me all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903404 Sat, 23 Nov 2019 20:51:45 +0000 pachamama 2903404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you have a nice little set up!<br /> I have a very conflicted relationship with staying home with my almost 4 and almost 1 year old. I usually do not enjoy it, then feel guilty for feeling that way. I SAH because we have no good daycare options, and my teaching job allowed me to take a year leave. My first son was sick constantly at daycare and I wasn't happy with the care he got there. And I love my job- it fulfills me and the pay and hours are very reasonable. If I had a job I didn't love, I could never imagine leaving my kids in subpar care for it!<br /> (Also, I left work when 28 weeks pregnant because I didn't feel safe. My school was undergoing a huge construction project and we live a few miles from a Superfund site and I couldn't relax so I took mental health leave. Everyone says the construction project has been a nightmare (is there any other way) so I was sort of glad to be away from that!}<br /> In general, I find being home tedious and stifling. I also have a masters degree and 2 certificates so I kinda would feel like I wasted a lot if I stayed home! But I absolutely love going out every day with the boys (we do something every single day), I love being there for my baby when he wakes up from his nap looking for me, I like running around with my preschooler and reading his favorite books. I will miss this time so much when I go back in Jan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-what-made-you-decide-to-stay-home#post-2903403 Sat, 23 Nov 2019 20:48:43 +0000 RKitty 2903403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was regularly getting kicked out of daycare for biting.</p> <p>My daughter was due in the fall. And Daycare for both was going to cost around 2k a month with them at separate locations. Thats assuming I could even find a place that would take a biter and a place to take a newborn...</p> <p>Between most of my money going to daycare and the time spent for transportation and a few other factors we decided to go the SAHM route. </p> <p>But 75% of the decision was the cost of daycare. </p>