https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 05:03:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1836196 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 02:39:36 +0000 erinpye 1836196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry- it's so hard. I have no great advice because DD1 was a colicky, high-needs baby on reflux meds, who didn't nap at all unless she was held/ worn, and didn't sleep without being rocked or nursed down. No sleep-training would have worked with her: She was unwilling to self-soothe and would escalate her screaming, throw herself around, bite the crib, and hyperventilate, so we just went to her and either fed or soothed her, for all wake ups. A consistent bedtime every night, and a regular bedtime routine helped lot, and once we had that routine established, she slept 6 PM to 5/ 6 AM as a baby, with usually 1-2 wake ups, starting around 3 or 4 months (although would need at minimum 30-60 minutes of rocking after a feed to go back down each time). At 9 months old she'd have some nights without wakes at all, and then around 1 year old, we could do the bedtime routine, give her a hug and a kiss, tell her goodnight, and put her down awake and she'd go to sleep on her own, and often sleep without waking until morning. Now at 2, she's very easy to get to sleep. Hang in there and even though it's the worst right now and feels like it will never end, I promise, it will. Keep up with that bedtime routine! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1835992 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 20:52:55 +0000 erin81 1835992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misstatas</p> <p>First, I totally understand what you mean about having to doctors to tell you to sleep training without instruction. It can be very frustrating and scary. As a pediatric sleep consultant I can assure you that a sleep method only works for you and your baby when you are really ready. I work with a lot of children with high needs who struggle with sleep. What I have learned is that we aren't meeting their individual sleep and feeding needs. Often times, without even realizing it, we are putting our babies down at the wrong biological times or when they are overtired. I also say to look at a baby at 90 minutes to figure out their sleepy cues before become overtired at 4 months. I hope this helps :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1832485 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 13:40:04 +0000 Zbug 1832485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your goal is to extend the nap, that might just happen on its own. I think short naps are (unfortunately!) very common at 4 months. Most babies, if I remember correctly, start to consolidate naps naturally at 5 or 6 months. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1832365 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:25:04 +0000 birdofafeather 1832365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we did something similar to what @travellingbee: posted. first i nursed to sleep for bedtime, then that didn't work, so we did the 5s (which we had been doing for naps prior) and then when that stopped working, she had found her hands, so we transitioned her to a partial swaddle with her hands and then to sleep sacks... so a gentle transition for sure, but it took from about 4-5 months when she fell asleep on her own by sucking on her fingers (she still does this at 19 months) to extending her naps around 6 months on her own.</p> <p>good luck! sleep is so tough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1830692 Fri, 22 Aug 2014 09:50:51 +0000 ballerinabee 1830692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Looks like you've gotten a lot of good advice / options, but I'll throw this one in here too: <a href="http://sleeplady.com/books/" rel="nofollow">http://sleeplady.com/books/</a> Just recommended by a friend's co-worker ans being a miracle for them. </p> <p>I know the hardships of a high-needs baby who won't sleep. My LO slept in 10-15 minute bursts for the first 14 weeks, and didn't STTN until ~14 months (what is it with him and 14s?). It was hell, and made me feel like a bad Mom for being miserable. I hope you find a good solution. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1830227 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 22:56:49 +0000 BeachMama 1830227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My baby wasn't really high needs - she was colicky but had no reflux or medical issues. We sleep trained her around 4 months using CIO. I thought it would be awful because usually when she'd cry it would just get worse and worse. But the first night she only cried for 20 minutes and by the 3rd night she was fine. She's now 2 and LOVES her crib. She could lie in there all day playing and talking to herself. </p> <p>Find a method that sounds good to you and just go at your own pace. Take each method with a grain of salt and do what you're comfortable with. For us, having a lovey for her really helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1830104 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 21:25:44 +0000 misstatas 1830104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: I will do a search. Thanks!</p> <p>@BabyBoecksMom: that helps! I know I just need to pick somethting to try and stick to it for a while. I bookmarked this to try when I am off for a week in September. I don't think I will be able to be consistent about naps until then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829914 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 20:18:04 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1829914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Found it!</p> <p><a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95555" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95555</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829910 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 20:16:38 +0000 immabeetoo 1829910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misstatas: LO falling asleep on his own and naps extending were separate things for us, fwiw. We did no cry sleep solution and had a great experience; crying made his reflux worse and gave him gas bubbles (still does as a toddler). If you search, you'll find my old posts about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829900 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 20:14:02 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1829900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misstatas: both of my girls were/are high needs babies but for different reasons. My 5 month old has reflux so I understand about how hard it is to put her down. But, since she's my 2nd, I'm more go-w/-the-flow than I was w/ my first (who I was adamant about sleep training). </p> <p>Some babies just need more attention. If you're ok w/ how things are, go at your own pace. I do think it's too early to sleep train, and it will be much harder to do on a baby w/ reflux. </p> <p>I would say the first step is to work on putting the baby in the bed, drowsy but awake. I'm on my phone now, so I can't easily get to the link, but @Sandy had a really good post a couple of years ago that really helped me w/ my first. I'll try to come back and add the link when I find it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829771 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 19:39:46 +0000 misstatas 1829771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: the only issue we are still having is gas that sometimes wakes her up or makes her cry, but they say there is nothing that we can do about it and just have to let her outgrow it.</p> <p>The biggest reasons I wanted her to be able to soothe herself is to extend naptime. Now with her waking up every hour or two, and having nights like tonight where she is still asleep after rocking for 1.5 hours I would say it's becoming a bigger problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829629 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 19:01:33 +0000 Orchid 1829629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misstatas: Hi! I am in kinda the same boat ... struggling with sleep. I'm soaking up all this advice for myself. Hang in there!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829565 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 18:43:19 +0000 Kemma 1829565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think four months is wee but young to be full on sleep training but it's definitely a good time to start working on good sleep hygiene and introducing some solid nap / bedtime routines.</p> <p>I'd also recommend making sure that you're LO is in good health and has the reflux and dairy allergy under control before doing any major training.</p> <p>My last point is that you only need to sleep train if your LO's sleep is a problem for you! Lots of babies are nursed / rocked etc to sleep and continue to have night feedings because it's works for their families :-)</p> <p>Good luck Mama and hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829453 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:57:13 +0000 misstatas 1829453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownie: we have a small bed and two dogs that sleep with us so I've never felt that cosleeping in a safe option in our case. </p> <p>@birdofafeather: we would like her to fall asleep by herself to start. I've heard a lot of times it helps extend naptime (right now she only catnaps unless you are holding her) and STTN since they can soothr themselves back to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829300 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 16:33:02 +0000 birdofafeather 1829300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>what are you trying to train? just to get her to fall asleep on her own? if we know your goals, we can help! each situation can be so different! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829297 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 16:31:20 +0000 misstatas 1829297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: This sounds AWESOME! Totally what I was looking for. I was thinking it had to be all or northing since I couldn't find any info about how to do it differently. Thanks!</p> <p>@Lindsay05: Thank you!</p> <p>@abbylyn: I was a little shocked when both doctors we saw recommended we begin sleep training immediately. Now that she is up every couple of hours all night I am game to try some methods of sleep training. I wouldn't start CIO until closer to 6 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829089 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:55:25 +0000 abbylyn 1829089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think 4 months is too young for any real sleep training, most of what I've read advises waiting til 6 months. But getting a bedtime/nap routine going is a good start! We used the sleep lady shuffle with pretty good success. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829071 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:49:15 +0000 Lindsay05 1829071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice, just a welcome and hope you can find some relief! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829064 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:45:35 +0000 travellingbee 1829064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I highly recommend this method: <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trading-down-sleep-associations-an-alternative-to-cio" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trading-down-sleep-associations-an-alternative-to-cio</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1829043 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:38:36 +0000 brownie 1829043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a high needs baby (he is 3 now) and he isn't sleep trained. We have a bit of a different story, but before we knew what his problems were, we would put him down to scream in his crib (this was at just weeks old). He has never trusted sleep since then.</p> <p>So, since we found the problems, we let him sleep in his swing with a swaddle and the white noise machine. This was part of the 5 s' (the best thing I learned). This worked well until about 5 months old.</p> <p>Dr. Sears is the only person I found with any high needs baby help and he recommended co-sleeping. At 6 months old, he was failure to thrive and we decided we needed to nurse more often and chose to do that by co-sleeping (I worked and couldn't pump more). </p> <p>I have also found that my son, specifically, is a kid that was much more successful when he showed he was ready for something. I couldn't ever force him to sleep or eat or much of anything. When he decided to sleep through the night he did it (around 18 months, when we started night weaning and he had finally gained a lot of weight). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1828921 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 13:58:41 +0000 misstatas 1828921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, what do you do for MOTN wake-ups? She is in 4 month sleep regression right now so she is up multiple times a night. Before that she was STTN. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-a-high-needs-baby#post-1828823 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 13:39:18 +0000 misstatas 1828823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can anyone recommend a way to sleep train a high needs baby? LO had silent reflux (diagnoised at 2 months) and a dairy allergy (diagnoised at 3 months) that made it almost impossible to set her down or let her self soothe for a long time. During the past month we have worked on setting her down to play alone for a few minutes at a time. During the morning it goes well, during the afternoon it is hit and miss. All of this is to say I have no idea how to go about getting her to soothe herself or put her down in her crib awake to fall asleep by herself. I can personally attest to the fact that she will scream for hours and will not calm down or put herself to sleep. At her four month check up last week both of her doctors recommended sleep training without any real instruction on how to get there. I do have some time off in the middle to end of September and am mostly willing to attempt CIO at that time if nothing works until then. Does anyone have any suggestions on where we should start? We were nursing to sleep at around 8 pm. Recently we developed a bedtime routine of bath, bottle, butt change, swaddle and rocking and she's been falling asleep at 6 pm. There is no way to start it earlier because of work. Should we just try shortening or giving up the rocking and putting her directly in her crib? </p> <p>Sorry for the lengthy post! I am willing to listen to any and all advice on how to start sleep training. It would be extra helpful if anyone has experience with a high needs baby but definitely not necessary. I've tried looking online but my head is spinning and I have no idea where to begin. Help? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-with-daytime-naps#post-949971 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 12:41:54 +0000 hilsy85 949971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>IF you are at te point where you feel like you are done with the rocking, and can't do it anymore, then I would do putting him down drowsy, which sounds like very gentle sleep training to me. At that age cat naps are super common. But if you need to be somewhere and really need him to take a good nap, or you don't feel quite ready to give up rocking him, then keep up rocking. Personally if he's not crying I would keep working on him putting himself to sleep but if he got upset I would help him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-with-daytime-naps#post-949924 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 12:10:22 +0000 charlotte 949924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need a bit of advice on daytime naps. Our little guy (just over 4 months) is sleeping great at night...he is easy to put down and generally goes about 11-12 hours straight with no wake ups.</p> <p>The problem is DAY. I am a new SAHM so prior to this, there was no real nap routine as I was not home to see what the nanny was up to. There was definitely some stroller and rocking to sleep action going on and she never really put him in his crib, just the rock n play or would hold him.</p> <p>Now, if I see sleepy cues and rock him while walking around for about 5 minutes he will fall into a deep sleep that continues once I put him in his crib. The BIG problem is he is already over 18 pounds (!!) and the walking around is breaking my back. Plus I know it has to end some time. If I sit down to rock him in the chair his eyes pop open (how does he know if I am standing or not?! haha).</p> <p>If I put him straight into the crib while drowsy he does not cry but will stay awake thrashing around and talking for over half the naptime. And then only sleep like 20 minutes which results in crankiness later.</p> <p>Should I just keep putting him down drowsy knowing there will be some crap naps for awhile until he can fall asleep on his own faster? Again, he is NOT crying but I always feel guilty because I know a 5 minute walk around will get him to sleep and he is obviously tired.</p> <p>WWYD? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rash-fussiness-horrible-sleephelp#post-562436 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 16:06:24 +0000 winniebee 562436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyann: Early bedtime is ROUGH. The earliest we can do it is 7 p.m. since I don't get home from work until 6. I wish we could do it even earlier, but alas, my son ends up with a 4 hr stretch before bed. Probably around 6 months he could stretch it to 2.5 hours and then 3 hours and then around 8 months 4 hours. It will get better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rash-fussiness-horrible-sleephelp#post-562428 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 16:01:06 +0000 lilyann 562428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I think you are right about the earlier bedtime. I just miss him so much during the day, it's hard for me to put him down so early. Plus DH already has a hard time getting to see him at all but if it is what's best, then I need to do it for him! I completely agree about the 2 hour max wake time, I just need to make his daycare understand that as well. Thanks!</p> <p>@Sammyfab: He isn't rolling yet, and they swaddle his arms at daycare but he was doing so well with being unswaddled at night that I don't want to start again. I just wish we could see improvement with that rash. He only started taking a paci at night within the past month (when he got his first virus/cold), he isn't very attached to it at all so I don't think that is the problem but I will try to limit the use to see if it helps! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rash-fussiness-horrible-sleephelp#post-562357 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 15:26:24 +0000 Sammyfab 562357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry sleep has been so rough! I agree with @winniebee about skipping the late nap and opting for an earlier bedtime. If he's awake between 4 and 7 then that's a long time for him to be awake and it could be making him overtired. I also agree that if he is rolling then you shouldn't re-swaddle. I can imagine that the rash would be bothering him and making it difficult to sleep comfortably so I'd get a second opinion if possible!</p> <p>Lastly, do you feel like part of why he's waking so often is because he needs you to put the paci back in? If so, I'd see if you can help him back to sleep without it (you can try shh-pat or pick up/put down). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rash-fussiness-horrible-sleephelp#post-562338 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 15:14:40 +0000 winniebee 562338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>not sure about the rash....but 4 months is rough in the sleep department. my biggest suggestion would be to start an earlier bedtime (instead of a 5 p.m. nap) and go no longer than 2 hrs between awake stretches. at that age, my son could really only stay awake 2 hours before bed. i think you are right to not swaddle him anymore....especially if he can roll. you don't want to have to swaddle wean him again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rash-fussiness-horrible-sleephelp#post-562330 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 15:10:30 +0000 lilyann 562330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sloaneandpuffy: I think I might swaddle him tonight and see how the rash is in the morning since he won't be able to rub it. I'm sure some of the fussiness has to do with the 4 month sleep regression, growth spurt, etc. Thanks for repsonding and listening to my rant! </p> <p>@stiffaknee: Thanks for the advice! Going to try the swaddle tonight for sure. Thanks for letting me vent and listening! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/rash-fussiness-horrible-sleephelp#post-561643 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 10:00:53 +0000 stiffaknee 561643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter went through a phase at around 4 months...She would have complete and total meltdowns during the day (she slept well at night, though we didn't stop swaddling her until she was 5 1/2 months and rolling from back to stomach)...it was so bad I went to my pediatrician in tears-I didn't know what to do! We changed her to a hypoallergenic formula, put her on reflux medication and nothing helped. I read every book, googled every symptom, cried, googled some more....Eventually I just accepted that I had a "spirited" baby and did my best to be patient with her and with myself. But it did get better and you just have to remind yourself of that. </p> <p>If it were me, I would start swaddling him again. At least then you can get a good nights sleep and he wont be able to rub his face (and that might help the rash too!). My DD has a rash on her cheeks (as well as a little dermatitis) and my pediatrician said its pretty normal...</p> <p>Theres something about 4 months...growth spurt, wonder week, whatever you want to call it...that was probably the toughest phase for us! </p>