https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 02:09:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858368 Mon, 26 Nov 2018 12:50:45 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2858368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to agree with others here. The ethics of adoption, especially international adoption, were too hard for us to come to terms with. This is why we chose foster care/adoption (which has ethical issues of it's own, of course, but at least there is an attempt at family preservation). I've heard often that adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem (usually poverty). If the money could go toward family preservation efforts, I believe the vast majority of birth mothers would choose to keep their babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858353 Mon, 26 Nov 2018 11:08:52 +0000 Pollywog 2858353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know the people who run this organization and they are phenomenal. <a href="https://heartofgodhaiti.org" rel="nofollow">https://heartofgodhaiti.org</a>. I recommend reaching out to them and have donated to them.</p> <p>I agree with the others that the ethics of adoption can be icky. Many of these kids have parents, but their parents are too poor to take care of them. A better policy solution would be foreign aid and infrastructure development. But on a micro level these kids need homes and it's great to adopt if you're okay with the ethics (that the parents may come to say goodbye at the airport and that you are making it so a parent may never see their child again). I know that sounds super harsh. I don't mean it to be. It just is something many people aren't aware of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858345 Mon, 26 Nov 2018 09:40:54 +0000 gotkimchi 2858345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I belive Korea is closed.</p> <p> My husband and his sister (not biological) were adopted from Korea in the 80s. My husband is doing well, his sister has a lot of feels about the situation and has tried to contact her birth family and in a pretty wild situation it seems the husband told the wife she had died or was stillborn so the mother didn’t even know. After a few letters they cut off contact and I’m sure this was very disrupting in their lives as well. His sister is very active in the adoptee community now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858343 Mon, 26 Nov 2018 09:30:50 +0000 Kaohinani 2858343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi, Lazb!<br /> This may not be exactly what you are looking for. My 2nd cousin adopted internationally. She did so after her US adoption fell through. She was also very wary of international adoption for the above listed reasons, as well as, because sometimes, one does not end up with his/her child (same as in the US). She did her research and found Rainbow Kids (rainbowkids.com). They are international adoptions for children with special needs whose parents have left them. Some have higher needs and some have more minimal needs (such as were born preemies and were failure to thrive but are now doing well but may need minor educational support in Prek and grade school due to developmental delays). This adoption institution is not an agency perse but it helps you to navigate international adoption... It the same as used by the Little Couple. Anyway, she had adopted an adorable little boy from China (aged 3) that had been born with a congenital heart condition. He has not needed any further surgeries as of yet. He is now 5. I don't speak with them often but I do see pictures and receive updates from my aunt and, from what I hear, it was the best decision my cousin and her husband ever made. I do not know if this would be an option for you. I just figured I would put it out there. :heart:</p> <p><a href="https://www.rainbowkids.com/waiting-children" rel="nofollow">https://www.rainbowkids.com/waiting-children</a> </p> [attach=9021/18/pit2oh.292x600.Screenshot_20181126-095117_Chrome.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858342 Mon, 26 Nov 2018 09:09:05 +0000 pachamama 2858342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure this is advice but wanted to share our story. We adopted my sister from Peru when she was 2 in 1989. Things were very different then. Since then most of Latin America and Russia has closed their doors due to corruption and unfortunately politics aka men in power. This is prettty wild, but there was actually some talk of child trafficking issues with my sister's adoption (mostly just paperwork stuff and how the adoptions were handled) and our adoption lawyer from long Island was placed in jail for a while! It was on 60 Minutes 😬My sister's two sisters were adopted out and live in the metro New York area and are doing great. We are in contact with her family in Peru because I speak Spanish. Her brother is still down there and doing well. The mother is heartbroken though of course because she gave her three girls up at ages 5, 2 and 6 weeks.<br /> From what I know I think only Korea and a few Asian countries are open to adoptions? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858336 Mon, 26 Nov 2018 07:14:52 +0000 Mrs. Snowflake 2858336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsbubbletea: Yes, I agree with this.</p> <p>I have to do more research, but from what I've seen, the international adoption system is extremely corrupt. Though actually, a similar thing happens in the US with infant adoption (obviously not in all cases but in some): birth parents are paid to give up their children and fed rhetoric that makes adoption seem like their only option and keeping the baby seem selfish. </p> <p>I'm not sure if we will adopt; but if we ever do, foster adopting is the only way I could see doing it (even though I know how emotionally difficult and intense that is). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858328 Sun, 25 Nov 2018 23:11:29 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2858328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think adoption can be a beautiful thing but I find international adoption to be extremely tricky to “do right”. I have learned a lot in following a friend of a friend on social media who is an adult adopted from India as a baby. She had a wonderful relationship with her adoptive parents but she is very vocal about how complicated living as an adult adoptee is. This is an example of what kind of stuff she posts that would make me think twice. </p> [attach=5674/18/pis91i.277x600.2F25416B-D739-427E-B03F-0AB8A8D2F5CC.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/international-adoption#post-2858284 Sun, 25 Nov 2018 13:35:40 +0000 LAZB 2858284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whether or not we are able to have another biological child, we have talked about international adoption. My SIL (brother’s wife), and SIL and BIL (dh’s Siblings) were all adopted domestically, so it’s a distant consideration, but I have known several families that have been heartbroken by domestic adoption, so right now we are preferring international.<br /> We aren’t 100% going to do it, but we talk about it a lot.<br /> Any idea where to start looking? Reputable agencies? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595604 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 20:21:50 +0000 magnolia 2595604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: yeah it seems like the adoption process can often end that way, understandably. But that must have been hard for you. I would be interested in hearing about your experience with fostering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595602 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 20:20:03 +0000 magnolia 2595602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cheesetomywhine: wow thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about your dad. Your family sounds great. I have a friend who just did an open adoption, I had never thought about the bioparent not following through. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595600 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 20:17:38 +0000 magnolia 2595600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: thank you for.sharing. It's interesting for.me because I am a social worker so now I am seeing both sides of the system from different perspectives. The trauma that many children have experienced is heartbreaking. We may have to wait until our son is older given all of the challenges. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595597 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 20:13:05 +0000 magnolia 2595597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugsmama: that would be amazing, I think there are alot of children out there in the foster care system and up for adoption who have medical needs.</p> <p>I will check out those links, thank you so much </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595595 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 20:11:34 +0000 magnolia 2595595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsKoala: I think that would be an ideal age range. More independent but still young enough to bond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595552 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 18:20:42 +0000 anonysquire 2595552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a 1 and 2 year old bio kids, and just tried to adopt in April. The mom ended up deciding to parent. So now we're on the waiting list again but are finishing up our foster license and going to see where that takes us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595479 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 14:53:27 +0000 justjules 2595479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following. This is something DH and I are very interested in. We know several people who have adopted (lots of our friends have adopted siblings, a few of our friends). But only one of our friends have done foster to adopt so I'm interested to hear people's expereinces </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595252 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 10:23:52 +0000 periwinklebee 2595252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595246 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 10:11:07 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2595246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnolia: There are some really eye opening and inspiring fostering blogs, not sure if you know if any. Fosterhood NYC<br /> <a href="http://fosterhood.tumblr.com" rel="nofollow">http://fosterhood.tumblr.com</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/fostermoms/" rel="nofollow">https://www.instagram.com/fostermoms/</a> are two I follow </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595216 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 09:25:04 +0000 cheesetomywhine 2595216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum is a foster parent (became one after my daddy passed) and adopted my little sister. She was placed with us at 1.5 and the adoption finalized when she was three. Only difference is I am 16 years older and my brother 20 years older. The adoption was supposed to be open but the birth mum did not adhere to proper policies so she has not had contact for a number of years (my sister just turned 11). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595097 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 07:45:21 +0000 ShootingStar 2595097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We actually went pretty far down the foster to adopt route. We were in the middle of our home study when I got pregnant. </p> <p>There are many tough things about foster to adopt and in retrospect I'm glad it didn't work out for us, because I don't think it would've been right for our family. But I have such huge admiration for people that do it.</p> <p>We faced a few different challenges. Our son was just about to turn 2 when we started the process and we wanted a child in a 3-5 age range. But social workers want almost every kid to be either the youngest or the only child. It is much more competitive to adopt a younger child and then they likely aren't free for adoption, so you have some legal risk involved. It can also be more difficult to find a single child, versus a sibling group.</p> <p>The other big challenge of course, is the behavioral stuff. These are kids who have been through things we just can't even imagine. And so of course it affects their behavior and their attachment to adults. If it's an only child I think it would be easier to deal with. But with having a 2 year old already, we had to make sure we could keep him safe, as well deal with a needier child with more behavior problems. </p> <p>Good luck in your journey! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2595036 Fri, 29 Jul 2016 01:55:11 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2595036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnolia: I truly hope this works out to be part of my life in the future. I would like to do a foster/potentially adopt when my son is older, so it might be a bit less emotionally difficult for him. And then when I am closer to retirement age I would love to do medically fragile foster care since I am a RN. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594971 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 21:30:43 +0000 MrsKoala 2594971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are thinking about adoption or foster to adopt if we go for a 3rd Child. We both feel a bit of a calling or pull to do it so I think we are very strongly considering it when our Bio children are a bit older (4-6). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594966 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 21:15:36 +0000 magnolia 2594966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: exciting! I hope to hear more too. I wonder if there are other online forums adoptive families are using </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594923 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 20:14:55 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2594923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We intend to at least foster, if not adopt, when our two biological kids are a little older. I would love to hear more experiences! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594876 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 19:43:15 +0000 magnolia 2594876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peachykeen: Thanks for sharing!</p> <p>We may have to wait awhile for that reason since it seems it's harder to foster or adopt younger kids or babies and my son is still a toddler. </p> <p>I wish you the best in ttc. My experience with difficulties and loss are definitely part of thinking about adoption. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594863 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 19:34:06 +0000 peachykeen 2594863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've been looking into fostering after having bio kid #2 sometime around a year from now. The only real advice I've gleaned so far is to make sure foster/adopted children are younger than your current children to help current children adjust better.</p> <p>If we don't conceive naturally within a year, I think we will go ahead with starting the foster process sooner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594848 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 19:17:08 +0000 magnolia 2594848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jhd: thanks for sharing! Your family sounds awesome </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594841 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 19:02:44 +0000 jhd 2594841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents fostered for many years starting when I was around 4 or 5 and adopted my siblings through the foster care system. I am their only biological child. I think this is a wonderful way to add to your family. I'm not sure if DH and I will ever do something like this, but adoption will always have an extra special place in my heart. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-or-fostering-after-baby-1#post-2594833 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 18:54:12 +0000 magnolia 2594833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only know of a few HB families who have adopted or are fostering children.</p> <p>I'm curious if anyone out there is interested in adoption, and whether or not you already have a biological child by birth.</p> <p>We have our DS who is 19 months. I would like to give him a sibling, and for many reasons I am considering adoption. </p> <p>Any one with experience please share, including bees who were adopted. Or have adopted siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-gift#post-2568927 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 12:30:10 +0000 MrsSRS 2568927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe a gift card to a local ice cream shop or something fun they could do as a family? When in doubt, I always send picture books. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-gift#post-2568912 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 12:05:24 +0000 sungirl 2568912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How about an outing? Like gift card to zoo or children's museum </p>