https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 19:16:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874170 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 13:19:47 +0000 youboots 2874170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyPenny: I was also going to suggest Unruffled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874168 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 13:12:36 +0000 poppygirl15 2874168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My almost three year old will kick, hit, and throw items when he gets mad. I follow hand-in-hand parenting (similar to Janet Landsberry) calmly tell him, "you can be angry, but you cannot hurt people or things." I will repeat this over and over, often as I hold him so that he can't actually hurt people (me or himself) or things. I will tell him he can scream, and let him scream and cry. The only rule is not hurting people and things. I will sit with him until the tantrum passes. Usually, it doesn't take long before his brain turns back on and we're back to the races. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874166 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 13:10:19 +0000 SweetiePie 2874166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: @josina: someone also told me that and I actually googled it because it made me glad to know that there might be physiological reason! But it’s a myth. Womp womp. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874158 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 13:01:05 +0000 hitchhiker 2874158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: Play doh would be awesome for this. I think I would like some play doh to pound when I am mad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874156 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 13:00:20 +0000 hitchhiker 2874156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: It gets better! It's a phase! (Although a really hard phase. Mine loved to throw these epic tantrums in public places, which was just really lovely...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874151 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:56:06 +0000 josina 2874151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: lol, well that would explain it at least!<br /> @hitchhiker: DS loves playdoh, so maybe that would be a good option for him... and he can destroy that as often as he'd like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874149 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:53:36 +0000 gotkimchi 2874149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: @josina: I heard or read somewhere that there is a testosterone surge at 4 that mimics puberty. So good luck and god bless 😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874147 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:46:33 +0000 SweetiePie 2874147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hitchhiker: someone who has made it to the other side! Please tell us it does get better????? It’s a phase???? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874146 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:45:44 +0000 SweetiePie 2874146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: I think it must be common with this age because last week his teacher decided to make a “calm down box” for the entire class filled with tools to help them cope with anger and frustration. And this week she’s been talking to them about emotions and how to deal with them.<br /> It helps in general to know it’s somewhat common, but it doesn’t help in the moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874145 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:43:27 +0000 hitchhiker 2874145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went through this at the same age with my now 6 year old DD. She really liked to draw, so I would use the Janet Lansbury line mentioned above (it's ok to be angry, but it's not ok to do whatever destructive behavior you are doing) and then ask if she wanted to draw her feelings. It worked most of the time. I feel like it could be modified for other interests - build your feelings with legos, etc. I also think it takes some repetition, because my DD couldn't really hear me in her moment of rage. But she started knowing that it was something I would offer and kind of helped her deal, so then she was open to it. Now that she is bigger she will often ask to draw her feelings when she is feeling overwhelmed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874143 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:37:03 +0000 josina 2874143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: REALLY glad to not be alone in this. I was trying to pinpoint a change that may have caused this for DS and there isn't anything I can think of.<br /> He makes a fist, grunts in anger, makes the snarling face.. time-outs have been when he's most destructive since I'm not there with him, so they're not working in this case. But when we do, we tell him to go calm down in his room and come out when he's ready to apologize. We acknowledge his anger and make him tell us what he did wrong. </p> <p>I did find on another post to watch some episodes of Daniel Tiger and Sesame Street (Belly Breathe) that deal with handling emotions, so I'm going to show him those tonight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874141 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:28:44 +0000 SweetiePie 2874141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: SOLIDARITY. I could have written your post word for word and thought about posting myself. He has always been on the calmer and happier side of toddlerhood and at 4yo (right when he started full day pre-K) shit has hit the fan. He’s a different child and it’s ANGER. He grits his teeth and makes a snarling face at us, pants and screams and grunts like a wild animal. Hits the couch, and occasionally us but he knows he shouldn’t so he’ll usually slow it down to more of a tap but the intent is still there.<br /> I’m at a loss mostly because we’ve never dealt with this before. For the “normal” stuff we’ve always done a time-out and that was effective. But this is NEXT LEVEL and it has brought me to tears many times over the last few weeks.<br /> The positive (if I can call it that) is that he does eventually calm down and he knows he was wrong. He’ll come and apologize for getting so upset and be very sweet and regretful. But man, the moment of anger (also in public 🤦🏻‍♀️) is BRUTAL.<br /> A friend recommended we watch some old episodes of Super Nanny so I’m going to do that this week.<br /> Overall he’s still a wonderful child most of the time so I’m praying this is just some crazy 4-5yo transition/phase. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874139 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:19:23 +0000 josina 2874139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyPenny: Thanks, I agree that he needs a new outlet for his anger, punching a pillow would be a good redirection. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874132 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 11:44:59 +0000 JennyPenny 2874132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't dealt with this personally but I've been listening to the Unruffled podcast a lot and I think Janet Lansbury would recommend saying "I see you're angry but you may not X" and instead telling them how they can show their anger. So maybe keeping a stack of junk paper he can rip, poof balls he can throw, a pillow he can punch, or going outside to yell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/handling-an-angry-toddler#post-2874099 Wed, 27 Feb 2019 09:41:04 +0000 josina 2874099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 4 year old DS has recently started handling his anger very badly... He has ripped up a book, thrown things, tried to kick me or DH, and finally, last week he actually punched a wall(!) when DH wouldn't take him for an ATV ride. </p> <p>What are your tips for getting LO's to properly handle their anger? And what do you do when LO is angry?<br /> This is new to us because he actually has never been a big tantrum-er and would put himself in time-outs if he needed a break. </p>