https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 09:55:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2053555 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 09:33:59 +0000 SeptMomma12 2053555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a really spoiled cat too (truly our "baby" for 5+ years before LO came) and totally expected him to act out or get jealous. But honestly he pretty much ignored LO for the first two years. We definitely saw less of him than we did before (and he's a join you in the bathroom kind of cat too), but no real behavior changes. Then suddenly right around LO's second birthday he seemed to accept he was staying and now they get along pretty well. It helps that one of LO's favorite things to do is get him treats;)</p> <p>One thing we did do that I think helped a bit is that we still allow him to sleep with us. That's "his time" and it didn't change when LO came along. (We don't co-sleep.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2053454 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:37:50 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2053454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: My cat is like that too! I figure that when I'm home alone with the cat and the baby, I'll take the baby into the bathroom with me to shower and such, and leave the cat out, but I know she'll be yowling at the door the whole time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2053442 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:34:21 +0000 Dandelion 2053442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, cats don't care. They're just grateful for all the new things to sleep on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2053438 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:32:33 +0000 Astro Bee 2053438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following for any helpful hints. We're due with our first in 8 (yikes!) weeks, and have two spoiled cats. One is the really pissy demanding type, but I'm worried about both. The second one is more attached to me and follows me around the house. I think she has separation anxiety or something, because I can't go into the washroom without her trying to get in with me. They both love lying on our laps whenever we sit on the couch. I don't know how they'll react to such a big change in their routine/our attention. </p> <p>@MrsBananaGrabber: So you're not alone in feeling like it's going to be a disaster until you cat adjusts. I keep having visions of a cat jumping into the bassinet at night and smothering the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2053409 Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:09:15 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2053409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kinda surprised everyone's experiences went so well! I keep having these horrible visions of our cat getting terribly jealous of the attention and scared of the new noises and smells and acting out in some way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051988 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 11:31:30 +0000 kes18 2051988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't really do anything (we have two). I set up the baby gear and they LOVED sleeping in it (as most cats do with new things). But once the baby came they weren't allowed in the room she was sleeping in (at night). They didn't really seem to care too much about her. Usually they avoid her, even now at 10 mo they especially try to avoid her since she likes to try to grab them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051842 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 10:11:34 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2051842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I set up the gear pre-baby too. I'm not sure if it helped but it certainly didn't hurt.</p> <p>I actually found we had no issues at all until my daughter started crawling and walking. We ended up making a few spots around the house for the cat to go that are too high for the baby (a shelf on a bookcase and the top of a dresser) and we also leave our guestroom door open so she can be in there when she wants to get away from my daughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051841 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 10:11:15 +0000 avivoca 2051841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We set up the baby gear. The only things they wanted to play with were the car seat (Autumn loved to lay in it) and the crib (but only to run under the skirt and hide). They spend a lot of time trying to stay out of her reach now, so it wasn't a huge deal. We also brought home something that smelled like her for them to get used to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051820 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 09:54:51 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2051820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just set up the gear. They could care less about the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051803 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 09:39:14 +0000 Mae 2051803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't really do anything. We did set the baby gear up a few weeks in advance-- not necessarily for them but just to have it done. So I guess they were used to that by the time LO came home. But I don't really think you can prepare a pet for a baby. The first few weeks(months) are hard on everyone, pets included, but they'll adapt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051753 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 09:03:37 +0000 blackbird 2051753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I set everything up but they were so indifferent. The cats wanted nothing to do with a loud and unpredictable newborn </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051748 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 08:58:37 +0000 Tanjowen 2051748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would set your baby gear up a little before baby arrives. That was the hardest change for our animals, more so than the baby! We put the pack n play, swing and various items around downstairs and she got pissy f that we changed things on her, and peed on DH's car every night for 2 weeks. Once we got past that bump, she has seemed normal. </p> <p>The baby slept so much on arrival she would just hop onto the couch and stare at him and adjusted to his presence quite well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-getting-a-cat-ready-for-a-new-baby#post-2051687 Tue, 03 Feb 2015 07:59:49 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2051687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How did you prepare your cat (or other pet) for a new baby?</p> <p>Our cat is completely spoiled. She's extremely affectionate, and insists on sitting on our laps if we're seated and following us around the house if we're not. She doesn't go in any of the bedrooms so she leaves us alone all night, but first thing in the morning she wants to cuddle. I certainly don't plan on leaving her alone with the new baby, but I want to be sure that she eventually gets along with him/her and isn't too difficult and jealous about our attention being diverted away from her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crap-my-lo-has-resorted-to-biting-me-to-get-my-attention-and-its-working#post-887132 Wed, 26 Jun 2013 19:18:50 +0000 Raindrop 887132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cranberryapple: Oh for me a "play bite" can mean different things. Sometimes I open my mouth big enough to actually bite him but only bite down a little bit... not to hurt him. </p> <p>Sometimes I cover my teeth with my lips (kind of like when you are little and pretending you have no teeth with your friends) and I open my mouth big enough to "bite" him and again don't bite down hard at all.</p> <p>Sometimes I just make the noise and "nip" at him like quick little kisses and say "nom nom nom". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crap-my-lo-has-resorted-to-biting-me-to-get-my-attention-and-its-working#post-887120 Wed, 26 Jun 2013 19:10:06 +0000 Cole 887120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The tactic that has worked the best for me is to react strongly to the pain (a little exaggerated even) and then walk away. Obviously you can't go too far away but totally ignore him for a minute or two. After that break just resume positive interaction. At a different time model a better way to get your attention, soft pats or rubbing would be a good substitute. </p> <p>Good luck! I know it is not a fun phase but I swear they do all grow out of it eventually! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crap-my-lo-has-resorted-to-biting-me-to-get-my-attention-and-its-working#post-887016 Wed, 26 Jun 2013 18:11:34 +0000 deerylou 887016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cranberryapple: Oh good god, the nipple pain would be atrocious.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crap-my-lo-has-resorted-to-biting-me-to-get-my-attention-and-its-working#post-887009 Wed, 26 Jun 2013 18:07:18 +0000 cranberryapple 887009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: I've been wondering what it means to "play bite" or give "love bites." I definitely kiss my LO everywhere, especially his chunky little thighs, but I don't know if I'm play biting him. Does it involve teeth? Do kisses count? I used to blow on his tummy too! Glad to hear your LO stopped biting, and your smelling your LO really deeply comment made me smile. :) </p> <p>@deerylou: Thanks for your advice on how to lessen the pain of the bite. I'm hoping I won't have to experience another bite, but I feel like I'm walking on egg shells whenever his mouth gets anywhere near me! I've tried saying "no biting" in a stern manner but they've only elicited two responses, one - crying cuz he knows mama is serious/upset, and two - almost a sinister look. Good thing he doesn't bite when nursing! Hahahaha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crap-my-lo-has-resorted-to-biting-me-to-get-my-attention-and-its-working#post-886951 Wed, 26 Jun 2013 17:33:13 +0000 deerylou 886951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Push into the bite. Without making eye contact, gently push his head into wherever he is biting you - it reduces the pain by a land slide, and avoids the "ripping effect" when he tears his mouth away from your skin. </p> <p>I know it is *so* hard to avoid giving attention to something that hurts, but it is definitely the attention he seeks, here. I would give him lots of praise, encouragement, and attention when he's behaving appropriately, and remove all attention when he's behaving aggressively. I'm not sure if he is old enough to understand a short time-out procedure, but if you think he would grasp the concept, I wouldn't hesitate to very nonchalantly, and calmly give him some time away. If that isn't something that would work, I would very firmly look at him face to face, and say, "there's no biting," before resuming whatever it is you're doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crap-my-lo-has-resorted-to-biting-me-to-get-my-attention-and-its-working#post-886949 Wed, 26 Jun 2013 17:31:54 +0000 Raindrop 886949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you happen to play bite your baby?</p> <p>LO had such cute chubby thighs... I can't help but play bite them... but when he learned to crawl and get near me suddenly he would sometimes bite me. I think he was just trying to copy but his bites really really hurt!</p> <p>He only did it a few times and everytime I would stop him and look at him sternly and said no bitting. I also stop play bitting him... I miss play bitting... but now I just smell him really deeply. ^_^</p> <p>He doesn't bite anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crap-my-lo-has-resorted-to-biting-me-to-get-my-attention-and-its-working#post-886926 Wed, 26 Jun 2013 17:15:01 +0000 cranberryapple 886926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is 11 months old, and while he doesn't do this often, there are particular instances where he would do this. Well, only two instances - if I'm sitting in front of the computer, or when I'm trying to prepare food in the kitchen. He would crawl over, pull up on me, and then bite my leg! Nowadays when I see him coming close while I am sitting or in the kitchen, I drop what I'm doing and give him attention because I'm so afraid of being bitten, but dude, he has this power over me now! What should I do? I could avoid it from happening in the first place, but it bugs me that he's already capable of using that as a technique to get my attention. I don't know how to NOT give him attention when he does it either! Help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-24091 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 23:06:03 +0000 eeh 24091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No problem. Hope it at least helps come up with some ideas that will work for her daughter. I can assure you this is typical kindergarten behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-24027 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:01:08 +0000 tejbee 24027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: Ah! Great response! Thank you! I will pass this along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-24012 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:28:28 +0000 eeh 24012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tejbee: if the teacher is legitimately worried then she should be more than willing to sit down with the mother and talk things through to solve the problem. Even if the teacher isn't worried but the mother is, she should still agree to listen or at the very least correspond via e-mail. Your friend could easily suggest some of these methods as long as she's somewhat careful to not make it seem like the teacher doesn't know what she's doing and therefore needs help. Stupid sounding, I know. But it's reality. I'm a teacher and work with them every day...it would be a really good idea for your friend and the teacher to develop some kind of strategy that can be used both places, home and school. The sticker chart behavior sheet or behavior mats should work at either place. Making mats is easy..we have special ones from a "teacher company" but they don't have to be anything fancy. Even just masking tape colored dots placed on the floor. Ours have faces on them to help them visualize. Red=:(, yellow=:I, green=:). </p> <p>Honestly, I feel like half the battle is already won. Once the parents start to realize there's an issue and that the world doesn't revolve around their child they tend to get on board with solving the problem and it goes away quickly. I would also encourage your friend to not let her daughter interrupt her when she's talking to her husband or other people. Make sure that she sees that mommy prioritizes other things sometimes. Like if she's coloring and wants to show you a picture is is 100% okay to not drop what you're doing right that very second and go look. Explain that mommy needs to finish xyz and then she will come look. Of course, I think there also needs to be a good deal of time where she IS the center of attention. Make sure you're friend is showering her with a lot of praise for good reports and stopping and spending 30 minutes or so of uninterrupted time so she can learn that she won't always be ignored but that she has to wait her turn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-24011 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:21:37 +0000 tejbee 24011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UPDATE:</p> <p>She didn't have this issue prior to this year. But all of her previous school experiences have been with small groups, not a group of 25 kids. She has some of the same issues at home, but between the teacher, the principal and my friend, they have come up with a plan. For her bad behavior she will either be sent to time out or to her room for a period of time (15 minutes). There will be no warnings, (which provides attention), and we will not make a big deal out of it. Hopefully she will learn that bad behavior will earn her exactly what she doesn't want: being denied the pleasure of people's company. They will give that a try, and we will just have to see what happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-24010 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:16:59 +0000 tejbee 24010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: Wow, thank you so much for your thorough reply! I realize I wasn't very clear in the original post. The girl is my friend's daughter, so I think my friend is trying to figure out how to ingrain the idea of proper behavior in her daughter for when she is at school. I'm not fully aware of the exact situation, but it seems the teacher may have told my friend about how the girl is behaving in class and my friend is trying to figure out how to address the misbehavior after the fact. I like a lot of your suggestions. I don't know how the teacher is handling her when she acts out, but I wonder if the teacher wouldn't be open to suggestion of how to handle her class...it's a pickle!</p> <p>@AmeliaBedelia: My friend is in her early forties and DD is her first and only child, so there are no siblings. I don't believe she has had much interaction with other children until now... Like your sister, I have a feeling she is just going to have to learn the hard way, too... Thank you so much for your reply! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-23989 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:12:24 +0000 AmeliaBedelia 23989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was my youngest sister. Still is really (she is much younger.) My Mom basically would say this: It has to be addressed in every situation she is in. It can't just be at school or she'll only begin to dislike school. It needs to be a part of her life. If she's an only, it'll be a lot harder to grasp as a concept. Sharing comes a lot from interaction with other children - sharing attention counts in that. Some children are not born with as much capacity for compassion, so saying "Sarah needs to have her turn" only gets you a look and a scowl (or other attention seeking effort). </p> <p>I do think positive reinforcement is KEY in this. We compliment her when she does really well in different situations. She gets rewarded for her good behavior just like any other child, only that aspect plays a larger role than it might for others. </p> <p>I do have a question - is she an only child or what is her birth placement? My sister had to learn "the hard way" so to speak that the world indeed did not revolve around her. She learned this mainly through my brothers and I. In retrospect, we may have been a bit harsh ("The world does NOT revolve around you.") But it has curbed her attention grabbiness a bit. Not a lot... But she's learned how to be around other children a bit better. Our thought is that she'll thank us one day when she actually has friends. </p> <p>ETA: My sister is adopted. Her attention grabbiness stems from that and the "competitive" atmosphere of an orphanage. It's a constant struggle in my family. She is almost 8. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-23987 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:10:26 +0000 eeh 23987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about using the positive power of peer pressure? Can you talk about how sad it makes little Timmy that he is being interrupted by her? </p> <p>What about having a journal where she can draw pictures of things she'd like to tell the teacher along with a conversation about how Mrs. whateverhername needs to make sure she gets to help and talk to all the boys and girls and this way as soon as something pops into her head she can go write it down and then at set appropriate times she can share it with the teacher?</p> <p>This might be controversial but I'm also a fan of ignoring. Have clear expectations and perhaps even a picture chart of those expectations (raising hand, waiting her turn, working quietly, etc.). They would need to be pictures since she probably isn't a super reader yet since she's in kinder. After reviewing the expectations many, many times explain that not meeting those expectations will result in time on the mats. (In my classroom we use a red mat, yellow mat, and green mat which indicate thinking about actions, improving actions and attitudes, and ready to rejoin the group after talking with teacher.) If she's not meeting the expectations even after an appropriate amount of warnings calmly walk her over to the mat and explain that she will need to review the expectations until she's ready to rejoin the class. It's important to ignore whatever she does on that mats at this point. She's testing you to see if you will give into her power struggle. Make sure she can see what is going on in the rest of the room so she understands she's missing out on the fun. She might cry, scream, etc. but just do your best to ignore her and her actions. Refocus the kids with a fun, somewhat loud song or something they absolutely love so they won't be distracted by her. She will struggle the first few times but she will eventually realize that if her behavior meets expectations she gets to participate in the fun.</p> <p>Or, how about a behavior sheet? Keep it very simple with just 3 or so categories at a time. Raising hand, using kind words, waiting her turn, etc. then use happy faces and sad faces and break the day into chunks: math, story, calendar, writing, etc. and circle either face depending on her actions. Tell her that if she gets ___ number of smiley faces she gets a reward (sticker, candy, hug, special chair for 5 minutes, whatever). Send the paper home each day for parent review. Start with an easily obtainable goal like 3 smiley faces. Stay there for a couple days until she sees the joy in the reward then gradually increase the expectation over time. </p> <p>Hope your friend gets something figured out. Kindergarten can be a trying time for some but she'll get the hang of it. Hang in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/need-advice-5-year-old-girl-misbehaves-if-not-center-of-attention-in-kindergarten#post-23931 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 18:26:17 +0000 tejbee 23931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am forwarding this question for a friend. I'm hoping some of you bees can help out. I don't have any LOs of my own yet, so maybe someone who has gone through this has some insight?</p> <p>My friend would like to know:</p> <p>Does anybody have any suggestions on how to teach a bright, beautiful, 5 year old that she can't be the center of attention at kindergarten in a logical and thoughtful manner?</p> <p>When she isn't the center of attention she misbehaves, throws crayons, doesn't listen, sasses the teacher.</p> <p>Thoughts? </p>