https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 20:24:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-40039 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:07:51 +0000 Navy_Mommy 40039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rock n Roll: You make a lot of good points! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-40038 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:07:11 +0000 Navy_Mommy 40038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I'm with you</p> <p>I wore dresses EVERY DAY until well into the first grade. They were just more comfortable. But I also wore shorts underneath them so I could go climb trees and would regularly wear my "work boots" (Timberlands - what my dad wore to work). I mainly played with boys, because all my neighbors were boys, but I still played with dolls and did ballet. The first time my Mom let me "decorate" my own bedroom I picked out a comforter with green dinosaurs on it AND a princess mirror.</p> <p>If you don't MAKE it a big deal, then children won't perceive it to be a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-40009 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:46:27 +0000 Maysprout 40009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I disagree. I think using the term gender variant puts an unnecessary label on a kid that seems quite normal. Discussing in class all the possibilities for boys and girls and that they don't have to box themselves in is an A+ in my book. Labeling a child as 'abnormal' or 'variant' because she wears her hair in cornrows and gets confused for a boy in elementary school is just strikes me as really weird. I would have been horrified if I knew people were having that discussion about me when I was in elementary school even though I dressed more like a boy and my friends were more boys than girls. Maybe I wasn't the 'typical' girl but 'variant' just strikes me as a mean label. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39948 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:27:35 +0000 Rock n Roll 39948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually like the idea of the article, but think the teacher is kind of going overboard. I know when I was little it would have made me VERY uncomfortable if the teacher was singling me out and writing entire lesson plans clearly, though not overtly, about me. </p> <p>But in general, the lesson is a fun way to make kids think of different things. I remember "William Wants a Doll" from Free to Be You and Me, which had several songs about girls and boys both being able to do the same things, and that's from the 70s. So, it's not necessarily a new idea. </p> <p>However, I think it's important to remember that kids compartmentalize information in different ways. It's not just what is expressly told to them that they process, it's how they view society as a whole. I remember when my youngest sister was little, she was shocked when she saw a woman smoking. She thought only men smoke because up until that point, she had only seen men smoke. A lot of children will attribute certain behavior to men or women based on what they see in their own home, not necessarily because the world or media has conditioned them to think that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39934 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:08:08 +0000 mrsjazz 39934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: This is an awesome article! I'm sharing with every parent or sonn-to-be parent I know. Even though my baby's still in utero, I am adding some of these books to the list. I'm already having a problem with lots of people wanting to buy her pink, I don't mind it in small doses, but I don't want her whole wardrobe to be pink just because she's a girl. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39913 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:38:59 +0000 PawPrints 39913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: I think you're confusing "gender variant," which means that a person shows attributes that society associates with the opposite gender, with "transgender," which is when a person identifies most strongly with the opposite gender than that of their biological body. Allie is definitely gender variant, as she gets upset when she has to put her hair in a ponytail since that makes her look girly, and she prefers to use a gender-neutral bathroom because she gets teased for using the girls' room. She may not grow up to be transgender, but at the moment, she's definitely at risk for bullying based on her gender variance, as is already occurring at the beginning of the article, when kids are mean to her because she appears like a boy.</p> <p>A major point that I think is important to take from this is that we need to stop forcing gender roles onto our kids. They're intensely observant and are going to figure out on their own that gender roles exist, it's not our responsibility to create those (artificial) boundaries. It seems to me that it's a huge disservice to kids, and to ourselves as a society, to blanket pre-determined gender roles and cues all over a kid's existence, even to the point before the kid is even born. Because, why shouldn't a boy be able to wear pink and frills? There's another article that made the rounds a while back about a couple raising a young boy who suffered from bullying when he enjoyed wearing skirts and dresses. Some kids like that grow up to be transgender adults, some grow up to be homosexual adults, and some don't. But it's the job of adults to create a safe environment for learning and exploration of these different cues.</p> <p>I've read other articles exploring how it's a very modern phenomenon that parents feel the need to clearly gender-label their kids going all the way back to infancy. It wasn't that long ago that kids were expected to dress in a neutral way (that we would perceive as very girly today) until they were five or six years old. Now, parents buy headbands for their (bald) infant daughters so they'll look more girly and be clearly perceived as female.</p> <p>I think it is a very big deal, as this gender-emphasis goes a long way to reinforce the idea that everyone has to stay within their guidelines, and thus you get bullying from kids, and later much worse from adults, when transgender or homosexual people step outside those traditional boundaries. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39657 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 09:11:49 +0000 Mrsbells 39657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Growing up I played with trucks as well as dolls, I wore pink as well as blue and play with lego and wore baggy pants as well as dresses with boys. I dont really think its that much of a big deal </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39646 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:57:23 +0000 Maysprout 39646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like a good teacher.<br /> I had a couple issues though. It sounds like she did a great lesson on how boys and girls can like the same thing but then at the end of the article she calls allie, who is a girl and wants to be referred to as a girl, as gender variant. That seems to go back on what the whole article was about, there's nothing gender variant about her just because she likes to wear her hair in corn rows and doesn't want to wear tight clothes in elementary school.<br /> The other thing is I feel this is more a boy issue. I can put my daughter in pink and frills one day and blue and brown the next day and no one thinks twice when I say she's a little girl. However if a mommy of a boy put their little boy in pink and frills then people would think she's quite weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39607 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 02:55:48 +0000 Witz 39607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's really interesting! I hope someday my kids will have teachers like the one in that piece--and that the parents of their classmates also support valuable lessons like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39604 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 02:14:20 +0000 Boogs 39604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: Aww that's a bummer. Thankfully at my school lessons like that were encouraged. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39600 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:35:16 +0000 PawPrints 39600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: That's awesome! Sadly, my teacher friend told me that in most schools, this teacher would likely get complaints from other teachers and parents. I don't doubt it, either. I think she's right on, though, that this stuff needs to be taught early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39596 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:22:18 +0000 Boogs 39596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a great article, I forwarded it to a ton of my teacher friends earlier today. I can't wait to buy some of the books they discussed for my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-wrong-with-pink-and-blue#post-39595 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:04:41 +0000 PawPrints 39595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought this article was really interesting: "One Teacher's Approach to Preventing Gender Bullying In A Classroom."</p> <p><a href="http://togetherforjacksoncountykids.tumblr.com/post/14314184651/one-teachers-approach-to-preventing-gender-bullying-in" rel="nofollow">http://togetherforjacksoncountykids.tumblr.com/post/14314184651/one-teachers-approach-to-preventing-gender-bullying-in</a></p> <p>This is a topic I think about a good deal. It seems like the current trend of surrounding kids with either all-blue or all-pink stuff, starting months before they're even born, can do a lot of harm to their ability to accept things that cross traditional gender boundaries. Wouldn't it be nice if kids were just free to be whatever kind of kid they want to be, regardless of whether that means playing with dolls or with trucks? Anyway, I just thought everyone might find this article as interesting as I did! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-26170 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:31:48 +0000 Rescuemom10 26170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dealing with this right now with my 8 yr old SD. Last year there was a boy she was having an issue with. Just found out the same boy is back at it again this year. Just glad she did come to us and talk to us about it so we can work through it together and with her school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-26162 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:25:55 +0000 heffalump 26162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry. I wasn't bullied but my hubby and I were both band geeks. Chances are my lo will have our geek genes<br /> Hopefully we can teach her to own her uniqueness though, as my mom taught me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-26159 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:20:07 +0000 themcmom 26159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm worried about it, but I was never bullied; I hide in the shadows during school. My husband was bullied really badly, so Im' hoping for his help with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25951 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:44:22 +0000 Adira 25951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Miss Adia as well. I was teased a lot in school (never physically bullied though), and it only made me a stronger person. Having good parental support is definitely helpful, so make sure your LO knows they can come to you with issues. I think it also helped to know that my mom went through similar issues when she was in school and she's such a strong, confident person now. So hopefully my kids will be able to know the same - that teasing in school doesn't really matter and that it's the person doing the teasing/bullying that's the smaller person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25938 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:08:03 +0000 Mrs. D 25938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know that there WILL be bullies, just like there are in real life. DH and I just have to teach her how to protect herself from them without Becoming a bully herself, and encourage her to protect those who can't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25937 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:06:20 +0000 Mrsbells 25937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Miss Adia.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25933 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:04:27 +0000 mediagirl 25933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yessss. I am so worried that they will run into the same thing I did. I found out recently that my husband was the bully-beater. HA! When he would see someone picking on someone younger or smaller than them - or just picking in general - he would tell them to pick on someone their own size. If they didn't, they seriously set up a time to fight. OMG. I could not believe it! I have never seen my husband as a fighter so to hear this was crazy - but I have to say, it was pretty neat to hear the reason behind it. I hope our children will get a mix of both of us - his stand-up attitude and my fear of fighting. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25866 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:24:04 +0000 mrbee 25866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got beat up once when I was a kid. I went straight to the gym and over the next few years, I put on sixty pounds of muscle at the weight room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25861 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:20:41 +0000 cupcakemama 25861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work in schools too. The main thing with bullies is that they are usually insecure cowards. You have to stand up to them or they will hound you. I intend to teach LO to stick up for himself - not react to the bully, tell them to go away. If the bully keeps at it then tell the teachers and Mom and Dad. A bully can spot an easy target from a mile away so make sure that's not your kid! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25780 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 22:25:31 +0000 chopsuey 25780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither one of us were bullied when we were younger. My hubs and I are a little crazy and think our LO's gonna be super popular. HAHA. Will definitely address bullying when our kids enter school though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25628 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 19:01:05 +0000 ecogirl 25628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry too! With everything you see on the news these days about kids committing suicide from bullying and the like I am scared of it. I will teach them to stand up for themselves but would probably want to pull them out of the situation too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25610 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:47:51 +0000 banana 25610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tana_bk: I know what you mean. How do you handle it as a parent? I'd like to think that my child can handle it but I think a lot of kids kind of just shut down and avoid talking about it out of embarassment or fear of getting the bullies in trouble (and in turn making the bullying worse). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25606 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:42:09 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 25606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do worry about it some, especially when I see news articles about teen suicide as a result of bullying. I mostly worry about how to handle it as a parent. Do you confront the bully's parents? Talk to the school? Let you child handle it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25605 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:41:06 +0000 Rosie Girl 25605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry about my kids getting bullied/picked on. Especially since you hear so much about in now a days, and how mean kids can really be! </p> <p>I think it scares me the most because I don't even want my children to be sad or hurt. I want to protect them forever, and I know that I can't when they are at school or off on their own. </p> <p>Hopefully by talking to my kids and teaching them right and wrong, they won't take bullying. They will know how much they are loved and cared for at home and by so many other people, that bullies won't effect their self-esteem. I would hope they would talk to me too if somebody was being hurtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25603 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:40:08 +0000 Rubies 25603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry about bullying because I see it all the time (I'm a teacher) - parents have to teach their children what bullying it, what a bully does, and what to do if they are being bullied. In Ontario, there is talk of making anti-bullying laws amidst a slew of bullying incidents in schools. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25593 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:12:31 +0000 banana 25593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ miss adia: I love your attitude towards bullying. I hope my son is as strong as you daughter and is able to "brush" it off easily. </p> <p>I've seen so many kids get bullied when I was growing up (especially the overweight kids) and they would cry, sit in the corner by themselves, play alone, eat lunch by themselves...that it makes me so sad to think that that could be my son one day. I guess I'm just overly sensitive. All your comments are making me feel better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-that-your-child-will-deal-with-bullies-in-school#post-25590 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:06:37 +0000 Miss Adia 25590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not worried about it because I'm raising my daughter to deal with the fact that not everyone will like her and that there are mean spirited people out there. I'm raising her to know that bullies feed off of reactions and if she brushes it off, then they aren't getting fed. </p>