https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 14:57:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1367274 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 14:02:19 +0000 Arden 1367274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree. People volunteering simply for the sake of checking the box will probably result in both them and the charity getting nothing out of the experience. I think people need to find something they can be passionate about. </p> <p>I guess my problem is with the attitude of indifference that I see sometimes, the sort of "it's not my responsibility to do anything" outlook. If someone wants to make the world a better place and is still searching for their own way to do that, that's great! At least they are working towards finding their niche, their part of the solution. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1367258 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 14:00:21 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1367258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: TBH I have no idea. Just recently I had a convo with an American who lived in the UK for a couple of years. Her experience was so different from my friends' who has been there for 8 years. One woman was talking about lots of government assistance including paying fam members to care for their disabled kin already on assisstance and the other works at consulting group non-profit and regularly interacts with the Queen's daughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1367230 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 13:55:24 +0000 sunny 1367230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I enjoyed volunteering as a teen. I wasn't able to commit to the hours of a part time job, but volunteering 1-2 hrs on a weekly basis was doable. I continued even through the first year of my first real job. I did it until I didn't love doing it anymore. At this point in my life I just don't have the extra hours so we give through money rather than time. However I would like to demonstrate to my kids that giving is more than writing a check once a year. </p> <p>Above all I just want my kids to be compassionate, caring individuals. I hope that giving is part of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1367199 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 13:49:34 +0000 looch 1367199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've calmed down a lot and I think I am ready to participate civilly in this thread.</p> <p>I hate that volunteering has become something where people feel they need to put a tick in the box. If it makes you feel good and it is a good use of your time, that's a win. If you just go because you feel you have to and you're in a sour mood, it's not helping anyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1366719 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 12:13:47 +0000 Freckles 1366719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Do you think maybe it's because Sweden has great social programs (funded through taxes) that people don't feel the need to do more? I would think the situation over there vs. US is pretty different. </p> <p>@ElbieKay: I agree with you. :heart: I'm sure all of those things could be considered contributions to society.</p> <p>This is not to say that all people feel this way, but people have to admit that volunteering makes you feel good and it's a way to pat yourself on the back for helping out those in need. Instilling altruism in my LO would be more important to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1366555 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 11:35:08 +0000 MrsH 1366555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cranberryapple: We will instill volunteering becuase I do think it is important for kids in middle school and high school to volunteer. It teaches a lot of values and promotes social growth of the child. I do agree with your DH though - right now the taxes I pay far outweigh any benefit society would obtain from me volunteering my time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1366401 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 10:47:03 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1366401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that "volunteering" can be in many forms. I don't think I will be taking my daughter out to a Habitat for Humanity build or anything like that but I will teach her how to be a good citizen. </p> <p>Little things like the girl scout, "Leave it better then how you found it" by picking up an extra piece of trash out of the park. Or volunteering to make cookies for a sick friend. Or as others have suggested donating gifts or goods. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1366329 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 10:21:10 +0000 Boheme 1366329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Excellent point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1365997 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 08:23:04 +0000 Mamaof2 1365997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In this day and age volunteer work is very important to colleges and scholarships!</p> <p>My DSS is applying right now and has been rejected for several scholarships due to zero volunteer experience. He was also told by the Army ROTC interviewer that his lack of volunteer work really pushed his application to the bottom of the pile.</p> <p>Just something to think about - as I am sure 18 yrs from now it will still be just as important! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1365908 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 05:29:25 +0000 ElbieKay 1365908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that it's important to be grateful for what you have, but I think there are various ways to act on that. I agree with @Looch's sentiment about some volunteer opportunities being a waste of time. A lot of charities have a high overhead cost too. And there are ways to be thoughtful about your lifestyle that can make an impact.</p> <p>During college I volunteered to tutor at a disadvantaged elementary school but I saw different kids every week and did not feel like I had much impact on any one kid. During my late 20s I was on the board of a small opera company and honestly it was really a way for the director to earn a(n admittedly meager) salary though it did provide some young singers with the opportunity to perform and bolster their resumes. I'm not sure if those versions of volunteering had any more or less impact on society than when I write checks to support friends' fundraising causes or when I simply spent a lot of time when I was unemployed hanging out with my best friend to help her with her new baby. And I did not own a car from ages 22-34 which was a lifestyle choice that had a relatively positive impact on the environment.</p> <p>I don't think you have to spend Thanksgiving at a soup kitchen or make your kid donate his birthday presents in order to be a thoughtful and contributing member of society. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1365764 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 22:54:13 +0000 wonderstruck 1365764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's important for my kids to realize that not everyone is as lucky as them, and to help each other out - goes pretty much hand-in-hand with the kindness and empathy that I want to instill in him. I don't plan on going too nuts with it when he's little, but things like picking out some toys he doesn't play with anymore and explaining how they can help other kids is something I definitely plan on doing.</p> <p>My parents have sponsored a child (now a young man) in Kenya since I was 7 or 8, and growing up it was quite a revelation for me to see how different his life was - although hypothetically I knew about 3rd world countries, it was much more real to me when we were receiving letters from him hoping to get rain so they would have food to eat, raving about the new cooking supplies the money we sent paid for, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1365763 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 22:53:37 +0000 blackbird 1365763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe you guys just need to find something you feel strongly about? It's not always volunteering for the poor and underprivileged or planting trees, but like Danielle said, children's cancer organizations, animal societies, mental health groups, veterans orgs, art related stuff for students, etc. The list goes on and on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1365754 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 22:46:36 +0000 Arden 1365754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cranberryapple: I'm glad to see your reply! You seem open minded and hopefully this thread provided some good concepts to share with your husband. There are so many different ways to serve the community around us, I'm sure you'll be able to find one that fits your personalities and outlook. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1365745 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 22:41:55 +0000 daniellemybelle 1365745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of the bloggers here posted about an awesome tradition of donating birthday gifts to the children's hospital. This is something we plan to do as well every year. Honestly, I don't see how something like that could possibly conflict with the idea of being a productive member of society, no matter how you look at it. Like someone else said, teaching our daughter about empathy is very important to us. @cranberryapple: Perhaps something like what I described would be a good compromise for you? I can't imagine your husband arguing that children with cancer should pull themselves up from their bootstraps! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering/page/2#post-1365652 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 21:51:13 +0000 matador84 1365652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to teach history and a part of it was on civic virtue and what makes a person a good citizen. Part of the state standard I had to teach included things like serving on a jury, paying taxes, obeying laws, and volunteering are all parts of rights/responsibilities of citizenship and civic virtue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365645 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 21:45:44 +0000 fairy 1365645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm my husband and I both value giving and volunteer work, so we want to show our daughter that aspect of our lives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365283 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 18:31:31 +0000 LovelyPlum 1365283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think volunteering is important, but maybe not in the traditional sense, like go to an agency and do some work that is set aside for volunteers. This is important, too, but if I'm honest, I very rarely do it. But I do believe in being generous of my time, talents, and treasures, whichever happen to be applicable and available to a particular situation. Like @Silva: we like to donate to public radio, which is one way of giving back. I also try to make a yearly donation to my alma mater when funds allow, and I designate it to a specific fund that helped me when I was in school. As kids, we also loved to participate in projects like the Angel Tree at our church over Christmas, where you buy for someone else. That's something that I want to continue with our kids.</p> <p>What I remember growing up, though, wasn't trips to food banks or how much money my parents may or may not have given. Rather, it was the support they lent to hurting members of our school and church communities. When someone's loved one passed away, they always brought dinner, checked up on them, went to visitations. They made a point to see people in nursing homes and would sometimes bring us along. If tragedy struck a family, they would offer to clean and do shopping. It made a very powerful impression on me, and I hope to instill that kind of selflessness that my parents showed in our kids, as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365264 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 18:21:47 +0000 looch 1365264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yes, especially in countries where taxes are really high. There's a lot that is already taken care of, if you will. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365121 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:33:41 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1365121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This kind of reminds me of a convo I had with my cruise table. One couple was Europe, I think Sweden, and a pair of girlfriends were American. The couple didn't understand why the rest of us KAmericans) felt the need to give back through Church, civic organizations, non-profits, and any other ways to lend time or money to helping strangers. As much as we all love a good rags to riches or bootstraps story, helping others is ingrained in our culture. Seems like the best way to spend Federal holidays is committing an act of service. Students get rewarded for volunteer hours through academic societies and scholarships. Even if you don't promote it at home your LO will be exposed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365111 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:29:21 +0000 Torchwood 1365111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cranberryapple: We should! I'm willing to bet there are plenty of us on here, because we're more likely to like social interaction on the internet where it's easier. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365105 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:26:16 +0000 cranberryapple 1365105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: Lucky! DH is also quiet by nature, so I can see that DS is getting some of this from both of our genetics combined! =P We should start some sort of support group here! Hahaha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365101 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:23:52 +0000 illumina 1365101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I certainly wouldn't discourage it. Especially given that volunteering can be a great way to gain skills needed for a better paid job in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365099 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:23:01 +0000 stargal 1365099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Being a productive member of socirt in NY opinion is one where you give back. Ppl have hardships in life (look at generational poverty for example) and some ppl are disadvantaged greatly from birth (and of no fault of their own) and in my opinion it is our responsibility as humans with the means to help them to do so. My son will absolutely be helping people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365095 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:20:41 +0000 Torchwood 1365095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cranberryapple: Yes, I'm super glad DH is pretty much the opposite of socially awkward, because at least our kids will have one parent who can model that. And I guess it gives me the opportunity to model overcoming that, which if we have kids like me could be a big deal. It's so hard sometimes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365088 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:16:22 +0000 cranberryapple 1365088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, everyone, for your thoughtful responses! I wasn't sure where I stood on this issue because in recent years post-college, I admit I had become a bit complacent, but I very much believe in volunteering time and resources where possible. I hope when I read DH these responses that it will enlighten him a bit! I admit his view kinda surprised me when I first heard it too. </p> <p>@Arden: I can certainly see where you can see that implication, and I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I personally admire those who help others for a living, such as you and your husband! </p> <p>@Torchwood: Argh, I'm super socially awkward too! I wish I wasn't! I'm afraid I won't be the best role model for DS because of it. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365042 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 17:02:40 +0000 Arden 1365042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: No problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365001 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 16:50:26 +0000 Maysprout 1365001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to teach my children to be part of the community. I don't think everything someone does should be paid, people help out one another in a community, which makes a community stronger than when it's every man for themselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1365000 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 16:50:24 +0000 looch 1365000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I am probably being overly sensitive about my situation, sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1364997 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 16:49:42 +0000 DillonLion 1364997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I both feel passionately about giving our time and energy to charitable groups. We actually would much rather give our time over writing a check. LO will be encouraged to do the same.</p> <p>But being a hard working person who makes money and pays taxes is also a priority over here. We hope she winds up doing both, not one or the other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-planning-on-teaching-los-about-charityvolunteering#post-1364992 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 16:49:08 +0000 regberadaisy 1364992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: agree. </p> <p>I don't get why It has to be one or the other? </p>