https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 17:28:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyones-dhpartner-not-attend-the-birth#post-2662777 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:58:52 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2662777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Especially if you go into labor over night, I had a friend that the nurse was more than happy to sit in with her and keep her company while her husband was home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyones-dhpartner-not-attend-the-birth#post-2662776 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:56:04 +0000 lamariniere 2662776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have any family nearby and we had only been in the city a year when our DD was born (so no super close friends). But I managed to cobble together a list of 4-5 people to call to watch our older LO. Luckily, the timing worked out well and my DH didn't miss anything. Could you ask one of your child's teachers if she could be on the "call list" in case you have to go in at night/on the weekend? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyones-dhpartner-not-attend-the-birth#post-2662768 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:48:13 +0000 psw27 2662768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of your concerns are ones that I share as well. All of our family is a flight away and while I do have a few friends/ babysitters in mind for "just in case" our family can't be here or isn't here already. I'm constantly worried about it. In my mind, I am happy to be there alone until I know for sure that DS is in good hands. Also complicating things is that my first DS came at 34 weeks so its really a massive unknown when this one will arrive! So no advice really, but I get where you are coming from! I figure I will just roll with it and take it as it comes. Not much I can do to control when this LO wants to arrive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyones-dhpartner-not-attend-the-birth#post-2662763 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:43:19 +0000 Truth Bombs 2662763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ksnow: My husband also missed the lead up. My water broke in the middle of the night and I drove myself to the hospital and had my husband stay with our daughter. I was concerned that 1. I peed myself and didn't actually have my water break and they would send me home and 2. That my daughter would freak out if she woke up and we were both gone and someone else was in the house. He dropped her at school as soon as they opened at 6:30 and came the hospital. The nurses definitely thought it was strange when they brought up Pitocin because my water was broken but I wasn't contracting very hard and I said "sure, but can we wait until my husband gets here" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyones-dhpartner-not-attend-the-birth#post-2662759 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:39:56 +0000 ksnow 2662759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our family lived very far away with birth of #2 and I lined up several people to watch our daughter. Of course I went into labor before family arrived and when most of them were unavailable (right away anyway). Well my last back up was actually still available, but it would have been more stressful for my daughter (they have multiple dogs, and she's just not comfortable with them). Anyway, I had my husband stay with my daughter until one of our sitters was available. I think the nurses/DR thought I was a little nutty they kept being like "WHERE IS HE?". It was fine for me, and I felt better knowing our daughter was comfortable. I didn't want to stress her out before this big thing happened. I'm not sure this really applies to your question, since he did make it for the birth (just missed all the lead up) but I would have been fine (not ideal of course) if he had had to wait a bit longer and meet me in the recovery room an hour later (since our daughter was allowed there). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyones-dhpartner-not-attend-the-birth#post-2662755 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:24:54 +0000 erinbaderin 2662755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it would really suck for both of you if you had to do it by yourself but in terms of bonding as a couple, think of it this way - your husband is such a good dad that he's willing to miss something very important to him that he really wants to do because it's better for your child. In the grand scheme of things it's only a few hours, you'll have an entire lifetime to be together with this baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyones-dhpartner-not-attend-the-birth#post-2662739 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:01:04 +0000 Aimed121 2662739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wondering if anyone has any experience of this and if so how did it go? I am due with #2 in a few weeks and our closest family is a 4 hour plane ride away and tbh, they are older and not that flexible so we can't count on them to fly in to help look after LO1 while I am giving birth.<br /> In preparing for this I have lined up a few friends that LO1 can stay with while I give birth. But of course there have been a few snags - a dear friend who offered to help has had to leave town to look after a sick parent and I kinda felt bad depending on her anyway as she has little kids too. I also have our babysitter lined up and one other friend. But I am worried that if they both fall through, DH will have to stay with LO while I give birth. To complicate matters, I will be having a CS so we have scheduled it for when LO is in school - but I am afraid of going into labor before that date and DH not being able to be there. I have mentally prepared myself to get through it alone - it's only an hour or so and I can do this etc. - but the thought makes me (and him) sad that DH could miss out on the birth of his child and this probably sounds dumb, but I worry about it from a bonding perspective - not so much between us and the baby but between us as a couple that I would go through something that is so big for us as a couple alone - if that makes sense. If anyone has any experience or advice I would appreciate it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2649190 Mon, 07 Nov 2016 13:22:20 +0000 hellobeeboston 2649190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: it's not the best time, but it's not too terrible either - don't worry!</p> <p>I didn't see anywhere in your list having <b>Colace</b>, but I would definitely recommend to take daily.... That was one of the only things the hospital didn't send me home with - so it was good to have on hand. </p> <p>I also preferred the Always Overnight extra thin pads over the hospital ones, much thinner and very absorbent.</p> <p>My hospital gave me - dermaplast spray, spray bottle, ice packs, extra pads, extra disposable underwear, tucks, and a few other things. I purchased a sitz bath with my first, and used it again after my second - it really helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2649137 Mon, 07 Nov 2016 12:04:59 +0000 snowjewelz 2649137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>-Pads vs Depends<br /> I was fine with thick pads I took home from the hospital </p> <p>-Tucks pads<br /> I ordered some (and got some from hospital), didn't really use them </p> <p>-Ice packs for your lady bits<br /> Didn't use</p> <p>-Earth Mama bottom spray/other similar products<br /> I got this foaming thing from the hospital that I sprayed onto the pad before putting it in</p> <p>Listen... I had pretty bad tear AND they had to cut me to get DD out... But I honsetly recovered a lot better than expected! I ordered all these gear, and took home so many things from hospital (including a sitz bath) and I barely used anything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2649088 Mon, 07 Nov 2016 10:55:29 +0000 Goldengirl 2649088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mdf106: Thanks, that is helpful! After reading through all these responses I've decided just to hold off on getting stuff and see how I do rather than have a bunch of extra things hanging around I might never use. Hopefully it won't be too awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2649051 Mon, 07 Nov 2016 10:08:19 +0000 mdf106 2649051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an episiotomy with my first, and a tear with my second, but both recoveries were really easy. My only absolute must haves were regular maxi pads and a peri bottle. I got the peri bottle from the hospital. While I was in the hospital I used mesh undies and bigger pads, which were necessary, but not after I got home. With my first, I did use ice packs, dermoplast, and tucks pads (on top of regular pads), as well as ibuprofin. I think these things were not necessary, but the nurses scared me that the pain would come, but it never did (except my nipples). I did have to run out for more nipple care items in the first few days at home. With my second delivery, my only significant pain was from afterpains (cramping), which felt like regular but painful period cramps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648915 Sun, 06 Nov 2016 21:44:47 +0000 Anagram 2648915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: nah. I feel like with *most* people, your tears are better (or less bad? if that's a thing) with every subsequent delivery. I guess things get more....stretchy down there? :shocked: Mine were 2nd degree tears both times, but the second time, it was even less of a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648892 Sun, 06 Nov 2016 20:15:56 +0000 catlady 2648892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know if this is normal but I got most of my supplies from the hospital. The only things I bought were pads and stool softener. The hospital gave me a peri bottle, some pads that I think were like tucks, and some sort of cooling spray. There was still lots left over when I was discharged so I just took them home with me and never needed to buy anything else. I had a 1st degree tear and a few stitches.</p> <p>This thread is making me wonder if I should stock up this time around though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648829 Sun, 06 Nov 2016 16:11:10 +0000 looch 2648829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only thing that I wold add is to see if you can get some disposable pads, I think they're called chux pads, so you can put one in your bed and on the couch when you sit. </p> <p>I used a reusable one, it was technically for a crib, but it was a lifesaver. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648767 Sun, 06 Nov 2016 13:33:20 +0000 gilmoregirl 2648767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I had a 3rd degree tear and lots of stitches and my recovery was pretty easy. I guess I was just lucky but I didn't feel like I needed a ton of stuff. </p> <p>I used maxi pads, stool softener and lots of ibuprofen. I didn't leave the hospital with tons of supplies but I had enough to get me to day 2 at home. Hospital gave me a peri bottle which was great but I only ever used water in it.</p> <p>Nursing pads were a must though because of all the leaking. I wish I'd had some nipple cream but used coconut oil in a pinch until Amazon brought me new stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648679 Sun, 06 Nov 2016 08:27:25 +0000 Goldengirl 2648679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: that's a great idea about the photos and so something I would do!</p> <p>@Silva: thanks for saying it wasn't awful... all I'm hearing is the bad stories and it's freaked me out a little :)</p> <p>@sunnyday: the kotex ones are the ones I got too so hoping those will be enough! I only have one bathroom so shouldn't have any issues with needing double anything... one perk of a small place I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648665 Sun, 06 Nov 2016 08:00:19 +0000 sunnyday 2648665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe I've been lucky, I'm in Canada and the hospital (both times!) was great in letting me stock up before I went home.</p> <p>To your list, and I think anyone's list...what is essential to one, may not be used for the next person! It's so hard to know.<br /> -Pads vs Depends -I used, and then took home lots of the giant hospital ones, then to kotex overnight (purple bag?) massive ones worked fine.<br /> -Tucks pads... did you use them? Not sure what these are!<br /> -Ice packs for your lady bits... Did not make/attempt or miss them.<br /> -Earth Mama bottom spray/other similar products -did not use/know it existed!</p> <p>Peri bottle as previously mentioned was a biggie. I got one from the hospital the first time, second time asked for a second. Especially good if you have bathrooms on different floors, having to remember it when you are hurting is not fun! </p> <p>I was sent home with enough pain meds and stool softeners for the first two weeks, and found that was sufficient for pain and those first poops!</p> <p>I have had two vaginal births with one stitch for the first one. Due with #3 in two months! The only thing I did buy for #2 was more cheapie undies/granny panties, just put my norm ones away and used the crappy ones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648616 Sun, 06 Nov 2016 01:35:04 +0000 Silva 2648616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To add to the list of things to consider (although I've been over prepared twice now- definitely depends on how your delivery goes!)- this time the hospital gave me these disposable heat packs to wear to help manage after birth cramping and they were awesome. It made the swearing worse but my cramping was awful and it helped soothe the pain. </p> <p>Stool softener, ibuprofen, peri bottle, pads (I used overnight pads the first few days and at night but once the bleeding lightened up I liked wearing these organic pads that are much thicker than regular pads- it added cushioning!)<br /> I also liked having tucks pads but actually used them for wiping (especially after pooping)</p> <p>My best advice is take it easy and don't rush it. It's best to just sit and rest as much as you can. If you are going stir crazy go for a walk to the mailbox. With my first I was able to rest a lot and only bled for three weeks. Not possible this time and it took five weeks. But don't be too freaked out- I had only a teeny tear with like one stitch last time and no tears this time. Definitely swollen and sore, but it wasn't awful.<br /> Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648606 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 22:45:36 +0000 Anagram 2648606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Maybe just start with the absolute essentials and then get more if you need it? I bought so much, based on lists I'd read here and felt so dumb when I didn't use it. I still have these frozen pads 3 years later--sometimes I let my kiddos use one as an ice pack, haha. But they were pricy compared to a few ice cubes in a ziplock! I bought the Earth Mama bottom spray and didn't like the herbal smell. I used it a few times and could smell it on me long after I left the bathroom. Not cool. And it didn't cool as much as the Dermoplast anyway. Only used it a few times and then put it away in favor of the Dermoplast. Didn't use the sitz bath I bought...never even unwrapped it. I didn't get hemorrhoids with either pregnancy, so I bought the Tucks and then had no real need--and they sort of stung my stitches, so I didn't want them near my hoo-ha anyway.</p> <p>Both times, I was out and about on short trips to the grocery store/Target within 24 hours after getting out of the hospital. So you can pick things up yourself, if need be. You don't wanna be walking all day if you end up with stitches, but small outings are totally fine/painless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts/page/2#post-2648600 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 21:54:13 +0000 catgirl 2648600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: so I love being prepared and I was worried if I didn't feel up to going out to pick up supplies after birth DH wouldn't know what to get. So I went out and took pictures of things I thought were likely to be needed - that way DH had a visual. Easy enough to just pop down a couple of extra aisles on a regular trip to the store. It worked out well because the hospital sent me home with a lot of stuff and I decided I didn't need some of the rings I thought I might. DH appreciated being able to get the right thing without having to guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648597 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 21:42:34 +0000 Goldengirl 2648597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: @Anagram: hmm yah maybe it's better to wait. I love being prepared because it makes me less anxious, but also hate wasting money. Not like there aren't drugstores nearby to grab stuff in an emergency situation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648596 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 21:41:05 +0000 Goldengirl 2648596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrswin: yah it seems we Canadians don't get as much stuff especially in the big cities. I will try to steal as much as I can! Good tip about the dollar store, I'm right near one so can easily get stuff from there if needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648595 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 21:40:35 +0000 mrsrain 2648595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only must-haves I had for both were dermoplast numbing spray (blue can), and giant pads. I found that buying the overnight pads designed for bladder issues were by far superior to period pads. Peri bottle, witch hazel pads, etc were all provided by the hospital so I ended up with too much. If I were to do it again I would set up an Amazon order and only order what I needed after getting home.</p> <p>Eta: two vaginal non-medicated deliveries, one labia tear the first time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648565 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 19:48:24 +0000 Anagram 2648565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: with both babies, both times second degree tears, all I needed were pads with wings, the 1 peri bottle the doctor gave me, and 2 cans of Dermoplast.</p> <p>I bought so much more and didn't use any of it. So much wasted money.</p> <p>Now...bfing stuff was a different story. I had so many problems I bought every product invented and used it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648556 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 19:16:08 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2648556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto to what @ Erinbaderin said. I bought witch hazel and had some pads, but I ended up with a csection. I had planned on making padsiclea but then didn't and was glad I didn't. I'm in Canada and I just took home extra mesh underwear and a peri bottle. The underwear was my favourite and I accidentally found out you can wash and dry them and reuse. Next time I will take tons home. I used the peri bottle just to easily keep clean. </p> <p>So must haves for me were: thicknpada, the mesh underwear, Tylenol and Advil. I never took any stool softeners and was fine but I guess that isn't a normal experience. I did make sure to eat some prunes and my sister made me a beet salad when I was in hospital, but I was fine the day after surgery for digestion and bms luckily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648547 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 19:02:31 +0000 pachamama 2648547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, one thing, extra sheets. The night sweats I got were INTENSE, as I flushed out my hormones, I'd wake up soaking wet for weeks!!! I kept a change of clothes by my bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648545 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 19:00:56 +0000 pachamama 2648545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a very easy delivery and recovery as my son was 5lb12oz,. I didn't need much, just pads. That warm water bottle thing the hospital told me to use just hurt, I never used it! I did also have a good husband who fetched me everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648537 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 18:46:43 +0000 erinbaderin 2648537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: If you're in Canada the hospital sends you home with nothing. That being said, I invested in all this stuff and then had a C section and didn't need any of it. Don't spend too much money in advance, you can always have your partner run out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648514 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 17:18:21 +0000 mrswin 2648514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I am in Canada and the hospital will give you almost nothing! I got one pair of mesh underwear, a peri bottle (life saving!) and a sitz bath from the hospital. </p> <p>Essential for me (vag delivery, 2nd degree tear) was<br /> - large pads (overnight with wings)<br /> - stool softener<br /> - peri bottle<br /> - Advil<br /> - puppy pee pads (aka chuks pads), I bought these from the dollar store! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/postpartum-care-what-are-your-musts#post-2648510 Sat, 05 Nov 2016 16:38:02 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2648510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only thing I'll add is a sitz bath and stool softener!!!! </p> <p>I bought depends but never used them because they were way too "rough" feeling and hurt me a lot. I used the big hospital pads and then switched to regular maxi pads. </p> <p>I made those frozen pads with witch hazel and only ended up using like three or four (I had a bad second degree tear, almost third but not quite). I did end up with a few of those in my bra during engorgement though. </p> <p>Tucks pads were essential. I had hemorrhoids from pushing and so I used the pads on my hospital pads and also to wipe after those scary pp bowel movements. </p>