https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 19:54:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2909230 Tue, 28 Jan 2020 23:45:35 +0000 karenbme 2909230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: I really don’t know what options are available, but I have a one on one with my boss on Thursday where I plan to be open with her about how I’m feeling and see what options I might have. She’s a mom and I feel like she’ll be supportive. Working is definitely easier than staying home, probably because I have a decade of experience at work and no experience taking care of babies, and I lose my mind a little bit without adult interaction (what did people do before podcasts??) but I just worry so much about her and how she’s doing. I really don’t know what the right thing is for me... other than maybe settling up a pack and play in the corner of my office. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2909190 Tue, 28 Jan 2020 12:07:58 +0000 nwm 2909190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm sorry, it is really hard being away! :crying: For me as hard as it was, I knew how hard I had found being home, so it was a reasonably fast adjustment. But, when I went back after my first, I had also taken a full 16 weeks, and also had a few big cases at work that I was excited about. I thought returning to work ultimately made me happier, but I'm also wondering if it didn't coincide with some modest PPD lifting. Would it be an option to take some more leave from your job (maybe even unpaid) to see how that feels/give the decision more time? Or to work a part time schedule on a temporary basis?</p> <p>But also, PLEASE don't feel guilty. Even if you don't strictly need your income, there are many, many good reasons for you to work (IF you want to). There is nothing to feel guilty about, whatever choice you make. She is doing amazing!</p> <p>It's ironic that DS2 is my best sleeper yet (and honestly I've had pretty good sleepers) but I'm kind of sad about it because it's like one less time I get to cuddle him. I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune when the regression hits! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2909184 Tue, 28 Jan 2020 11:18:47 +0000 bhbee 2909184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2909182 Tue, 28 Jan 2020 11:17:06 +0000 karenbme 2909182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: Awww, super cute. :happy: I really look forward to when she can tell me about how much fun she's having/everything she's learning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2909179 Tue, 28 Jan 2020 11:06:16 +0000 karenbme 2909179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: It's better than it was, but she's just so sleepy by the time she gets home. I feel like we don't get any time with her. :sad: I'm still toying with the idea of quitting my full-time to focus on DD and maybe picking up one or two more consulting clients to keep my brain active. We don't need my income to make ends meet, which makes the choice harder/adds to my guilt. I don't have any problems with the daycare, except maybe that they go through a lot of milk in a day, but she's not overweight so that's not really a concern. I just hate being away from her. Meanwhile, I was at the OB for a pap yesterday and the doctor told me that, statistically moms who work part time are happiest, so if I have the opportunity to do that it could help me (my PPD score is a little higher than what they want it to be). Like, yeah, thanks, I could have told you working less/spending more time with the baby would make me happier too, but part-time work doesn't really fit with having a career in general. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2909178 Tue, 28 Jan 2020 11:01:14 +0000 MaryM 2909178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son isn't quite two, and has been in daycare since about 12 weeks. </p> <p>Now whenever we get in the car and leave our neighborhood he says "Miss Donna??" ...asking if we're going to see his daycare friends. </p> <p>He goes through phases loving it and hating me leaving, but days like today when he has to hug EVERY person he sees (the cook, the director, the other kids, his teacher...) that makes it a lot easier! </p> <p>He's also counting in Spanish (something we haven't done at home) so I know he's learning a lot from them too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2909176 Tue, 28 Jan 2020 09:47:11 +0000 nwm 2909176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hey, just checking in. how is it going? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908683 Mon, 20 Jan 2020 16:47:27 +0000 karenbme 2908683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you, ladies. I'm going to stick with it for a while, but like many have said it is SO hard right now. I appreciate all the insight, and hopefully once she's bigger it will feel like there's more benefit for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908674 Mon, 20 Jan 2020 11:54:03 +0000 Madison43 2908674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: it does get better! My kids are 4 and 6 and we’ve always had a nanny. For us, that was the only option given the logistics of our jobs and commutes. I’m esp grateful for it now because, as someone above mentioned, managing preschool and kindergarten and after school activities would have been impossible. That said, I don’t think it matter whether you’re leaving your infant with a nanny or at a daycare - it’s still going to suck for a while. You’ll get through it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908671 Mon, 20 Jan 2020 09:43:59 +0000 graceandjoy 2908671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It totally gets better! You are absolutely entitled to feeling all the feelings! It's so hard the first time around. A couple of things - </p> <p>1) Daycare vs nanny is just what you are comfortable with. We found a center we really loved (will be sending my unborn 3rd LO there this summer!), and to me I trust them way more than I'd trust a nanny. But of course with either, trust/rapport take time to build. But personally I just love that there are policies/structures at a center that protect my children.</p> <p>2) Our daycare doesn't even do the app/pictures thing, it was definitely hard the 1st time around not seeing/hearing anything about DD1's day. I def called a few times just to check in. But I got used to it. Also, I would not visit probably even if it was possible; I would not want to risk them attaching/clinging to me! I actually avoided even going to any daycare parties/functions while they were young b/c of that! I really only started going to daycare events when they started pre-school and knowing they were okay seeing me for a little bit then I had to leave.</p> <p>All in all, it's hard but it does get easier :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908669 Mon, 20 Jan 2020 08:53:57 +0000 hellobeeboston 2908669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: Aww - it's SO SO hard in the beginning, but YES, it absolutely gets easier... I've done both, daycare and nanny. We have a nanny now (kids are 4 &amp; 7)... it gets expensive because we pay for her, plus preschool 5 days a week, and activities... Having one when they're older is great so that you can have them help take to all of the activities.... A lot of after school sports and things start at 5, which is tough if you WOH (I do, plus a 1 hour commute).... daycare was GREAT when they were little so they could socialize and learn about being in a group dynamic. Yes, they get sick, BUT, I must say my sister stayed home with her kids and they did playgroups, and her kids were sick just as much, if not more than mine in a full-time daycare setting..... Anyway. Hugs. It's so hard in the beginning, but then it works out really well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908661 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:33:59 +0000 ALV91711 2908661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It will get easier. I think it is hardest on us mamas. </p> <p>A PP mentioned getting to know your providers and I totally agree with this. I try to chat with DS2’s main teacher at drop off and more than just about DS. In the few months he’s been there we’ve learned a bit about her family and her about ours. DS1 is 6.5 and has been at this daycare since he was one and there are some teachers still there and they feel like extended family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908656 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 20:25:11 +0000 SweetCaroline 2908656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh mama. I was so you 5 years ago and will be there again in the fall. So hard when they are tiny. What I will say is that my 5 year old has a much more broad and loving world than I ever could have given her by myself. She has been exposed to different personalities and cultures and experiences I never would have thought of. Eventually, I hope you'll find that you are tickled by the experiences your DD gets at daycare. </p> <p>Some of my favorite pictures of DD are her exploring grass and later, snow at daycare with the other babies. Or the daily stroller walks the teachers took her on. One day she asked for a "tissue" at home...I say "Kleenex", so I was so tickled that someone at daycare was making her more refined :silly: She has tried foods and been on field trips that I would not have thought to try. She has found friends in adults and children and frequently knows more people than I do at the grocery store, library and the YMCA.</p> <p>Also, the routine and structure that DD had at daycare was KEY to her happiness. And, we amassed a village. Nothing I can say will magically help, but please know that it does get better as they get older. </p> <p>Also, I concur with the 4 day work week comment above :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908652 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 19:59:06 +0000 cake2017 2908652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Yes to 4 day work weeks! That’s what I do and it works well for us! When Monday comes around we are all ready for the 4 day routine if ya know what I mean! Just my opinion and I realize not everyone can do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908649 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 19:33:46 +0000 LCTBQE 2908649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yeah, exactly what @Litebrite: said--it really does suck when they're tiny, but by this spring it'll get a lot (a LOT) better. It helps, too, to develop *your* relationship with the care providers and then you feel less like she's with strangers all day. After my kids were about 8-9 months they were both doing really well and getting very social, and after about a year both got to the point where morning drop-offs were them lunging for their baby friends, squealing with delight, and not even looking back at me. So it def gets easier for the babies. As for you and the pangs of longing, IMO it goes from very bad to a dull throbbing bad and that's why we should only have a 4-day work week. Also agree with both cake and litebrite that at some point pretty soon mom drop-ins will be more disruptive than beneficial; she will develop bonds with her providers and it'll be enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908647 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 19:10:12 +0000 wrkbrk 2908647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I do think it gets better. My son started at 8 months and by then I could really appreciate all he was getting from spending time in a place with other kids his age, playing and learning. It’s hard with tiny babies who don’t obviously/transparently benefit as much but hang in there mama!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908645 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 18:40:00 +0000 cake2017 2908645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: It gets better! My LO1 is at a high quality school since he was 18months old. As the posters mention once you all are in a routine it gets so much better. At that age they are sleeping quite a bit anyway. If she was closer the nursing in between would be nice if they allow that(they should?!) but once they are older I wouldn’t drop in periodically and leave cause it will confuse them and add more tears on their end. All that my Lo1 gets from childcare is so beneficial, enriching and healthy- I couldn’t give all of what he gets! So what I have done is take a day with them if i’m in a missing mood but other than that he loves school and does well when he’s not with us instead of crying or having separation anxiety. Give time overall through each stage! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908644 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 18:30:51 +0000 Litebrite 2908644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: about mid-day visits. I think that might make things a little easier for first few months, especially if you are nursing and it let's you skip a pumping session. But after they're about a year a mid-day visit from a parent is more disruptive to their day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908643 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 18:27:44 +0000 Litebrite 2908643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: ugh it's hard when they are little babies. For me it got easier when they got a little older and really started to benefit from daycare. At 6 months they start to get them on a schedule, and then from about 1 year on they get so much enriching activities and socializing it was definitely better then I could have given them at home.</p> <p>I've had at least 1 kid in day care for over 6 years and at this point I dont blink an eye about it. But there was a lot of crying in the bathroom for me when I went back to work after my first. It's a hard time, but remind yourself that your baby is in good hands. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908642 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 17:53:03 +0000 gotkimchi 2908642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This gets better. It was hard at first but now I appreciate our routine so much </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-daycare-get-easier#post-2908641 Sun, 19 Jan 2020 17:44:24 +0000 karenbme 2908641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi, I’m a FT WOH mom, and just went back to work on Thursday. I love my job and make enough money that economically it makes no sense to quit, but sending DD to daycare breaks my heart. She’s at a high quality center, but I still ache being away from her 10 hours a day. I’m wondering if it gets better or maybe for those with a nanny/nanny-share what your thoughts/feelings are. I feel like I would feel a little better if I could see her during the day, but the center that had an opening is near DH’s office, which is nowhere near mine, so daytime visits really aren’t an option. 🙁 We’re on waitlists for other centers closer to me, but the way childcare is around here infant spots don’t really open up until fall, when everyone moves up a level. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2853070 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 15:48:37 +0000 Mama Bird 2853070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChiCalGoBee: oh, I'd definitely have a problem with adult TV shows! Kids pick up more stuff than we realize, and earlier than we realize. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2853046 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 14:38:52 +0000 pachamama 2853046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChiCalGoBee: It'd bother me too. I heard one method of basically telling people what to do is to say "because", like blame it on something.... "We don't want the TV on when she's in the room because we as a family kinda decided on no screen time til she's 2- my husband is surprisingly firm on this so please no TV!." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2853042 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 14:30:19 +0000 Mrsbells 2853042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChiCalGoBee: is your baby facing the tv? I would just ask to have the baby facing away from the tv. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2853014 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 13:01:45 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2853014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all for the feedback!</p> <p>@turquoisemama: Yes, I am her advocate. Thanks for the reminder.@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Yep. I need to be direct. Thank you!@ElbieKay: Thanks for the backup. She's only 19 so needs clearer boundaries. @erinbaderin: Thanks! @kiddosc: Yes, music is totally great, and I've considered podcasts, too. I'm not a background noise person but @LBee suggested the nursery rhymes app which is an awesome idea.<br /> @snarkybiochemist: We have a bluetooth speaker I can set up for her! Thanks. @Mama Bird: The first time it was the cartoon, but it's subsequently been adult TV shows. Again, fine for her to watch when the baby is sleeping, but I don't necessarily need my 3-month-old watching adult content. Our nanny is not full-time...her longest day here is 5 hours and typically two naps occur, so she does get a decent amount of downtime. My son definitely gets to watch shows (he's almost 4) and so the baby has plenty of exposure to it then. But when he's at school and she's home, no need for it to be on all day.@Shantuck: Oh gosh-the personal errands thing. I don't think that'll happen (at least not for a while as they are only on foot at the moment), but good to know that it happened.</p> <p>Thanks again for the feedback! I'll set her up with the idea of podcasts and music. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2853013 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 12:26:14 +0000 Shantuck 2853013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had this exact conversation with my nanny with my similarly aged baby. I just tried to casually say, "oh, we've been noticing that when the tv is on, the baby has been starting to look at it. We've decided that we're going to keep the tv off during the times she's awake and wanted to see if you could do the same. Obviously, feel free to watch when she's napping." My nanny replied with a "sounds good" and we actually didn't see it on again after that (though next came lugging the baby to do her personal errands/shopping, which necessitated a more direct and uncomfortable conversation). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2853004 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 11:25:11 +0000 Mama Bird 2853004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think this is so awful, especially considering she was watching a cartoon, not the evening news. But if it really bothers you, tell her.</p> <p>FWIW, I'm very much against screen time, but did watch kid-friendly stuff here and there "with" the kids at that age. They haven't turned into couch potatoes, and are OK with having very little screen time at home. I'm sure we'll have to revisit this when they're older and their friends are getting on social media, but that's another story.</p> <p>@snarkybiochemist: I really like the music suggestion! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2852965 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 08:53:44 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2852965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agreed with above, don't hint and be direct about it as her boss. I know generally I like having some type of background noise so I typically listen to music or podcasts. If this sounds reasonable to you I would make sure a speaker or radio is available to her and let her know clearly when these should be used rather than tv. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2852957 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 08:45:45 +0000 kiddosc 2852957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some people are just used to having the tv on all the time in the background. In her mind, if she's not actively watching and the baby isn't pointed at the screen, she may not even realize it's a problem. I'd be direct, tell her you'd prefer it not be on at all while the baby is awake and provide alternatives for background noise like music or podcasts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/nanny-watching-tv-while-baby-is-awake#post-2852956 Wed, 24 Oct 2018 08:43:13 +0000 erinbaderin 2852956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was going to say something, but @ElbieKay said it better. Don’t hint, just directly set or remind her of your expectations that when the baby is up, the tv is off. </p>