https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 20:53:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2293839 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 14:17:52 +0000 ms.jellen 2293839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's pretty compassionate now at 20 months. If he hurts me and I fake cry he comes up and gives me a hug and kiss. We also aren't the type of parents that rush to him when he cries either. I think it's just a personality thing and maybe they go through phases. He use to think it was funny when he hurt me and a fake cried haha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2293127 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 07:09:19 +0000 daniellemybelle 2293127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: Oh, of course. But most of the time she doesn't care or laughs if someone is hurt or upset. She is a pretty typical 2 year old in that she is fairly self-centered :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292382 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 10:44:24 +0000 .twist. 2292382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He has his moments. The rest of the time he isn't very compassionate. I could hurt myself and he'll laugh. He laughs if his cars "crash". Which is certainly not the reaction I ever have when playing with him or comforting him when he hurts himself. </p> <p>I think it's just that he hasn't really figured out the appropriate feelings/emotions yet. He's 2. It will come though, I'm sure... I hope... </p> <p>:P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292211 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 08:38:14 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2292211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Ha! I totally agree with this! We're shake it off kind of parents too, but LO is really empathetic!</p> <p>@irene: I think it just has to do with your child's personality, and that may definitely change as he gets older. My little guy cares a lot about how he's perceived by us. If he's in trouble, he will come over and try to get out of trouble by saying that he loves us and giving us a hug. He also doesn't like it when I cry. If he hears or sees me crying, he goes, "No crying mommy! I love you! Mommy, are you sad?" He'll be 3 next week, so it's sweet to know that he cares, but I don't think it's a slight towards you that your LO doesn't do the same. I think it's just that he's oblivious to what's going on. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292201 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 08:31:45 +0000 Mamasig 2292201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Too early to tell with DS2, but DS1 is very compassionate. He gets upset when we have to forcibly give his brother medicine. If you mention you don't feel well, he gives you a hug and a kiss. This boy is super sweet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292175 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 08:16:13 +0000 lamariniere 2292175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of mine seem to be more compassionate than not. A few months ago I was sick and DS (4 yo) seem concerned and asked if I wanted to lay down on the couch a lot, which is what I ask him when he's sick. DD (21 months) gets upset when she sees other kids crying and will sometimes start to cry too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292160 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 08:07:38 +0000 blackbird 2292160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that level of compassion and empathy may be beyond a 3.5 year old's level of comprehension. They're pretty self centered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292139 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 07:41:42 +0000 JoJoGirl 2292139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Part of me wonders if it's just the fact that your his mom? How does he act around his peers? I can't imagine any 3.5 yo toddler understanding "Mommy is tired and needs to rest" - those kinds of boundaries are just not on their spectrum. Their universe is that Mommy takes care of them, NOT the other way around (which I don't think ever changes :) ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292116 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 07:08:17 +0000 looch 2292116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is very compassionate. I was saying the other day that I need to go to the doctor and he asked me if he coud come as well to make sure I was okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292110 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 07:02:26 +0000 travellingbee 2292110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: parotting is how they learn appropriate reactions to others pain. I think that's being compassionate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292102 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 06:55:00 +0000 daniellemybelle 2292102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is mostly not compassionate at all and kind of a bully. She has her moments but I don't really think she is being truly empathetic but more parroting what she has seen us say &amp; do. So one time I was crying talking to DH about an upsetting situation and she came up and said, "What's wrong Mommy? You okay?" Which is what I would say to her if she were crying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2292011 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 22:00:55 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2292011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We only comfort LO is she seems very upset or if she asks for hugs. Otherwise we tell her she's fine and that's that. But she seems to be very compassionate. She's only 2 so it's not always consistent but she asks me or baby sister what's wrong if she sees us crying, always apologies after accidentally hurting you or if you say ouch she asks if you're okay. But if I told her I didn't feel good I don't even think she would know what that meant nor do I think she would care, so, I wouldn't worry about it! I'm sure he will have plenty of compassion as he ages. I hope you feel better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291970 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 21:04:23 +0000 Mama Bird 2291970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>B is very compassionate, but a toddler is a toddler. I don't think they have much of a clue that adults can get sick, tired, or hungry while taking care of them. He'll always go over to comfort someone who's crying, but I've also had days when I'm starving and tired after work and he totally refuses to get off the playground and go home.</p> <p>Oh, and we also don't make a big deal if he falls or bumps something... unless he's really upset, we just tell him that he's fine and should get up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291955 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:48:51 +0000 yoursilverlining 2291955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is *extremely* compassionate and we tell her to shake it off when she falls, etc. so I wouldn't worry that what you're doing is molding him some way. </p> <p>I think toddlers are kind of jerks by nature, so I wouldn't worry about ones that are not too compassionate :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291950 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:44:55 +0000 twodoghouse 2291950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 16 month old boy/girl twins (which is like watching a nature vs nurture experiment unfold because they are so very different!). B has no sense of compassion whatsoever, but A is extremely sensitive and compassionate, even at this age. When her brother is sick or having a bad day, she will rub his hair or back while he's nursing. She gave his hurt toe kisses the other day and even later she came over and touched his toe really gently. Once B bit me and I cried out "ouch!" and she came over and rubbed my knee and made kissing noises. When I was sick a couple weeks ago she brought me boogie wipes and (imaginary) cups of tea. I know that she's mostly emulating things she sees DH and me doing, but her twin brother doesn't do anything like this. He's your very typical oblivious to others toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291946 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:42:01 +0000 travellingbee 2291946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, he's pretty sensitive. He gets really upset if one of us is upset. He cries and hugs me and says "You be OK." or "That make you happy, Mommy?" That doesn't mean he isn't horrible in a tantrum- hits and kicks etc, but once he's calm he's very empathetic. He's 2.5. As parents, think we try to validate his pain,(say "ooh I bet that hurts) but also help him to move on quickly. He's pretty tough. (He got bit by 9 fire ants tonight and cried for a few minutes and then was ready to go back out!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291939 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:34:12 +0000 Mae 2291939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: not cool! Luckily fiona hasn't started (yet?) hitting or hitting on purpose. But she is just a wild child. Today she threw a full bottle of lotion and it landed on my toe and I cried out because it really effing hurt and she was cracking UP. I'm like... no. This is not mommy being funny I think you broke my toe! (she did not). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291934 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:31:31 +0000 irene 2291934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Aww, that is so, so sweet! The chances of me getting a hug when I cry is maybe....5%. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291928 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:26:16 +0000 Foodnerd81 2291928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: ugh. So c is really sweet and sympathetic most of the time, but she has started hitting or smacking DH and me and laughing, even when we tell her it hurts. She only gets upset when I put her down and walk away and then she throws a tantrum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291926 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:24:59 +0000 Foodnerd81 2291926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 2 and she actually is- but I think that is pretty unusual at her age. If I'm upset or crying (I'm pregnant. I cry sometimes) she will come give me a hug and say, you're all better. It's incredibly sweet. </p> <p>But, often when I'm having a bad day and feel like crap she definitely does not give a damn and misbehaves plenty. And I get really pissed that she doesn't care and have to remind myself that she is only 2! </p> <p>As for parenting, we try to have her brush it off when she falls down or is making a big deal over nothing, but when she is actually hurt or upset I do hold her and snuggle her. We are pretty snuggly in general. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291925 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:23:44 +0000 Mae 2291925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 16mo and I lovingly call her a sociopath :) Really she is probably too young to empathize. But if she hurts me and I yell out in actual pain? She laughs. I'm all about comfort of emotional problems and rub some dirt on it for physical pain (unless she is REALLY upset. But we give her space to get over it first). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-lo-compassionate#post-2291918 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 20:19:22 +0000 irene 2291918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is 3.5 years old and he definitely is more toward the not compassionate side.</p> <p>I am not feeling very well tonight. I already told him I am not well and he needs to go to bed/stay in bed so I can rest. But he just kept getting out of bed every 15 minutes whining mommy, mommy, mommy...argh! Another example: If I was very sad and I cried, he would not come and comfort me or ask me what's wrong. If DH and I get into an argument, he pretty much would play contently as if nothing's going on! Basically if he's not in trouble he pretty much doesn't really care. It kinda breaks my heart a little.</p> <p>We are definitely not the "elephant parents" where we pick him up when he falls down and cries...etc. We are more on the spectrum of "hey you are fine shake it off" (unless if he really hurted himself, of course). Not sure if we are molding him into how he is now.</p> <p>How about you? how old is your LO and is he/she compassionate? What does he/she do? And what kind of parent are you? Just curious to hear!</p> <p>(I am just sitting here at my desk with a massive headache, hoping DS would go to sleep) </p>