https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 19:45:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2334412 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 17:58:00 +0000 MrsRcCar 2334412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: 💗 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2334379 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 17:10:48 +0000 .twist. 2334379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: Yep. </p> <p>I would have reacted and have reacted the same way in similar situations. Hell, I've even done it with a group of kids who were picking on some other kid and my kid wasn't even involved! I'm not going to stand on the sidelines while watching a child get bullied. My kid or otherwise. </p> <p>L is on the smaller side so he's usually the one who tends to get picked on, but he can definitely be bossy and pushy and I have zero problems if another parents gets to him before I do and let's him know that isn't ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2334321 Mon, 26 Oct 2015 15:58:46 +0000 LadyPantaloons 2334321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If an older kid is physically (or otherwise) hurting my child then I would step in. I don't care, bring on the dirty looks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2332368 Sat, 24 Oct 2015 06:13:04 +0000 MrsRcCar 2332368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lilbear: she saw none of the interaction. She had moved on in the exhibit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2332355 Sat, 24 Oct 2015 04:14:49 +0000 Lilbear 2332355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you think that maybe the other kid's mom didn't see his little balled up fist, and only saw the push? (Or the aftermath of the push since she doesn't sound like she was 100% paying attention to him.) That may somewhat explain her reaction of being kind of snarky. </p> <p>Either way, I would have reacted EXACTLY how you did. No way some kid is going to hurt my LO with me just standing there and watching silently! It would never ever happen!</p> <p>Also, I am a teacher, so I am very comfortable with disciplining other people's children, since it comes with the job. I try to reign it in when I'm not at work, but that is a definite situation where I would have spoken up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2332268 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 21:41:00 +0000 MrsRcCar 2332268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: N has been known to be what I call aggessively friendly. I intervene and correct him plus apologize to both parent and child. Just wasn't the case this time. Just wish the mum hadn't been so snarky about it all. I have always been on board with someone alerting me to N's poor behavior, as long as like you said its constructive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2332224 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 20:41:01 +0000 loveisstrange 2332224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: +1</p> <p>You know, I wouldn't be mad at you if it was my kid and I would have totally said something to both the kid and the mom (probably right in front of her buddies, after her comment). Of course, I have no problem with another parent saying something to her, as long as it's constructive. I'd be pissed as hell if I caught someone yelling at her.</p> <p>My DD is 3.5 and very, very tall for her age. She is much bigger than kids her age, so that sometimes causes issues. I've caught C getting a little too rough before and I always intervene, apologize to the parent, and make her apologize to the kid. Even if the roughness wasn't malicious, and was just due to her not realizing how much bigger than other kids she is.</p> <p>Bottom line, I want to know if my kid is being a dick, so I can teach her how to not be a dick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2332130 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 18:21:28 +0000 MrsRcCar 2332130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SugarplumsMom: N can get adsorbed in his surroundings very easily. So when we are out in large public spaces I watch him very closely. Closed fist was a huge game charger for me. No need to strike my kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2332017 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 16:11:57 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2332017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg! I would be fuming if this happened to my kid. Closed fist and the kid was twice his age - I can't imagine any parent allowing that to happen. You did right to intervene. It was at a public place, not some school playground where kids are supposed to fend for themselves, especially not at 3yo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2331987 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 15:57:29 +0000 looch 2331987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: When I am with my son, I watch him like a hawk. Chances are I have seen and diffused a situation well before any parents sees anything. Now, I could understand if I wasn't paying any attention, sipping my coffee over in the corner, but I am usually right there, playing along, something else I get the stink eye from! But, my point is, sometimes, my son will just ignore whoever is talking to him. That's his way of dealing with the situation when he knows he's wrong and what does that prove? What lesson could anyone think he's absorbing at that moment? That's why I would prefer the chance to deal with it myself, because my method is going to be more effective because I've BTDT with him.</p> <p>I think the lesson is really that the "comment" are the issue, and I don't even hear them most of the time and I certainly don't engage in that, no matter how stinging the commentary is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2331790 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 13:59:34 +0000 MrsRcCar 2331790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: I am sorry that you have been on the other side. :heart:<br /> @Thrifty Mama: I really do generally try to leave it alone with other child. Not my monkeys sort of thing, however when it come to the potential harm of my child; the momma bear comes out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2331769 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 13:49:32 +0000 Thrifty Mama 2331769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have reacted the same way. My husband refers to me as "mama bear" whenever someone is picking on my child. I'm extremely protective of DS. I'm not one to say something to someone else's child, but with any sort of physical contact that can hurt someone, I say something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/3#post-2331750 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 13:42:43 +0000 Modern Daisy 2331750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm always on the other side of this because DS is very big and strong for his age and a true "alpha" male, pushing everyone out of the way, leading the charge, etc. While DH and I do our best to stay on top of him at all times and intervene when he inevitably bullies another kid (most of the time older and bigger than him!), I'm sure there have been times when we were turning away for a second and missed it. It happens so fast. I would never blame another parent for defending their child and gently reprimanding my son. It is super embarrassing to be on the other side adn I am constantly apologizing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331671 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 13:07:02 +0000 MrsRcCar 2331671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331619 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 12:12:24 +0000 pinkcupcake 2331619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: "There is no reason to get defensive about someone else parenting your kid when you aren't paying attention to your kid. Sensory issues, emotional issues, I don't care. If I'm not watching my kid and she does something mean to another kid, I want another parent to tell her that's not nice!" EXACTLY. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331579 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:48:46 +0000 MoonMoon 2331579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have reacted similarly. An older/bigger kid shoving my kid down and about to punch him? Um no. The other mom is in the wrong for not supervising, and then acting put out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331556 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:29:48 +0000 Autumnmama79 2331556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: I would do just as you did!! Totally justified in my opinion. When it comes to the safety of my child, the last thing I'm concerned about is how someone else is or isn't parenting their child. I too would swiftly step in and protect my very young child. When I've felt my child is in danger I have absolutely reprimanded the offending child while diffusing the situation. Zero tolerance over here. </p> <p>Good job mama bear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331546 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:22:27 +0000 MrsRcCar 2331546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: her group defiantly didn't look impressed with her response.<br /> @sarac: It made the rest of the visit to the zoo a little less fun. Apparently we were going around the same path of zoo so there was a lot of huffing done by the other mom and rude looks. We just ignored them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331538 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:19:30 +0000 Maysprout 2331538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I step in at times, especially to prevent things like hitting. But after being snarky and exasperated with a little girl last year (she wanted my 10 month old off of a toy at the playground so shoved her off and then told her she was annoying), I realized they're still little and all diff combos of sweet and assholes and even if a kids asshole side was coming out to address the issue but still treat them in a way to help them get back to their sweet side. </p> <p>As for the mom making a comment I'd probably ignore it - I'm 100% ok with not everyone liking me. Her friends prob thought 'well your kid did push the kid' even if they didn't say it to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331536 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:18:48 +0000 MrsRcCar 2331536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11: no problem just clarifying. I wouldn't like that either with the expection of our play date mom correcting my boys in terms of their interactions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331534 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:18:05 +0000 sarac 2331534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would NEVER stand for some other child coming at my kid with a closed fist - never never never. I'd react the same. And if the other parent snarked to her friends about it, I'd probably loudly tell my child to stay away from that child, as he wasn't being very nice. Because sometimes I think you have to fight asshole with asshole. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331530 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:15:31 +0000 Rockies11 2331530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: sorry - I wasn't comparing. What happened to me was actually someone swooping in and taking my kid for doing something to my other kid, which I really didn't like. In a situation where my kid is getting hurt, I swoop in and pick up my kid and ignore the other kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331525 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:12:38 +0000 MrsRcCar 2331525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11: My goal was to diffuse the situation before N became hurt. I wouldn't call what I did swooping in, I was physically watching the whole interaction. The other mother had zero idea of what actual happened until the issue had been resolved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331516 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:08:37 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2331516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: I would have done the same thing! In fact, there have been two occasions where something similar has happened and I absolutely spoke up and said something to the kid. </p> <p>Pushing, fine, I'll let it slide. But anything more physical than that will bring out the Momma Bear in me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331513 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:07:23 +0000 Rockies11 2331513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have had a couple of situations like this happen. I just pick up my kid and walk away, and then talk to my kid about appropriate behaviour. She got (intentionally) kicked in the face by an older boy on the playground a little while ago, and I just picked her up and cuddled her, and totally ignored the kid. We talked about how kicking is not nice and hurts. Later his mom apologized to me and was practically crying. For me, the focus is on teaching my kid what we do and don't do to other kids. </p> <p>Conversely, the other day a mom swooped in and disciplined my kid for doing something to her sister, and I did not like that one bit. It's embarrassing and made me feel like the mom thought the measures I was taking were inadequate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331510 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:05:56 +0000 YogiRunner 2331510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRcCar: I get it. I don't think I'd be able to think of something fast enough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331505 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:00:56 +0000 MrsRcCar 2331505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@YogiRunner: The only things I could think to say weren't near the high road. So I decided to just move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331496 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 10:57:10 +0000 YogiRunner 2331496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: Was about to write the exact same response. My kid isn't even born yet, so I can't relate to having been in this situation before, but you'd better believe if s/he was in danger of being hit with a closed fist, I'd intervene swiftly and sternly as the adult. And I get modeling the high road, but why can't that involve calmly defending yourself when another adult (and mom) is unkind to you? That's what I'd expect someone to do to me if I was out of line - and still follows/models the Golden Rule. </p> <p>@mediagirl: Yes. That. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331484 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 10:51:04 +0000 snowjewelz 2331484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: Or like, even if I didn't love the mom's tone and how she dicisiplined my child, I needed to shut my mouth b/c my child and me (b/c I did not stop mine child first) were at fault! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/incident-at-the-zoo-today/page/2#post-2331480 Fri, 23 Oct 2015 10:49:04 +0000 littlebug 2331480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: Exactly! How would she have felt if her kid had punched another person's child in the face? I'd be grateful to the other parent for preventing it, and then having a quite stern chat with my child! </p>