https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 07:41:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997517 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 21:20:37 +0000 catomd00 1997517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I couldn't agree with the op more and do think she was genuinely trying to help others. It astounding to me the number of new parents and non parents who are unaware of normal infant sleep patterns and think CIO is just something you naturally have to do like potty training When it absolutely is not. I am thankful I found resources early on that taught me that isn't he case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997481 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 20:15:32 +0000 mrbee 1997481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: the OP account was created 15 months ago and has a number of threads from last year! I don't think the OP was a troll; I think they just had strong feelings on this topic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997473 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 20:02:23 +0000 Synchronicity 1997473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: I totally agree that the judgement goes both ways, I just disagree with you about the tone of OPs post. </p> <p>OP may have left because she felt attacked, but it is just as likely that she created that account for the sole purpose of posting a drama-worthy thread, and then deleted it right after ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997470 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 19:55:38 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1997470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: What if someone says that CIO gives self-soothing skills that babies don't get when they are allowed to nurse to sleep through toddlerhood? Attack? If they call nursing to sleep a crutch? I don't take it as an attack. I still don't see a direct attack: there are, in fact, published reputable studies that show a connection between cortisol levels, gene expression, etc. It's certainly not definitive: there are also some studies showing no long-term detriment. But if you were personally against CIO there is supporting information out there. Anyway, I hate that there are such negative feelings on both ends: on hers enough that she left immediately, and on other members' because they felt attacked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997432 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 19:03:54 +0000 Synchronicity 1997432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: OP stated that people who use CIO are causing psychological damage to their children. If that isn't an attack on a parenting choice, I don't know what is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997396 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:46:38 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1997396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: To me it felt more like a lack of tact than being a jerk. I didn't see any actual attacks (people who do CIO are monsters, etc.), but definitely some things that could rub someone with a different opinion the wrong way. I could be wrong. It just struck me as someone who had found their way to a really strong opinion trying to express that. And pretty much any opinion without a lot of qualifiers has the potential to offend someone, somewhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997394 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:45:29 +0000 mrbee 1997394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We encourage honesty and welcome contrary opinions, so I didn't have a problem with the thread topic. We do ask for civility though, so was watching the thread closely.</p> <p>All that said, the OP shut down their account, so I don't think they were a troll. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997390 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:42:02 +0000 meredithNYC 1997390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: I get what you're saying, but think there is quite a big difference between expressing an opinion and being a jerk about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997384 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:34:25 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1997384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And now for something completely different...</p> <p>It's life. Many of us have strong opinions. I might elect not to read a post extolling the virtues of CIO because I know it's not for me, but if I read something demonstrating a viewpoint wildly variable from my own, I don't let it get me too worked up unless I'm mentioned by name. </p> <p>I don't think you are a troll, @KOzsari. I'm not going to pile on you. I'd love for you to stay in the discussion; it sounds like your personal experiences left you with a strong viewpoint. I respect that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997373 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:21:31 +0000 Synchronicity 1997373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Calling a commonly used sleep training method "psychologically damaging" is straight up trolling. I don't know why this thread isn't being closed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997371 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:18:32 +0000 LBee 1997371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: My thoughts exactly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997367 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:08:50 +0000 BabyTsMom 1997367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: that'd actually make me feel better! ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997365 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:07:10 +0000 meredithNYC 1997365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This person has to be a troll, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997362 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:03:19 +0000 BabyTsMom 1997362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>eta: I'm deleting my response. apparently I'm too gullible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997356 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 16:56:45 +0000 loveisstrange 1997356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really uncalled for. Don't mean to alienate people? Well, that was a fail. Good job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997354 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 16:54:51 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 1997354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These boards aren't really for threads like this....it's fantastic that things worked out for you but letting your kid starve because your body isn't producing milk isn't natural, so there's that. </p> <p>This is a great community that focuses on honest opinions but more importantly, unbiased support we are kind and considerate despite of our differences. These kinds of posts are not conducive to that at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997346 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 16:40:53 +0000 mrbee 1997346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KOzsari: That's great that things worked out for your LO's sleep without sleep training!</p> <p>On the flip side, I sleep trained my kids and they seem ok to me. They didn't cry for too long, and slept a whole lot more afterward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cry-it-out#post-1997344 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 16:37:25 +0000 KOzsari 1997344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to say that about 9 months ago I tried cry it out with my baby. She cried and cried inconsolably and after a while I just went back to breastfeeding on demand. Then I started taking her into bed when she was a bit older. Both she and I got much better sleep. Now I love sleeping with her and cuddling her. I regret trying cry it out. I read an article that when babies are left to cry, their stress hormones increase. However, even when they get used to being left alone or not being held, even when they stop crying, those stress hormones remain at a high level. They learn that no one will respond to their distress, but that doesn't mean they stop being distressed. In the wild, if a mammal leaves their young alone at night or lets it cry, predators will devour it. What I'm saying is cry it out is not natural. It's psychologically damaging. And quitting breastfeeding early is unnatural, no other mammal makes their young quit so early in development. I don't mean to alienate anyone. I just want to warn young mothers ( just like me) that are listening to a million pieces of advice. Love your kid. Comfort him when he cries. Don't train him like an animal. You'll be happier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1948092 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 17:03:26 +0000 littleblessings 1948092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jass: that's fine! I am quite sleep deprived myself. I have a 9 month old and a 2 year old and the 2 year old hasn't been wanting to sleep. She used to have a perfect sleep schedule. /: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947986 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:48:08 +0000 Jass 1947986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleblessings: sorry didn't intended to threadjack, just a sleep deprived mom looking for answers and courage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947477 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 12:26:26 +0000 Mae 1947477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jass: I don't want to threadjack but I'll maybe start a new thread about it? Seems like some people have some stuff to talk about with this. Look out for a thread from me in a few minutes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947301 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 11:12:43 +0000 Mamasig 1947301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyTsMom: I think you have a point. DS1 has never been a good sleeper. Bed sharing just naturally worked for us. If it hadn't, then I probably would have moved on to the next thing. Still not sure if I could handle CIO but I never got to that point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947292 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 11:07:27 +0000 blackbird 1947292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: Oh ok! I misunderstood. I was gonna say, you definitely don't do CIO for night feedings! We had better luck just reducing the amount slowly until she just stopped missing it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947269 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 10:59:04 +0000 Pirouette 1947269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: i agree! that's why i don't feel it fits our situation. although our doc actually suggested we could try it in an effort to night wean - but i'm just not comfortable doing so when she refuses to eat during the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947256 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 10:54:15 +0000 BabyTsMom 1947256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>echoing what @ShootingStar said. I realize it's not for everyone, but this topic was posted on the sleep training board, and the fact is that many of us have done CIO. So for some to say they don't agree with it or that it goes against their beliefs or whatever...I guess I cant help but feel defensive. Perhaps the ones who don't aagree with CIO have naturally better sleepers and just never felt that desperation of needing to get baby to sleep? But like @Mae said, some are left with little other option and the end result is actually less crying overall. I doubt that anyone, even those who advocate or have had success with CIO, likes to hear their baby cry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947246 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 10:51:41 +0000 CakeLady 1947246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were, like @Mae:, totally opposed to sleep training and CIO, but we got to a point where there was truly nothing we could do to get him to sleep. DS would actually cry harder when we went in to get him when he would and fight and flail in our arms. I'd nurse him back to sleep and the second I put him in his crib he would wake up and start screaming again. We tried-co sleeping but no one was sleeping well. So we finally tried Feber's method with checks. The first night he cried 10 minutes and fell asleep - he was crying longer than that when we would try and soothe him.<br /> Bedtime has become much more manageable. He still wakes up to nurse once or twice, but sleep is better all around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947208 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 10:37:04 +0000 blackbird 1947208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: You don't do CIO for feedings. Not at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947191 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 10:27:03 +0000 ShootingStar 1947191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to say don't knock it until you try it. We did CIO with DS because he was crying regardless. And now he sleeps AWESOME and has since 7m. After bath time we give him a pacifier, read him a story and he's usually out and then sleeps for 11.5-12 hours straight. If he's crying in the middle of the night I know something's wrong. </p> <p>I feel now like CIO was something we all needed to get through because it was better for him and for us than broken in sleep in 45min - 2 hour increments all night long. Just like shots - they suck for everyone, but ultimately they are what's best for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947189 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 10:25:58 +0000 Jass 1947189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: did you got rid of soother and are you nap training as well at same time. Sorry lot of questions but desperate and sleep deprived mom. I was kind of following you, our babies are quite similar. Can you just update your two night experience and how you dealt witn crying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-method#post-1947185 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 10:24:44 +0000 Pirouette 1947185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>also not on board. it doesn't actually fit our sleep problems so i have never really tried it. i have a baby that happily goes to sleep on her own, but still wakes up to nurse a few times a night because she reverse cycles. I can't imagine making her CIO when she's starving. </p>